


What Lies Beneath

by zaubernuss



Category: The Vampire Diaries & Related Fandoms, The Vampire Diaries (TV), The Vampire Diaries - L. J. Smith
Genre: Delena, Drama, F/M, Family Secrets, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Love, Romance, Slow Build, Stand-alone-story, Vampires, Witchcraft, blood-drinking, season one based
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-05
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-04-19 06:38:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 126,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4736249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaubernuss/pseuds/zaubernuss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When two mystery guys move to Mystic Falls, Elena falls in love. But neither of them is boyfriend material, especially not Damon, who lost his heart back in 1864. What if he finds out that things weren't at all like they seemed and that Elena is the key to unlocking his dark past? Events spiral out of control and threaten to destroy everything...</p><p>If you like vampires, give this story a try - even if you're not at all familiar with TVD. You don't have to know anything about the series to understand the story. And for all people who love Severus Snape - you will love Damon, too. He's just as sarcastic and a seemingly bad-guy, but funnier and better looking. ;)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Haunted

**Author's Note:**

> This is an alternative, stand-alone Delena-story that I started writing during season 1.
> 
> I fell for Damon the moment he saved Elena from the car accident, so that was my key scene. The storyline doesn't follow the show, but includes a lot of my (and probably your) favorite scenes and lines. Some technical aspects of vampirism slightly vary, as do some relationships ;)
> 
> Please note that the focus of this story is clearly on Delena, and that all other relationships will only be a sideline in this story.
> 
> Setting: Mystic Falls and a close by community college (as I wanted my characters to be older than highschool kids)
> 
> Given that all the chapters are ready and beta-ed, I'll update at least weekly.

ELENA

When we walked up the tree-lined alley to the house, there was nothing sinister about it. Just an impressive southern mansion in bright sunlight, complete with Corinthian stone pillars and brick chimneys. Nothing that hinted at the dark secrets hidden inside, nothing that could have warned us to stay away.

It was a gorgeous afternoon. A warm breeze played with my hair, Bonnie's wide skirt and the silken whiff of a scarf that Caroline wore purely for decoration. We were in the best of moods, enjoying the last days of spring break that we had spent traveling the state of South Carolina. My room mate in college, Alys, had recommended this charming hotel – one of the old plantation buildings carefully restored and renovated to accommodate tourists like us. She was from somewhere around here, and so far, her advice on the sights had proved most valuable. We were immediately enchanted with this place – the lush gardens, the huge, moss covered trees surrounding the house, the pebbled walkways – all so charming. If only I had known.

"Looks like a picture postcard, don't you think? I love it!" Caroline was enthusiastic. "Just like we had traveled back in time – you almost expect to see a carriage coming up the driveway and the house slaves coming out for greeting..."

Bonnie, whose family had African-American roots, gave Caroline a slightly reproachful look. "That's way off from being politically correct, you know... You might well be speaking about my ancestors."

"Your ancestors were slaves?"

"Given that my family didn't arrive here just yesterday very likely so! Haven't you been paying attention in history class?" Caroline brushed a strand of light blond hair out of her face and sighed wistfully. "Lately, I've been way too occupied with paying attention to that new professor, Mr. Saltzman. They shouldn't make anyone with those looks and such a sexy voice a teacher. It's totally taking my focus elsewhere."

Bonnie and I exchanged an amused glance. It wasn't sure yet if Caroline would make it through college. She was way too interested in the extracurricular aspects of student life. As Alys had put it in the bluntness that was typical for her, she sometimes gave the impression of being somewhat slow-witted, which wasn't true. It was just that her attention was a fleeting thing.

"Well, let's see if they still have any vacancies," Bonnie suggested. "I would love to stay here for a night, all the more because another hour in the car is surely going to kill my back!"

We entered the impressive hallway that was made into a reception area. The woman behind the desk really fit into the picture Caroline had painted earlier. Her clothes were old fashioned – not quite as old as would have fit into the Civil War period, but close. She gave us a warm, welcoming smile. On our question as to an available accommodation for the three of us, however, she regretfully shook her head.

"I'm sorry, we only have double rooms," she said, then smiling again. "But since the house isn't booked out, I could offer you two of those at a special rate. Let me see..." She gave us the prices for each, which really were a special rate and wouldn't overstretch our budget.

"You can have the single room, Elena," Bonnie suggested. "Caroline and I are used to sharing a room with each other, and for you, it'd be probably nice to spend a night without a slightly freaky room mate." Bonnie didn't much care for Alys, who was indeed a little peculiar. I had gotten used to her, though, and even made friends with her. Still, after months of sharing a room, it would be nice to have a room all to myself for a change.

"Here are your keys, then. The rooms are next to each other on the upper floor, in the corridor just off the main stairway. Dinner is served at seven in the dining room down the hall. We would like to invite you for a welcome drink just before that. And if you are interested in seeing the premises, there will be a guided tour at five. There will be tourists from the town. All our hotel guests are welcome to join."

We thanked her and retreated to our rooms. There was still enough time beforehand to get comfortable – take a quick shower and unpack the necessities for the night. This was supposed to be our last stop before heading back north, to the little town of Mystic Falls where we all had our roots – more or less. After the divorce of her parents, Caroline had been living with her father in California for three years, and had only come back to Mystic Falls recently, just as I had. Since I was fifteen, I had been living with my aunt Jenna and my cousin Jeremy in a small town in Pennsylvania – ever since the tragic death of my parents.

When starting college last autumn, I had decided to move back to our even smaller home town in Virginia. The community college was barely an hour's drive away from Mystic Falls, and I wanted to be close to my childhood friends again – especially Bonnie, who went to Greenville College, too.

Jenna, who had ended a painful relationship recently, was in a mood for a change. Given that my former family's house had never been sold or rented out, she had suggested that we all set up residence in Mystic Falls again, which, after all, was her home town, too. This way, I would have a place to come home to during the weekends, and that was nice.

Caroline hadn't been thrilled to come back, though. She had never been a small-town girl, and besides, she had a strained relationship with her mother, who was Sheriff in Mystic Falls. But after her father had decided to move in with his new partner – who just happened to be another guy – she understandably hadn't been wanting to stay with him, either. As much as she respected his life-style, that was just a little too weird.

I was happy to be with my two closest friends again. After going through much of our puberty together, we all were like sisters – with all the sibling rivalries and conflicts included. If all the family you have left is two childhood friends, a loving aunt and a cousin, you make sure you get along with them. And we really did, most of the time.

"I'm so glad that Alys brought this place to our attention," I remarked, as we were later following the guide along on our sightseeing tour. Bathed in afternoon sunlight, it seemed enchanted, not haunted. "The town is so small and secluded, I wouldn't ever have thought about coming here."

"Nor would I. It's way off from the interstate. Still, I don't think we'll need more than about three hours to get back, tomorrow."

"How come Alys knew about this place?"

"I think Alys' family is from somewhere around here."

"You mean her real family from before she was adopted? What happened to them?" The question was justified, given that Alys was living in foster care with Dr. Daniels in Mystic Falls. He was the pathologist at the small community hospital and had been taking in foster children ever since he had moved to the town. In the beginning, people were argus-eyed about it – expecting trouble from adolescent kids that surely had to be in foster care for a reason. But none of them had ever be known to cause trouble. They had kept mostly to themselves, not hanging out partying at all. And Dr. Daniels, despite his somewhat gloomy profession, was a kind, very polite man and well-liked in town. He had been a close friend of my parents, too, but that was long before Alys had come to live with him.

"I have no idea. She never told me how she ended up in foster care. She doesn't like to talk about her past." Despite having shared a room with her for almost a year, I didn't know anything about her past. But then – I never asked. Having lost my entire family, I knew how painful it was to constantly explain myself to people. The unavoidable look of pity I received in return was even more painful, sometimes.

"She doesn't like to talk about anything more private than her favorite color or the book she's been reading lately," Bonnie pointed out. In a way, it was true. Alys was very much a loner. She had never applied for a shared dorm room, but – due to some mistake in the college's internal organization – had ended up stuck with me. Cherishing her privacy very much, she was suffering from the situation.

"She's a recluse," Caroline said, though what she probably really meant was 'bore'. People like Alys didn't hold much interest for her. "Even though she's driving home every single weekend, I've hardly ever seen her in Mystic Falls. I wonder what she's doing all the time."

"She's with Dr. Daniels a lot," I felt the need to defend Alys. "They sometimes go hiking together, or she helps him with the office work in the hospital."

Caroline shrugged her shoulders. She didn't have reservations as Bonnie did; to her, Alys was weird and boring at best. Probably most of our fellow students would have agreed. Apart from me, she didn't have any friends that I knew of. She and I got along pretty well – somehow connecting on a deeper level. I valued privacy, too, and Alys and I found a way to respect the little of it that could be found in a limited space.

Maybe it was her being slightly gloomy that I responded to. I sure knew about sadness and loneliness, and the feeling of not belonging. In a world of joyful young people who seemed to embrace the freedom that came with finally being away from parental supervision, Alys and I had always felt old. Growing up without the sheltering care of loving parents made you an early adult. Standing on your own feet was not an adventure, it was a liability. And there was this sadness deep inside that sometimes kept the seemingly profane problems, pleasures and amusements of others out of your reach. If it hadn't been for Caroline, who had nothing melancholic about her at all, I might have ended up lost in depression. Unlike me, she was bright, cheerful and careless – and ever optimistic.

Sometimes I thought that each of my three closest friend represented different aspects of myself – Caroline was the fun and carefreeness, Alys was the depth and sadness underneath and Bonnie was trust, stability and loyalty – the remaining parts of my childhood. We had been almost inseparable ever since playing in the sandbox together.

I was very happy to have my two closest friends back with me – during the week in college, and in Mystic Falls for the weekends. It was a compromise also for Caroline, who could at least spend five days out of seven in a decent sized city. Of course, she could have stayed in the dorm instead of going home, but although she was constantly complaining about the dullness of the town, she had easily gotten reacquainted with our old kindergarten and high school friends. I was having a bit more trouble due to my circumstances. Four years is an awfully long time between barely fifteen and almost twenty.

The tour through the old plantations building was enjoyable. All the buildings had been beautifully restored, and the gardens were exquisite. In retrospect, I could only wonder how it was possible to hide ugly wounds and deadly secrets beneath a layer of bright paint where buildings were concerned, while it never seemed to work for people. Nothing seemed amiss, so we were all happy and relaxed when we got back to the main house and sat down in the formal living room, which had been made into a sort of cocktail bar, and waited to be served the promised welcome drinks.

Just before being served, my phone rang, and I got out to talk in private. The number on the display told me it was Alys. I hadn't spoken to her since the end of term – Caroline and I had left for Pennsylvania, visiting our high school friends down there, before meeting Bonnie in Atlanta a week later to start our little field trip.

She enquired about what we had seen so far and where we were staying. Of course, she was especially interested to hear how we liked in the hotel she had brought to our attention and had me describe everything in detail. Then she gave me the latest news on Mystic Falls, which wasn't that much – nothing much ever happened in that charming, but rather sleepy little town.

"Remember that I told you about Stefan, my old foster brother from when I lived in Chicago?"

I did. Alys had mentioned him those rare times she was talking about her past. From what I had learned then, he had started college about a year or two before her, somewhere up north.

"I remember you saying that you liked him a lot and that you missed him. You wanted him to change universities and move here."

"That's exactly what he did. When I got home at the beginning of spring break about two weeks ago, he was there! I thought he wouldn't be able to switch in the middle of term, but he did. I'm so thrilled – isn't that fantastic?"

I was mildly surprised at Alys's unusual exuberance. Ever since the two eldest of Dr. Daniels's foster children had moved out about a year ago, Alys had been the only one to stay at his house, and I had always figured that she preferred it that way. "Sounds like you really like him a lot."

"I do, very much so. He feels like a real brother to me. You'll like him, too, I'm sure."

"Well, then I'm happy for you. I guess I'll be seeing him soon, then. We'll be back by Friday at the latest, for the spring break party. I take it you won't be coming along?"

"You know how I hate it when people gather in herds."

I sighed. "Yes, I do. I just thought that with your brother – it'd be a chance to introduce him to us..."

"I'd rather have you come over to my place on Sunday."

"Okay. I'll give you a call when we get home." I was a little disappointed that Alys wasn't going to join in the holiday fun, but then, she had never liked parties of any kind, so it wasn't a big surprise. We agreed to meeting on Sunday, and Alys wished me fun and a safe trip.

We had barely hung up on one another when the phone rang again– this time it was Jenna, making a parental control call, probably more out of the feeling that this was the proper thing to do, rather than actually meaning it. Having been a rather rebellious teenager herself, she was a very liberal mother. Even though I was her niece and surrogate daughter, I had somehow ended up becoming more of a friend to her, probably because with my temper and history, I had always been more adult and responsible than most of my peers. Jenna was happy – trusting that I wasn't likely to get into trouble, she only made few, reasonable demands.

When I got back to the parlor, Bonnie and Caroline were already half through their cocktails and apparently amusing themselves. I couldn't exactly tell if it was just the holiday mood or if they were slightly tipsy. Sitting down with them again, I tried mine and found it to be strong, sweet and definitively drinkable. Before I had a chance to really dive into it, though, it was time for dinner.

We went to bed soon after, feeling tired. Bonnie and Caroline seemed almost half asleep by the time we reached our rooms, and I was feeling a little drowsy, too. Probably the long drive had been more taxing than we had noticed.

"Have a good night, then, girls!" Caroline yawned. "Wake me for breakfast – provided it's after nine!"

"Sweet dreams, everybody!" Bonnie disappeared into her room at the end of the hallway, and I closed the door to mine. It was a lovely bedroom furnished in the style of the late 1800s, and at least the massive frame of the bed looked authentic. Probably it was an original piece that had been handed down from generation to generation. I slipped into my pajamas, and, after making use of the fortunately modern bathroom, climbed into bed.

It was incredibly big and soft. The curtains were a bit too much, though, and made me long for fresh air. I got up again and opened the window. It was overlooking the gardens, shaded by huge trees. I couldn't even see much of the sky and thus no stars, but there was a small source of light somewhere in the distance. Maybe an illuminated window of one of the outer buildings. I took a deep breath and enjoyed the silence. Nothing to be heard but the slight breeze rustling in the trees, very relaxing. I decided to leave the window open. It was a warm night, anyway, and hopefully the mosquitos wouldn't be too bothersome yet.

Appeased and loaded with oxygen I got back into the bed, tossing and turning restlessly for a while, before I slowly drifted off. I must have barely fallen asleep when something woke me with a start. My heart was drumming in my chest as if I had just finished a field race. To my own surprise I realized that I was shaking badly. But I couldn't fathom what had sent me into this state of panic. I couldn't even remember a bad dream.

I sat up to get a grip of my surroundings, trying to distinguish between furniture and the shadows they were casting. A sudden movement caught my eye when a huge, black bird flew up from the back of a chair next to the window and disappeared into the night. I almost screamed, totally freaked out. There was gooseflesh on my skin, and it wasn't from the cold. Still feeling my heart beating like a drum inside my chest, I hastily jumped out of the bed and threw the window shut. It took a while before I was able to breathe evenly again. It felt like I had just had a vision – only that I didn't remember any of it. But I was almost certain that something supernatural had happened. I switched on the bedside lamp and decided to leave it burning – just in case. Despite my reasoning that it was just a stupid bird that had accidentally found its way into the room and startled me out of sleep, it was a very long while before I finally managed to get back to it.

BONNIE

Looking back, I think our arrival at this little hotel in Georgia marked a crossing point in our lives. Things most likely had taken a different course, if we had stayed on the highway and simply kept going straight back home. But of course, we hadn't known that at the time. Not even me, which just goes to show that even a sixth sense is nothing reliable when needed.

We happily enjoyed the unexpected comforts of the rooms, the nice interior, the beauty of the gardens and never noticed that we had cheerfully walked into a trap. I was the only one who came out unscarred, though Caroline still appeared to be fine, when she came down for breakfast next morning. She smiled when she saw what was laid out on the breakfast table and immediately dug into it. Unusual for her, who was always conscious about the calorie content of her diet, but surely nothing to be worried about.

"I'm famished!" she declared, when I dubiously looked at what she had loaded onto her plate. "Don't ask me, it's probably the change of air."

"Don't you think we should at least wait for Elena?" I asked, knowing that Caroline sometimes had a tendency not to notice the people around her – or their absence.

"Not necessary – there she comes! Good morning, sleepyhead!"

I turned and saw Elena walk in. Unlike Caroline, she looked anything but cheerful – rather as if she had had a particularly bad night.

"How can you two sound so cheerful?" she complained sullenly. "It was an awful night. I barely slept at all. The atmosphere in this house gave me nightmares!"

Somewhat surprised I looked at her. Elena always had her feet firmly on the ground – it wasn't like her at all to be spooked by anything. Besides, I hadn't noticed anything perturbing at all, which makes a lot of sense now, but didn't back then. "I didn't dream anything unusual." I said, frowning a little. "In fact, I don't think I dreamed at all – which, come to think about it, might be a little unusual." Okay, so I had been sleeping extraordinarily soundly, but given the big, immensely comfortable bed, the alcohol we had for dinner and my exhaustion from the day before, this was not really surprising.

"Well, I was having dreams, too," Caroline said with a dreamy expression. "Strange dreams, indeed! But they were – entertaining." She smiled elfishly. "Must have been the cocktails."

Elena dismissed Caroline's theory with a wave of her hand. "I didn't even finish my cocktail. In fact, I had barely nipped at it when my phone rang, and I never got back to it. I tell you – there's something spooky in this house. I just wanna get out of here."

"Now, relax, Elena!" I tried to be rational. "It's not like you to start seeing ghosts in plain daylight. Besides, I'm the one with the second sight, remember? If there was a presence in this house, I would know, trust me!" I gave her a cheerful wink, knowing she would not take me seriously. In fact, I didn't take it seriously myself. It was my grandmother who was into the esoteric stuff – she believed herself to be a witch, and lately, had claimed that I was going to be one, too. Even though she was known all over town as the local witch, nobody apart from herself seriously believed it.

Not wanting to start competing with her in that area, I had always laughed it off. Though there had been a couple of incidents lately that had been disconcerting. It had started out harmlessly enough – knowing who was on the phone before actually answering it, always having an umbrella with me when it unexpectedly started to rain or feeling the presence of other people around me even if they tried to sneak up on me. Recently though, I was also having vivid dreams that more often than not gave me hints about what to expect – visitors that would show up out of the blue, minor accidents or unpleasant things that would happen during the week. I hadn't been much surprised when our neighbor had died – he had been over eighty, so that didn't really count, I had predicted Obama to become president and I had known beforehand that Caroline's latest date would turn out to be a complete disaster. However, that had not convinced her to call it off. Not surprising, giving my lack of arguments.

"Maybe it was the cocktails," I supported Caroline's point, not willing to interpret anything psychic into a night of lost sleep, an unusual appetite or the absence of dreams. "After all, it's not like we're used to drinking. So – what are the plans for today? Are we going to see some sights around here or are we heading straight back for Mystic Falls after breakfast?"

"I don't think there are any sights to see around here. Unless you want to tour different plantations, that is..." Elena skipped through the pages of a little tourist brochure that she'd probably picked up at reception.

"No, thanks!" Caroline immediately dismissed the idea. "I guess once you've seen one, you know them all. I'd like to get back – there's the spring break party tomorrow night in the park. How about doing some shopping before that? I could definitively use a new dress."

"You're right. I almost forgot about it completely. Last time I was at a party in Mystic Falls I had to be home at ten."

"That's because you were only fifteen, back then."

Elena was right. We both carefully refrained from mentioning that it had been the last time she had attended a local celebration in Mystic Falls. It had been the Founder's Party, which was thrown every year in May. In autumn of that year, Elena's parents had died in a car crash and she had moved away to live with her aunt in Pennsylvania. It had been the second tragedy that ripped her family apart. When she was six, her much older brother had also died tragically. Elena said she could hardly remember him, but I remember that after his demise, nothing had quite been the same in her family.

Psychic or not, I had empathy enough to realize where Elena's thoughts had wandered again and tried to lead them back to lighter places. "Caroline is right, Elena," I suggested. "Let's get going and make a stop in Greenville. We can do some shopping there before we get home. That way we'll make sure at least that no one else will show up wearing the same dresses again, as it happened last year with Charlene Cooper and Aimee Bradley."

"You are kidding! How embarrassing is that?" Caroline's perception of tragedy had always been very different from everybody else's.

"Things like these happen if you're shopping in a town with just one mall."

"Really, sometimes I wonder how you two can still look so forward to going home every weekend. It'd be so much more fun just to stay at the dorm and go out in a town that has at least a few shopping centers and more than two bars!"

"What's wrong with the Grill?" I asked. That was the place where we usually hung out on weekends. It was nothing special, but it had a pool table and was always crowded. Basically, because it was the only place to go to if you wanted to hang out.

"Nothing! It'd just be nice to not always go out to the same place, meeting the same people all the time. I'd just like to make a new acquaintance, every once in a while."

"You're lucky," Elena said in between bites. "Alys told me yesterday that Dr. Daniels has taken up another foster-child."

Caroline raised her brows. "And why would that be interesting?"

"Because, strictly speaking, he's not a child. Though Alys referred to him as her little brother."

"I know who you are talking about!" I was able to give input. "His name is Stefan – I accidentally bumped into him at the library last weekend." I had been so engrossed in a book I was reading while walking along the line of shelves that I hadn't felt him coming. After a bit of embarrassed apologizing on my part, we had exchanged a few words, and I had learned that he had moved to Mystic Falls just recently and was a transfer student.

On hearing that he was to live with Dr. Daniels, I had felt a brief twitch of disappointment. So far, I had never much liked any of their foster children, not even Alys. Not that we were fighting – Alys was neither mean nor bitchy. There was just something mysterious about her that I couldn't put my finger on. She was always trying so hard to keep her distance and I had always felt that she had been particularly determined to evade me. In my opinion, her need for privacy bordered on paranoia, and with a room the size of our college dorm, I often wondered how Elena managed to respect it. Much to my surprise, she had even taken a liking to her – maybe her gloom was something that she could relate to. Though Elena and I were very close, my relationship with Alys was superficial at best. We both tried to get along with each other, if only for Elena's sake. I didn't begrudge her the friendship, though – Elena and I had such a long history together that I didn't have any reason to fear for it or to be jealous. Besides, she deserved every ounce of happiness that was to be found.

"You saw him?" Caroline interrupted my silent reverie and drew my attention back to the really important matters. "What does he look like? Do you think he's nice?"

"Well, he seemed nice enough, and he's definitively a looker. I figured he must be about our age, but he has an air about him – I don't know – he just seems way older."

"According to Alys, he's a senior," Elena noted. "Probably a smart kid that jumped classes. He'll be enrolling with the upcoming term. She knows him from when they both lived with another foster family somewhere up north. That was before Dr. Daniels took her in."

"Didn't Alys and he get along?"

"Why – I think they did. She seemed happy that he would come to live with them."

"I was just wondering – if they liked each other, then why did they make her change foster families at all? She came to Mystic Falls – what, about two years ago?"

"I don't know – maybe the family didn't want to be in the foster program anymore and they couldn't find a place where they both could stay at that time?"

"Yeah, maybe. Well, good for her that he's back, then."

Caroline smiled mischievously. "Good for us, too, if he's our age and good-looking! There are not to many decent and available guys around in Mystic Falls."

"Oh, come on – it's not that bad! There's Matt, and Joey, and Tyler... well, maybe not Tyler, he's good-looking but not exactly decent. Still, there's a lot of interesting guys around, you just have to give someone a chance."

"Matt was your boyfriend."

"Right – he was, past tense. Now we're just friends." In fact, Elena and Matt had been friends even before they had briefly started dating, shortly after she got back to Mystic Falls last summer. It seemed like the natural thing to do – Matt was a nice, gentle boy, well mannered and even-tempered, and he had an inborn desire to look after people. Exactly what Elena had needed. She said that she had so much wanted to be normal for once, just like everyone else. While Caroline had gone through at least three more or less serious relationships up to then, it had been Elena's first. It hadn't lasted long, though.

"You dumped him. It must have been for a reason."

"It wasn't his fault. I just wasn't ready for it."

"Seriously, Elena – when are you going to be ready?" Caroline shook her head. She just couldn't imagine that there was life without a man at your side. Again, I felt the need to jump to her aid, saving her from having to answer that. "Well, I am actually ready – with breakfast. Shall we get going?" Elena thanked me with a grateful smile. We all got up, back to our rooms and packed our belongings. Half an hour later, we were on our way home again.


	2. Lost Girls

ELENA

I knew it wasn't the most fitting thing to do before going to a party, but on late Friday morning, I went to the cemetery. Ever since I had come back to Mystic Falls, I came out here regularly, sat underneath the big willow near our family grave and wrote in my diary. I had never understood why so many people had an issue with cemeteries. It was the most peaceful place I could imagine. A place that remained mostly undisturbed from the hustle and bustle of every day life, almost unchanging, strangely out of time. And here I felt close to my family, even though I knew it was only their bodies lying here.

Even after four years, the tombstone of my parents seemed still fresh to me – especially in comparison to the one put up in memory of my brother, which was gray and mossy. I couldn't even remember his funeral clearly. But what stayed in my mind from then on was the constant, underlying pain that had never left us again after he was gone.

The years in Pennsylvania with Jenna and Jeremy had slowly pulled me out the dark black hole that I had fallen into after the second tragedy had hit. Coming back here when I started college last summer hadn't been so hard, either. I had picked up all the loose ends again, meeting with childhood acquaintances and renewing friendships, such as with Caroline, Bonnie and Matt. After three months of going out together with him though, we had both come to the conclusion that it wasn't going to work. There was friendship, yes, but nothing romantic.

I sometimes wondered if I was ever going to experience something like that at all. Even in Pennsylvania, there had never been anybody who interested me enough to start anything – which was a good thing, because there hadn't really been anybody signaling interest anyway. Most likely, my melancholy was scaring them off. Caroline often said that I seemed far too old for boys of my age to be attracted to me. What she meant was too serious, too somber, simply not fun to be with.

I guess she was right. No matter how much I tried to fit in, even participating in their activities and demonstrating interest, it never truly had worked out. The themes and topics seemed shallow to me, not really worthy to occupy oneself with, given that life was so short. But then, they hadn't been forced to come to that insight yet. It had been easier here – people knew me and my history, and as hard as it sometimes was to put up with their underlying pity, at least I didn't have to pretend to be someone I was not. That's why I wanted to come home every weekend, instead of staying in the dorm.

I sighed, not really knowing what had brought this heavy melancholy back that I had thought to have finally left behind. Maybe it was the gloomy atmosphere of the hotel that had somehow followed me here, the strange happenings of the night that had etched themselves into my memory. There was a strange sense of foreboding – like I knew something was about to change, turn my life upside down again soon. It was hard to shake off.

I decided that maybe the cemetery was not the best place to be given my current dark mood and got back to my feet. That's when I noted that something had indeed changed. It was not only that the sun had hidden itself behind clouds, that the wind had picked up pace and was whirling leaves and withered flower petals around. It felt as if death suddenly was a presence here – not the quiet, peaceful side of it, but the dark, lurking threat that came before. Out of the corner of my eyes I caught the glimpse of movement – a shadowy figure that was out of sight before I had clearly seen it. And then a crow flew up, shrieking, and an icy chill made my skin turn into goose flesh. My heart jumped into my throat, and all of a sudden I felt nothing but the urgent need to get out of there. I broke into a run, not looking back. In fact, I wasn't looking much at all, and that's why I tripped. My foot caught under the root of a big tree, making me fall down hard. I cursed, scrambling to get back on my feet, when suddenly a hand appeared out of nowhere.

"Are you okay?" My gaze flew up and met with a pair of dark eyes in the face of a darkly clad stranger. He was leaning over me, offering to help me up. Declining his outstretched hand, I pulled myself up and faced him. Wearing a slight look of embarrassment in his expression, he didn't look particularly threatening, yet I couldn't help wondering if it was a coincidence that he had suddenly appeared out of thin air.

"Have you been following me?" I asked suspiciously, frowning at him. My question obviously made him feel awkward. "Eh, no, I – I'm visiting. I have family here. I saw you fall..." His expression was only showing concern, making me realize that I was being paranoid and incredibly tactless.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... Just – there was this big, black bird back there, and it was all very Hitchcock for a second..." Realizing I was talking gibberish, I took a deep breath and decided to start anew, offering my hand after I had so impolitely refused his. "Hi. I'm Elena."

He accepted it with a kind smile. "I'm Stefan. Nice to meet you, Elena."

Stefan – that truly was an unusual name around here, one that I had heard only once before. "Then you must be Alys' foster-brother..." I correctly deduced, for he nodded at that. "She mentioned you. Nice to meet you, Stefan. Alys said you are going enroll in Greenville College, too?"

"Yes. I – had planned on that." He suddenly seemed to be getting uncomfortable, paling, if that was possible, given that he had the same light complexion as Alys. "Did you hurt yourself?" he asked, frowning.

His question took me by surprise. I hadn't realized until he mentioned it that there was in fact a throbbing pain at my ankle. "I don't know," I said, confused, and put my foot on a nearby bench to roll my jeans up. Indeed. I had scratched myself on falling, probably on a sharp stone. It wasn't too bad, just bleeding a little. "Oh – would you look at that..." I muttered, fishing for a tissue in my pocket. I half expected him to offer me one, as surely any good-mannered person would do in a situation like this. Except he wasn't. On looking up, I found that he wasn't there at all anymore. How very weird. He had disappeared, as unseen as when he had first come along. There was something uncanny about it. Unnerved, I rolled down my trousers again and headed for the exit.

*'*'*'*'*

Fortunately, the weather was still holding up for the evening. When Caroline and I arrived at the city park and the festival ground, there was already a crowd of people. We found Bonnie amidst a group of other old high-school acquaintances, among them Matt, Tyler and even Jeremy. I was surprised to see him there – despite being only one and a half year apart in age, we usually did not hang out together. Jeremy was in his last year of high school, but still stuck in puberty, according to Jenna. At the moment, he was in rebellion against Jenna, who, as a hard-working, single parent, had her hands full with getting her own life into grips.

In my opinion, Jeremy was just the average 17 year old who still had figure out who he was – or rather, who he wanted to be. The only reason for concern was that he seemed to be hanging around with the wrong kind of people lately, one of them being Vicky, Matt's elder sister. She was older than Jeremy by three years, which did not prevent him from having a strong crush on her. Vicky, despite playing around with him, did not really take him seriously, which only seemed to increase Jeremy's trouble.

Most likely, he had come to the party because of her. Vicky was not in college. She had been taking on a couple of jobs after high school, so undecided about what she wanted to do with herself that she hadn't stuck longer than half a year with any of them. I knew Matt was as concerned for her as I was for Jeremy, which – according to Bonnie – made us sound like a couple of worried parents, sometimes.

We didn't have much chance to discuss any of this today, though. Conversation was rather clipped, probably because of the alcohol everybody had been consuming. It soon got to a point where the general mood drifted from relaxed to exuberantly cheerful. There was a lot of silly banter and laughter, with the laughter more and more overtaking the talk. Besides, with the music being so loud, it was impossible to have a conversation at all – not that it was the time and place for conversation anyway. Given that everybody was holding a glass in their hands, I signaled Caroline and Bonnie that I was going to get a refill, and made out for the gazebo.

With the music numbing my ears, I hadn't been aware of someone coming up behind me. When all of a sudden I heard my name being called almost into my ear, it made me jump. Startled, I turned around and found myself looking into Stefan's contrite face. "I'm sorry! I did it again, didn't I?"

"Stefan – hi! No, it's okay – I was just surprised..." I stuttered, still slightly befuddled. "I hadn't expected to run into you here..." Which was stupid, as I realized immediately. If he was going to enroll in college and was living in Mystic Falls, it was completely legitimate for him to be attending this party. It was just that after the weird appearing and disappearing of him in the cemetery, a small piece of my mind wondered if he was real.

"Well, I'm usually not one to attend parties...", Stefan said, as if I had unknowingly come up with a truth.

"No, I'm sorry – I didn't mean to sound tactless."

"I'm the one who has to apologize for being tactless. I left you all by yourself in the cemetery... that was unforgivable. It's just that I..." He stopped, obviously not knowing if he should tell me.

"You get squeamish at the sight of blood?"

"I guess that's a way to put it..." His voice trailed off, probably because he felt embarrassed about it.

"Don't worry. I know the feeling. I'm usually a little squeamish about blood myself. Anyway, it wasn't bad. I made it home all right."

"I know. I was at your house, a little earlier, just to make sure and to apologize for leaving you like this, but you weren't in."

"We seem to be apologizing an awful lot to each other..."

He grinned. "Yes. Sorry for that!" he offered, and I smiled, appreciating his humor. He didn't seem to smile very much, but when he did, it made his face even more handsome. "The truth is," Stefan added, "that I hadn't come round just for that. I also I wanted to drop off a book that you must have forgotten at the cemetery. I found it close to your family grave, so I figured it must be yours... a green binding and cover that fastens with a magnetic clip?"

"My diary! I must have dropped it when I fell... Strange – I hadn't even realized that I had lost it! Thank you for bringing it back!"

"Well, actually, since that's what I thought it was, and given that you weren't in, I didn't know if it was okay to give it to your aunt, so I still have it. Don't worry, I didn't look into it."

"Well, thanks again, then. Most people would have..."

"I wouldn't want anybody to read mine."

"You're keeping a journal, too?" I looked at him with renewed interest. How unusual. Caroline had often said that the fact I was keeping a diary proved that I was basically an inward person. Maybe he was, too.

"I have been for a while. It's helping me not to forget – memories are important."

"Yes. Sometimes they're all there is."

"Alys has told me about your parents," Stefan said. "I'm really sorry." It actually sounded like he really was – not just like the polite thing to say. "I can only imagine how hard that must have been on you... how hard it still is."

I responded reflexively by saying what was asked for. "It was a long while ago."

"But you're still sad." It wasn't a question. He seemed matter-of-fact about it, which made me answer truthfully. "I am," I admitted. "But it's not something you normally say when people ask."

"Then what do you tell them?"

I shrugged. "That I'm fine." Again, his eyes seemed to look right through me. "Do you ever mean it?" he asked earnestly.

"Sometimes. But like I said – it's been five years. People expect you to get over it and move on. And for most of the time, that's what I've been doing. But no matter what they say about time healing all the wounds – it's not true. Some wounds never heal. People just don't want to know that."

"Yes. I know exactly what you mean." Somehow I knew that he really did. I looked at him with curiosity. There was something to him – I couldn't quite put my finger to it. A familiarity. As if he was a kindred spirit. Maybe he had suffered losses, too. That's why I found myself almost believing him when he quietly added: "You won't be sad forever, Elena." I smiled, grateful for his understanding and his attempt to offer comfort. Still, realizing that our conversation had become way too serious in light of the occasion and the shortness of our acquaintance, I was feeling slightly guilty. "Well, that's kind of heavy talk for a party..."

"I'm not usually good at party chit chat." Again, he replied with simple honesty, making it easy for me to admit to my own shortcomings in this area. "Neither am I. Caroline keeps reminding me of that."

"Caroline – your friend? The blond, cheery and attractive one?"

"That's her."

"And the dark haired one next to her is Bonnie, right?" Alys must have briefed him well. I wondered if he had asked for the information. "I met her at the library before."

"Yes, that's her. She's the best friend I could wish for! Do you want me to introduce you to my friends?"

"Maybe later. We'd be back to small talk, otherwise, and I was just getting comfortable without it... That is if you don't mind..."

"No, not at all. Would you like to walk a little bit? It's a little too loud and crowded here for my taste..."

"I'd love to." Stefan smiled. He had a nice smile, kind and honest. I was surprised how much I reacted to it.

"You know..." I said, as we wandered amiably down the less crowded paths of the festival ground towards the little bridge that spanned Mystic Creek, "you're all the talk in town."

"Am I?"

"Mhm. Mysterious new guy..."

"Mysterious... Why is that?"

"Well, simply because no one knows you or your family – which makes you a rarity in a place where almost everybody is related or at least befriended with each other from childhood. Nobody knows anything about you, like where you come from, what brought you here..." I leaned against the railing, looking into the black water below. The festival site was still visible, but a least, it was a little more quiet here.

"It's not very mysterious. I lived in Chicago, up to now. With distant relatives of Elijah, Dr. Daniels, I mean. I've been with them as long as I can remember – a nice couple, trying to their best to be surrogate parents."

"What about your real parents?"

"Something happened – that made it impossible for me to stay with them any longer." He obviously didn't want to go into details, so I didn't push it.

"Do you have siblings?"

"None that I've spoken to in years." He said that with regret, and I felt my heart go out to him. Here I was still grieving for the losses that I suffered, sometimes thinking why destiny had to be so unfair that I had to lose every one of my family. Yet I had forgotten that there were people who were far worse off than me. Never having had a family at all, never having felt loved or wanted as I had for half of my life. And even now, I there was Jenna, who was doing her best to make me feel at home – not really as a mother, but as a friend. And I was lucky to have Caroline and Bonnie. Friends became all the more important when there were no relatives left.

"But you have Alys..." I said, meaning to lessen the hurt. "She says you're like a brother to her."

"Yes. She has come to mean very much to me."

"You two have grown up together?"

"We've been living in the same foster family for almost 10 years – before she moved here, actually. Alys was less lucky than I have been so far. She had to change foster families a few times for various reasons, which is always difficult. We went to high school together, before she came to live with Dr. Daniels, four years ago. We've always been very close and stayed in contact ever since. Now that she's in college I figured it would be nice to be close to my sister again, and that's why I came here."

Stefan asked me what I was studying and we discussed our choice of subjects. We asked each other about our hobbies and interests, talked about favorite books, sports and the music we liked. We found that we had a lot in common. He even had read 'Wuthering Heights' which was one of my favorites, and that was not exactly a common bedside read.

Without noticing, we ended up talking for hours, until a furtive glance at my watch made me realize just how late it was. It's not that Jenna was very strict about our curfew, but I know that she wouldn't sleep until we were safely home, and now was a time she had reason to expect us back. I was getting a little tired myself, and my throat was hurting from all the talking. Not that I regretted it – it had been a most pleasurable evening and I had really enjoyed his company.

"I think I had better go back and see what became of Bonnie and Caroline..." I suggested, not really wanting to, but with a slightly guilty conscience. I definitively had neglected my friends pitifully this evening.

"You're right. They'll be wondering what happened to you." We headed back to the center of the party, where the music was still playing loudly. The dance floor had thinned out slightly, but not enough to call it an evening.

"It doesn't look like we missed anything..." I said, almost feeling as if I had come back from some timeless alternate universe.

"I know for sure that I haven't missed anything", Stefan agreed, smiling again. "On the contrary: I very much enjoyed this evening. Are you going to be in tomorrow? I still need to return the diary – I could come by your place and drop it off..."

"Actually, I was going to see Alys in the morning, anyway – that would save you the trouble of coming by."

"It wouldn't be trouble at all. I won't be in until much later, though – I promised Elijah to run some errands for him. But I suppose I could leave the journal in my room so Alys can give it to you." The prospect of not seeing him again tomorrow actually displeased me.

"You know what – I was going to try to get Alys to join us for the evening. On Saturdays, we always meet some friends at the Grill. Why don't you come along, later on? I haven't had a chance to introduce you to my friends yet, and they'll all be there, too."

"I'm not sure when I'll be back, but if I am, I'd very much like to."

"At eight, then. I hope you can make it. I'll give you my cell phone number, just in case. Do you have your phone so you can punch it in?"

"Sure." We exchanged numbers, and said goodbye. "Tomorrow at eight, then. I'll be looking forward to it."

Right after he had left, I went searching for Caroline and Bonnie. I felt a little giddy about the turn of events, and was really looking forward to seeing Stefan again. Caroline would have a ball.

It took a while before I found at least Bonnie near the pavilion. She was in the company of some other girls from our old school. Matt, Tyler and Jeremy were there, too.

"Elena!" she greeted me with relief. "Where have you been? I was starting to get worried..."

"Wandering around, mostly. I met Alys brother – we tried to be where the music isn't quite as loud."

"Stefan?" she asked with a small frown. "I haven't even seen him here..."

"Yes. You were right - he's really nice. We had a good time. What about you?"

"Perfect! I think I had a little too much to drink, though. Are you going to sit down with us?"

"Actually, I was getting ready to go home. I'm starting to get tired. Where did Caroline take off to?"

Bonnie briefly looked around, shrugging. "I don't know. She was over there a while ago – talking to some attractive, dark haired guy and apparently having lots of fun. Maybe they went dancing."

"I'll see if I can find her. Unknown, attractive guy, hm? I Hope she doesn't do anything stupid..."

"At least she's never been one to regret any of her stupidities. I'll be waiting for you two over at the buffet. Come by again before you head home, okay?"

"Okay." I left Bonnie and started to tour the premises again, searching for Caroline's golden head in the crowd. When I thought I had caught a glimpse of her, it was over on the opposite site of the festival ground, just disappearing around the corner of the antiques shop towards the less frequented area of the park. Quickly, I pushed my way through the middle of the people, trying to catch up. When I reached the cabin, I couldn't see her anymore.

The park was swallowed up in darkness, even more so since the area behind me was lit by so many light chains and lampoons. I hesitated. Most likely, Caroline had not strolled off into the park all by herself and might not appreciate my coming after her.

I was still lingering undecided when I thought I heard her cry out. It wasn't a loud scream, more a startled gasp that carried a moment of panic in it. It was hushed immediately. Without thinking, I ran towards the source of it. Had I given it some thought, I might have called Matt and Tyler first. But here I was, running all by myself to the rescue of my friend from a possible rapist. The stupidity of that only hit me when I saw them.

He was standing behind her, holding her in his grip, his face hidden in the hollow of her neck. Caroline's head was bent to the side, her eyes closed. She wasn't moving at all. There was something very dark and threatening about the whole scene, something sinister that escaped words. All of a sudden, there was a loud, animalistic scream and with it, a huge, black crow flew up from the tree on my right. I flinched and ducked as it crossed my head and disappeared into the darkness. When I turned my eyes back to Caroline, the guy was gone, too.

Caroline readjusted her slightly disheveled neckline and looked at me with a reproachful scorn. "Now, what was that for, sneaking up on us like that? You scared him away!"

"Scared him away?" I repeated, dumbfounded. "Goodness, Caroline, I was almost scared to death when I saw you both... I thought he was attacking you!"

"Just why would you think that? We were kissing, for heaven's sake, as if you'd never seen that before!"

"I heard you cry out."

"I did not cry out! Well, if I did, it sure wasn't because I was under attack! God, this guy was so unbelievably hot... You should've seen his eyes... I wasn't able to even look away from them."

"Just looking at the top of his head scared the hell out of me. Who was he?"

"He never gave me his name... although he sure must have!" Caroline wrinkled her forehead in bemusement. "Maybe I've forgotten..."

"Caroline!" I exclaimed, aghast. "You don't even know the guy's name and yet you walk alone with him for a tryst in the park? Are you out of your mind?"

She sighed. "Admittedly, I was. A little. He was so gorgeous... good looking, charming, very witty. I wish I knew his name, though. How am I ever going to find him now?"

"Well, he can't have been so scared of me that he ran all the way home, now, can he? He probably went back to the party and is waiting for you."

"You're right. Let's go back and find him." Caroline took my arm and, with a determined look, steered us back to the festival grounds. I still tried to figure out what exactly had happened a minute ago. The situation I had just witnessed had an eerie feeling to it – a lot like this afternoon at the cemetery. With a frown, I remembered the bird that had scared me then. It had looked a lot like the one I had just seen now – a crow. Or was it a raven? Just like the bird that had flown into my room at the hotel, two nights ago. What was wrong with those birds that they suddenly seemed to appear everywhere around me? A shiver went down my back. Hitchcock, indeed.

I was immensely relieved that Caroline failed to find the mysterious guy that had vanished so suddenly, although it made her even more sullen than she had been. She kept on endlessly lamenting about my interference, not in the least perturbed by his obviously erratic behavior. I was. It was the second time that someone had mysteriously disappeared from my sight before I had been able to get a glimpse of him – and that was not counting Stefan's sudden disappearance on the cemetery, which at least had been explained.

Trying to mollify Caroline by staying for another hour – just in case he showed up again – I sat down with Bonnie and Matt, without partaking in their amiable chatter. I was too occupied with thinking of Stefan, of crows and the nebulous threat that I felt forming like a dark cloud on the horizon. Something was brewing, and I had no idea what to protect myself from.


	3. The Return

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few words on Alys: For her, I had Anna in mind, the 'cute stalker chick' Jeremy falls in love with. Given that Alys isn't a stalker chick kind of girl at all and has a different background (although she shares a history with Damon), and also because she also represents certain aspects of Lexi, who had this really strong relationship with Stefan and a strained one with Damon, it felt more fitting to rename her. You might want to see her as an Anna/Lexi fuse, although that's not entirely fitting, either. In truth, she takes over the role of yet another TVD person in this story... I guess you'll see!

ALYS

Feeling restless and wrought-up for no apparent reason, I stood at the balcony and stared into the dark. The starlit sky was clear and peaceful, reassuring in its consistency. Yet I couldn't help thinking that soon, its perpetual serenity would be disturbed by a recurring visitor – a comet that had last traveled these skies exactly 150 years ago. It couldn't be long in making is appearance now, maybe in a month or two? I hadn't been paying attention. In earlier times, people had believed them to be harbingers of evil. Though knowing now that it was just a huge mass of ice and dust trapped in its own, eternal path, I couldn't help wondering if was going to bring back evil to Mystic Falls.

I briefly wondered why I should be entertaining these dark thoughts just now. I had every reason to be happy. I liked living with Elijah. He was a man of principles, kind and understanding. I liked the house we lived in, a typical American two-storey wood building on the edge of Mystic Falls. Although there wasn't really any resemblance to it at all, it reminded me of my home back in South Carolina. I even liked this sleepy town of Mystic Falls, where I had managed to find people whose company was not only bearable, but truly enjoyable. And then Stefan had returned, whom I had dearly missed in the two years that we had been separated. Though not my brother in blood, he was the brother of my heart, and it was so good to have him near me again.

When Stefan had asked me earlier on if I wanted to accompany him to the spring break party, I had seriously considered going – for a second. Usually, I didn't go to any place where people crowded together, but with him at my side, there would have been nothing to be afraid of, he would have made sure that I was safe. Yet in the end, I had backpedaled. It was hard to break long established behavior patterns, and I had been alone way too long to feel secure with people around me.

It was hard enough in college. On learning that the secretary had seriously messed up with my request for a single room, I had thought about skipping the first semester altogether and starting over next year. I could not imagine how that would work out – me, crowded together with another girl in the same tiny room without any privacy – impossible. Luckily, I had been paired with Elena, and not with her psychic friend Bonnie, who shared the room next to us with Caroline. I tried to get out of her way as much as possible. Poor Bonnie. She couldn't understand my need for distance, especially with her. Most likely, she thought I was a total freak. Maybe I was.

Having Elena as my roommate was an incredibly big piece of good luck in the great misfortune of the circumstances. I hadn't known her before, given that she had moved back to Mystic Falls only shortly before the start of term. But I immediately liked her. She seemed much older than her years . There was a sadness about her, a quiet composure and the same need to build walls around her that I had always felt myself. She never pushed subjects that I didn't want to talk about, and if she thought that my behavior was sometimes eccentric, she respected that, too. It was surprisingly easy and comfortable to be around her.

Given that trust and respect played a major part in our relationship from the beginning, it was not surprising that we had soon become friends. Not like she and Bonnie – it was hard to imagine that anyone or anything could ever come between those two. But for me, it was the first time in years that I opened up to someone again. It felt good to have a friend. Almost normal.

And now Stefan was back, too. For about a week, I had been elated, believing that I could have a life, have a future again. Until tonight.

I knew something was wrong as soon as I stepped back into my room. I felt a presence, and my heart sank on realizing it was familiar to me.

"Hello, Alys!"

Disbelieving my eyes I stared at the black clad figure that stood half hidden in the darkness of my room. "Damon!" I gasped, shocked, stupefied. He surely was the last person in the world I had expected to see, after all this time. The very last person I cared to see at all. "What are you doing here?"

He gave me a hurt look that was as false as everything about him – the casualness, the joviality, the charm – and stepped out of the shadows. "What do you think – I'm visiting."

"Turning up out of the blue after ten years, without invitation or previous notice is not visiting!" Especially not if there hadn't been any contact at all – not even so much as a Christmas card. Why here? Why now? Could it be that there really was a curse on this sleepy, innocent town?

He frowned. "You could be could be a little more welcoming than that! You know, say something like: How nice to see you again! You haven't changed much. Your hair is different. I like it, by the way!"

"What do you want, Damon? What brought you here, all of a sudden?"

"Well, I thought it was about time for me to come back and look after you again."

I had to snort at that. "To haunt me, more likely."

"How rude of you to say that!" Again, Damon gave himself an air of vulnerability.

"You can't keep hating me forever, Alys." No, probably not. Or could I?

"Only for as long as I'm still suffering from what you did to me, and there's no way of telling how long that's still gonna be. You ruined my life, Damon. I'm never going to forgive you that."

"Ruined your life, did I? Ah, that's a little melodramatic. Don't be so resentful. It's not healthy to bear a grudge – it gives you wrinkles and makes you look old."

I sighed again. It was useless to try to outwit him in a verbal duel. It never worked. He was too smart and fast for that, too trained in the art of witty evasion.

"Why did you come back, Damon?" I tried again, putting the irony aside and looking at him dead serious.

"Funny question! You're my family... or at least, what's still left of it."

I shook my head, trying not to let tears wet my eyes. We had been a family, once. But that was more than a lifetime ago. Until he tore it apart. "Don't pretend it means anything to you. It didn't back then. Why should it now?" And why should I ever expect him to answer that in earnest? Damon took his time, casually striding through my room, inspecting it, as if all the odds and ends in there would tell him what had become of me since we had last met. "Well, you do get awfully lonely after a while. I missed my little sister."

Not knowing Damon, you could almost believe his soft-spoken words. I didn't. Not anymore. Poorly concealing my bitterness behind irony, I snorted. "Yeah. Very likely so!"

"The truth is, I came to realize that I was a little too inattentive in my responsibility towards you. You could need a little – variety of influence."

"Thank you, but I have all the influence I care for. And I definitively don't need your attention!" I didn't want any of it. It was going to destroy everything I had come to cherish.

"I think you do! Look at you... do you ever go out in plain daylight? Probably not... Tell me: When was the last time you had something decent to eat, hm? Something that didn't come packed in bags and frozen? See! You're not living healthily." Having made his point, he dropped down on my bed, playfully manhandling my favorite stuffed animal while observing me through half-closed lids. "Talking of the people you surround yourself with: Now, who's that boring dude that took up residence with you here? Your boyfriend?"

"No," I answered defensively. "Just another foster son of Elijah's." I sighed, mentally preparing myself for further unfriendly analysis of Stefan that Damon was sure going to deliver. I didn't have to wait long.

"He seems so – I don't know how to put it... It's like he ate something that didn't become him. Kind of depressive. Doesn't he ever smile?"

"Stefan is a very nice guy. I shared residence with him in Chicago, some years ago. He's like the brother I never had." Maybe the last remark was unnecessarily rude. But something in him always provoked me to say things that I normally wouldn't have said. Maybe it was an unconscious attempt to provoke some human reaction from him, even if it was hurt or anger. But all I ever got was irony or cynicism.

"Probably a bunny-lover, too, hm?" Damon ventured, his voice full of disdain. "I bet the three of you make one happy family..."

"You've got that right! And don't you dare to ruin it for me. I have a home, Damon. I even have friends – something you can't even imagine."

"Maybe I could..." He looked thoughtful, as if really considering it. "Trying to live like a normal, living person. Growing roots. Getting settled... Making new experiences. Maybe even go on a diet, for a while. Just nothing with feathers!" He shuddered. I remembered that he had always despised poultry, even when still a boy. Some things apparently never changed.

"You hate small towns. They're boring, there's nothing for you to do!" Another thing that wouldn't change in a hundred years. Damon was no small town boy. Off and away he had always been, looking for constantly changing amusements and challenges.

"I'll manage to keep myself busy. I could enroll in college again. Has been a while. Maybe history this time – I'm pretty good at history. Leaves more time for other things..."

"You mean to pose as a student? Aren't you just a little too old for that?"

He shrugged. "I'm flexible, I can adapt. Though I must admit I had thought about trying to pass myself as a teacher..."

"Yes, I can imagine that you would enjoy that immensely!"

"It'd be fun. It's just that as a teacher, you're just not supposed to get involved with students, which would not suit my purposes. I'd be sure to compromise myself."

"So you're seriously thinking of staying here? For how long?"

Damon gave me a speculative glance. "For as long as it takes."

"As long as what takes?"

He raised his eyebrow. "For my secret master plan to be put into motion", he said cryptically. Okay, now we were getting to the heart of the matter. It wasn't for me that he had come back. There was something else. Was it just a coincidence that he appeared just now, like the comet in the sky? Definitively a bad omen!

I couldn't help myself. "What are you up to?" I asked another, entirely useless question, probably sounding desperate by now. Exactly like he wanted me to.

"It wouldn't be secret anymore if I told you now, would it?" he retorted smugly. "Well, I suppose I could give you a hint, though: It has do to with the truly enlightening message that reached me just recently..." As intended, that piqued my interest. "Sent by who?"

"By you, actually! Though I don't think you did it on purpose..."

"I didn't send you a message." I frowned, puzzled. "I wouldn't even have known where to send it to, given that you never enlightened me as to where you went after you left London."

"Where should I have gone to, Alys? Home, of course."

"Home?" I echoed foolishly. Our original home had been a plantation in South Carolina. But that was ages ago. Damon had never gone back there after – everything.

"Our dear ancestors' mansion. Someone had to take care of it after the death of – let's call him 'Uncle' – Zach."

Damon had been home recently? I refused to accept the consequences this assertion suggested, hoping for a misunderstanding. "But I thought you were somewhere in Europe..."

"I was – for a while. When I learned Zach had passed on I came back – only to find out that everything had been put up for sale. Shame on you! How could you let that happen?"

"What could I have done? He left no living relatives, remember? Besides, I think it's time we let go of the past and move on, don't you think?"

"No-o!" Damon said, stretching the word. "After all, it has a lot of memories in it. It belongs to us."

"What do you want with it?" I asked, exasperated. "It's a huge house on huge grounds – we're not farmers anymore, for heaven's sake!"

"I know!" Again, that inscrutable wink. "That's why I bought it and decided to do something else with it."

"You bought it?" I echoed, stunned. "I don't get it. Who did you buy it from and when? The last thing I heard was that it had been made into a hotel, and that was pretty recently..."

"A little over a year ago."

"You did that? You were the one to buy it and make a hotel out of it?" As the pieces fell together, my legs gave in and I had to sit down. "Oh my god! You were there!"

"M-hm." Damon confirmed with a smile, looking smug.

"What have you done to my friends?"

"Nothing that should have them worry. I was too freaked out when I stumbled across the little dark haired one."

"Elena?" I asked, truly alarmed by now. "What do you mean?"

"Did you never notice whom she resembles? Well no, you wouldn't know... that was before your time."

"Who are you talking about?"

"Katherine. She looks just like her. It quite shocked me when I saw her face."

"God, Damon, I swear, if you harmed her in any way..."

"Unfortunately, I didn't get to doing anything with her that night. But I'm hoping for a chance to make up for that..."

"Damon, no! You leave her alone! Not Elena! She's been through enough already."

"Are you just putting me into the same category of traumas and catastrophes as the death of her brother and her beloved parents?"

"You know about that?"

"I made some enquiries. And I can't wait to find out more."

"You came here because of her! I don't understand – what could she be to you?"

"Well, that's for me to know and for you to dot dot dot..." He smiled, like a cat with a pot of cream.

"Please, Damon! Can't you at least try to act like a human being, for a change?"

"I'm afraid I can't – for obvious reasons! Now, come on, lighten up! We'll have fun, I promise!" He got up from the bed and headed for the door.

"Usually, when you say something like that, it's for you to have the fun and others to have the damage", I muttered, knowing how bitter I must sound.

The doorknob already in his grip, he turned. "You know what your problem is?" he asked, wrinkling his forehead.

"Beside having a psychopathic, obsessive brother, you mean?"

"You won't consider people for what they really are."

"Which is?"

Damon lowered his voice, his eyes and his tone gloomy. "Prey!" he said and, with another meaningful wink, left my room.

ELENA

Given that the night had been unexpectedly long, I slept in the next morning. We had planned on meeting at Caroline's and having breakfast together, before I went to see Alys at her house in the afternoon. I was secretly hoping that Stefan would be back from his errand by then, or if not, that I would get Alys to come and bring him along in the evening.

As I had guessed, Caroline had been thrilled to learn about my 'conquest' as she put it, although there was an undertone of envy to her reaction. That I should meet with a boy after having driven away hers seemed unfair to her. It was useless to point out again that I had done nothing to provoke such a weird reaction from the guy. She didn't like that I called him a weirdo, either.

"You have no right to lecture me, you know..." she said, while we were making coffee and laying the table. "After all, you did about the same thing – inviting a guy out barely after having met him... He might be a jerk just as well."

"It's not the same at all," I protested. "Firstly, I know his name, secondly a trusted person has vouched for him and thirdly, inviting him to a crowded place with a group of friends does not equal taking off into the woods with a stranger."

Before Caroline could say anything in response to that, Bonnie came in, a newspaper in her hand. She looked troubled. "Have you two heard what happened last night?" she asked, sitting down at the table and putting the newspaper down in front of her. I had no idea what she was talking about. "What do you mean?"

"Vicky Donovan – she got attacked. They don't know what it was, presumably some kind of wild animal."

"Oh my god!" I sank into the chair next to her, staring at her in disbelief. "Is she badly hurt?"

"She lost a lot of blood and was totally freaked out. She is still in hospital, but I guess that's also because she was pumped with alcohol and some other shit."

"How do you know?" Caroline asked, equally shocked. Presumably, that just put a different perspective on her little venture.

"Matt told me. I met him on my way here. He was just about to head over to the hospital to bring her some stuff."

"So that's the business Mom had to take care of urgently this morning..." Caroline exclaimed. "She wouldn't tell me why she was so worried when she left." Liz, Caroline's mother, was the local sheriff. "How terrible! Matt must be out of his mind. Is Vicky going to be okay?"

"From what I know, her state wasn't critical. They just keep her under surveillance, presumably because she is still in shock."

"I would be, too, if I got attacked by something out of the woods," I said, shuddering. "How could that have happened – a wild animal attack in the park? And nobody noticed?"

"Well, from what I heard, she had ventured off the party grounds into the nearby woods." The towns park with the festival grounds bordered the woods, but this was not some remote Rocky mountain village. "Still, an animal attack... Just how likely is that?"

"Actually, there have been some reported cases over the years," Caroline said, pouring each of us a cup of coffee and setting it in front of us. "About 20 years ago, Marianna Lockwood, Tyler's aunt, even got killed by some wildcat. And there have been attacks on hikers every now and then. Probably it's just one single animal that is venturing about."

"God, just thinking about it gives me the creeps! See what could've happened to you yesterday night, Caroline!"

"I wasn't all by myself, neither did I take off into the woods."

Bonnie frowned. "What are you two talking about?"

"Caroline met some mysterious guy at the party and took off with him. I ran after her when I thought I had heard her scream."

"I did not scream! We were just – kissing. And then Elena came barging in on us and drove him off. I don't even know his name."

Bonnie appeared shocked. "You let yourself be kissed without even knowing the guy's name? How nuts is that?"

Caroline sighed. "I know. It was a little unthoughtful. I've never felt like that before... he was so incredibly hot, and charming... You should have seen his eyes!" Her own eyes got a dreamy shine, and she sighed again, more deeply this time. Bonnie raised a questioning brow at me, clearly doubting Caroline's sanity. I shrugged and threw her a silent you-know-Caroline glance, while she resumed her mourning. "And now I'm most likely not gonna see him ever again. I wish with you being psychic and such, you could just conjure his name and his phone number..."

"Well, maybe I could..." Bonnie tentatively offered, exchanging another questioning glance with me. Caroline's head flew up. "Really? You could? Have a try!"

"Yes, please!" I supported Caroline's plea. "If you came up with that, she might eventually forgive me for scaring the poor guy off!"

"I would need something of his to concentrate on – something that belongs to him or that he has touched..."

Caroline smiled impishly. "Well, he touched me!"

"I'm afraid that's not gonna work, since there have been quite a few people who have – no pun intended! I need something more specific than that, something more personal."

"I'm sorry, I forgot to pull some of his hair out when we were kissing. My fault!"

Bonnie gave a regretful shrug. "I'm afraid I cannot help you, then. But look at it this way: If the guy is meant for you, he'll surely show up again."

"Well, I hope you're right. Otherwise, I'll have to think of some evil scheme to pay Elena back. Talking about you..." Caroline fixated me with her eyes and smirked. "Time to fess up, girl: You and Stefan just talked all night?" she enquired, not at all trying to appear less nosey or hopeful for some juicy news. "There was no sloppy first kiss nor touchy-feely of any kind?"

"No, we didn't go there."

"Elena we are your friends. You are supposed to share this with us!"

"I do! It's like I said: We just talked for hours, which was really – special."

"I don't get it! What's wrong with you? It's easy: boy likes girl, girl likes boy, sex. Don't always make it so complicated!"

"I'm not! Making it complicated, I mean. After all, I tried the whole thing with Matt, remember? It simply didn't work."

"That's because Matt is awfully boring. You should try someone exciting, like..."

"Like the guy from last night, I got it! Besides, Matt is not boring – he's responsible and caring. Maybe you should try someone like him for a change, instead of always falling for the all attractive bad guy who in the end always treats you like shit. Talking about Matt, I think I'm gonna run. I'll go and check on him before driving over to Alys' place and hear how Vicky is doing."

"Good idea. Tell him we're sorry about what happened. If there is anything we can do to help..."

"I'll let him know. See you tonight?"

"At eight at the grill!"

*'*'*'*'*

Matt's family lived in a somewhat rundown neighborhood of Mystic Falls. His was another broken family – his dad having run off long before Matt could remember, his mother being an over-taxed single mom who switched her boyfriends as often as others changed their underwear. She had long ago quit to be of any support to her children, which was probably why Matt had taken on responsibility for his sister.

Not only did I admire him for that, but also for the fact that he would not let himself be dragged down. He had been working hard in school to get good grades, and now he was equally hard-working to save money for college, while at the same time helping to sustain his family.

Just when I stopped my car in front of his house, Matt's truck pulled into the driveway. As it turned out, he was just coming back from the hospital. He looked in truly bad shape, as if he hadn't slept the entire night. Which probably was exactly the case. I put my arms around him and held him tightly for a second.

"I heard about Vicky. I'm so sorry, Matt! How is she doing?"

"She'll be okay. It's not the wound that is bothering her doctors so much. According to what they found, she was pumped with alcohol and some really serious shit. God knows where she got it from. It was probably not for the worst that she got a lot of it out of her system with the blood loss."

"Did she say what kind of animal attacked her?"

"That's the weirdest thing. She said it was a vampire."

"What?"

"Yes. She briefly came round, muttered 'vampire' and passed out again. She must have been having some really bad hallucinations from the drug cocktail she took."

"How long will they keep her in hospital?"

"Probably another couple of days. They want to make sure she doesn't develop an infection. They highly recommended to send her into therapy, after that."

"Because of the trauma? Or do they believe her to be nuts because of the vampire thing?"

"Mostly in order to cope with her drug problem, but probably also for those reasons. It wasn't the first time she took something stronger than alcohol. I found some strange pills in her room that definitively weren't prescription."

"So maybe that therapy could turn out to be a good thing for her. It could be a chance to turn her life around."

"Yes, if she'd agree to take it." He sighed. I touched his arm, wishing I could offer some comfort. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, but thank you, Elena. It helps to have someone to talk to, and I truly appreciate that you still care."

"Of course I do. You're my friend. Just let me know if there anything you need, okay?"

"I will. At the moment, all I desperately need is some sleep. Sorry if I don't ask you in."

"No, that's quiet okay, don't worry. I'll be off."

"Take care!" I gave him a brief hug and watched him vanish into the house. Poor Matt. As if he hadn't enough on his mind already.

Still somewhat preoccupied I drove over to Dr. Daniels's house, which was on the other side of town, almost on the outskirts. It was also bordering the forest, which made me a little uneasy today. Fortunately, the driveway went up right to the entrance.

It was almost four and due to my stopover at Matt's, I was running a little late. Alys didn't seem to mind. She accepted my apology without really listening to it. She seemed preoccupied, too, even more brooding than usual. We went up to her room for privacy.

Out of politeness, she enquired about the party, but she clearly had her mind set on something else entirely. I asked her if everything was okay, but she evaded an answer. "It's nothing – I'm just having some family issues."

That didn't sound good. Did she have a fight with Elijah? Or was she referring to her real family – the one she never mentioned? "Do you want to talk about it?" I inquired hesitatingly. Probably she wouldn't, but it seemed like the right thing to offer.

"Not yet. I'm still hoping for them to pass."

Whatever was worrying her, it was most likely something I wouldn't be able to help her with. I just hoped it hadn't anything to do with Stefan. "I met your brother, yesterday..." I told her, reluctantly.

"What?" That actually seemed to shock her. I looked at her quizzically, wondering what was wrong. "Well, Stefan was at the spring break party, that's where we ran into each other. We talked like forever. You were right: I really like him."

"Oh, I see." Alys said, relaxing. "Okay. I was just... surprised that he had gone there."

"So was I. Technically, I had run into him at the cemetery before that, but that was a rather brief encounter. I lost my diary, and he found it."

"Yes, he told me about it, yesterday afternoon. He wanted to drop it off at your place."

"I wasn't in. He said he would leave it with you, for me to pick it up this morning."

Alys frowned. "Funny, Stefan never mentioned anything to me. He left home early this morning. Probably he meant to leave a note and forgot."

"Don't worry – I've asked him to come to the Grill tonight, and he said that he would. He can give it to me then."

"You asked him on a date?"

"It's not exactly a date, though I guess I wouldn't mind that, either. He's seems a really nice guy. He's easy to talk to."

"Sounds like you two had a great evening."

"We did. Just that it had come to a very unpleasant ending, without us noticing."

"What do you mean?"

I was just about to tell her about the attack on Vicky, when the door to her room was suddenly yanked open and some guy, seemingly oblivious to our presence, dropped in. His sudden appearance made me jump.

"Oops. Sorry for bursting in like that!" he said. "I didn't know you had a guest..."

Alys didn't react warmly to the offered apology, but returned his boyish smile with an icy expression. "You do now", she simply said, glaring at him, wordlessly telling him to leave.

Clearly taken aback by her hostility he frowned at her, then turned his gaze on me. "Aren't you going to introduce us?" he inquired, smiling again. It was hard to judge his age. I thought him to be somewhere in his mid-twenties. I also realized he was strikingly handsome. Alys remained in her rigid pose. "No, actually, I'd prefer not to."

"How very rude of you," he chided. "Well, I guess I'll have to do it myself, then." He came in, offering his hand. "Hi. I'm Damon."

"Elena," I automatically retorted, accepting it. I wasn't able to say anything else. He had the most unusual eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Elena!" he said brightly, then briefly paused. "You look familiar. Have we met before?

"I don't think so..."

"Ah, well – you'd probably remember if we had..." Most likely I would. He sure looked memorable.

"Damon!" For some unfathomable reason, Alys was seriously pissed. He looked back to her innocently. "Alys?"

"Close the door again. From outside!"

"Sure. One more thing, though, just so we can plan... is your friend staying for lunch?" The question, spoken with a smile, seemed fairly inoffensive to me. Yet Alys looked at him as if she wanted to scratch his eyes out. Whatever her concerns, having lunch at Dr. Daniels's house was obviously a no-go to her. Since she seemed too vexed to even answer that, I did, feeling embarrassed. "Oh, no, actually, I'm not. We'll be going out later."

"Ah, what a pity!" he exclaimed, sounding truly regretful. "Well, ladies – have fun then!" With a wink, Damon drew back and closed the door as Alys had asked. She took a deep breath, looking upset.

"Just who was that?" I asked, still trying to figure out what just had happened.

"My wayward brother, Damon."

I was puzzled. So far, I hadn't even known Dr. Daniels had added yet another member to his patchwork family. The term 'foster-child' didn't seem to fit in this context. He looked definitively too adult to be in need of parental supervision. "Another foster brother, you mean?" I asked, just to make sure I had understood her correctly.

"No. Unfortunately, we're blood-related. Damon is my real brother. He's been away for a couple of years – in Europe, for all I know. I haven't heard from him in a while."

"Doesn't sound like the two of you had a close relationship..."

"I don't think anyone could have a close relationship with Damon. He's arrogant, cynical and extremely annoying. Besides, I don't agree with his lifestyle, and neither does he agree with mine." Whatever that meant. I wasn't going to inquire.

"So – is he going to stay with Dr. Daniels as well?"

"Hell, no! They don't get along at all. I think he wants to rent some place near college."

"Is he enrolling, too?" He seemed too old to be a student, but neither did he have the air of a teacher. Maybe he was doing his post-doc, or something.

"He didn't care to enlighten me as far as his plans are concerned," Alys said, sourly. "One thing's for sure, though: He does have a plan. He always has."

So Damon was most likely the family issue that Alys had hoped would be only passing. "Since when is he back?" I asked, still trying to make sense of all the implications she had made.

"He turned up last night – all out of the blue – or rather out of the dark. I thought you had run into him accidentally when you said you had met my brother..."

Okay – that explained why she had been so startled when I mentioned it. Though her reaction seemed a little exaggerated to me. He had been reasonably polite. But then, what did I know?

"I'm sorry for his intrusion. You were just about to tell me something about yesterday night – something about the evening ending badly... What happened?"

I told her about the attack, and Alys paled. In fact, she looked totally horror stricken, and I felt the need to alleviate the impact my news had on her. "She's going to be okay," I assured. "I spoke to Matt just before getting here, and it looks like they might let her out soon." I decided to leave out the vampire part, which – apart from only serving to humiliate Vicky – would probably freak Alys out even more. At least, I had the distinct feeling that she wouldn't think of it as even remotely funny. "Well, given that we all could use some diversion: Is there really no way I can persuade you to make an exception and go out with us tonight?"

"Thanks for asking, Elena, but no. I'm definitively not in the mood for that. But next time for sure, okay?"

ALYS

I was more shaken than I cared for Elena to know. Right after she left, I stormed into the guest room that Damon occupied, almost knocking out the door with the fury I felt.

"Hey – what are you doing?" he said, not even looking up from the book he'd been reading. His voice sounded slightly bored. "If you want to get back on me for barging in on you, keep in mind that it's Elijah's house that you're bringing down in the process!"

I was not in the mood for a battle of wits. "The girl in the park yesterday, Vicky... tell me that it wasn't you!" That caught his attention. He looked up questioningly, yet unalarmed. "Well, I presume I could, but would you believe it?"

"I won't believe for a second that it was an animal attack. What a coincidence – the first night you show up here, and a girl is having her throat ripped out!"

"I did not rip her throat out!"

"It was you who attacked her!" I shouted at him, frustrated, upset and bitterly disillusioned. "I can't believe you did that! How could you, Damon?"

He snapped his book shut. "Don't look at me with those judgy little eyes! It wasn't my fault that it turned out like that!"

"Damon! You assaulted her!"

"Well, yes, but what did she expect? At her age, girls should know better than to follow strangers into the woods."

"She probably did not expect to have her throat torn out!"

He frowned. "Should I have raped her instead?"

I chose to ignore his usual sarcasm. "At least you could have prevented her from almost bleeding to death!" Exasperated, Damon put the book down. "That's been my intention before she ran away screaming! How was I to know that she'd been messing around with drugs? Added to that, she had so much alcohol in her system that I'm still having a hangover! At the crucial moment, I was a little beside myself. Unfortunately, drugs do have strange effects on any attempt to alter memories."

I fixated my gaze on him. "You have to go to the hospital and take care of it," I told him, trying to sound stern.

"Na," he said, playing it down. "Don't worry. She's a lunatic. Nobody will believe her if she spills."

"Damon! It's her I'm concerned about!"

Some of his pungent sarcasm crept back into his voice. "Well, then I suggest you go and do something about it."

"You know perfectly well that I'm not good at picking people's brains."

He curled his lips. "That's because of your pathetic diet. You know it makes you mentally weak. Besides, if you want to influence people, you have to be convincing – meaning, you have to really want what you're doing."

"Damon, I can't, you know that!" I was beginning to feel desperate. "Someone has to help her – she's probably out of her mind with fear because of what you did."

"You confuse me for someone with remorse! Go and ask your little surrogate brother. I'm sure he'll jump in." He picked up his book again and gestured me out of the room with a twitch of his head.

I probably would have cried if I still had tears to spill. Up to now I had hoped that some part of the brother I had known was still buried deep inside the man he had become. But there was nothing human left in him, no feeling, no compassion. He would bring death and destruction into the small, sane world that I had managed to create for myself. And I had no idea how to stop him.


	4. Heart of Darkness

BONNIE

When Elena told me that she had invited Stefan to the Grill that evening, I had mixed feelings about it. I remembered our short meeting in the library: Something about him had stirred my interest, and I might have poorly hidden it. But now Elena had staked her claim, and that might make the whole meet-my-new-boyfriend thing a little weird.

On the other hand, I probably shouldn't be jumping to conclusions. They had met only the night before and spent a couple of hours together, so it might be a little early to be talking about a relationship. But Stefan had obviously struck a chord in her. Admittedly, he had done the same in me.

It had been such a vague, fleeting emotion that I had trouble defining it. There had been a weird kind of deja-vu feeling, but without triggering any memories. I had absolutely no idea what to expect out of this meeting, and I was afraid that I might still feel this way about him after tonight. Something in Elena's eyes had told me that this was serious – that she had really fallen for him. In any other circumstances, with any other guy, I would have cheered. Elena really deserved some happiness in her life. But I couldn't help wishing that it hadn't been Stefan who piqued her interest.

I arrived at the Grill at eight, almost to the minute, yet Elena and Caroline had beat me there. They were sitting next to the window at our favorite table, so I spotted them immediately. Since the evening was still nice and warm, all the front windows had been opened and it felt like we were sitting outside.

"So, have you been to see Matt?" I inquired, after we had settled down and ordered our drinks. "The news has spread all over town by now, but as you can imagine, there are several versions of the story. Do you know how is Vicky doing?"

"Better. She'll be out of hospital in a couple of days." Elena briefly related what she had learned from Matt, which apparently wasn't much. The serious lack of reliable information would probably fuel speculation further.

"Mom has put out a warning to stay out of the woods for the time being," Caroline chimed in. "They've sent in hunting parties, but so far, they haven't spotted any traces of what they think is probably a wild cat."

"What about your personal hunting party, Caroline?" I asked. "Have you managed to track down the mystery guy who escaped you?"

"More likely, it's she who escaped," Elena said gloomily. "I might not be psychic, but I'm still convinced that he was up to no good."

Caroline scoffed and snappily retorted: "Just because he wasn't intent on just talking to me about my favorite book doesn't mean he was all bad, you know."

"Not necessarily. But you have a history of always falling for the bad guys." True enough. With her long, blond hair and her slender and delicate built Caroline surely was an eye catcher. She also radiated flirtatiousness and an ingenuous, girlish charm, which, paired with her looks, attracted guys like flies. And more often that not, she didn't offer too much resistance to their advances. Unfortunately, she was no expert in people, which made her easy prey for every good-looking guy who knew how to push her buttons.

Caroline seemed to be aware of that, as she sighed wistfully. "I know. But why is it that the bad guy is always the most attractive?"

"That's just your perception", I objected. There was no opportunity for Caroline to comment further as the waitress arrived to take our orders. Coincidentally, my eyes were still on her as she went back to the bar, which was why I noticed the black-clad, dark-haired guy that was just about to leave the Grill. I almost whistled through my teeth.

"Talking about hot stuff, girls – check him out!" Caroline and Elena turned to see who I was discreetly pointing at with an incline of my head.

"Oh my God!" Caroline breathed. "It's him!"

"The mystery guy from the party?" I asked, incredulous.

"That's not a mystery guy," Elena clarified, turning back to her drink. "That's Damon, Alys's brother."

"But it is!" Caroline insisted. She still had her eyes on him as he passed through the door, trying to regain her composure. She was all flushed with excitement, her eyes sparkling. Then her hunting instinct kicked in and she sprang to her feet. Elena seemed stunned. "Damon is the jerk who had a go on you in the park and left you without another word? Are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure!" Caroline answered indignantly. "Don't you think I'd recognize a guy who kissed me like that?"

"You didn't know his name..." Elena reminded her.

"Well, I do now! I told you he was smashing! If you two would excuse me... I need to catch Mr. 'tall-dark-and-handsome' and somehow make it look like coincidence. I'll be around." Elena and I stared at each other for a second, speechless.

"Let's just not comment on that..." Elena suggested, shaking her head disbelievingly while I was still trying to make sense of what I had just learned. Another foster brother of Alys's? With Stefan, that made two of them. Both of them incredibly attractive and mysterious. "So all of a sudden Alys is surrounded by family members who turn up out of the blue? I wonder if she's happy to have another foster brother about."

"Damon is her real brother. I met him this afternoon at her place. She seemed at odds with him, though."

"Small wonder. Obviously, his manners leave something to be desired. And he doesn't look like the timid type, if you ask me."

"He isn't." Elena agreed thoughtfully.

"Well, no need to ponder that. Damon is Caroline's problem – she wouldn't thank you for making it yours again."

"Right." She sighed, then shrugged it off. "Listen, since we are having a minute without Caroline just now: Remember that her birthday is coming up next weekend?"

"Sure I do! You said the two of you were planning to stay on campus..."

"That's what Caroline wanted. But I thought it would be nice if we could have a surprise party for her here, instead. I spoke to Tyler – his parents have this little log house down by the lake, which is ideal for a party. He said we could have it."

"Yeah, I remember we had some parties there during our last high school year. That would be fun. I'm sure Caroline would love it, especially if we were to invite a few of her friends from campus to come, too. It should be easy enough to organize. We can get everybody to bring something and have a barbecue."

"I'll tell Tyler. He said he'll help with the decorations and such." Elena suggested. "How about meeting tomorrow so we can go into detail?"

"Tomorrow's not good..." I sighed regretfully. "I promised grams to continue my lessons in witchcraft. I suppose we could meet on Monday, though..."

"Yes, that would be okay for me, too. So, how's your training coming along? Has anything come out of it yet? Anything more useful than scary visions, I mean."

I shrugged. "So far, it has been purely theoretical. But Grams is expecting to see a sudden boost in my powers, soon. It's because of this comet."

"What's that got to do with it?"

"According to her, celestial events influence a witch's powers – enhancing them, or in my case, bringing them fully out."

"Well, that sounds promising. We all could use a little magic in our lives..."

"Maybe not this particular magic. Grams said that this comet has been known to bring death, chaos and destruction every time it's passed the sky above this town. She thinks it's a harbinger of evil."

"Come on, Bonnie, you don't seriously believe that, do you? It's just a massive clump of dust and ice. There's nothing evil about seeing it pass by. After all, it means that it's not going to hit us, which surely is a good thing. – There, Caroline's back. She doesn't look like the hunt brought any game, though..." In truth, she looked sorely disappointed, plunking down into the chair and pursing her lips.

"I suppose you didn't catch him?"

"No! It's unbelievable. He just, like, vanished from the face of the earth – again! Do you think he might be avoiding you, Elena?"

"Me?" Elena looked at her with a confused expression, trying to follow the trail of Caroline's mind that had led to that particularly weird conclusion.

"Well, it can't be me: He sure didn't try to avoid me yesterday, and he doesn't even know Bonnie yet. At least I have his name now. It should be easy enough to track him down."

I gave her a dubious look. "Are you going to lurk outside Dr. Daniels's house until Damon gets out and try to make it look coincidental?"

"No," she smiled, "I'll think of something brilliant." When neither me nor Elena applauded her idea, she sobered. "Look – it's the first time that someone really exciting shows up in this sleepy town, I'm not gonna let that particular fish off the hook! So, whatever advice you're burning to share with me, just keep it, girls!" We both wisely did. Caroline could be very stubborn if she set her mind on something.

As if he had known that this was just the right time to make an entrance, Stefan stepped into the Grill. He briefly paused, his eyes searching the room. Elena, who was sitting facing the entrance, spotted him immediately. "Stefan!" She waved to him, beckoning him to join us. He did, a slightly uneasy smile on his face. "Sorry, I couldn't make it earlier. I hope I'm not interrupting..."

"No, not at all." Elena smiled. "I'm glad that you made it." She quickly made the introductions, seemingly a little nervous. "So, here are my two best friends, Caroline..." Stefan and Caroline politely shook hands.

"... And Bonnie..." Elena continued, directing his attention to me. He offered me his hand in greeting, too, and I took it, our gazes locking. And about a thousand things happened simultaneously. I was hit by such a flood of the weirdest pictures and feelings that I had a hard time taking it all in. My hand seemed to get an electric shock from the touch of his skin, and he must have felt the same thing, for I couldn't say whether I tore free of his hold or if it he had dropped it as if burned by my touch. I gasped, and we stared at each other in shock for an instant.

"What the hell..." Caroline muttered flabbergasted – obviously, the weird incident hadn't passed unnoticed. "What's going on? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I think I just have..." I muttered involuntarily, and a small, worried frown appeared between Stefan's eyes. I felt myself blush. "I'm so sorry... I don't really know what just happened."

"Did you have another vision?" Elena inquired somewhat anxiously.

"Sort of..."

"Well, what did you see?" Caroline asked excitedly, as if this made for highly entertaining dinner conversation. Feeling totally helpless I shot another look at Stefan, who, not surprisingly, seemed uncomfortable. Still, there was also sympathy in his eyes and a trace of guilt – as if he somehow believed that this was his fault and felt bad for me.

"I saw – a grave." Three pair of eyes gave me shocked look, and for a moment, no one said anything. Elena was the first to get back her senses. Her eyes suddenly lit up and she actually broke into a wide smile. "There we go, it's official!" she beamed somewhat proudly. Caroline and I stared at her in confusion. What amusement could be found in the fact that I was officially going crazy?

"You're a witch – just like your grandmother said!" Elena declared in a ta-da-voice, miraculously looking happy about it. I failed to see why seeing a grave when touching a living person's hand should be any less creepy if she were actually right and I was indeed a witch. I forcefully shoved away the sinister thought Elena was blissfully unaware of. "You've got – what would you call it? Backsight!" she exclaimed, trying to explain. "Stefan and I actually met two days ago, at the cemetery!"

Stefan cleared his throat. "Well, that's true, as weird as it might sound. So, I think Elena must be right. How exciting – meeting a real witch." He gave me a kind smile, but did not try to take my hand again.

"You two met at the cemetery?" Caroline frowned, sounding displeased.. "That's not awfully romantic..."

"I was visiting my family", Elena said defensively, and I felt a tinge of relief. Maybe she was right. Maybe it was a memory that I had received from his mind – a memory of him and Elena meeting at her family's gravesite. It just didn't explain the sudden feeling of coldness and darkness that had come with it and which made me shudder still.

Stefan slipped onto the bench next to Elena and opposite from me and I carefully avoided his gaze. So much for the attraction thing, I sighed to myself.

"Since you're here all by yourself I suppose you didn't manage to talk Alys into coming as well?" Elena enquired.

"I didn't get a chance to talk to her. She was out of the house by the time I got back. But I found this still on her desk, where I had left it." He handed her a little notebook that looked suspiciously like Elena's diary. "Haven't you been over?"

"Thank you for bringing it! Yes, I was there, but Alys didn't know anything about the diary. She thought you must have forgotten to mention it to her."

Stefan frowned. "How strange. I had left it on her desk, together with short note..."

"Don't worry, I have it now! So, have you eaten anything for dinner? We haven't ordered yet, but we were going to. You should have a pizza, it's the best you can get here." Realizing that she was overdoing her effort to make him comfortable, Elena broke off, looking slightly embarrassed. If Stefan had noticed, he didn't seem to mind. He smiled and even seemed to relax a bit.

"Alys and I had dinner together before I got here, so I guess I'll stick with a beer. But please, go ahead and order. I'll try the pizza some other time."

While we were waiting for our food to arrive, Caroline and Elena took turns in bombarding him with questions: About how he liked the town so far, whether he had gotten to know many people yet, what the university was like where he had studied until now. Stefan answered all of them obediently, and even though he must have felt like going through a job interview for most of the time, he never seemed ill at ease. I kept quiet most of the time, still trying to analyze the mixed signals I was receiving from him.

Whenever our fleeting gazes crossed, his hazel eyes were warm and smiling, even if his mouth wasn't, most of the time. He didn't seem to smile often, and when he did, I always had the feeling that there was a deep sadness lying underneath. He seemed like a lost soul, making me long to reach out for him, while some parts of my mind screamed out in warning. The same eerie feeling that I had experienced before our neighbor died told me that Stefan came with heavy emotional baggage and would bring pain, trouble and danger. I could only hope and pray that I was wrong.

It was a pleasurable evening – apart from the fact that I kept fighting this feeling of gloom for most of it. Before we noticed, it was almost twelve, and since it was the second evening in a row that we'd stayed up late, we were all getting tired and decided to call it a day.

"Well, thank you very much for inviting me to come," Stefan said on getting up. "It was a nice evening, and it was a pleasure meeting Elena's friends. She can count herself lucky to have both of you." If I hadn't known any better, I would have said that the look he gave me was grateful, which didn't make a whole lot of sense. But when it came to him, nothing really did.

"Yes, it was nice meeting you, too," I said politely and gave a quick and reassuring smile to Elena. "We have to repeat this some time soon."

"Next time, though, you have to make Alys and her brother come along," Caroline chimed in, smiling innocently. Stefan looked at her with an unreadable expression. "You've met Damon?"

"At the party, yesterday. He left rather abruptly, though. I haven't had a chance to invite him along."

"Well, he is somewhat impulsive, at times..." He didn't go further into that, and – as I noted with interest – neither did he say anything to Caroline's proposition. Probably fearing that she would take notice of that, too, and possibly get pushy, Elena rushed to say good bye and almost dragged Caroline to the car. She didn't seem to mind. Most likely, she was quite satisfied with the turn things had taken: She had a name and an address, and probably even a plan worked out.

With Caroline happily engrossed in her plans to capture Damon, she would most likely forget to tease Elena about the fact that she, for the first time in a long while, was on the point of seriously falling for a guy, too. I wondered, briefly, if Caroline was right. Maybe girls did always fall for the bad guy. Though I there was definitively an aura of darkness to him, I couldn't negate Stefan's charm and attraction. Still, for an instant, when I saw Stefan and Elena wishing each other good night, I felt a pang of jealousy... because Elena had claimed him first.


	5. The Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry - although it might seem like this is developing into Stelena, it definitely won't. But I have to ask you to be patient with me - this story, and especially Damon's and Elena's relationship, will take time to develop, just like it did in Season One. Although I think I found a way to ease Stefan out of a potential love triangle in a nicer way than TVD finally did. I like his character - I just don't like writing him so much. ;)

BONNIE

It didn't take long for Caroline to hunt Damon down. Just two days later, while Elena and I were sitting in her room to plan for the party on Friday, Caroline came bursting in, her face beaming all over.

"Now, you're not gonna believe this: His second name is Gabriel, he spent the last two years in Florence, Italy, and he is a Gemini. He has studied History and is now going to do some research in the university archives for his Ph.D. His favorite color is blue and his favorite author is Anne Rice." She looked like the cat that got the cream – extremely pleased with herself.

Elena and I exchanged a gaze. Then I looked dubiously at Caroline. "Did you get all that from spying on him, searching his garbage or did you finally manage to corner him for an interrogation?"

"It took a lot of personal effort and patience and required hanging about on the town square a lot, but he eventually showed up there again. We had a coffee together."

"Did he give you a good explanation for his inglorious disappearance from the party?"

"He said that with the look on Elena's face, he had not wanted to mess with her and decided to give the two of us a chance to talk, first. Later, he got an urgent message and had to leave." She turned to Elena and gave her an I-told-you-so look. "You scared him off."

Elena shrugged. "Well, that's good to know: If I can manage to scare him, you can tell him that I will do so again in case he treats you badly."

"Thank you very much, but I'm a big girl. I can watch out for myself."

Elena sighed. "Here we go again! Will you ever learn from experience?"

"Stop being such a smart-ass! You're no exactly an expert on the male species, if I may point that out. I have a good feeling about him."

"Yes," Elena said dryly. "It's called 'lust'".

Fearing that the two might get into a fight over boys all over again, I decided to steer the discussion away from that touchy subject. "Sometimes, it's hard to decide whether to listen to your gut feeling or your own better judgement," I said in defense of Caroline, but also in regard to my own internal dilemma. It must have sounded rather cryptic, because Elena frowned. "Shouldn't those be the same?"

"In an ideal world." I was getting slightly frustrated and unable to keep it hidden. "Unfortunately, sometimes things aren't that easy. At the moment, I'm getting all confused signals, and it's impossible to distinguish between what's foresight, insecurity due to my own shortcomings, the so called inner voice or my rational mind that's advising me to stick to the facts." I didn't mention that I was getting these confusing signals mostly from Stefan. I still felt dubious about him, although the evening at the Grill had totally won me over. There was more to him than just good looks: He was polite, patient and definitively a very good listener. Just like Matt, he had an air about him that promised safety and protection, and that didn't chime at all with my psychic voice that screamed 'danger'.

"Wow. Anything to do with your mind powers and the comet?"

"Probably. I don't know. I just have a feeling that events have been put into motion that are beyond our control."

"Well, if they're beyond our control, there's nothing we can do about them, anyway," Elena pointed out with slicing logic. "So why worry? We just have to go with the flow and see where it's taking us."

ELENA

A couple of days later our secret plan for Caroline's surprise birthday party had been neatly brought on the way. All the relevant people had been invited and agreed to come, food and drinks were organized and Tyler and Matt had agreed to put up decorations. I had seen neither Stefan nor Alys since Saturday. They had left for a three-day-hiking trip from which they had returned only yesterday evening. I hadn't had a chance to invite them to the party yet, and was hoping very much that this time, they both might agree to come. Besides, I was dying to see Stefan again, which was so totally not like me.

I went by Dr. Daniels's house as soon as it was late enough for an unannounced morning visit. Walking up to the house, I didn't see a car in the driveway and briefly wondered if they had not gotten back yet. Before my hand had reached the bell, though, the door was suddenly pulled open. Taken by surprise, I looked up and found myself face to face with Damon.

"Hello Elena!" he said, smiling. "How nice to see you again!"

It was a common phrase of civility, perfectly acceptable. And yet the innocent greeting seemed to carry a hidden meaning that escaped me. I would have put it somewhere between meaningful and naughty, flirty and challenging. Or maybe it wasn't what he said - it was what I believed I could see flashing in his incredibly intense eyes.

"Uhm, – hi, Damon," I replied, slightly befuddled. "Ah – is Stefan in?" In my confusion, I completely forgot that it was Alys who I should have been asking to see – at least for the record.

"I'm sure he is – somewhere. Please, do come in..."

I almost stepped back at his invitation, which definitively was absurd. But there was something about him that put me on alert. "Thanks, but no. I was just stopping by to ask whether he and Alys will be in town for the weekend. We'll be having a spontaneous birthday party this Friday."

"Whose birthday is it?"

"Actually, my friend's: Caroline... It'll be a surprise party for her, down by the lake."

"Hm. I'm sure that's going to be a surprise..." Damon said, frowning slightly. "She and I had a date for Friday."

"Really? How strange, she never mentioned it..."

"I sure hope she didn't forget it..." He looked at me from underneath long, dark lashes. I realized that his eyes had the most unusual color. A very bright, vivid blue with shades of green, almost iridescent. I returned his captivating gaze, momentarily not knowing what to say. "Well, then – why don't you take part in the conspiracy and make sure that she'll turn up at eight?" I finally suggested, fairly sure that this was the appropriate thing to do. Caroline would be thrilled. The plan would work out perfectly that way.

Damon smiled again. "I do love conspiracies! It'll be my pleasure!"

I managed to tear my gaze away. Looking over Damon's shoulder, I saw Stefan coming to the door. His looked a trifle alarmed. Damon didn't even turn. "Hi, Stefan", we both said with one voice.

"Elena..." Stefan said with a frown. "What are you doing here?" It wasn't exactly the kind of greeting I had been hoping for. For a moment, I was at a loss for words.

"Actually," Damon said, giving him a wide smile, "Elena just invited me to her friend's birthday party on Friday. She was hoping that you and Alys wanted to come, too."

That didn't precisely sum up our actual conversation and seemed to perturb Stefan even further. His frown deepened as his gaze flew from me to Damon. For some reason, he was unhappy to see him and me talking, which was only increasing my own discomfort. I shouldn't have come.

"Damon," Stefan suggested, in a clear invitation to leave, "Would you please call Alys and tell her that Elena is here to see her?"

"Sure!" Damon readily agreed, turning his head backwards to the hallway again and shouting: "Alys! You've got a visitor down here!" With a prankish expression he then looked back to us, adding – as if the thought had just come to his mind: "Actually, I think she's not in. I saw her leave the house about half an hour ago."

"Thank you so much for telling us!" Stefan said, sourly. "Come, Elena. I'll drive you home. I think Alys might have gone to see Elijah at the hospital. We could stop over there on our way."

"Great. Nice meeting you again, Damon."

"Very nice meeting you again, Elena. See you on Friday!" He waved us goodbye with a smirk that made my hair stand on edge.

"I'm sorry about that", Stefan apologized when we sat in his car and headed down the driveway. So he had realized that he had been acting strangely.

"Just what was all that about?" I enquired. "You didn't seem happy that I was talking to Damon..."

"Damon is... well, let's say I don't really know what to make of him. And I sure don't like the way he acts."

"You can't have known him that long..."

"I don't. But I trust Alys's judgement, and she thinks it's safer to keep him at distance. And so does Elijah."

"Why does he allow him to stay in the house, then?"

"Out of politeness... He's Alys's brother, after all. But there is a reason why Alys and he don't get along. Damon is... something to be concerned about."

"How fitting. Caroline did it again. She always falls for the wrong guy. Someone who's just after her looks and thinks she is easy to get."

"Is she?"

I sighed. "I'm afraid so. At least, she has already been in a couple of short-term relationships. It's not that she loses her heart every time, though. I sometimes suspect that to her, it's a sort of competition about who gets the most attractive guy available."

He shot me an inquisitive glance. "Have you been participating much?"

"No," I freely admitted. "I'm not easily attracted to anybody. Maybe I don't want to be. When you lose someone it stays with you – always reminding you how easy it is to get hurt. So I guess I just try to be careful." I was briefly wondering why I was telling him that. It's not really something you blurted out like this, especially not to a guy who might – or might not – be interested in you. He must be thinking that I was warning him off, while in fact, I was just being honest.

"Cautious is not the worst thing to be," Stefan said. "It keeps people alive longer."

No one could argue with that. Sometimes, a very small part of me wondered if it didn't also keep a lot of fun things from happening. But then – you couldn't easily change what you were, nor erase the things that had made you become what you are. I changed the subject back to Caroline and her party, not wanting our talk get too gloomy again.

"So – what do you think: Is there a reasonable chance we might persuade Alys to come along, too?"

"To a party? I very much doubt that. She doesn't feel comfortable in crowds. It's not that she doesn't like to be with people – it just needs to be a smaller circle."

"You know what? I think we all should be having dinner together – nothing big, though. Do you like to cook?"

"I like eating better."

"Well, then Caroline and I will take care of it." I was getting more enthusiastic about this as we talked. It would probably be a chance to get Alys more acquainted with Caroline and Bonnie, too. But mostly, it would be good chance to get better acquainted with Stefan. "We could do it at our house – just you and Alys, Bonnie, maybe Matt for male balance and Caroline, Jeremy and I."

He skeptically raised his brow. "You call that a small circle?"

"It's just six people..."

"Yeah, you're right. I think I might get her to agree to that. I'll just have to be pushy."

"Jenna will be out of town for the weekend. We could have dinner on Saturday evening. It would be a nice ending for out spring holidays, before we all get back to college."

"You're sure your aunt wouldn't mind?"

"Jenna? No, she's cool. She was a rather outgoing teenager herself, from all I know. She was still very young when she became a mother – and she still is. In a lot of ways, she's more my friend than my aunt."

"I'm glad that you have had people around who care about you." Somehow, he sounded as if it really was. I marveled at his ability to feel compassion.

"How about you? Did the people you live with care about you?"

"They did – though not as much as someone who is family might. But then – you can still feel love, even if the people who love you can't be with you anymore."

Yes, I definitively knew that to be true. I had always felt my parent's love, even after their death, and I knew they had never stopped loving my brother after he had passed away. "Your real parents, are they dead, too?" He nodded.

"For how long?" There was a moment of hesitation before Stefan answered: "I've been living without them for almost twelve years now. It was terribly hard in the first years – it still is, sometimes. But like you said – although you might never really get over it, you learn to cope. Life goes on, and somewhere along the way you regain hope that it might have some pleasant things in store for you, still."

"So you are waiting for them to happen?"

He smiled at me. "I think they already have."

*'*'*'*'*

As we had hoped, our little surprise party turned out to be a full success. When Caroline and Damon turned up, everybody was there, cheering at her arrival. Caroline was beaming with delight. She had always loved to be the center of attention, which maybe was another reason why it had worked out with us so well. I had never felt the need to compete with her on this particular field at all, but much preferred to stay in the background. So I was genuinely delighted at her obvious joy and the success of our joined conspirative work.

"That is so sweet of you, Elena, Bonnie..." Caroline gave us a hug, almost moved to tears. "I had thought this would be a very depressing birthday, with my dad absent and my mom on duty... and now this! Thank you so much!"

"You're welcome. We had fun planning it. And besides, the evening wouldn't have turned out so bad anyway – you had a date with Damon, so don't you dare to fish for our pity!"

"Oh, he is striking, isn't he!" Her eyes were glowing again. "But Stefan makes for quite attractive company, too..." Her gaze wandered to where Stefan was standing – a little bit aloof from the crowd. "I wonder if it is good looks that make you qualify for foster care. They all look dashing together." They sure did. Although their tempers couldn't have been any more different. Damon was clearly enjoying himself immensely, talking to people, making contact, whereas Stefan was simply passively observing, politely answering questions if asked, but not purposely looking out for new acquaintances. I quickly stopped over at the buffet and loaded some pizza on my plate before I strolled over to him, fully able to sympathize with what I thought to be party discomfort.

"Hey. How are you doing?"

"Fine, thanks. I was just about to get myself something to drink. Can I get you something, too?"

"Thank you, later. I'm having my hands full with this."

He looked at my plate dubiously. "Are you going to eat this?"

"Why – it's delicious. You don't care for mushrooms?"

"It's the garlic I don't care for. I, ah, don't like the smell."

"Well, then have some, too, so you won't notice."

"Thanks, but no. I don't like the taste, either. I'll just stick with the beer."

"Looks like the party is a full success."

"Yes. Everyone is having a ball."

"I guess that's the advantage of living in a small town. People don't have high expectations as to the amusements. And knowing that they'll meet only the same crowd as usual makes them more inclined to put up with each other."

"There is definitively an amazing familiarity to this. Do you really know everybody who's here?

"More or less... I went to high school here, before we moved away. Many of my classmates stayed for college, so it's still more or less the same faces around."

"Who is that guy over there who keeps looking at me so suspiciously? It's almost as if he expects me to do something untoward."

"That's Matt Donovan. I told you about him..."

"Your ex-boyfriend?"

"You could call him that. But I think of him as a friend, now. I guess he is still feeling a little protective about me."

"Well, I guess I can't blame him for that."

"He's always had a strong protective streak in him. Probably because of his sister, Vicky."

"The girl who got attacked last week and was in hospital?"

"Yes. Fortunately, she has fully recovered, at least physically. She's in therapy, now."

"Has she ever said what attacked her?"

"She doesn't remember." In fact, Vicky didn't even remember what she had said in the emergency room. "It seems like she has forgotten most of the incident. The doctors think she subconsciously banned it from her mind. Maybe that's for the best."

"Yes, maybe it is. Just hope she's going to be more careful in future."

I sighed. "Unfortunately, I doubt that. She has a knack for finding trouble. Matt is constantly worrying because she's hanging around with the wrong crowd."

"Sometimes you don't figure out who is wrong crowd until it's too late."

"Well, in her case it should be easy enough. They're even wearing scary tattoos all over them to warn people off."

He gave me a slightly bemused look. "You think bad guys always come with warning labels on them?"

"No, I guess not." My eyes caught on Damon, who was just strolling over to us. At least, there was no such thing on him, and yet he radiated danger. I had not been mistaken at the park. Whatever his intentions, this guy was bad ass.

"Good evening, Elena!" he said, smiling warmly. "Thank you for inviting me. It's a very nice party." Okay, so he was a bad ass with manners. That didn't change a thing.

"You don't need to thank me for that. It's Caroline's party, and she obviously wanted you here."

"Well, thanks anyway. For being supportive."

Although I was all for politeness, I couldn't leave that standing alone. He might have mollified Caroline, but he hadn't really appeased me. "Actually, I'm not sure if I am," I pointed out honestly. "That night in the park... you really scared the hell out of me."

"I guess my behavior that evening was incredibly rude. Please accept my humble apologies for that." Somehow, 'humble' and Damon didn't go together in the same sentence. Still, what could I do? He looked genuinely contrite.

"Well, since Caroline obviously forgave you, I guess I shouldn't be resentful. Apologies accepted." Damon smiled as if he had expected nothing less.

"So – Damon..." Stefan drew his attention from me. "Are you enjoying your stay in Mystic Falls so far? I mean – it's a very quiet and peaceful little place, not much to do here. The people like it that way, but out-of-towners might find it boring."

"On the contrary. I've already met some very interesting people. The complexity of relationships in a small town is quite intriguing, too. And it has a lot of history to it. I always like to dig into that." Damon's smile was half-way between smug and mischievous. I had the strangest feeling that they were discussing entirely different matters than the obvious ones.

"Are you going to find work here?"

"Actually, I'm was kind of in-between jobs, so I applied for a position as a research fellow with the faculty of history at Greenville University. Gives me the opportunity to do some research myself." Another wide grin that Stefan countered with a frown.

"What exactly are you researching?"

"Oh, historical stuff. The town's got a rich history dating back to the founder's days, and it is kept alive until today. Lots of legends here, too."

"That's true. Mystic Falls is small, but it's very proud of its history," I chimed in. "There is a Founder's Council up until today, and if you look at the listed members, you'll see a lot of familiar names: The Lockwoods, the Fells, the Mikaelsons ... even my own family."

"That would be the Gilberts," Damon said. He was well informed.

"Yes. My family goes all the way back to the first settlers of Mystic Falls."

"It is said that history is very alive around here. Did you know that a lot of people in Mystic falls kept diaries? They all paint a nice picture of the old days. Although the days themselves haven't always been nice. It was a dark and dangerous time, back then."

I shrugged. "There was a war. And yes, I know about the diaries. My mom kept one, too, and I follow that tradition."

Before he could respond to that, we were interrupted by Matt and Caroline, who obviously had been looking for us. Hi, Elena!" Matt greeted me, while giving Damon and Stefan a suspicious look. "There you are!" said Caroline, grabbing Damon's arm in a quite a possessive manner. "I've been looking for you."

"Looks like you found me," he responded with a tight lipped smile. Was it my imagination or did he wear a slight frown? Caroline didn't seem to notice and pulled him away with her, chatting merrily.

"Matt! Have you met Stefan yet? He lives with Dr. Daniels, now."

"Hi. Nice to meet you..." Their handshake seemed friendly enough. They exchanged a few pleasantries, and then Stefan excused himself – probably to give Matt and me a chance to talk.

"It's good to see you here. How have you been doing the last few days? And how is Vicky?"

"She's out of the hospital. I spent a lot of time with her at the therapy center."

"That's good. I hope they can help her."

"Well, I'm not sure. She's been in there for only a few days, but it doesn't seem like she's going to pull through. It's not gonna do any good if she doesn't want to work on her problems herself. There's only so much I can do to help her. – So, what about you and the new guy in town – Dr. Daniels's new foster child? When did that happen?

"We met at the spring break party."

"And you two are already dating?"

"We're not precisely dating. But we might be... He really seems a nice guy."

"But you don't really know him all that well..."

"No, I don't. Yet. Why is it that you sound and act like a jealous boy-friend, Matt? I don't mean to be rude, but it's really none of your business anymore whom I might or might not be dating. We broke up."

"I know. I don't mean to sound jealous. Look – you told me how you felt about us and that it's not gonna work, but it just didn't feel like that for me. You were the one to break up, and I accepted that. But I can't help caring for you, even if you want us to be just friends."

"I know you do. And so do I, just not in a romantic way. I'm sorry about that, Matt. And I'd be even more sorry if that would prevent us from being friends again, given some time."

"I am your friend, Elena. Always will be. And I don't want you to get hurt."

"You can't protect everybody. You have your hands full looking out for Vicky, and frankly, she needs your attention more than I, especially now."

He sighed. "I just don't know what to do about her anymore. How can you help someone who refuses to be helped?"

"You can't. That's the painful truth. All you can do is to let her know that you'll be there for her, whenever she's ready to accept help from you. And I'm sure Vicky knows that. – You know what? I think you should forget about all of this for a while and do something only for yourself for a change – go out, have fun..."

"Well, I'm here!"

"Yes, but only because Tyler asked you to help out with the organization, not because you're really enjoying this."

"You're right. You've always been to good at reading me." He smiled a little regretfully and I felt a pang of guilt. I had never wanted to hurt him. He of all people did not deserve that. "So – how about a dinner with friends, at my house, tomorrow nighty? I'm having Stefan, Alys and Bonnie over and we're missing a guy to balance out proportions. I'd be a good opportunity for you to check out Stefan, so that – depending on the outcome – you could at least lay a small part of your worries to rest."

"I don't know, Elena..."

"Come on, Matt! I'll get your mind off things. And you always loved my homemade lasagna..."

"That's attempted blackmail!" he complained. I smiled sweetly. "Is it working?"

"Yeah, I guess it is!"


	6. The Dinner Party

ELENA

Although it had required great effort on Stefan's part to convince Alys about our dinner plans, she had eventually agreed to come. I couldn't really fathom what her problem was – six people weren't exactly a crowd, not even if you added Jeremy to the number.

To my surprise, he hadn't tried to find an excuse to be out of the house, as I had expected him to. Maybe he was getting out of the phase where having an elder sister seemed like some kind of heavenly punishment to him. I had the strong suspicion that Jeremy was drawn to girls who were somewhat older than him, and given that I was likely to bring them to our house, I guess he was starting to value having me around.

Even more astonishing than the fact that he wanted to hang out with me and my friends, Jeremy seemed immediately taken with Alys. Just five minutes after meeting, they were sitting in a corner of the room, deep in conversation with each other. Bonnie, Matt and Stefan seemed to be doing fine as well, so I felt okay go into the kitchen and check on our dinner.

Caroline was tossing the salad and I was laying the table, when unexpectedly, there was another knock on the door.

"Now, who could that be?" I wondered, given that our party was complete, and people didn't usually drop in unannounced in the evening.

"That must be Damon!" Caroline exclaimed cheerfully, putting the salad aside and quickly checking her hair.

"Damon? Why would he be showing up here tonight?" I looked at her suspiciously.

"Because I invited him." Caroline raised her chin, getting slightly defensive. "Why are you looking at me like that – am I not allowed to have my friend over if we're doing this 'get-to-know-each-other-better' thing?"

"Well, for starters: You could've asked! This could get awkward, you know! Alys and Damon don't get along well!"

"Well, I guess they'll just have to give it a try for tonight, then!" she retorted snappily and rushed the door. "Damon! How nice to see you! Come on in!"

"Hello, Caroline! Elena..." Damon smiled at me with those clear and penetrating eyes of his. Again, his look seemed meaningful, but left me clueless as to what message it was conveying. It definitely wasn't an apology, even though his words were suggesting that. "Caroline said you were having a dinner party and invited me to come. I brought some dessert. I hope you don't mind..."

"Ah, no, thank you, that's fine... " Flustered for no apparent reason, I opened the door wider so he could step into the hallway. Maybe it was just that air about him. He oozed self-confidence from every pore, it was slightly intimidating. And he sure looked sexy as hell. No wonder Caroline was practically salivating.

"You have a beautiful home," Damon said politely. "Very comfy..." I smiled a rather forced smile. It wasn't going to stay comfy for long. He must have known Alys was here. Either the animosity was one sided, or he just liked to provoke her.

"Dinner should be ready any minute," Caroline said, beaming at him. "Why don't you come into the living room and meet our friends? Have you met Bonnie and Jeremy before?"

"Only in passing, at your birthday party."

"Then let me make the introductions..." She almost dragged him into the living room, overly enthusiastic.

"So, this is Bonnie, Elena's and my best friend..." Damon took her hand and smiled at her, while Bonnie stared at him in utter horror. She almost recoiled. Damon pretended not to notice. "Nice to meet you, Bonnie..."

"Elena's cousin Jeremy, who is also sort of her step-brother..."

"Hey, man..."

"... and Matt, who has been..."

"... a good friend to me and Bonnie since high school!" I quickly jumped in, before Caroline could say something embarrassing in the direction of 'ex-boyfriend'.

Matt reacted with less reserve toward Damon than he had with Stefan. But then, it was clear that he had been invited for Caroline's sake, not for mine. They shook hands, checking each other out briefly.

"Well, have a seat! Would you like something to drink?"

"You take care of that, Caroline. I'll get the lasagna out of the oven. Bonnie, would you help me finish laying the table?" Bonnie got my wink and immediately followed me back to the kitchen.

"Just what was that?" I asked as soon as we were out of earshot. Bonnie seemed a little paler than usual. "You looked like you were about to run away screaming!"

"I don't know." She shook uncomfortably. "Damon... There's something about him... I can't put my finger to it but... he's like – shrouded in darkness."

I guess she wasn't referring to the fact that black seemed to be his favorite fashion color, given that he was sporting a black button-up and a black jeans again. "Whatever does that mean?"

She shook her head, shrugging it off. "Forget about it. It's silly. Grams warned me that I might be perceiving things that would not always make sense. My soul-searching powers are probably still a little too erratic be reliable. I'm just starting to develop my potential."

"Hm, you said you've been feeling funny about Alys, too. And you had that freaky vision when you touched Stefan..."

"Yes, you're right. Maybe it's this foster thing. I mean, they all must have had some really bad experiences in their lives. Maybe that's what I'm getting from them: A feeling of loss, loneliness and pain."

"I hope you're not having similar second insights about me..."

"On you? No! But you're not lonely, Elena. You've never been, even though you might have felt so, for a while..."

"I know. Thank you." I gave her brief hug. "Okay then, let's leave the gloom and have some fun. Dinner's ready!"

Despite Damon's unexpected presence, the evening turned out to be pleasant. Even Alys, who hadn't been able to find a common base with Bonnie up to now, was more relaxed and opened up a little. She kept chatting amiably with Jeremy and Matt and more or less ignored Damon. I was starting to feel sorry for him, as Stefan was clearly being reserved with him, too. But Caroline more than made up for that. She was really in her element, entertaining everybody with funny stories and witty remarks. She didn't even stop short on telling that pretty amusing anecdote from High School, when she'd been all into cheerleading.

"What about you, Elena?" Damon inquired, his scrutinizing eyes on me. "Have you ever tried that out, dancing about in those perky short shorts...?"

"I'm not the cheerleader type," I answered rather frostily.

"No, really, she isn't," Caroline supported my point, not even aware that it might be a little insulting when she was the one saying it. "Though she did try cheerleading for a while. It just wasn't her thing. She's more a glutton for books, and likes to spend time in the cemetery, writing in her diary. Ever since the death of her parents, that is..."

Bonnie raised an eyebrow and gave her a stern look, which made Caroline stop in mid-sentence. "Ah, ... and I'm saying that with complete insensitivity..." She blushed and in a small voice added: "Sorry!"

"I'm sorry, too, Elena," Damon said, and for about the first time, I had the feeling that there was no double meaning behind his words. "I know what it's like to lose both of your parents. In fact, Alys and I have watched almost every single person we ever cared about die.."

"We don't need to get into that right now, Damon..." Alys reprimanded him, looking uncomfortable. He immediately complied. "Yeah, you're right. Sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up."

Again, Bonnie and I shared a glance. Death. That's what Bonnie had been seeing about them. Once more, I felt grateful that my own experience with death, as horrible as it had been, had at least not caused me to be 'shrouded in darkness'.

After that brief, awkward moment, conversation was resumed and remained lively and amiable throughout dinner. All in all, I felt that our small dinner party was a success, so far.

We cleared the table and I quickly loaded the dirty plates into the dishwasher in preparation for the move to dessert.

"Here's another one... " Damon said, handing me a red wine glass. I reached for it, noticing a little distractedly that he really had nice hands. Long and slender fingers and nicely shaped nails, but definitely male with clearly visible veins. Elegant, but strong. Caroline always checked out a guy's ass right after judging his face, but somehow, I always looked at their hands. Caught up in thoughts, I didn't really pay attention to the glass and missed it. Damon reacted, lightning-quick, miraculously saving it before it hit the floor.

"That was a close call." Damon smiled as he handed it to me once again.

"Nice save!" I said, smiling back and blushing slightly at my unusual clumsiness. Honestly, I failed to see what Alys's problem was with him. As he had proved tonight, he could be charming and entertaining – nice, in fact.

"I like you," Damon said quite out of the blue – provided he hadn't read my thoughts, which had been traveling in a similar direction. "You know how to laugh. And you made Alys come out of her shell and actually enjoy herself in company – which is something I haven't seen in a very long time."

"I can understand that. Not everyone is comfortable in company. I value my quiet time and like being by myself, too."

"It's probably good that you stopped cheerleading, then."

"Well, yeah... Caroline had dragged me into that. Admittedly, it was fun, back then. In high school, I was the typical teenager I was into everything, quite busy!"

"I knew there was more to you than gloomy graveyard girl." Gloomy graveyard girl? Had Caroline told him that? I shifted a little uncomfortably. It was kind of embarrassing that he should think of me like that.

"I was a whole different Elena back then. I used to be fun. But then... things changed."

"Life happened," Damon acknowledged matter-of-factly, nodding in understanding.

Hmm – that was a funny way of putting what had brought on the drastic change. But then, I guessed, death was a part of life, too. It was just one of these nasty, earth-shattering impediments that life threw in your way, forcing you to pause, detour and overcome it somehow. Damon smiled a little ironically. "It has an annoying tendency to do that."

I shrugged, wondering how we had come to have this kind of deep conversation in the middle of dirty dishes. "I guess you just have to embrace it."

"Even the bad things?" Damon mused, his expression suddenly sober as he looked at me attentively. "Embrace even death, Elena?" There was a slight frown on his face, and I thought I detected a note of disapproval in his voice. Odd. Once again I had the feeling that there was a deeper meaning behind his question. Since I had no idea what he was getting at, I didn't know how to answer that.

"You've got to roll with the punches and move on. Things can matter again – different things, maybe. Maybe there is a whole different Elena within me yet that I have to discover."

"Sounds promising!" Damon said, flirty again. "I can't wait to meet her!"

"Hey – you guys need some help?" Just on cue, Bonnie came to my rescue, saving me yet again from coming up with an appropriate reaction.

"I was just about to get out the dessert Damon brought. You can help me with that..."

Astonishingly, Damon got the hint. "Well, I entrust the peach cobbler into your capable hands, then," he said with an amused twinkle in his eyes, and sauntered back into the living room. Okay, so he had a nice rear, too.

"So – what do you think about them?" I asked Bonnie in a hushed voice, when I was sure he was out of hearing range. I was a little nervous about getting her opinion.

"Who exactly are you referring to?"

"Well, Stefan, in the first place..."

She smiled. "I like him. Really, I do!" I smiled back, feeling relieved. Bonnie's judgement was crucial to me. Not that I was seriously putting faith in her abilities to look into people's souls, but I valued her opinion as a friend.

"I even have to admit that Alys is not as bad company as I had always thought. I had my reservations about her, but I can see what you see in her. She's awfully quiet and composed, but witty. Now, that brother of hers, though..." Bonnie shuddered. "That guy gives me the creeps!"

I turned my gaze through the open dining room into the family room, where Caroline had Damon tied up in a vivid conversation again. Given that he looked anything but creepy as he was sitting there, relaxed, smirking and flirting shamelessly, her fear seemed far fetched.

"He apologized to me for what happened in the park," I said, feeling the need give him a little credit, especially with regard to Bonnie's harsh judgement. "Maybe we just started off on the wrong foot. Caroline seems happy enough."

"Yeah, well, but let's be honest," Bonnie pointed out: "She usually doesn't look behind a pretty face. And I swear, I have never met anybody more arrogant and cynical than Damon. Besides, Stefan is just as attractive – and a very nice guy in addition to that."

"I completely agree with you on that. He's smart, likable and trustworthy."

Bonnie gave me a friendly slap on the back. "Well then – if you ask me: Go for it!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PS: If you're wondering what was on Damon's mind when he made the remark about Elena embracing death, keep this dialogue in the back of your mind! It's not all that important, but it will still become clear towards the end of the story. ;)


	7. Dangerous Liaisons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to point it out once again in cases you're looking for fast action/drama/smut: This story will be slow-pace and focussing on the development of relationships between the characters (although there will be plenty of action and some smut later on). I very much liked the beginning of TVD, when the humans were still clueless about the demons walking around. I hope you like it, too. If yo do, please leave a comment, because I'm really interested to hear what you're thinking!

ALYS

Despite Damon's unexpected presence, Saturday night's dinner party had been fun. Still, Elena felt the need to apologize to me on Sunday, when we were back in our small dorm room. "I really had no idea that Caroline would invite him, too. I'm really sorry if he made you uncomfortable."

"No, it was okay. He was behaving pretty civilly most of the time. Besides, I had better get used to his presence. It looks like I'm going to see more of him in the future." Damon had applied for a post-doc assignment in the history department and was looking for a house in Greenville. That still had me baffled. I couldn't fathom why he would want to stick around all of a sudden. It surely couldn't be because of me.

"Well, that might not be such a bad thing..." Elena offered tentatively. "Maybe this is a chance for you two. You know, to get close to each other again, after you've been apart for such a long time."

I made a noncommittal sound. "Hm. At least that's what Damon says he's hoping for." I sighed. "He suggested that I move in with him."

"What?" Elena looked at me in surprise. "What did you say to him?"

I hesitated, avoiding her eyes. "Nothing, yet. But you know how I hate this rooming-in situation..." This place was so cramped. And you could never be sure who walked in on you.

"Alys, you don't need to explain or even apologize to me. If that's what you want, I'm happy for you."

"I'm not sure if that's what I want... Damon and I never got along that well after – the death of our parents. But he's my brother, and I suppose I'm still wondering if there isn't a chance for us to make up again." Even though I knew that he was staying because of some hidden agenda and not primarily because of me, I couldn't help hoping that I was at least playing a small part in his decision.

"That's totally understandable." Elena sighed. "I wish I still had my brother. Though we might not be close, either. He was more than ten years my senior. He'd be close to thirty, were he still alive."

I couldn't quite mask my expression on hearing her say that, but I probably didn't need to worry. Feeling regret and guilt was a reasonable explanation for the queer look I gave her. Elena didn't comment on it. "How soon will you move out?" she just enquired.

"I don't know. He has to find a place first, and I need to decide if I really want to jump into it." Maybe it was a good idea. I could better keep a watch on him that way. I only wished I could give Elena the clear warning that I felt was needed.

*'*'*'*'*'*

BONNIE

Caroline was ecstatic when she heard that Damon would be working with Mr. Saltzman while doing his research. Given that he was an expert on American History who had published a book on the Civil War, he'd even be holding some of the seminars. "Imagine that! Mr. Saltzman and Damon both in the same classroom, that's gonna raise attendance rates considerably. I'm so glad I elected History this semester!"

"I somehow doubt that it'll also raise attention levels," Elena remarked rather drily.

"Oh, he'll have my full attention, for sure! The new semester is starting out great!"

About two weeks later, Caroline wasn't quite as happy anymore. Outside of classes, she hadn't seen all that much of Damon, given that as a staff member, he was not attending any of the social gatherings. He had rented a place off campus instead, and didn't show the customary presence that could reasonably be expected of a boyfriend.

"He might not even go to the campus party with me, which really sucks," she complained, sulking to me and Elena while we were sipping our coffees on a bench outside the campus library building during lunch break. "I guess this stupid not-quite-a-party thing at the Lockwoods' next week is about the first event we'll actually be attending together. I don't really understand why he's interested in it at all. Just old people and a collection of dusty historic memorabilia."

"It's an exhibition of the Mystic Falls Historic Society," Elena pointed out, slightly indignant at Caroline's depreciative description of the upcoming community event that the locals of Mystic Falls actually took great pride in organizing. Her parents had both been council members and doubtlessly would have taken part in it. Besides, she and Jenna had donated some of the Gilbert family heirlooms for the exhibition. "Of course Damon would be interested in that – he's with the History department, if that rings a bell?"

Caroline sighed. "I know. At least it's an opportunity to dress up nicely. I bet Damon will look heavenly in formal dress!" Looking at it from an objective perspective, Damon sure looked good no matter what clothing he wore, but he didn't have any kind of appeal to me. He was dark and sinister and still made my hackles rise.

"Caroline – you do realize that he can't continue dating you, now that the term has started and we're all back to campus, right?" I asked her, slightly exasperated at her groupie behavior. "There are rules for teacher-student relationships: They're not allowed. He could get fired for that."

Caroline shrugged. "Well, I guess we'll just have to be extra careful and make sure we're not seen together on campus. But on the bright side: He has his own house – in fact, it's a mansion – a little outside of town, surrounded by acres of wood and no watchful neighbors for miles."

"How do you know?"

"He showed it to me, of course. It's really awesome! You should see the gigantic fireplace in the living room! Best make-out place ever..."

"Okay, stop it right there, I don't wanna hear that!" Elena made a show of holding her ears shut.

"Well, that's a pity, because I would love to hear some more about Stefan and you. You haven't been sharing much, lately."

"That's because there's not much to share. We've been to that frat party together – just because you talked us into it, I might mention – and as you well know, we didn't enjoy it that much and left early."

"Yes, that's exactly the point where I want you to pick up and start spilling."

Elena sighed and got up to throw her empty paper cup into the waste bin. "Look, Caroline, up to this point, Stefan and I are – friends. We like to talk and hang out or have a coffee together, but that's it. I'm not exactly the type of girl to dive into it like you do. We're just taking things slowly."

Caroline and I exchanged a glance. Okay – so Elena hadn't been into any kind of relationship except for the brief interlude with Matt, and she had been taking that rather slowly, too. But sometimes, I wondered if Elena had a commitment issue. If Stefan wasn't able to sweep her off her feet, who was? Even I had a problem understanding what she was waiting for, though I couldn't honestly say that I didn't feel a little relief, too. If they continued just being friends...

"What?" Elena asked, when we both refrained from saying anything. "We've only known each for like three weeks."

"You don't need to get defensive about it," Caroline finally said, never able to keep her big mouth shut. "Like you say, you're not that kind of girl. Don't rush into it. Take your time! After all, what's a year in a lifetime, right?" I shot Caroline a warning glace. I understood her need for retaliation after Elena and I both kept criticizing her thing with Damon, but I still felt protective of Elena. I know how much she still hurt – losing your entire family probably made you guard your heart more than people without that kind of experience did.

"I really like Stefan," I said, trying my best to sound encouraging and not enamored. "He clearly has feelings for you, and I think the fact that he's respecting your need for going slowly only shows what a caring soul he is. So don't worry about it too much and just listen to your gut."

 

*'*'*'*'*

 

ELENA  
  
I was still musing about Bonnie's comment as I made my way over to the Science lab. She obviously suspected that I was the one stepping on the brakes in this relationship, but I wondered if that was really the case. True enough, I had always been reluctant to open up to people, but I wasn't with Stefan. After only a month, I felt more deeply about him than what could be considered reasonable. It was surprising and a little alarming – especially since I was not entirely sure if the feeling was mutual. It seemed more and more like it was Stefan who kept his distance – if out of consideration for me, or due to personal reasons was hard to tell.

"Elena, wait!" I heard Alys's voice call me from behind, jolting me out of my musings. I stopped and turned, shading my eyes against the sunlight.

Alys caught up with me and quickly pulled me into the shade of a huge tree. She hated being out in the sun. With her pale complexion, she easily got sun-burned and was wearing long sleeved shirts even in the middle of summer.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you – I had my earphones in. What's the matter?"

"I'd like to ask you a favor... Damon wants me to come and check out the house he has rented. It's a little bit on the outskirts of town and not quite in walking distance."

Alys didn't have a car. Hers had succumbed to age about half a year ago, and having a lack of money and no pressing need for a replacement, she hadn't gotten a new one. With Caroline, Bonnie and me around, there had always been someone to give her a lift on weekends to get back to Mystic Falls. Most of the time, we all went together.

"You want me to drop you off?"

"No, Damon is taking me after lunch. But it'd be great if you could pick me up later, if you don't mind?"

"Sure, no problem. Just give me the address and name a time."

"Thank you! I really appreciate that. Would around 4 p.m. work out for you?"

"I'll be there!"

*'*'*'*'*

Almost with the strike of the clock, I pulled my Volvo into the driveway that led up to the house, which, according to my GPS, was the right address. I was rather skeptical about that: The house that came into view between huge trees was enormous. Was Damon thinking about renting out rooms? This was definitely way too big for just two people, provided Alys really took him up on his offer.

After parking the car on the pebbled area surrounding a dried up fountain, I crossed the somewhat neglected lawns towards the arched front door. It looked more like a church entrance than a door to a house. There was no bell, either, just a giant lion head doorknocker. How very stylish.

After a minute or two, which I guessed was an appropriate time frame considering the size of the house and the time it probably took to cross it, Damon opened the door. "Elena!" he said, cocking his head to the side and lifting an eyebrow. "What an unexpected surprise! You were not on my list of visitors for today..."

Somewhat befuddled, I cleared my throat. "Hello, Damon," I managed to say. "I'm actually here to pick up Alys. She said she would be here with you to have a look at the house and she'd asked me to come for her about now..."

"What a pity, she's not here yet. Something came up and she couldn't catch a ride with me. She said someone would drop her off."

"How strange. I wonder why she didn't call me..."

Damon pulled a phone out of the back pocket of his jeans. "That's probably because I happen to have her phone. She must have accidentally dropped it in my office when she came to meet me."

"I see," I murmured, slightly flustered. "Well, then, I'll be heading back and pick her up later. Just tell her to give me a call whenever she's ready."

"After you've been driving all the way?" Damon asked. "Don't be silly! You're more than welcome to wait for her. Please, do come in..."

I hesitated, unsure whether I should do as suggested or rather run as quickly as possible and come back when Alys was around. Which would be silly. He'd been acting pretty normal at the dinner party, so I had no reason to be uneasy, right?

Damon held the door open invitingly. "Unless you are afraid to, that is?" There was a challenge in his voice that I refused to back down from. "Of course I'm not", I said, straightening my back and stepping in. "Why should I be?" He just shrugged his shoulders and lead me through the hallway into an even bigger room that was clustered with all kinds of antique furniture. Bookshelves lined the wall, old fashioned looking chairs and a sofa hovered around a carved coffee table and a huge staircase led up to the second story, forming a balcony that lined half of the downstairs. The pictures on the wall were oil paintings, the chandelier in the center of the room looked like Louis XIV.

"Wow!" I said, undecided whether I should be impressed or appalled. "This is your living room?

"Study, parlor, Sotheby's auction – have your pick. A little bit kitschy for my taste, but well... the place came furnished."

"It's a beautiful house, though," I said, looking around curiously. There were deep, transom windows that looked out into a lush, overgrown garden. Despite the vintage furnishings, the room was still comfy – I could hear the soft ticking noise of a huge grandfather's clock that stood behind a quite impressive desk, which was almost buried beneath leather bound books. They looked antique, too. Yet it seemed that Damon had just been reading in them. "I'm interrupting your work..."

Again, he shrugged. "It's a welcome break. I've just been reading." I glanced at the book that lay open on his desk. It was handwritten on stained, withered pages, with letters that looked more ornamental that legible. "You can actually read that? The handwriting is awful!" The corner of his mouth twitched in slight amusement. "It's old. From the 1860s."

"One of those diaries you were mentioning?" He nodded, looking at me attentively. I felt awkward under his penetrating stare. I cleared my throat. "So, what exactly is it that you are doing? You said you are into local history. Into what, precisely?"

"Local myths and folklore in historical context." Again that peculiar, expectant expression. As if he was curious for my reaction. Did he seriously expect me to be impressed? It didn't sound like a Nobel-prize worthy subject, after all. Damon went to the coffee table and poured himself a drink that looked suspiciously like whisky. Without the coffee. Seriously? It wasn't even four o'clock.

"Can I get you something to drink, too? Maybe some water..."

"No, thanks." I shouldn't have come in. For some reason, Damon's presence did nothing to make me feel comfortable, even if he was now playing the charming host as he offered me a seat on the giant sofa. Thankfully, he sat down on the chair instead, still quietly observing me like I was some unknown species. When he made no attempt to pick up the conversation again, I nervously resumed my previous interview. "So, you're a historian?"

Again, his mouth curved up in silent amusement. "I guess you could call me that."

"And that's why you're hanging about in the library and the town's archives?"

"M-hm. They have excellent documentation from the period I'm mostly interested in: that of the civil war."

"For all I know, there aren't any legends about Mystic Falls – apart from the founders' stories. Nothing mystical, despite the town's strange name." Damon's eyes lit up. Their color made me think of a mountain lake's crystal clear water and the blue, sunlit sky reflected on its surface. And the only mystic thing right now was my pondering this.

"Oh, but there are! Stories about witches, werewolves, vampires..."

I snorted. "You believe in fairy tales? I'd more expected you to be among the first to laugh about them." Damon looked leaned closer, as if afraid to be overheard. "What if they aren't laughable?" he asked in a low voice, mocking me again. "What if they aren't even fairy tales?"

I shrugged. "We'd probably be safer to stay home at night, in that case."

"Well, that's definitely a good piece of advice. Never walk around alone in the dark."

"I don't. Besides, I have Bonnie. You've met her. She believes she's a witch. She says it runs in the family."

"Really? Interesting. I should have another talk with her, sometime."

"Funny – I wouldn't have thought you would be interested in this esoteric stuff."

"Why not?"

"I don't know... you don't seem the type." He curved his eyebrow upward and somehow managed to look questioning and provocative at the same time. "Then what type am I?"

I responded without thinking. "The one mothers warn their daughters about," I said, speaking out loud what was on my mind. Of course, that made him smile wickedly.

"Devilish, dashing and dangerous?" he asked back. That about summed it up correctly. Yet I couldn't let it stand after my earlier blunder. "Secretive and self-assured to the point of arrogance," I corrected. "Contradictory as your given name." The last had him look at me with a slightly puzzled expression. "What's contradictory about that?"

I shrugged. It was obvious. "The demon versus the archangel."

"Well, I don't oppose to the first, given it really goes well with the afore mentioned 'devilish' and 'dangerous'," he said, one corner of his mouth perking up slightly. "But how does the archangel come into this?"

His obvious mystification had me frown. "Your second name, Gabriel?" I offered helpfully. How could a historian not know the origins of that?

"I don't have a second name."

I frowned. I clearly remembered what Caroline had found out about him – almost her exact wording. "But that's what you told Caroline..." I said, probably sounding a little bit accusatory. "Your second name was Gabriel. You're a Gemini, spent some time in Florence and are now going for your Ph.D. You said you liked Anne Rice and your favorite color is blue."

He arched an eyebrow. "Well, well, someone's been paying attention..."

I blushed, silently cursing myself. Why did I remember all of her rambling about Damon, anyway? He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Caroline was putting me through an interview that felt like the holy inquisition. I had to come up with something to satisfy her curiosity."

"You made it all up?" I looked at him, dumbfounded. "None of that is actually true?"

"Well, if you must know: The truth is that I am – a Scorpio. My favorite color is black. I already have a Ph.D and my favorite author is Edgar Allan Poe. But I really am doing research into the town archives."

I frowned at him. "Do you always lie to your girlfriends?" I had already suspected that his morals where questionable, but this really topped it.

"Going out with Caroline a couple of times doesn't make her my girlfriend."

"Meaning you just lie to everybody out of a bad habit, then..." I concluded sarcastically.

"It's neither a habit nor always bad," Damon countered and gave me a knowing smile. "I bet you're not always being honest, either. People have to protect their secrets, especially the dark ones."

It was easy to imagine that Damon was harboring dark secrets. Probably more than one. I wondered if Caroline had any idea what she had gotten herself into. He was just playing with her, and most likely, he was going to shred her heart to pieces. "So – given that you are not so sure whether you are her boyfriend or not... Will you be going to the campus party with her?"

"Are you fishing for a date, Elena?" Damon asked, his expression portraying interest, mockery and mild amusement. "I'm sorry for having to disappoint you. I'm a research fellow – I'll chaperone. It's against campus rules to go out with a student. You'd get me in seeriouus trouble..."

Alys was right. It was useless to try to have a meaningful conversation with Damon. He turned the tables on you before you even saw the move coming, and he was shameless in choosing his weapons. "Cocky much?" I asked, raising my eyebrow in a poor imitation of his signature smirk.

"Very much!" he willingly agreed, not really providing me with a target.

Fortunately, I was saved from having to come up with another witty comment when we heard the door open and fall shut and Alys burst in.

"Look who the storm blew in!" Damon said in greeting. "Alys, my most precious sister!" She turned to me, forcing a smile. "Elena! I'm sorry – Stefan needed my help with something urgent, and it took longer than expected. I hope Damon hasn't been his usual intolerable self? " She looked concerned for some reason and was scanning my face as if looking for injuries.

Her worries surely seemed exaggerated. She was only 20 minutes late, even if I had had to spend them with Damon. "No worries. He's been perfectly well-mannered and polite, at least with me." I cast him a meaningful glance which he countered with a mischievous grin.

"Yeah, don't worry, Alys. You're still early enough. I haven't eaten anything, yet."

Alys shot him a killing glance and took my arm. "Maybe we should do this some other time."

"Ah, rubbish. You're both here, and I bet Elena would love a tour of the house. Who knows – she might even want to move in here, too, once she sees the bathrooms! Come on, ladies!"

Admittedly, I was curious about this weird place, so I agreed to stay. Damon showed us around the house, which actually was more of a mansion. As he told us, it had once been a boarding house, thus the many bedrooms. Despite being old fashioned, it was high above dorm level in terms of comfort. In fact, it was downright luxurious. The living room featured the enormous fireplace Caroline had colorfully mentioned, and seeing the plush carpet in front of it brought unwelcome pictures to my mind. I felt myself blush, and even more so as Damon had obviously noticed my discomfort and raised a questioning brow. I refused to look at him and quickly moved on to the kitchen. Unlike the rest of the house, it was modern and came with all necessary equipment, like a dishwasher and a brand new gigantic cooler/freezer. It also featured a marble top kitchen island with bar stools. That alone was to die for – if you liked cooking, that is. Something I knew Alys wasn't at all interested in.

"Very impressive! Probably a little over the top, since you'll probably not be using it very much."

"Why not?" Damon asked. "Actually, I'm an excellent cook."

"Really?" Another thing that was unexpected. "You don't seem like the homey type. You know, apron, cookies, homemade meals..."

"You seem to have put a lot of effort into 'typing' me, Elena", Damon pointed out, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "But I bet you got the most important parts wrong..."

"Oh, really? So you're not an incredibly arrogant player with a bad ass attitude and a serious lack of conscience?"

"That's not the most important part I was referring to..." he said, smirking.

"Then what is?" I asked, wondering what could possibly be more defining for Damon than the afore-mentioned characteristics. Before Damon had a chance to elaborate, Alys intervened. "Elena, let's get back to the dorms. I've seen what I came to see."

"But wait – didn't you say you guys wanted to have dinner together? Maybe Damon could drop you off later..."

Damon stifled a laugh and Alys paled. What was it with Alys and a shared meal? "No, thanks! I'm going to have my share of evenings with Damon soon enough, and I still have a paper to write for Mr. Saltzman. Let's go!" Alys rushed me out the door and towards my car. Damon followed a bit more slowly behind to see us off. Casually leaning against the doorframe and looking incredibly smug, he raised a hand and waved us good-bye. "Thanks for visiting, Elena!" He called in a honeyed voice. "Next time around, I hope you'll stay at least long enough for a drink! Or I could even make you dinner... I'm sure you'd love it!"

I simply rolled my eyes at what could have only been a hidden innuendo that I wasn't quite catching, and got into the car.

"Well, that was certainly an interesting visit..." I mused when we were on our way, shooting a quick look at Alys, whose mood was incredibly hard to judge. She sighed. "Guess it's going to be an interesting life with him constantly around..."

"So, I take it you have made up your mind, then? You're really going to move in with Damon?"

"Yes, I guess I am."

"Honestly, I can see why you'd prefer living there over staying in those deposit boxes they call dorms. The house is extremely spacious, luxurious, very private. You might not even run into him all that often."

Still, Alys's face remained devoid of any emotion. She looked pensive, maybe a little resigned. I certainly was no judge of sibling relationships having lost every chance at that at a young age, but I still wondered. "I don't know, Alys – shouldn't you be feeling more comfortable around him if you're actually planning on moving in with him? I mean, you two still seem awfully tense around each other... and that makes me wonder if it's really a wise choice."

"Elijah didn't quite like the idea, either. I think he doesn't trust Damon."

"Then why are you doing it anyway?"

Alys heaved another heavy sigh. "I sort of promised him. Besides, I could more easily keep a close watch on him that way." I looked at her questioningly. "Why do you think you need to watch him?"

"Someone better!" Okay – this was not exactly self-explanatory, either. There was definitively some piece of information I was still missing out on. Whatever was preoccupying her, I knew Alys well enough not to push. So I drove on and patiently waited for her to continue, which she finally did. "He's after you", she finally dropped the bomb. "I'm afraid you stirred his hunting instincts."

My first reaction to this was a spontaneous laugh, but it somehow got stuck in my throat. "Hunting instincts?" I asked, the slightest note of insecurity in my voice. "Like he is – what?"

Alys gave me a meaningful glance. "Dangerous", she said ominously. For some funny reason, I never thought she was joking.

"Dangerous as in 'he's a heartbreaker' or 'you wouldn't want to run into him in the dark?'" I enquired.

"Both. And thanks for not laughing."

I wasn't. Actually, I found myself believing her. Apart from the obvious, there was something dark and mysterious about Damon. Like he was hiding something. But surely not a secret attraction for me – I knew my place when compared to my lively, outgoing and bedazzling friend. It wasn't my heart Damon was bent on breaking. "You don't need to be worry about me," I said, though I found very little comfort in it myself: "He's with Caroline."

Alys turned to look at me, her face bearing gloomy expression and her voice sounding doubtful. "Did he say that? – She's so totally not his type."

"What is his type?" Not that I needed to know. I wondered why I had even bothered to ask.

"You are," Alys said simply. "So you'd better watch out. He might be using Caroline just as a means to get to you."

I snorted. "You think? Not the most convincing strategy!"

"Damon likes playing these sort of games."

"Well, I hope he's not intending to play them with Caroline, for if he is, he's the one who will have to watch out," Elena said, sounding fierceful. "She might be a bit naive, but she has a good heart, and I'll not stand by and watch it be broken." I didn't know what to say to that. Broken hearts were the least of my worries. After all, they would still be beating.


	8. The Ties That Bind

ELENA

With Alys's warning still fresh on my mind, I paid extra attention to Caroline's behavior in the following week. The whole not-affair with Damon seemed to be wearing her out. She was tired a lot, though she didn't spend that many nights at Damon's place, and she even got a little forgetful. Her focus clearly was not on her classes.

Of course, Damon didn't go to the campus party with her, he didn't even chaperone. Caroline shrugged it off, adopting Bonnie's argument that they couldn't be seen together on campus. He still planned on taking her to the Historic Exhibition in Mystic Falls the upcoming weekend, after all, and Caroline pretended to be happy with that.

I wasn't any luckier than Caroline as far as my love-life was concerned. Though Stefan and I had gone out a couple of times, I wasn't even sure if I should call it dating. He kept sending mixed signals. Or maybe it was me, who was simply unable to decipher their meaning. He got us tickets for a baseball match once, which was fun, but not exactly romantic.

He wasn't going to attend the event at the Lockwood's on Saturday, but he and Alys came back to Mystic Falls with us on Friday, anyway. Stefan had asked me out to the little Italian restaurant that was famous for its cuisine – and the only place apart from the Grill where you could dine out. I figured that counted as a date and was looking forward to it.

Apart from enjoying the excellent food, we chatted amiably for two hours about our favorite topics: books, college, friends – and me. Stefan was interested in everything: At what age I had gotten braces, how I had coped with that stupid neighbor's kid, how I had gotten along with my parents.

Given that I normally preferred not to talk about personal matters, his attention was disconcerting. Or it could have been. With him, to my surprise, I didn't mind sharing the memories of my early childhood and my parents. Those were the good ones. What troubled me more was the fact that Stefan hardly ever spoke about himself. He answered most of my questions in the least elaborate way possible, and quickly deflected when it got too personal. He especially avoided talking about his family and childhood, which probably was understandable. Being abandoned by your own parents without even a relative caring about you and having to live with total strangers surely must have left deep scars. It might even be more of a trauma than losing your parents to something as trivial as a car accident. It certainly explained Stefan's melancholy and wistfulness.

He really made an effort to be funny and entertaining throughout the evening, and we finished our three course meal in amiable conversation, interwoven with philosophical musings and even the occasional laughter. After an excellent dessert, Stefan walked me back home. We took a detour through the park, which I decided did fall into the romantic category: It had been the place where we'd first met – not counting the cemetery. The evening had gotten slightly chilly, and when Stefan noticed my gooseflesh, not only did he do the gentlemanly thing and offer me his jacket, but also put an arm around me to generate a little bit more warmth. It felt nice. I snuggled slightly closer, wondering a little nervously if Stefan was going to kiss me goodnight this time.

But – sticking to sending mixed signals, though most likely involuntarily – he chose that very moment to enter into a conversation about Caroline and Damon. Clearly, those two had not been in the forefront of my mind tonight.

Stefan seemed as concerned as Alys about their ongoing affair. And just like her, he wouldn't say anything specific, just that he thought Damon was not the right person for any decent girl to be with.

"Really?" I asked with a little playful smile, trying to make light of his rather somber comment. I was really not in the mood to discuss Damon just now. "Would you say that about every handsome, mysterious stranger who turned up out of seemingly nowhere and made an innocent girl's head spin, or is this Damon-specific?" It was intended to be a slightly flirty remark, but Stefan didn't really pick up on it. Maybe I was just miserable at flirting.

"Well, admittedly, I was thinking of Damon in particular," he answered rather seriously. "Though it's always advisable to be careful around mysterious strangers."

"So I guess I had better beware of you, then?" I asked, trying to press a reaction from him. Had it escaped his notice that I had more or less admitted that I felt attraction for him?

"Oh, but I happen to have only your very best interests at heart," Stefan said, again with great solemnity, instead of reading my bantering tone as the invitation intended. He let go of my shoulder and put his hand back in the pocket of his jacket. Did I mention that I sucked at flirting? I felt my spirits sink, until I realized that Stefan was just pulling out a little something that looked suspiciously like a small jewelry box. In the light of the previous discussion, this was a bit weird.

"I hope this is not too soon or too weird..." he said, echoing my thoughts and obviously feeling awkward. "But I really wanted you to have this..." He opened the little box, revealing a very delicate, exotic looking silver necklace. His expression was anxious, as if he really was afraid he was overstepping boundaries.

"Oh, how beautiful!" I exclaimed, not thinking about the significance of the gift or whether I could accept it yet. I was simply awed. This piece of jewelry really was exquisite.

"It's a lucky charm," Stefan explained. "These little rune stones around the pendant are intended for – protection."

I had noted his brief pause. "Protection? Against what?"

"Against evil." Maybe that should have sounded amusing, but it didn't. And I was quite sure that Stefan hadn't intended it to be. "I'd very much like you to wear it."

"Oh – no, really Stefan, I couldn't. This looks very precious..."

"Just think of it as a token of affection given to you by someone who wishes you well and who wants to keep you safe. Please – it would really mean a lot to me if you could accept it." A token of affection? I looked into his eyes, searching for the meaning behind his words. Surly this was not a gift of friendship? And even if it was – could I refuse it? I did not find the answer to my question, but there was sincerity and a plea. Whatever the reason, this was clearly important to him.

I smiled at him. "Well, then: Thank you very much for this lovely necklace, Stefan. It's really beautiful and I like it a lot. Would you please help me to put it on?" I turned my back to him and swept my hair aside, exposing my neck to him.

"Ah – yes, I suppose I could..." He seemed reluctant about it, though. He hesitated a moment, so that I threw a curious glance over my shoulder. His hands were shaking slightly, as he took the necklace out of the box and fumbled with the clasp. "I'm sorry, I'm a little clumsy with small things..." He said apologetically and drew back. "Why don't you try it yourself?" He handed me the necklace, and I noticed some raw patches of skin on the tip of his fingers.

"No wonder you're having troubles. Did you crack some blisters? That must hurt..."

"Oh, no, that's nothing." He quickly withdraw his hands, shoving them in his pockets. "I've been working with some mildly aggressive substances recently... should have worn gloves, I suppose. It's just superficial."

"Funny, I haven't noticed them before." Given that we had sat opposite one another at the same table, working with cutlery most part of the evening, I surely should have taken notice. No wonder I was so terrible at reading people if I was such a bad observer. "You should put some healing ointment on it." I advised. "Actually, I happen to have something in my bag... it's for chafed lips, but it'll work on any kind of skin wound." I held out the necklace for him to hold, so I could rummage through my bag, but Stefan stubbornly kept his hands in his pockets. "No, really, don't bother, it'll be okay," he said. Typical – just like Jeremy. As if the use of medication marked you as a weakling.

"I'd rather like to see how the necklace looks on you."

"Okay..." I complied, taking my time in coping with the clasp. No need to make my request for his help earlier seem like the clumsy attempt to get closer to him that it had been.

"How do I look?"

"It's beautiful. The necklace really suits you. And you won't have to worry about damaging the stones – you can leave it on even in water." Meaning I wasn't supposed to ever take it off. I probably wouldn't. It felt nice and warm on my skin – somehow as if it belonged there. I had the distinct feeling that if I were to take it off, I would feel naked without it.

"Stefan?"

"Hm?"

"What are you trying to protect me from? Seriously?" He non-answered with a question of his own. "Why do you want to know? Can't you just trust the sincerity of my intentions?"

"Trust is earned. I can't just magically hand it over. You're keeping something from me, Stefan, and secrecy doesn't exactly inspire trust. "

"I'm sorry. There are some things... I cannot talk about. I really can't."

"You know – I really like that mystery vibe about you, it's part of your charm. But how am I ever supposed to get to really know you if you don't really tell me anything?"

"You do know me. You know that I greatly care about you and that I want to keep you safe. You know of all the things we share and have in common, everything that is important to me. You know everything about me that truly matters."

And just like this, he closed his walls again. Needless to say I wasn't kissed that night, either.

 

*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*

 

It was still very early for a Saturday morning when I left the house and headed over to Bonnie's. Her phone call had actually rudely awakened me from sleep, which explained why our brief conversation had been nothing short of confusing. Bonnie was terribly excited, though I had a hard time figuring out if it was a happy kind of exhilaration or an emotional turmoil caused by dread. It sounded pretty much like a mixture of both. It hadn't been exactly helpful either that she wouldn't tell me anything about what was going on – not even a hint. She just asked me to hurry over as soon as I had taken my shower. So, it was not a life threatening emergency, but serious enough if she expected me at her place before I had even had a coffee.

Fortunately, Bonnie had thought of that and had a steaming mug already waiting for me when I arrived at her place. She grabbed it with one hand and me with the other and took us both straight to her room.

"Okay, you have me officially worried," I said, borrowing one of Caroline's lines. "What's gotten you so psyched up?"

Bonnie actually burst into a fit of giggles. "Psyched up, ha ha!" she laughed, pulling me down on the bed next to her. "That's actually exactly it – the reason, I mean. I'm so totally psyched! Or rather psychic."

While I was still internally debating whether my friend had suffered some weird kind of breakdown and how to act on this, Bonnie suddenly quieted and her eyes started sparkling. "My grams was right, Elena. I'm psychic. I really am!"

Obviously, my reaction was not what she'd been hoping for – I wasn't cheering or applauding yet and she could probably read the doubt in my eyes.

"Here, let me show you something..." She took her pillow from her bed and forcefully ripped it apart. Bonnie resolutely shook the torn material until all the feathers came tumbling out and covered her entire duvet. Before I could ask what the hell she was doing, she put her finger to her lips and whispered: "Just watch!" She took a single feather into the palm of her hand, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. And then, all by itself, the feather started to rise. Gently swaying back and forth as if balanced on a finger of an invisible hand, it ascended straight up, higher and higher.

"Bonnie!" I gasped, still not quite believing what I saw, when a another feather started to drift up from the bed, and yet another one. And all of a sudden, they all were afloat in the air, dancing around us like butterflies or cherry blossoms in the wind. I stared in awe, totally mesmerized by the magic that was clearly surrounding me. Magic that was ever so gracefully dancing to Bonnie's bidding.

She had opened her eyes again, her own face full of awe and joy. I started smiling and saw my smile reflected in her green eyes, which made me smile even wider. Soon, we were sitting there like children on Christmas eve, smiling and laughing with tears of joy in our eyes and surrounded by dancing feathers. When I finally threw my arms around her, they all gently started to fall down on us like snowflakes.

"It's really true, Elena," Bonnie repeated, whispering as if she still didn't dare to voice it aloud. "I'm a witch!"

 

BONNIE

It had taken quite a while to believe it myself. Just the evening before, in one of my training sessions with grams that had been purely theoretical so far, she had shown me how to do this: to clear my mind and focus at the same time, to find and feel the power around me, to draw on it, to form and use it to influence things and make them bend to my will. It was amazing. Only when I had made it happen did I finally believe that this whole world out there that she had been talking about was actually real.

I couldn't tell Elena everything I had learned so far. Witches, apparently, were a clandestine lot and very intent on guarding their secrets. I had the suspicion that grams was still withholding a lot of information from me - things she deemed too dangerous or too overwhelming to share with me yet. But I needed to share this truth about me with my best friend in the world.

And I was happy that Elena – just like I had thought she would – was totally positive and supportive about it. I didn't want to be considered a freak by my friends, and according to grams, this was a problem that she had had to deal with before.

"How could you even think that?" Elena scolded, when I told her about gram's concerns, and pulled me into another hug. "You're my dearest friend, we've been together since those golden sandbox days. I would still love you if you grew antennas on your head."

"Likewise," I laughed. "Though the chances that you could tell me something that could possibly shock me are slim. But speaking of news: How was your evening with Stefan?" I knew the two of them had been going out yesterday. If it hadn't been for my own exciting news I would long before have enquired about her evening. And about the necklace Elena was wearing. I hadn't noticed it on her before. "Is that necklace new? I can't remember seeing it before..."

"Brand new. It's a gift Stefan gave me yesterday. It's supposed to be a lucky charm. Not that I need it now that my best friend can weave all her magic on me!"

"I wish! But I'm not there yet. Grams showed me these old spellbooks yesterday. They're written in a language that sounds like Latin gibberish to me. I remember that they also have chapter about bespelling jewelry. Just a day ago, I would have laughed about this, but now..."

"Who knows – Stefan might have a witchy friend, too."

"It's beautiful." The necklace truly was a beautiful piece of art. It looked like nothing I had ever seen before: The style was neither modern or classic, nor something ethnic. Most likely, the design was utterly unique. "So, how are things going between you and Stefan?"

Elena shrugged. "They're going..." She said vaguely. I raised my brows, slightly taken aback by her evasiveness. I hardly ever made an overture to discuss boys-things with her – I'm not Caroline. So she must know that this wasn't me trying to pry some juicy details of her love life out of her, but me expressing interest and concern. "Wow. That's an enlightening answer. Am I mistaken or do you not want to discuss Stefan with me?"

"No, no, that's not it", Elena quickly assured me, before she let out a deep sigh. She seemed unsure of herself.

"Then what is it?" I asked, more gently.

"It's that I'm not sure where things are going. I like Stefan, very much so, despite his secretiveness. He's kind and compassionate, and easy to talk to. I comfortable around him – it's nice to be with him. Somehow, I feel connected to him, like he's some part of me that I always missed. He makes me feel sheltered and cared for. It sounds ridiculous, but it's as if wherever he is, is a place where I belong." How strange. She almost described him exactly like I would have done – if he wasn't her boyfriend. Except that I would have added ridiculously handsome and exciting to the list, and might have mentioned that I was strangely tongue-tied around him. Or that he had the most sensuous lips and longest lashes I had ever seen on a man.

"Then how come you're not? With him, I mean. You two are together all the time, and yet you don't seem to be – you know – making out..." Maybe there was hope for me. Though truly, I shouldn't and I didn't wish for that. Not if it made Elena unhappy.

Elena heaved another sigh. "I don't know. I'm just not sure if he feels the same about me. He's never made a move that indicated he wanted anything more than my friendship."

"He gave you jewelry... not exactly the kind of gift you exchange between friends."

"Yes, but even that didn't exactly feel like a romantic gesture." She probably was over-interpreting. How could he not be into her? Elena was such a kind-hearted person herself, and beautiful. The two of them made a perfect couple.

"Sure he's not gay or something...?" I didn't really believe that myself. But how else could you logically explain his reluctance?

Elena looked at me as if the thought had never occurred to her. "Oh, no! He can't be." When I returned her gaze with quizzically raised brows and some amount of skepticism, she added: "I'm sure he would have said something by now, or Alys would have hinted it. She drops cryptic hints about Damon all the time. Although I have no clue what those are about."

"Maybe he's just too gentlemanly... in contrast to his creepy foster-brother. That one still scares the hell out of me just by walking into the room. Doesn't he have that effect on you?"

Elena shrugged. "He sure tries..."

"But?"

"I don't know. Something's making me wonder if it's not all an act – like he does it on purpose: To keep people away, so nobody gets anywhere near him."

"Well, it sure works on me! So, what about you? Are you attracted to him physically?"

"Damon?"

"No! Stefan, of course!" I said, mildly aghast that she could even have mistaken my question. There was another sigh from her, this time carrying a note of insecurity and doubt. "I'm not sure. I should be. But then – maybe it's still too early, I think I'm not ready for a relationship yet. It didn't work with Matt, after all. We're great as friends, but that's obviously all there is. Maybe it's me – and I'm simply not capable of passionate love."

"Don't be stupid. It will happen when the time is right for you. Trust me on this."

"Is that a prediction from someone psychic?"

"No. This is me, as a friend and a woman, reassuring you that you're totally normal and that love will happen eventually."

Elena smiled. "I like that better."


	9. Ordinary People

ELENA

The exhibition of Mystic Falls Historic Society took place at the Lockwoods' house. Carol Lookwood took great pride in hosting all kinds of community events – she probably figured it fell within her responsibility as the town's mayor. Or maybe she thought it increased her chances of being re-elected. To give her credit, she really was investing a lot of time and effort into the community. When she had asked if I was willing to lend a few of our family heirlooms to the exhibition, I had been happy to help. It still amazed me how soon I had come to think of this little town as home again. Events like this made me feel like I belonged.

Jenna seemed oddly uptight as we walked up to the brightly lit mansion. Unlike me, she was nervous about meeting her old high school acquaintances again. I always forgot that she had grown up here, too, gone to college, just like we did. She had left right after graduation and hardly ever came back to visit.

"What's the matter, Jenna?" I asked, when she stopped for a last check of hair and make-up. "Anybody special there tonight who you're hoping to impress?"

"Yes. No. Well, sort of. I bet Logan is gonna be here..."

"Logan Fell? What's with him?"

"Logan Scum Fell!" she huffed disdainfully. "He's one of the reasons why I left this town and never came back. We dated while in college."

"Oh... that bad, huh?"

"Worse! I heard he's with a local public network company, now. With a little bit of luck, he'll have gained about 60 pounds and lost all of his hair..."

I grinned. "No matter if he did – once he sees you, he'll regret he lost you, for sure. You look great!" It was no lie. Jenna, who was in her mid thirties, looked at least 5 years younger, and with her soft, reddish tinted hair, her cream colored complexion and those few lovely freckles, she looked like an Irish sprite.

"Thanks, Elena! You look quite lovely yourself, by the way. That orange-golden dress is so cute, and I love what you did with your hair! Just watch out with those heels – they're killers, at least to the male population. So, let's go and see who's all there to impress..."

She took hold of my arm as if I was her very best friend and not her niece slash stepdaughter, and we both walked up the torch-lit path to the main entrance.

As usual with parties at the Lockwood house, the hostess had outdone herself. Carol, who had been Mystic Falls' Mayor ever since her husband had died from cancer, welcomed us with an inviting smile and made sure that we were introduced and made comfortable before seeing to the next arrivals, bestowing the same attention on them.

I looked around for Caroline and Bonnie and soon spotted them talking animatedly to a tall guy who was standing with his back to us. It wasn't Damon, but he seemed vaguely familiar. "Mr. Saltzman!" I exclaimed surprised, when he turned around. "I hadn't expected to see you here..."

"Hello, Elena!" he greeted me with a friendly, though slightly awkward smile. "I was sort of dragged along."

"I told him he really had to come and take a look at Mystic Falls's local treasures..." another voice chimed in. I turned to see Damon, who had obviously been fetching drinks for Caroline and Bonnie. "Besides, Mrs. Lockwood serves an excellent brand of whiskey."

"Well, the committee will surely be happy that their exhibition excites so much interest even with experts," I said, wondering if Damon's comment was meant to be honest or ironic. It was always hard to tell with him. "Jenna – this is Mr. Saltzman, head of the History department, and Damon Salvatore, Alys's brother and recently appointed research fellow."

"Nice to meet you, Jenna...?" Mr. Saltzman flashed her a particularly friendly smile.

"Jenna, Jenna Gilbert. I'm Elena's aunt and step-mom. Nice to meet you too, Mr. Saltzman."

"Alaric. But please, call me Ric." Caroline and Bonnie suppressed a giggle, and I had to fight smiling, too. That was quite an impressive name – Professor Alaric Saltzman. But Jenna seemed to find everything else about him equally impressive, judging by the look she gave him as they shook hands. She was practically salivating. Well, that solved the Logan problem, because 'Alaric' seemed to like what he saw just as much.

A little belatedly, Jenna turned to shake hands with Damon, too. "The famous Damon Salvatore, huh? I've heard quite a lot about you..."

Probably from Caroline, rhapsodizing. "That's me!" Damon replied, smiling cockily. "But I bet half of what you heard isn't true, and you probably only heard half of it. Ric, do you mind giving me a helping hand in getting these ladies a drink, too?"

"Sure! We'll be right back – just don't go anywhere."

"That is your history professor?" Jenna inquired with a 'wow' look on her face as soon as Damon and Alaric were out of earshot. "He's ridiculously hot – and so is Damon. Whatever happened to tweed jackets and flies and nerds with thick glasses?"

"They're still young, Jenna. Give it a few years, and the University world will be back to normal," I said, shrugging. Jenna and Caroline gave me a incredulous look. "Never ever!" they both exclaimed with one voice, before they burst into giggles.

"Anyway," Jenna sighed. "Looking at Ric makes me long to go to college again..."

"No use." I threw a meaningful glance in Caroline's direction. "No student-teacher relationships allowed. You're in a much better position as a parent. There's always the occasional parent-teacher conference. Perhaps I could do something that requires an urgent appointment with Mr. Saltzman..."

"Don't you dare! I hope I can get him to invite me on a date during the course of the evening..." Jenna's eyes took a look of determination and I started to pity my professor, who had no clue that he had just been turned into prey.

Eventually, Jenna managed to lure him away from us by feigning interest in the exhibition pieces and asking him for a guided tour. Caroline was dragged away by Mrs. Lockwood, probably for an interrogation and – in case she stood the test – to be talked into joining one of the town's committees. Mrs. Lockwood was always eager to get the local youth involved in the town's activities. I guess Caroline might actually be the ideal candidate. She had always been good at organizing things, and she loved being in charge. Despite her somewhat iridescent personality, she was a perfectionist at heart, and if she set her mind on something, she was pretty much unstoppable.

Bonnie and I ended up alone with Damon, who eyed her with interest. "So, Elena told me you're a witch?" Damon asked, as if it was a common conversation starter. Bonnie shot me a surprised glance, and I hastened to explain. "I mentioned it to him some time ago, while we were still joking about", I said, before she could get the wrong impression and think that I had spilled her secret to Damon, of all people. "Damon is actually investigating the mystic aspects of local history and believes in vampires, werewolves and leprechauns."

Damon cocked his head. "There are no leprechauns in Virginia," he pointed out with great solemnity, before focusing on the lapse in my defensive comment. "You said 'while you were thinking of it as a jokeʼ. So I take it that you are no longer of that opinion?"

I could have bitten my tongue. Stupid me. You really had to watch your mouth in Damon's presence, he really picked up on everything. I helplessly looked to Bonnie, not sure how to maneuver myself out of this.

Bonnie came to my rescue. "Well, from someone who believes that magic might actually exist to someone who believes in mystical creatures: Yes."

I had to give him credit: He didn't break into laughter. "As we all suspect, there are more things between heaven and earth than we dare to dream..." he said pensively. "Not so long ago, there was even a lady who taught classes about mysticism and occultism at Greenville College. Sheila Bennett. I take it that you know her?"

"That's my grams!" Bonnie exclaimed, somewhat proudly. Well, that sure was a new development. Up until recently, Bonnie had mostly been rolling her eyes when someone mentioned Sheila and her witchcraft.

"So you're even a Bennett witch," Damon remarked with newly piqued interest.

"How do you know Sheila?"

"I know somebody who knew a distant relative of hers," Damon replied vaguely. If Bonnie noticed, she chose not to push for more details. "And what's so special about being a Bennett witch as opposed to being any other witch?" she inquired.

Damon shrugged. "They come from a long line of very powerful witches. You're definitively about to walk in great footsteps." He took another sip of his drink. From the look of the amber liquid in his glass it was whiskey again. He really seemed to be into the hard stuff. "From what I've heard, your grandmother is quite a formidable and astounding woman, herself..."

Bonnie still seemed oddly suspicious of him. "How come you know so much about my ancestors?"

"Like Elena said – I'm interested in the supernatural aspects of Mystic Falls's history. There's a reason why the town bears this name. There have always been rumors about supernatural forces having a hand in the past events. Here, take this church incident, for example..."

He beckoned us over to a model of a wooden church that a diligent member of the society had painstakingly put together. "This was a private chapel on the property of one of the towns founder families. It was burned to the ground during the Civil war – with 13 people in it."

"The Pierces's family chapel," I nodded. After all, my parents had been members of the Historic Society, so I wasn't totally ignorant of our town's history. "We all know that it was burned down, but I never heard of any victims..."

"Murder is not something to be proud of, so people chose to forget it ever happened."

"Murder?"

"Well, it was in the middle of the war, and the thirteen who were locked into the chapel before it was set on fire had been accused of being traitors. Townspeople called it justice. However, according to some of the old journals, they had been identified not as traitors but as vampires. Locking them into the church and setting it on fire was the council's way of ridding the town of all evil."

"I guess you're not supposed to take those journals literally", I objected. "At least one of them was written by a forefather of mine, Jonathan Gilbert. He was a little crazy, and I mean that quite literally."

"Well, you're probably right. As we all know there are no vampires, right?" Damon winked at Bonnie and me before his attention was rather vigorously demanded by Caroline. She was glowing with excitement, a huge smile on her face, as she approached. "Guess what!" she exclaimed, beaming at us. "Carol Lockwood just asked me to become a member of the Mystic Falls Festival Committee. They're the ones organizing all the local activities, like the annual Founders Ball, the Miss Mystic Falls Beauty Pageant, the New Years Holiday Ball and the Spring Festival. And since we're here every other weekend anyway, I thought it'd be really nice participate... What?" She stopped in the middle of her rapture, finally taking notice of our rather stupefied expressions.

"Nothing, Caroline," I said, trying so sound serious while stifling my laughter. "It's great, really. You would definitely be an asset to any committee, and I bet Mrs Lockwood was able to see that. You should tell Damon what all those events are about – he's very interested in local culture and traditions. Come on, Bonnie, let's see if we can find Matt and give these turtle doves some quality time. I wanted to ask if he has any news on Vicky."

Quickly, before Caroline could launch into colorful descriptions of planned events and all the ideas she probably already had to make them even better, I pulled Bonnie out of harm's way. Damon shot me a killing glance, which I returned with a sweet smile. Served him right. Time for him to fulfill his boyfriend duties outside of the bedroom. Okay – scratch that. Mental cinema, unasked pictures. Not going there.

We found Matt easily enough, he was hanging out with Tyler, as far away from the ruckus as possible. Tyler had smuggled a bottle of hard liquor out of the bar, and it seemed as if they both had already been indulging. They seemed to find almost anything we said hilarious and kept laughing their heads off. Since there was no ground for any kind of decent conversation, it was either join in their fun and get buzzed or head off. Bonnie decided to join, I took a trip to the powder room.

While refreshing my lip gloss, Caroline burst in, still figuratively letting off sparkles of rainbow dust. Obediently, I listened to how awesome Mrs. Lockwood was, and how she was going to love organizing all these events – except for the beauty pageant, of course, which she'd much rather participate in as a contestant. Since Damon had already absorbed the first shock waves of her rapture, it was actually possible to get in a word or two.

"Well, I'm glad that you found something in Mystic Falls that piques your interest."

"Oh, I found more than one thing that piques my interest", Caroline said with a conspirative smile. "Damon has been spicing things up, too!"

"Please, spare me the details!"

Caroline rolled her eyes and pulled her lipstick out of her handbag. Meeting my face in the mirror, she suddenly got excited again. "Oh my gosh – that necklace is gorgeous! Did you get that from Stefan? Are those stones real?" As she turned to closely examine his gift, I caught a glimpse of skin underneath the multicolored scarf that Caroline was wearing and echoed her gasp, though for utterly different reasons.

"Caroline – what happened to your neck?" I asked, pulling the material down a bit.

"Nothing," she said rather curtly, "it's a mosquito bite."

I frowned at her tone. "That must have been a pretty big mosquito! It got you several times, and your skin is all red and swollen. Since when are you allergic to insects?"

Caroline brushed my hand away and readjusted the scarf, hiding the bruised skin underneath. "I don't know – it's probably a different species here than in California. Never mind. It doesn't bother me, it's not even itching. It just looks nasty, and make-up won't totally cover it, I've tried."

"Well, I guess the scarf came in handy, then. It's pretty."

"Isn't it?" She smiled happily again. "Damon gave it to me as a present. Exquisite, just like the necklace. So – is it a gift of Stefan's?"

"Yes."

She slightly pouted. "I think I'm envious. The scarf is nice, but jewelry... now, that's a totally different gift-level."

"Gift level? I didn't even know that there are levels for gifts..."

"Sure there are. On the first level, it's pralinés and flowers, next comes something more personal, like maybe a gingerbread heart, a scarf or something for your hair. Third level presents are perfumes and jewelry."

"Just out of curiosity: Is there another level after that?"

"Sure there is: Frillies and lingerie. Eventually, a wedding ring."

I briefly wondered where tickets to a baseball match came in. They probably didn't even rank as presents. "Still a long way to go..."

"You're telling me!" She smacked her lips, snapped her lipstick case shut and put it back in her purse. "Back to battle!"

I rolled my eyes as she sauntered out, not really knowing what to do with myself. I didn't want do spoil Jenna's flirting with Mr. Saltzman, nor Caroline's tête-à-tête with Damon. I decided to get some fresh air and stepped out the open patio doors to the lush garden. The most spectacular blooming bushes were illuminated by hidden spotlights, which turned the entire garden into a checkerboard of light and dark. Taking in the mild evening air, I aimlessly followed a trail that let to the pond. Or did it deserve to be called a lake? Not thinking of anything in particular and listening to the background chorus of croaking frogs and chirping crickets, I nearly got a heart attack when one of the nearby shadows actually sprang to life as I almost walked into it.

"Oh my God! Damon! You scared me to death!"

"Me? You're the one who nearly jumped on me!" Small wonder. Why did he always have to wear black, anyway? With his close-fitted button-up, the coal black dress pants and his raven hair he was almost invisible in the dark.

I tried to calm my rapidly beating heart. "Just – what are you doing here, lurking in the shadows like some..."

"... Werewolf? Vampire? Leprechaun?" He grinned. "I'm sorry." Then, lowering his voice to a secretive whisper he confided: "Actually, I'm hiding – from Caroline."

"Why is that?" I asked back in a hushed voice, playing along.

"I needed a break. She talks faster than I can listen."

"That could be a sign." I meant it as a mild, sarcastic insult to his intelligence, but I wasn't sure if he caught on to that.

"Probably. I don't see it going anywhere in the bigger picture, anyway. She'd drive me crazy."

This had me frowning. "Caroline does have some annoying traits, but we've been friends since first grade and that means something to me."

"Duly noted!" he said, giving me that weird look again that I couldn't interpret. His whole attitude might have been flirty, if Damon wasn't constantly wearing that aura of cockiness – as if it was only natural for women to make sheep's eyes at him. Knowing that Caroline was totally unable to read these signals made my hackles rise.

"You know – given that you don't seem to like Caroline all that much," I said, probably sounding pissed, "why don't you just go and direct your attentions elsewhere?"

"Ah, well – she'd probably be thoroughly disappointed if I did."

"She'll get over it fast enough. Just because she's falling fast for a pretty face doesn't mean she's heartbroken just as easily. However, if you should strive to be the man to accomplish that, I swear I'm gonna make you regret it!"

He sighed. "Just why is it that everybody is warning me away from somebody these days?" he asked, clearly not taking any of this seriously. In fact, there was some of his mocking arrogance seeping through, and that ticked me off even more.

"You know, it's really good that you're asking yourself these questions..." I said, mimicking his tone.

"Yeah," he agreed. "That's what my therapist keeps telling me..."

"Well, I'm pleased to hear that you do have a therapist, because you're truly in need of professional help."

"Ouch!" His mouth twitched in mock pain, then turned into naughty a grin. "You know, you've really got spunk, Elena", he said, leaning in a bit, his eyes lighting up as they were boring into mine. "You're smart, too, and feisty... and really beautiful, but I guess you already know that..." I suddenly felt like a deer in the headlights. His face was only inches away from mine as he murmured close to my ear: "I'm beginning to think that I have started out with the wrong girl..." His voice was all honey and seduction, despite the offensiveness of his words. I had the weird feeling that his eyes were searching for something, as if he was trying to seize me, but failing to get a hold.

Something in me snapped. I slapped his face, hard. "You arrogant bastard! How dare you say something like that to my face after making out with Caroline? – Look, I don't know what game you're trying to play here, but I definitely don't want to be part of it. So let's get one thing straight: I'm not Caroline, and I'm neither falling for a pretty face nor a honeyed voice, and since that's all you've got, I suggest you go and hunt elsewhere!" With that, I turned on my heels and left him standing there, touching his jaw and looking puzzled.

*'*'*'*'*'*

ALYS

As usual, I had stayed at home most of the weekend, packing a few items that I wanted to take back to Greenville. The dorm room hadn't been spacious enough to bring everything I would have liked to have with me, but the boarding house sure was. When all the stuff was safely put away in two boxes, I headed off for the library.

As much as I despised public places in general, I liked the atmosphere of quiet there, and given that people tended to keep to themselves, I didn't even mind the other visitors. To my surprise, I ran into Elena's cousin Jeremy this time – which seemed odd. From what I had learned about him, library people and books were not really his crowd.

He smiled when I told him so, acknowledging his reputation as potential trouble maker with neither pride nor remorse. "True enough," he said. "But people can always change, can't they?"

I wasn't sure about that, but the thought was surely intriguing. "What made you decide to try?"

He shrugged. "I got a new English teacher. He's pretty cool. He's also new to town and doesn't know anything about anybody. He offered me a fresh start with a clean slate. It would be kind of stupid to turn down an opportunity like that, right?"

Yes. The opportunity to start anew, with a clean slate. Was I going to get such a fresh start with Damon? "You're right, it'd be stupid to turn it down. But most of the time, there's a catch..."

He grinned. "There is. I have to write an essay on poets of the 19th century and their works, to earn some credits. Thus this trip to the library. I just don't really know where to get started..." His gaze wandered along the lines of shelves, and for a moment, he looked like a lost puppy. Which was kind of funny on a guy of his height and with those biceps.

I happened to adore puppies. I'd always wanted to have one. But I couldn't deny being impressed by his physique, either. Since I was pretty much an expert on 19th century poetry, I offered my help, and Jeremy gladly accepted.

Reading poetry, choosing and discarding authors, interpreting their work and putting it in context with their background was actually a lot of fun. As it turned out, Jeremy was a pretty smart kid who even managed to impress me a time or two with his views on things. I just had to remind myself constantly that I wasn't supposed to feel any kind of attraction to him, for various reasons.

It wasn't exactly easy. He was definitely handsome and fun to talk to – and to top it all off, he smelled incredibly good. I really had to control myself not to actually sniff him when sitting next to him. I wondered what Elena would say if she knew what kind of thoughts I'd been entertaining while being around her little cousin. Another thing to add to my growing list of things to feel guilty about. Why did life only ever get more complicated, and never easier?

Since Stefan had already headed back to Greenville on Saturday morning after his evening with Elena, I was left to drive back with the girls on Sunday. Unfortunately, my boxes didn't fit into the car, since everybody had brought their laundry. I would have to ask Stefan to pick them up for me next time he came around. There was nothing in there that I needed urgently, Damon had pretty much stocked me up on everything. The room in the boarding house was ready for my take-over.

Elena was unusually quiet this evening when we were back in our dorm room. Something seemed to be bothering her, I had already noticed it during the ride here. Obviously she didn't want to talk about it then. At least, that's how I had interpreted the glances she had given me while answering my questions about the evening rather vaguely.

"You were right about your brother, Alys," she said now, angrily tossing her freshly washed clothes back into the chest. "Can you believe it – he actually hit on me, right after telling me that his intentions with Caroline weren't honest!" Well, yes, actually, that sounded a lot like Damon. And his intentions with girls were never honest – or at least they hadn't been for roughly a century.

"Have you talked to Caroline about it?" I asked, not quite knowing what to say.

"No. She wouldn't believe me, anyway. She thinks I'm just jealous, can you believe it! It's ridiculous, he's treating her like dirt and she refuses to see it. She's behaving like some of these women who get beaten up by their husbands and still adore them."

Something in my face made Elena frown. "You don't look surprised..."

Of course I wasn't. There was an easy explanation for Caroline's behavior – if only I could be honest and offer it to her. Which I couldn't. But I was so sick of lying, of being evasive, of being vague. This was driving me insane. I didn't want to lose the only friend I had found in years. I sighed. "No, I'm not. It's just something Damon does..." I didn't quite know how to finish this sentence and was struggling for words. Only when I noticed Elena's horror-stricken expression did it occur to me that my sentence, left hanging like that, had taken on a totally different meaning.

"What are you saying? Does Damon have a history of being violent and abusive?"

"No! Hell, no," I quickly corrected myself, "That's not what I meant!" God, Damon would so kill me for even implying it. He could be quite aggressive and impulsive, and I had seen him commit cold-blooded murder, but even though he used women as he pleased, he wouldn't ever hit or violate them. I had gotten this all wrong. "It's just – there are different ways in which you can use and hurt someone," I finally replied – vaguely, hoping that it would be enough. It obviously wasn't.

"Alys – just what are you trying to tell me?" Elena pushed for an explanation that would actually make some sense.

"Nothing! I'm just telling you that Damon is – well, I don't think he's been honest with either of you..." And neither was I. Otherwise I would tell her to run as fast as she could and just get away from both of us. Frustrated, I opened my wardrobe and started to pull out clothes, shoving them in the suitcase instead of the other way round. "You can have my half of the closet now, too," I said instead. "There's no point in ruining those freshly ironed shirts and dresses by squeezing them into yours."

Elena sighed wistfully. "You're really going through with moving in with him, right? Regardless of how tense things are between you?"

"You are the one who's always advocating second chances. Maybe we'll be able to sort it out. And even if not: With my moving to the boarding house, Damon will have a watchful pair of eyes on his back all the time. I can keep an eye on Caroline, too."

"You're really getting me worried, Alys. Surely it can't be that bad?"

"Trust me on this, Elena. Just stay away from Damon, and I'll do my best to keep him away from Caroline."


	10. No Exit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Admittedly, this chapter was very much Twilight-inspired. I promise that no one's going to sparkle, though. ;)

ELENA

After the incident at the Lockwoods', I fully intended to stay away from Damon. But unfortunately, he didn't play along. While I had successfully managed to avoid running into him on campus for an entire day after coming back from Mystic Falls, he cornered me on Tuesday morning on my way to the gym. I was just stepping out of the shadowy dorm building, and the morning sun was blinding my eyes. I almost passed him by without noticing him in the shadows.

"Elena – wait!" he called, suddenly appearing right next to me and catching my arm.

"Damon!" I gasped, startled. "You scared me again! Is that a new hobby of yours? What do you want from me?" I wriggled free of his grip and nervously folded my arms in front of my chest. Despite Alys's assurances, I couldn't get over the fear that he was hiding a violent streak behind his beautiful facade. Doubtlessly, he could be cold-blooded and utterly ruthless, especially when set on a goal.

Damon seemed to have noticed my discomfort. He frowned and looked at me with those inquisitive eyes of his, that always seemed to see more that they were supposed to see. To my surprise he backed off a little, retreating out of my personal space.

"Actually, I wanted to apologize for being such a world-class jerk on Saturday evening. What I said to you was unasked for and incredibly rude." He looked like he was being honest, or at least, he tried to look like he was.

I skeptically raised my brow. "And I'm supposed to believe you actually mean that?"

"Look, I'm truly sorry if I made you uncomfortable. That was never my intention."

"Yes, it was", I contradicted him. "It's just what you do, Damon – riling people up, provoking them, alienating them. Otherwise you wouldn't be putting an alternate meaning behind everything you say." I could tell from his expression that I had hit home. He seemed a little surprised, but also impressed.

"You're right", he admitted, and I believed I caught a glimpse of respect in his eyes. "And you were right with what you said about Caroline. The truth is, I have no intentions whatsoever with her, and I told her so, repeatedly. It's not my fault if she keeps hoping for a relationship. I don't handle those well."

"Yeah, I pretty much figured that out. So what you're telling me straight to my face is that you're actually using my friend as a fuck-buddy?"

Damon arched his brow. "I wouldn't have put it like that, but – with your mind in the gutter..."

"I don't get it! How can you do that to her? That's not how you treat people! Don't you realize that Caroline cares? Doesn't it matter to you at all that you're hurting her feelings?"

"Oh, come on, Elena, let's be serious for a minute! It's Caroline we're talking about, and we both know that deep feeling is not exactly her thing. She doesn't have the capacity for it. She uses me as much as I'm using her. Showing me off like some piece of jewelry. I should be offended!"

"Well, this is getting us nowhere. You can apologize all you want, Damon, but in the end, it's nothing but empty words if you're unwilling to act on them." And with that, I turned my back on him and walked away.

*'*'*'*'*'*

ELENA

"Really, Caroline, I'm not sure about this place," I murmured as we were heading towards the entrance of Greenville's most notorious night club. Caroline had been pestering me about going there for three days in a row now. According to her, it was totally cool, totally 'in' and something you couldn't miss, at least not if you still wanted to have a say within the campus community.

But this place didn't look like what I had imagined from her colorful praise at all. It was situated in a warehouse district, in what formerly seemed to have been a factory of some kind. Paint and plaster were peeling off the wall, poorly concealed by the flashing neon lights of the signs advertising the name. "It looks... wrecked. As do the people around here."

The people milling about outside the entrance were indeed a suspicious-looking lot. They were dressed in funky outfits that almost resembled gothic costumes. Probably in tribute to the name of the place: 'The Dark Side'. It all made me feel uncomfortable, but Caroline seemed immune to the sinister atmosphere. "Are you sure this is the right address?"

"Positive!" she said determinately and grabbed my arm – almost as if to prevent my bolting at the last moment. "Now, come on, this is not Mystic Falls. People are just a little bit more freaky. I know Damon usually hangs out here..."

"Damon?" I stopped dead in my tracks and stared disbelievingly at Caroline. "Is that why you wanted us to come here? So you can spy on him or have another go at him?" She didn't answer, but her slightly guilty expression was answer enough. I felt my hackles rise. "You can't be serious! Tell me we did not come here just because you are following a guy like a lovesick puppy, when he clearly is not interested in you as a person!"

She pouted. "How can you say something so mean? Of course he is interested in me – we've been dating for a couple of weeks now!"

"You can't seriously call that dating!" I exclaimed, exasperated. "He hit on you when he had barely arrived and didn't know anybody. Since then, he's only been using you as an easy lay."

Her eyes went wide as saucers at that and I felt a pang of remorse. "I can't believe you actually said that!" she wailed. Neither could I. But my point was still right, and at the moment, I was angry and not willing to put up with any more of her nonsense. "Then tell me – when did the two of you last do anything together outside of a bedroom, huh? Because that's what people do if they're really interested in each other. What have you been doing together at all, apart from the obvious?"

"That's rich, coming from you," Caroline snapped angrily, " – the girl who does nothing but idle talking with her boyfriend! I don't think you're qualified to give relationship advice; you have never even been laid!"

Wow, that was a low hit, too. I felt my blood boil. "At least Stefan cares for me and treats me well, which can't be said for Damon! You should kick his ass instead desperately trying to crawl back into his favors." It was pointless, as so many discussions with Caroline were these days. She just wouldn't see the truth. Instead, she put the blame on me.

"Easy for you to say!" she snorted. "You still have your shiny new boyfriend! You are just jealous that Damon didn't pick you." That had me speechless for a second. Not sure if I even knew the person I was facing, I could only stare at her open-mouthed, a new surge of anger rising in me. "Are you quite insane?" I finally managed to ask, before making another try to reason with her. "Caroline, this is not a competition, and neither Damon nor Stefan are a prize you can win. And I am definitely not – and never was – jealous about Damon! There's something seriously amiss with that guy, and apparently you are the only one not to notice!"

Caroline raised her chin. "Do you really think I don't see behind your scheme?" she ranted. "I know you want him for yourself – I saw the looks you gave him!"

Totally at a loss for words now, I turned my back on her. "Okay, I've had it! I'm out of here!"

"Wait! Where are you going?" Caroline came after me, intending to hold me back. "Elena! Don't! You can't go back alone!"

"Watch me!" I said and, without looking back, strove past her and headed off.

I only realized how foolish this was about ten minutes later. While my mind was still reeling with anger at Caroline's preposterous allegations, I hadn't noticed much of anything around me. Intending to head for the main street where I had spied a bus stop on coming here, I must have taken a wrong turn, because all of a sudden, nothing looked even remotely familiar. Just plain scary.

I became fearfully aware of the shady characters that prowled the streets, and the run-down bars that lined it, and hastily ventured off into another direction, hoping to get out of this district. Nervously, I pulled my mobile out, trying to locate my position by GPS. Bad move. It didn't last for two minutes, then I was forcefully shoved by some kid passing me by, and just like that, my phone was gone. My loud and frustrated wail of protest earned me nothing but a certain finger stuck up in the air, already far ahead of me. Seriously, could this evening get any worse?

Hoping to find my way back to the club, I took up walking again. At least from there, I could grab a cab, as I should have done in the first place, or finally convince Caroline to take me home. Provided she hadn't left already.

Too bad that orientation skills were not exactly high on the list of things I excelled at. It didn't take me long to realize that I had gotten out of the frying pan straight into the fire. The streets now were desolate and empty, dominated by barricaded stores and abandoned warehouses. There wasn't much traffic, either. When I finally did spot people on the next street corner, I didn't feel relief. The three guys who were hanging out in the shadowy, shuttered entrance of a run-down building were quite obviously up to no good. Whether they were dealing, consuming or preparing a break-in, I couldn't say, for I didn't take the time to investigate or even risk a closer look. Cursing my own stupidity, I just switched to the other side of the street, hastened my steps and made myself as inconspicuous as possible. Hoping that, if I didn't take notice of them, they might not take notice of me. Fat chance.

I thought I had gotten out of a possibly risky situation when I looked back and saw no one following me. Up ahead, I could even make out an intersection with traffic lights and walked faster. Until a shadowy figure stepped out of a small side lane, purposely blocking my way.

I gasped and stopped dead in my tracks. How had he made it there? Probably by simply walking through the building instead of all way around it. I felt my heartbeat accelerate and instinctively took a step back.

Looking behind me now, I saw that the other two had followed me at a leisurely pace and were now rounding the corner. There was only one possible escape route to my left, and I took it, immediately turning right again to where I knew the bigger street must be crossing this one.

I never made it there. Guessing my intention and probably knowing that whatever they had in mind for me would be much more difficult to carry out near a more trafficked street, the three quickened their pace and swiftly closed in on me, giving up any pretense of just messing around. My own heartbeat loud in my ear, I broke into a run.

*'*'*'*'*

ALYS

Determined not to miss my opportunity for second chances and to try to put some sense into Damon regarding my best friend's friend, I had thrown my suitcase onto the back seat of Damon's open-top Camaro shortly before he headed home. To give him credit, Damon had refrained from making any sarcastic, snarky or witty comment on my relatively spontaneous decision to move in with him immediately. He had just raised his brows briefly, beckoned me to jump in and had started the car.

The last two days had passed surprisingly peacefully. We saw each other briefly in the morning, before Damon drove us both to campus. In the evenings, he was mostly out. I learned that he hung out with Alaric a lot, whereas Caroline had not even once appeared at the door of the boarding house.

I loved having the house to myself. Yes, I was definitely a loner girl. This evening, I had happily curled up on the sofa in front of the fireplace with a book when my phone started beeping. The number on the display told me it was Caroline. Wondering what she could be calling about, I picked up the phone.

Caroline was frantic. She urgently needed to speak to Damon, but he was ignoring her calls. "You've got to call him for me, Alys, it's an emergency. Please! He must be around here somewhere, but I can't find him..."

"Here? Where are you, Caroline?"

"At 'The Dark Side'. You know, the club in the warehouse district?"

I felt my heart sink. "Caroline, you really shouldn't be there, just..."

"No, no! You need to listen! I need Damon – immediately... I lost Elena – we were both here, and then we had a fight and she left, all by herself. I can't find her, and I have a really bad feeling about her being out there alone without a car, and she doesn't answer her phone..."

"Oh my God! When did she leave?"

"About five minutes ago."

"Okay. Listen, Caroline: I want you to drive back to campus immediately, all right? I'll call Damon and have him look for her."

"How? I mean – he wouldn't even know where to start... this is not Mystic Falls."

"Don't worry, he'll find her. Now, I'm gonna hang up on you so that I can call Damon, okay? Get into your car and head home. Elena will be back safe and sound."

I ended the call and speed-dialed Damon's number. He was furious when he heard that Caroline had been following him around, and fuming mad when he learned that Elena had left the club all by herself. "What was she thinking, even to come here? Is she quite insane?"

"She couldn't have known it was a hunting ground, Damon."

"It's insane even if it wasn't, there's enough human scum hanging about here."

"Stop fussing and see if you can find her. She can't have gotten very far."

"I'm already on my way. I'll probably kill her when I find her." With that, the line went dead.

*'*'*'*'*

ELENA

I had already known that I wouldn't be able to outrun my pursuers even before I tried. Way before the intersection that promised salvation, the three caught up with me. Circling in on me, they effectively blocked any escape route. Their intent was obviously to drive me backward into an even darker alley. Panicky, my eyes scanned the fronts of the houses for a door or a window that hinted at occupancy, but there was nothing.

I decided to try a break-through, to at least not to go down without fighting, and made a dash for the space between two of them. When one of them grabbed me, I wildly started kicking and hurled my purse, hitting hard. I didn't stand a chance. One of them finally managed to get a secure hold on me from behind, painfully twisting my arms backwards. When the other two leered and reached for me, I started to scream.

I was pretty sure I had met my destiny when the dirty hand of my attacker closed my mouth shut from behind, stifling my scream and making it almost impossible to breathe. I tried to bite him, but didn't really manage to clamp my teeth on anything. He just laughed and lowered his hand, sliding it downwards to the buttons of my blouse and giving a hard jerk. Kicking and trashing wildly once again in the futile attempt to save myself from being raped, I felt a spur of hope when I suddenly saw the headlights of a car approaching rapidly. With my attacker's attention diverted for a second, I forcefully sank my teeth into the wrist that was still close to my mouth, and simultaneously kicked down hard on the inner side of his foot. Fortunately, I was wearing pretty high heels.

With a howl of pain, he tore his hand a away and cringed, and suddenly I was free. I jumped onto the street without thinking, intending to stop the car at all costs. It almost stopped me for good.

With screeching breaks it came to a halt just in front of me, the front bumper almost touching my shins. Too shocked to move, I just stood there for a second or two – until a hand enclosed my arm in an iron grip and pulled me away.

Fearing that one of the men had managed to get a hold of me again I looked around in panic, but the eyes I met were familiar. Immense relief washed over me when I gazed up into Damon's face. He scanned me briefly with an expression that under any other circumstances would have been scary. He looked like a man ready to kill – menacing, brutal and ruthless. Yet I could only marvel at the sudden feeling of security that invaded me the very moment he laid his hands on me.

"Get in the car!" he said tersely, his eyes burning into mine. His order enabled me to move again, and I did as asked without thinking. From inside, I was watching the scene in front of me like a spectator of a horror movie. Instead of getting back into the car himself as I had expected him to, Damon walked straight at the three men, who spread out, momentarily surprised at his foolish bravery.

Damon kept going at the one of them who was furthest away from him, closer to the dark lane on the left, turning his back on the others. I fought the urge to shout a warning, aware on a subconscious level that Damon surely must be knowing what he was doing. The men didn't seem to think so. The other two closed in on him from behind, driving him into the alley. It all seemed to take place in slow motion.

Anxious for him but utterly unable to move, I stayed where Damon had told me to be. The only thing racing was my mind, tossing around possible action plans and evaluating my chances for an quick escape in case things turned nasty. As I was slowly coming out of basic-level functioning mode, I was able to take in what was happening more clearly. Damon disappeared in the shadows and the men followed. That's when it struck me. He wasn't being chased. They were being herded. I heard a piercing scream and a lout thud, more howling and the noise of running feet. Then, suddenly, silence.

Oddly enough, that's when I started to feel really scared and my limbs began to tremble in aftershock. It was impossible to tell how much time had gone by when Damon finally stepped out of the shadows again. There was an air about him that I wasn't able to put in words. His eyes seemed to glow, and there was a strange expression on his face. He looked oddly elated, probably flooded with adrenalin from the fight. Yet there was a notable tension in his movements, even in his features that seemed strained and carefully controlled. Warned by some deep, primal instinct, I hardly dared to breathe for fear of triggering something that was beyond my capabilities to cope with. Not that the thought made any sense.

Damon didn't say anything, either. He just gave me a quick once-over and tossed me his jacket, before starting the car with spinning wheels. Soon we were on a highway taking us out of town at a frightening speed.

"Where are we going?" I eventually dared to ask timidly, pulling Damon's jacket closed around me to cover my torn blouse. I was beginning to wonder if I had just gotten myself in a situation that held even more potential for danger than the one I just escaped from. It felt like sitting on a bomb that could go off any second.

"Nowhere specific!" Damon growled. "I'm just trying to let off steam!"

"I see. After that street gang failed to get us killed you are trying to finish us off on the road." My remark was intended to be mildly ironic, but I actually managed to sound very matter-of-fact saying it. Obviously, Damon didn't appreciate my attempt at humor. Abruptly, he steered the car onto the banks and forcefully hit the brake. Shutting the engine off he turned to face me, visibly upset.

"Are you out of your mind?" he started at me. "How can you even think about criticizing my driving after the thrill that you got yourself tonight? Have you no sense for danger?"

"Obviously, I have." I countered with dignity. "Or else I wouldn't be desperately clinging to my seat just now!"

Damon was livid. "What the hell were you thinking – taking off all by yourself just like that?" I got a little bit defensive, maybe because I knew pretty well that I had done something stupid. "Clearly, I wasn't thinking. I was just too mad at Caroline."

"Do you realize at all what would have happened if I hadn't found you in time?"

That sobered me. "I have a fair idea..." I mumbled faintly. "I'm sure glad you found me, though I don't understand how. How did you know where to look for me?"

"Caroline called for help. She was worried to death about you."

I felt a wave of guilt wash over me. "I know – I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry! And truly grateful that she sent you after me." I shuddered, thinking how close I had come to meeting my destiny tonight. If it hadn't been for Damon, I'd most likely have found myself gang-raped and in the emergency room of a hospital just now – or in the morgue. It made me pale and tremble just thinking about it, now. Damon's grim expression softened. "Apology accepted," he said, his voice sounding less forced than it had up to now. "Please accept mine, too."

I returned his gaze in utter amazement. That didn't sound like Damon at all. "Your apology for what?"

"For shouting at you and frightening you even more when you are clearly shaken badly enough as it is."

"I'm fine," I said, which was one hell of an exaggeration. "You're not frightening me." For some unfathomable reason, he didn't seem to like the answer, either. "That's a reason for concern," he said, frowning again. "You could use a healthy dose of fear."

"Believe me, those jerks just gave me plenty."

Damon gave me a scrutinizing glance. "Considering what just happened to you, you seem awfully composed."

"I'm not, really. I'm just very good at blocking things." And for the moment I simply refused to let my thoughts go back there. I would deal with it later.

"It's the adrenalin. You'll break down soon enough. Let's just get you home before that happens." He restarted the car and pulled back on the road, this time driving a little bit more safely.

"How did you manage to fend them off?" I wondered aloud. "You were all alone against three..."

He pretended indifference. "They were drunk, or high – probably both. I had the better reflexes. And I can be quite intimidating, if I choose to be."

I knew that to be true from firsthand experience. At least, he managed to intimidate me even when I wasn't sure if he was meaning to do so. "You scared them off? All three of them?"

"After I was done with the first one, the others didn't offer much resistance." He looked at me with an unreadable expression. "I saved you, back there, Elena." He definitely had. And as awed as I was by the fact that he seemed to care about my safety, I was vastly grateful for that, too. Before I could say something, though, he did, emphasizing his words with another meaningful glance and a lift of his brow. "Now don't you forget it!" With that weird admonition, Damon ended our conversation and headed back to campus, with only minor infractions of speed limits.

Damon dropped me off right in front of my dorm, where Caroline and Bonnie were both already anxiously waiting for me. "Keep the jacket", Damon said in a no-nonsense tone that could have been read as totally insensitive. "It looks good on you." And without even sparing a look for Caroline, he drove off again. I was grateful for the jacket, as well as for him not making a fuss about what had happened. My torn blouse successfully hidden underneath the black leather spared me a myriad of questions that I didn't want to answer. Not right then. My legs were till shaky, and I thought that Damon had been right. I was probably going to break down soon, and I'd rather make it to my room before that happened.

All I told Bonnie and Caroline was that I had got lost and that my phone had been stolen before Damon found me. There was no use in getting them all distressed with the gruesome details – Caroline looked totally guilt-stricken already. If I didn't manage to hold it together, she was going to go all mother-hen on me, and I couldn't stand that now. All I wanted was a hot shower and my bed to safely freak out in.

*'*'*'*'*

ALYS

I jumped from my chair when I heard the door open and Damon stepping in. "Have you found Elena?"I asked, already less scared when I saw him. He seemed worked-up and a bit grim, but not alarmed or worried.

"Sure. I found her. She's fine. I delivered her safely back to her dorm. I take it that Caroline made it back, too?"

"Yes. She's sorry for causing you inconvenience. Don't be mad at her."

"It was Elena who had the inconvenience," Damon said flatly. He walked to the coffee cart and poured himself a whisky, which he downed in like two seconds. And poured himself another one.

"What happened?" I asked, feeling my throat constrict. If he downed his treasured bourbon like this, it must have been bad. And was that blood on his shirt?

"Elena ran into some crack junkies who obviously thought she was fair game. I arrived in time, but barely so. She was clearly shaken, but she fought like a cat. That girl really has nerve!"

"Oh my God!" I couldn't help the pictures flooding my mind. Ugly pictures that made me want to hurl.

"Now don't get yourself all worked up," Damon chided. "Elena is fine."

"How could she be? Do you have any idea how her brother died?" His expression told me that he didn't. "He was murdered, here in Greenville. The newspapers labeled it a street crime. He was robbed and had his throat slit."

Damon's brows rose in surprise. "What a cruel and ironic quirk of fate. Still. She's tough. She'll get over it." Damon's took another sip from his drink, and when he spoke again, his voice had turned from curt and serious to snippy and snarky. "You know – I'm just getting a liiittle bit annoyed with Caroline for following me around like a love-sick puppy." He frowned, sightly shaking his head in irritation. "I'm starting to feel – chased. It's supposed to be the other way round."

I sighed. "Damon, you've got to stop what you're doing to her. She's been having gaps in her memory lately. She's starting to get concerned about those blank spots in her mind."

"And she well should be! Those spots are huge. I wonder how she ever made it to college."

"Stop being an asshole! How can you do this to her? You're dating her – she's your girlfriend."

"Did she say that? Well, I'm not. I'm just... needing her."

"You mean you're just using her!"

"Well, I didn't want to put it quite as bluntly. But don't you worry about that too much: You can't use anyone who isn't willing to be used. What would you have me do? Grab someone off the street, instead?"

"Try something non-human for a change!"

"Gosh – I've been doing that, for a while. But honestly, I can't stand venison anymore. I even tried cattle, once, but it sure feels silly. Cows are just so darn stupid – they don't even run. What's the fun in that? I wish I had Marisol with me." I had no idea who he was referring to. Probably one of his countless affairs, a woman who'd let him get away with everything. Or who was just too weak or too scared to fight him.

"Maybe you should just go back" I said, bitterly.

"I can't. I'm not finished here yet." Again one of these mysterious hints. "With what?" I asked sarcastically. "You haven't managed to kill anybody yet?"

"Ouch! Just why are you always so mean to me?"

"Because you are essentially not a nice person. Wherever you go, people die!"

He rolled his eyes. "That's a given – I'm a vampire."

"But you're only the bad parts!"

"Hardly so – I'm immortal, forever young and awesomely attractive. Those are definitely good parts!" He flashed me his most devilish smile.

"Please, Damon! Leave Caroline alone, before she suffers some permanent brain damage from you manipulations."

"You know, I might actually do that", Damon said, pensive. "Time to find me some other prey... Barbie was getting kind of boring, anyway."

I didn't know if I should cheer at this. He just agreed to do as Elena and I had begged him to. So why did it feel as if I had just struck a deal with the devil?


	11. True Lies

ELENA

After having successfully convinced Bonnie and Caroline that everything was just fine, I finally closed the door of my room behind me. I even made it into the shower before the might-have-beens of this evening fully hit me and I started to cry violently. Only once before had I felt so utterly scared, lost and helpless in my life, and it still made my heart constrict and my breathing painful whenever I thought about it. Tonight's assault brought it all back.

I don't know how long I sat sobbing and shaking in the shower before I managed to pull myself together again and turn off the water. I had just wrapped myself in a towel when I heard a tentative knocking on my door.

"Elena?" It was Stefan's voice. "Can you please open the door? I just need to see for myself that you're okay... if only for a minute."

Even though I had not wanted Bonnie or Caroline to fuss over me before, I very much wanted to throw myself into Stefan's arms just now. So I unlocked the door and did exactly that, wet hair and towel and puffy eyes be dammed.

Stefan just held me, murmuring soothing nonsense into my ear while gently caressing my back. "How did you know?" I asked, feeling my eyes water again.

"Alys just called me. She thinks you shouldn't be alone tonight and figured that you probably didn't tell Caroline."

"She's right." I said with a tear-plastered smile. "She knows me too well."

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

I shook my head. "No, it's alright. It just brought back so many bad memories. Feeling so scared and helpless... I hate that."

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No, please – I would like you to stay, if that's okay with you?"

"Sure it is. I wish I could have been there before it all happened."

"Damon was there. And you're with me now. I'm going to be okay."

"Yes. Everything's going to be fine. You'll never be lost and alone ever again. I promise. For now, let's get you into bed."

I woke up the next morning snuggled in Stefan's arms. Okay – it wasn't exactly the romantic setting I had envisioned it to be, but it felt good nevertheless. I had slept fairly well, only woken up once by the fright of a nightmare which quickly faded when I saw him sleeping peacefully beside me. As he did now. I turned to face him. Funny, he looked much younger and much more relaxed in sleep. Not like he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. I gently brushed a lock of his now untypically tousled hair out of his eye, again amazed by the familiarity I felt. As if I had slept like this a thousand times before.

My touch, as soft as it had been, roused him from sleep. He woke with a smile, still not fully there. "Hey, good morning, sleepyhead!" I said, once he had finally gotten his bearings and slowly sat up.

"Same to you. I'm sorry. I fell asleep."

"Yes, that you did," I smiled. "I just didn't know you had planned on lying awake all night."

"I was supposed to watch over your sleep and chase away nightmares," he clarified. "I obviously suck at my job."

"You did just fine. I slept alright. And I feel much better today." I disentangled myself from the sheets and headed for the bathroom. "Hurry up – we're late".

"You're going to go to class today?" Stefan asked, sounding surprised.

"Sure I am. Or do you think I should stay locked up in my room and reminiscence about how I got myself almost raped and killed last night instead?"

"God, I don't even want to think about that!" he groaned, rubbing his face.

"See? Neither do I. – So, what's your excuse for skipping class?"

"Other than having slept in my clothes and being in desperate need of a shower? None." I grinned and closed the bathroom door, quickly doing the necessary morning chores like brushing my teeth, doing my hair and applying some make-up. To my surprise, Stefan was still sitting on the edge of my bed when I came back out.

He gave me a smile. "You know – considering yesterday night's events, you actually look great. How do you do that, Elena? What made you so strong?"

I shrugged. "I guess life did. I've survived worse before. Bad things happen to people all the time, Stefan. There's nothing you can do to protect yourself from them. You can just try to deal with the havoc they leave behind as well as you can and try to move on."

"Your parents would have been so proud of you. Seeing the woman you've become."

"Thank you. I hope you're right."

Stefan cleared his throat, got up and looked at me a little sheepishly. "I guess I'm going to go to my room and take a quick shower. Since you're putting up such a good example of diligence and duty, I guess I can't make excuses."

"No, I'm afraid you can't," I said, stepping in his way and smiling up in his face. I had the distinct impression that he was feeling a little awkward. Which was a bit strange, given that he had held me in his arms half naked and spent a night in my bed already. Somehow, we had gotten the order of things a little mixed up. I strongly felt that it was time to set them right.

"Thank you for being there for me last night," I said, putting my arms around his neck and pulling him in for a hug. I was hoping that this was enough of a signal to tell him it was okay, that I wanted contact, that he needn't be concerned about seeming hasty or pushy. Actually, I was starting to feel slightly pushy myself.

We were standing very close now, my forehead level with his chin, which made me look directly at his lips. Without thinking, I pulled myself up on my toes and kissed him.

It didn't have the life-altering, mind-blowing effect I had hoped for. We should have parted only to relish in the intimacy of the moment before passionately going back for each others mouths. Except that there was nothing passionate about this kiss at all. Stefan gently cupped my face, but only to slightly push it further away from his. The meaning couldn't have been any clearer. I felt myself blush with shame.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I'm really sorry!" My voice faded. God, this was so embarrassing. I let my arms drop and quickly distanced myself from him.

"No, Elena, wait..." Stefan said, and held my arm to prevent me form turning my back on him. "You don't understand..."

"What's not to understand about this?" I asked, feeling humiliated. "I just made a fool of myself, throwing myself at you when you're clearly not into me, and now I'm not sure if I'm even into you because this felt just – wrong."

Stefan made a careful move towards me again and touched my arm. "No, you've got it all wrong. I understand that you needed to find out what this feeling between us is, and that's okay, it really is. I'm the one who has to apologize, because I never made clear how I felt about you. It's not that I don't love you, Elena, because I do, really. You mean the world to me. It's just that I'm not in love with you."

Okay, that didn't really make a whole lot of sense, but it distracted me for a moment from my mortification. I looked at him questioningly.

"I'm sorry for leading you on," Stefan said, his eyes full of chagrin. "I truly am. It's not surprising that you were wondering where our relationship would be going."

"Definitively not to where I just tried to take it."

"No, not there. It can't be, for various reasons. But maybe that doesn't have to be a bad thing..."

"You want us to be just friends?" I gave a hollow laugh, trying not to sound bitter. "Isn't that the line for the girl?"

He shook his head, still looking very serious. "It's not 'just' friends, Elena," he said, obviously believing this to be of vital importance. "There's more between us – a connection, a bond that goes beyond friendship..."

"Yes. And that's what's been confusing me, for I never felt like this before. Not even with Matt, and we're friends now. There had never been passion between us, either. But with you – everything seemed to fit. It feels good to be with you. You're so easy to trust, understanding and gentle and caring... with you, there should've been passion! I wanted there to be. Maybe it's me..."

Again, he immediately contradicted that vehemently. "No, don't say that. It's not you. It definitively isn't, believe me. It's me. I am – not the right guy for you for something romantic."

Bonnie's remark popped back in my mind. "Are you gay, or something?" I asked, slightly hopeful. At least, that would explain it.

He laughed slightly. "It's more along the line of 'or something'. I have a history, Elena, as you do. And that just makes it impossible for me to go there with you."

"Maybe I'm just in love with love itself," I muttered. "I so much want to love somebody again, and to be loved in return."

"But you are being loved – by so many. Jenna, Bonnie, Caroline, Alys... they all love you in their own way, and so do I. I really care about you, Elena. More than you could think. And I so much hope that you believe me and that you're okay with that, because if not, I'm gonna be truly devastated."

There was so much fear in his eyes that I didn't doubt for a second that he actually meant it. And surprisingly enough, aside from a lingering feeling of embarrassment I felt almost – relieved. I was puzzled at this and it took a moment of soul searching to understand something that my subconscious had known all along: I had never felt any kind of physical attraction to Stefan. It had all been about emotional closeness, a feeling of belonging – and it was still there. I had only put us into the romantic relationship category because it was what everyone expected – what I had expected. Maybe it was due to an odd feeling of competition with Caroline. After all, she had been through about five relationships already, whereas for me, there had only ever been Matt – and that didn't even count. Maybe deep down I was afraid of not being normal, that there was something emotionally wrong with me. So with Stefan, I had been determined to prove myself that I was alright. Looking back at it, I realized that Stefan had never been sending signals that had hinted at anything romantic – on the contrary. I had just chosen to ignore it and explain it away.

"It's not your fault, either," I said, finally understanding. "You're right. I do have some issues – and they were the reason I was determined that we were going to be in love. The truth is, I'm not in love with you, either. I just haven't noticed it before. So yes – we're okay, Stefan. We're definitively okay." I smiled, and this time, it was real and sincere.

It was Stefan who pulled me into a hug then, not a hesitant or cautious embrace for fear how it might be received, but a heartfelt one.

*'*'*'*'*

Given that I had withheld the crucial details of yesterday's fright night experience from Bonnie and Caroline, they both thankfully were not making a big fuss about it. On the downside, they were also less sympathetic and more angry with me for acting so careless and didn't fail to point out what might have happened. Since I fully agreed with them on that and dutifully apologized, the matter was soon considered settled.

Fortunately, no one had told Jenna anything. I was grateful for that, too, because when she called me later in the day to tell me about her very enlightening, 'parent-teacher conference' with Mr. Saltzman, it made for a much better topic. Obviously, she and Ric – as I couldn't help calling him in my mind after listening to Jenna's detailed phone report for almost an hour – seemed to really hit it off. Of course, it was a bit early for a definitive judgement: Jenna hadn't exactly been a role model when it came to dating. But then – I wasn't exactly an expert on dating, either, so who was I to comment?

Jenna was so much in bliss that she totally forgot to enquire about Stefan, which was a good thing, because I didn't feel inclined to talk about him just now. I hadn't even told Caroline or Bonnie, yet. Too much boy drama as it was. Or maybe I was just scared they would pester me with questions – or worse, start arranging totally inconspicuous dates for me again, to help me get over it. After all, I'd never told them that Stefan and I were together, so it didn't make so much sense to press forward with telling them that we weren't. Knowing Caroline, the question would soon come up again, anyway.

Alys was an entirely different matter, though. Chances were, that she had known about Stefan's feelings for me from the beginning. I just wasn't sure if she had known about mine.

When she dropped by in the late afternoon, she just gave me a brief hug and kindly abstained from reliving the details of last night with me. She also spared me another lecture or her sympathies, God bless her.

"Thank you for saving me last night," I said gratefully, knowing that I owed her big for that. "And thanks for sending Stefan over. He was exactly who I needed."

"I thought you could use a shoulder to cry on. And I've cried enough times into Stefan's shoulders to know that it's a good place to be in times of need."

"Have you spoken to him?"

"Briefly, in between classes. He brought my boxes from Mystic Falls and told me that he was going drop them off at the boarding house later. Why are you asking?"

"Just because." Since I didn't know how much Stefan had told her, I thought I'd not go into it just yet. Too much to explain in case I had to start from scratch. "Speaking of boxes – what about your stuff?" The room we had shared still held most of her belongings. When Alice had left four nights ago, she had only taken her clothes.

Alys grinned. "Yes, it was a rather spontaneous decision. Actually, Stefan brought two extra packing boxes over – they're in his room. If you don't mind, I run over quickly and get them."

"Sure, I'll help you pack."

Alys was back in no time and we began to pack up her stuff.

"What about the fridge?" I asked. Alys didn't have that many possessions, but one that she treasured was a mini fridge, that had been strictly off-limits for me. It was simply too small, and besides, I hadn't really understood what she needed it for.

"You saw the fridge in the boarding house. I don't need this one anymore. You can have it – I only want it back in case it doesn't work out with Damon and I come running back to you."

"How likely is that?"

Alys shrugged. "So far, he has been pretty decent. We don't see that much of each other – he seems to be hanging out with Alaric a lot. I have no clue as to what they do. Probably drinking themselves senseless."

"Ric – Mr. Saltzman, I mean, seems like a nice guy. Did you know he's now dating Jenna? I think he could be a good influence on Damon. Just like you."

"Nothing can influence Damon."

"Don't be so hard on him. He's probably not the bad boy you always see in him."

"Yes, he is, trust me on that, Elena. You don't know Damon."

"True enough. But he saved me. Because you asked him to. That should count for something."

"You always see the good in people. Aren't you afraid that one day you'll be thoroughly disappointed? People are not always honest – maybe not even your best friends. And maybe there are sides to them you have no idea of... maybe they do things you'd hate them for if only you knew..."

I gave her a mystified look. There seemed to be a deeper meaning behind her concern. Had she been disappointed by someone she trusted?

"I don't know," I said, not sure about her concerns. "What's the alternative? Not to trust anyone because they might not live up to your expectations? I've done that – closed myself off from people, not because they might disappoint me, but because I might lose them eventually. But you know what – it keeps you from being hurt, but it also makes you lonely. I guess I just don't want to feel lonely anymore."

"But you're not. You have so many friends who care about you."

"Funny, Stefan just said the very same thing to me today. I guess you're right. We tend to always take everyone who is there for granted and not really value their presence. Like I did with you. I felt pretty lonely the last days without you."

"And here I thought you'd be throwing slumber parties and enjoying the newfound freedom of sleeping in your own room without having to hear me snore."

"You don't snore!"

"I'll keep you in mind as a possible witness in case Damon accuses me of the opposite," Alys said jokingly. "But you're right. Maybe I'm doing the same thing. Expecting nothing from him so he cannot disappoint me again. I guess I have to work on changing my perspective, too."

"I'm still trying to get there myself. It's an ongoing process, really."

We had almost finished packing up the second of her two boxes when Alys stared at her watch and jumped. "Geez – it's already that late? I have a drama club meeting tonight – it was supposed to begin at six thirty... I almost forgot about that."

"Don't worry, I can take care of these for you. I'll just drop everything off at Damon's house."

"Oh, but you don't have to do that. Just give them to Stefan – he's bringing the other boxes over, anyway."

"No, I also need to return Damon's jacket. And I wanted to thank him properly. He really did save me last night. The boxes just give me an excellent excuse – I don't want him to think there is an ulterior motive behind me seeking him out."

"Good point. Thanks, Elena, that helps a lot!"

"You're welcome. How are you going to get home?"

"A girl from the club already promised to take me. It's kind of on her way. So – I'll see you tomorrow in class, then?"

"Sure."

Alys put on her jacket and headed for the door, where she turned again. "Elena – you're welcome to drop by at the boarding house any time you like. Promise me we'll still be seeing plenty of each other outside the classroom. I'd miss you terribly, too, otherwise."

"Of course we will, what are you thinking! Now, go to your meeting. I'll see you tomorrow!"

"You're a sweetheart. Good-night!" She gave me a quick hug and left the room. It felt much more empty already, although Alys hadn't had all that much stuff. Everything fit neatly into the two moving boxes.

I decided to drive them over to Damon's place right away. Taking Damon's jacket off from the door hook where I had put it yesterday, I could help burying my nose in it as I caught a whiff of it's smell. I still couldn't figure what it was – not the typical aftershave-smell, though that was there, too, and I would bet it was an expensive brand. Cedar and sandalwood. But there was more... a scent that I thought of as uniquely Damon. I shook my head at myself. So he smelled good, alright. But he was still bad, and as Alys said, it'd be good for me not to forget that.

When I pulled into the boarding house's driveway, there was no light from inside. At first, I thought that Damon might be out, but on second glance I noticed that the shutters had been closed for the night. Damon obviously valued his privacy, too. I steered into the parking space and immediately spotted Stefan's car next to Damon's blue Camaro. He obviously had made good on his promise already.

I got the first box out of the trunk and carried it to the door, balancing it on my knee while fumbling for the knocker. To my surprise, the door swung open all by itself when I accidentally pushed against it. It mustn't have been closed properly.

Bringing my box inside, I almost stumbled over two similar moving crates sitting on the hallway floor. Figuring that those must be the ones that Stefan had brought from Mystic Falls, I set the box that I was carrying on top of it. I was just about to leave the house again to fetch the remaining box when I heard voices from the study.

"So you are behind this..." I heard Damon respond to whatever had been said previously. His tone was flippant, but challenging. "I admit I was a bit surprised! It's been a long while since somebody could resist my compulsion. What did you give her?"

"Just a little something to protect her from your manipulations." Stefan's voice was icy and made my hackles rise. I instantly knew that something was amiss. Uncertain as to whether I should make my presence known, I slowly moved towards the arch that opened to the parlor. It wasn't my intention to spy, but the charged atmosphere between the two of them made me hesitate to shout a cheerful greeting. Cautiously, I peeked around the corner.

"I see..." That was Damon again. "It's probably that witch necklace that belonged to Alys. Did she give it to you? Well, it doesn't matter. You know..." He made a meaningful pause, only to continue with silky menace: "That lucky charm might keep me out of Elena's head. But maybe that's not my target area..." Realizing that they were talking about me, I let out a gasp. But before the implications of Damon's words could fully register with me, Stefan gave an angry snarl.

"You stay away from Elena!" he hissed. I barely recognized the aggressive voice for his. Yet Damon seemed unimpressed. "Stop threatening me!" he said disdainfully. "Your little parlor tricks don't work on me. You don't have the strength to make them."

When Stefan didn't respond to that, I could see Damon's lips curl into a provocative smile. "I guess I could just seduce her the old fashioned way! Or I could just – eat her." If at all possible with his already pale complexion, Stefan turned even whiter. He growled, and, without further warning, flung himself at Damon. He had the moment of surprise on his side. Neither I nor Damon had seen it coming.

Almost in a flying motion he grabbed what looked like a letter opener from the desk and forcefully drove it straight into Damon's stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, guys - not a single comments so far? The only two I had were spam. It's not that bad, is it?


	12. The Turning Point

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, guys - the fun in publishing fan-fiction is getting feedback from your readers. We get no money out of this, just the satisfaction that people like reading our stories. It's a bit discouraging to keep publishing when there is no feedback whatsoever. It doesn't have to be a complete chapter analysis, just a short comment would do. I would really like to know what you're thinking about the story so far. So please - take a minute and leave a note! You'd be making me happy!

ELENA

I was frozen in shock. Not even a gasp came from my lips – I didn't have air for that. I couldn't even breathe. Damon made a soft, rather astonished sound and doubled over. The next few moments happened in a blur.

I knew what my eyes were telling me, but what they were seeing simply couldn't be real. Damon, despite having been stabbed, stood up straight again and grabbed Stefan by his jacket. He lifted him up as if he weighed next to nothing and, without even putting much effort into it, threw him up in the air and sent him flying into the shelved wall behind his back. He crashed into it so hard that I heard the splintering of wood and the breaking of bones. I cried out in horror, looking at his unmoving figure that was now lying on the ground like a scrambled rag doll – for about two seconds. Then Stefan got back onto his feet, slowly, but quite obviously not seriously injured. Which was impossible. He turned, saw me standing motionlessly in the doorway – and stilled. Damon turned and saw me, too.

"Elena!" he said casually, and pulled the pointed, bloody object that Stefan had driven into him out of his stomach. His slight grimace was one of annoyance more than pain. "We didn't hear you coming!"

I blinked, swallowed, forced myself to breathe. For a brief moment I was waiting to pass out, but I didn't. Flooded with adrenalin, my mind was racing. "What's going on here?" The question – formed by my lips without any brain involvement – came out barely audible, sounding as thin and weak as I was feeling. "I don't understand..."

Stefan just stared at me blank-eyed, obviously shaken, too. He seemed more disturbed by my presence than by just having been thrown into a wall. Damon, on the other hand, seemed unruffled.

"Your boyfriend and I got into a discussion," he explained and examined his shirt, as if indeed no more than unfriendly words had been exchanged. "I guess we both got carried away a little..."

"Carried away a little?" I echoed what must be the understatement of the century. "Stefan stabbed you! You have a stomach wound..."

"Ah, it's not as bad as it looks," he said dismissively, then frowned. "Except for the shirt. That was a John Varvatos, dude! You ruined it."

I felt like I was in one of these surreal movies: The lines of the actors didn't seem to fit the pictures. "Stefan crashed into that wall like a wrecking ball," I insisted, ignoring the craziness of my discussing this with him. Yet reasoning seemed the best way to try to make sense of what I had seen. "He surely must have broken bones from the impact. And yet he's standing there as if nothing happened... This is bizarre – to the point of being completely unnatural! Just – what are you?"

Damon raised his eyebrows, shooting Stefan a look of feigned surprise. "Oh, I see you haven't had your coming-out yet..." Stefan slowly shook his head, returning his gaze almost pleadingly, which Damon pointedly ignored. He shrugged carelessly, barley hiding a smirk. "Well, I'm sure it's coming up now!"

"Stefan?" I looked at him, hoping that he would say something that would turn my world right side up again. But there could be no logical explanation for what I had just witnessed.

"Elena, don't listen to him!" Stefan implored. "He's just trying to cause distress."

"Well, he's succeeding!" I stated flatly.

"Come on, you had to tell her at some point, Stefan," Damon put in, trying to sound helpful. "I think now might just be the moment... unless you're planning on making her forget what she just saw. But wait – you can't do that, can you?"

"You're a pain in the ass, Damon. Shut up, or I will make you!" Stefan's words were full of menace, but Damon only gave a snort. "Too bad you can't do that either! Though I'd like to see you try!"

Seeing them resume their fight pulled me out of my stupor. "Stop this, both of you!" I shouted. "I want to know what is going on! And I want to know now!"

"Elena, please, let's just leave. I'll explain everything to you, but not like this..." Stefan pleaded.

"No!" Now that I had found my voice back, I managed to use it firmly. "Damon is right," I said, ignoring Damon's smug expression. "There's something you've been hiding all along. What are you being so secretive about? What's with all those cryptic little hints that Damon loves to drop from time to time? I think you two had better tell me now." Stefan looked at me almost desperately, while Damon's gaze turned expectant. "I thought you had figured it out by now."

"Figured out what?"

"Come on, Elena," he challenged. "You already know it. You just refuse to admit that it's true..."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Well, then, shall we think it out loud? Mysterious things have been happening ever since mysterious strangers showed up in town. They stay out of the sun, never eat garlic and are just entirely too good-looking to be true. Girls get bitten and behave strangely, witches are getting weird vibes and disturbing rumors start to circle... Take a wild guess!"

"Don't make fun of me." I refused to even consider the conclusion all the enumerated facts were pointing to.

"I'm not," Damon replied, an uncanny glint in his eyes. "Shall I bite you to prove it?"

Something made me withdraw instantly. He had always warned me he was dangerous, but so far, I hadn't really believed it. I did now.

"Damon, stop it! Leave her alone!" Stefan took a step towards me, but stopped, when I recoiled instinctively.

"Chill, Stefan, I didn't mean it," Damon said placatingly, but with a roguish glint in his eyes. As nobody bought the lie, he admitted: "Alright, I did! But I won't do it, at least not while he's watching. Pinky promise!" He smirked, as if this was all hilariously funny. Noticing that the flippancy he displayed in the light of the gravity of the situation was not helping, he put on his sober face. With a sigh, he walked over to his coffee cart and poured a glass of his beloved bourbon into a crystal tumbler. But instead of drinking it himself, he held it out to me. "Here, I think you could use this. Take a sip, it'll calm your nerves. You look like you're about to freak out."

"About to freak out?" I stared at him disbelievingly. "What kind of reaction did you expect? Telling me you are freaking vampires..."

Damon raised a finger in objection. "I didn't say 'freaking'..." he corrected, pointing his index at me: "You did! In fact, I didn't even say 'vampire', though that's admittedly what I was hinting at." Again, he held out the glass invitingly. When I ignored it, he just shrugged and downed it himself.

"Vampires kill people!"

"No!" Stefan instantly objected, not wanting to let things get any worse. He ran is fingers through his hair, which I knew by now was a gesture of irritation and emotional upheaval.

"At least not on a regular basis!" Damon toned down not only my presumption, but also Stefan's instant negation of it.

"Thanks," I said, audaciously sarcastic. "That's really making me feel safe!"

Damon mocked surprise. "Did he tell you that you are supposed to feel safe around us?" Again, it was Stefan who jumped in, passionately this time. "She is! I'll make sure of that! Don't be scared of me, Elena! I'd sooner die than to ever hurt you. Please, trust me..."

"Well, I guess that depends on whether or not I'm food in your eyes! What do you live on?"

"Blood!" Damon said, enunciating the word as if answering a really stupid question. "They wouldn't call us vampires, otherwise!" He pointed to Stefan with a turn of his head. "Though I'm not sure if it's an adequate term for him. Try 'bunny-eater', instead."

"You're feeding on animals?" I asked, grasping for hope. Damon immediately crushed it with an ironic smile. "Every once in a while. It's healthy to have variation in your diet."

"I don't feed on humans!" Stefan's face was dead serious. I could tell from his expression how vital it was for him to make me believe that.

"Yeah," Damon snorted, contempt in his voice. "He's trying to be like Edward from the Twilight-tales. Well, I'm not. Nor am I some sort of a wood chopping nature guy. We're not in the stone ages anymore, with people hunting mammoth in the woods."

"So you're hunting people instead?"

"I'm not hunting people." He smirked. "I don't have to. They come to me willingly – just like that!" He snipped his fingers in demonstration.

"Yeah, sure!" I managed to convey my doubt with a snort, wondering briefly why I was still standing frozen to the spot, when I should be running away screaming.

"It's true," Damon insisted. "Most people find me hard to resist. Except for you, that is... But I always like a challenge!" His eyes were smoldering again, which instantly got Stefan's hackles up. "Don't you dare try any of your games with her!"

"Or – what?"

"Would you please stop this alpha-male bad-ass behavior!" I implored, feeling as if my head was going to explode from overload. I squeezed my eyes shut for a second and took a deep breath, trying to concentrate. "I still don't get any of this... Do Alys and Dr. Daniels know?"

"Ever since they went through the change themselves!"

Once again, I stared at both of them in disbelief. "No! You're not telling me Alys is – like you?" Never. It simply couldn't be. I'd have known. There's no way I could've not have known. Again, it was Damon who answered. Wasting no time searching for words that would sweeten the message, he was quicker in his response than Stefan. "Well, she is, at least by her nature. But she has decided to become a vegetarian and is now sucking up blood bags. Radical human rights activist." He shook his head disapprovingly.

"That's impossible..." I whispered.

"That's what I keep telling her!" Damon agreed, purposely misunderstanding.

"How could I not have noticed..."

"Maybe you did. Maybe she made you forget. But then – maybe she didn't. Wouldn't be ethical, would it?"

"She would never ever do that, Elena!" Stefan chimed in. "She's your friend, and contrary to Damon, she has moral principles. You know that!"

"Make me forget?" I frowned. "What do you mean? Can you control people's minds?"

Damon smiled condescendingly. "Let's say I'm pretty successful in the art of persuasion." Then, with a sideward nod at Stefan he added: "He's not, though. Eating bunnies doesn't give you that."

"Persuasion!" I echoed stupidly. "Sure – that's what vampires need fangs for – to persuade!"

"No, we need them to pierce skin – human teeth are too blunt for that," Damon clarified, not beating around the bush. "That would be awfully messy."

"Animal skin is tough," Stefan hastily explained, still trying to sell the animal diet. "We need fangs to bring the game down, just as we need our faster reflexes and keener senses – like a wide hearing range and night vision – for hunting ."

Damon threw him a mocking glance. "Yes, although it's all kind of wasted on squirrels, which we normally do not hunt – except maybe for a snack. But the fangs surely come in handy for the bigger game."

"Like what?"

"Venison. Bear. Wildcats, if you like the taste. At least Twilight got that part right."

My eyse shifted back to Stefan. "So – you and Alys and Dr. Daniels – you're hunting out in the woods?"

Damon scoffed. "Can you fathom Elijah dashing through the forest at night? Civil and sophisticated Elijah? Hardly! I bet he's secretly stealing blood bags from the hospital."

"That's still way better than stalking people!" Stefan said, aggressively.

"It's like eating canned food! Thank you, but no!" Damon shook his head in disgust, before his lips curled up again into a wolfish smile. "I prefer my meals hot and fresh, served in appealing packing."

"That's why Alys has been trying to warn you away from him, Elena. Now you know what he's after. You can't trust him."

"But I'm supposed to trust you? Why should I, after you betrayed me like that? How can you not have told me – all the while?"

"There are various reasons for that," Stefan said, avoidinging my eyes. "Damon shouldn't have told you."

"Ah!" Damon made a face. "You're not talking about that stupid 'Codex', now, are you?"

Stefan seemed reluctant to answer that. "What codex?" I asked suspiciously. Damon shrugged. "Old vampire lore and legends."

Stefan sighed. "There is said to exist a written law binding every vampire to guard the secret."

"Written?" Again, Damon gave a disdainful snort. "Scratched into stone, more likely. I don't think paper had been invented yet when they came up with it."

"Allegedly, it has existed for as long as there are vampires."

"Which would be since the stone ages. If it's true and if any of those originals are still alive, they're probably the only ones who still care about it."

"So what's with this codex?" I looked to Stefan, hoping for an answer that made sense. He obliged me, at least in giving an answer. "It strictly forbids a vampire to ever let any human know about our existence – unless he's planning on changing or killing him. There is a death penalty for breaking it."

"Oh, come on." Damon rolled his eyes. "There is laws and penalties and restrictions on all sorts of things, especially the fun ones which are hard to resist. Like speed limits. Don't tell me you never broke one of those!"

"It's not traffic law we're discussing. Nobody gets killed because of that!"

"Yeah, but all the same – you'd have to get caught to get a ticket!" Damon grinned mischievously, clearly not taking any of this seriously.

"Who's to say you won't?"

"Well, the supernatural task force is said to be stationed somewhere near Rome, or at least it was – about a millennium ago. I never heard from them, and believe me: This is not the first time I've come into conflict with 'the codex'." He put the last twowords into air quotes, lowering his voice as if telling something forbidden, mocking Stefan's concern.

"You might happily risk your neck for some entertainment," he replied, aggravated, "but I don't. If you're wrong, it's not only your life that's on the line – it's Elena's, too."

"You're scaring her, Stefan! We can still worry about that if it should ever happen. As far as I know, the codex doesn't specifically say by when you have to kill or change the human you've let in on the secret. So as long as Elena doesn't die of a natural death beforehand, I broke no law. Besides, as far as I remember our conversation, I never used the V-word. You did! She was nagging us with all these questions, until she finally put the pieces together. I didn't even say anything!"

"Do you seriously believe you could get away with that line of argument if they ever put you to trial?"

Damon made a face as if he was thinking hard. "Hm – no!" he then said, unperturbed. "We had better see to it that we don't get caught!" He smiled again, clearly enjoying coaxing Stefan into losing his temper and me into doubting my sanity.

"This is too much..." I murmured, suffering from a serious overload of facts and feelings that needed processing. "I don't want this... I just need to get away from you guys..."

"Elena – please..." Stefan touched my arm, trying to hold me back. "Let's just go somewhere so we can talk about this more reasonably."

"No – I don't want to talk anymore. Not now."

"Let me at least take you home..."

"No!" I shook his arm off and started backing away from them. "You just – leave me alone!"

"You can't drive in the state you're in now."

"And you must be demented it you think that I will get into a car with one of you! Don't even dare to come near me, understand?"

It was Damon who grabbed Stefan's arm and held him back. "Let her go," he said calmly, but not without having another dig at him by adding: "She'll stay for dinner some other time!"

The last thing I saw before I made it out of the house was his demonic smile.

*'*'*'*'*'*

I don't know how I made it back to campus safely. My legs were still shaking when I was finally back in my room and locked the door behind me. I locked the windows, too. And, for the first time, I was immensely grateful that Alys wasn't here anymore.

Unconsciously, I was still trying to come up with a logical explanation for everything that had happened. My mind, used to working with logic and experience, refused to accept even the possibility of vampire existence. Yet my gut didn't care about scientific facts, and insisted that everything I had heard and seen tonight was real. Like Damon had said – it had been there, right in front of my eyes, I just hadn't seen it. Their strength and speed, all their peculiar little quirks and habits, the darkness that seemed to surround them.

While I was getting ready for bed, I tried to figure out what to do now. Strangely, it never crossed my mind to go and tell somebody. Not that anyone would have believed me. Neither was I scared when thinking of Stefan or Alys. I just felt – betrayed. As if I had just found out that the friends I thought to have never really existed. Damon, well, he was an entirely different story. My gut feeling, which had all along been warning me to beware of him, had proved to be doing its job just fine. He was every bit as dangerous as I had suspected. Without having heard him admit to it, I knew that he had taken human life; that he was capable of killing.

That night in the park, I probably had saved Caroline's life by going after her. Although she had survived numerous dates with him after that, that first encounter had been different. He hadn't known her, then. She had just been a nameless stranger, an easy victim. I started shaking again just thinking of it.

I was desperately longing for some rest, but sleep wouldn't come. Finally, after tossing and turning in bed with my mind going in endless circles, I got up and threw down a sleeping pill. I was going to be dead beat in the morning, and had little intention of going to class. I wasn't ready to confront Alys any time soon.

When the pill started to work and I finally drifted off, I slept deeply, soundly and fortunately dreamlessly for about eleven hours. I came round half an hour before the first break, feeling as worn out as I had feared. Figuring that my friends must still be in class, I decided that this was a good time to leave the building without running into anyone who might come looking for me. I would simply take a sick day and head home a day early, back to Mystic Falls.

After having slipped a short note underneath Bonnie's and Caroline's door, I packed a few things and headed for the parking lot. It was an exceptionally bright day, or so it seemed. My eyes hurt and started watering, obscuring my view. I should have brought my sunglasses. They would have also served to hide the dark rings under my eyes.

"Elena!" Hearing my name being called, I turned and blinked. There, leaning casually against the side of his Camaro, was Damon.


	13. Know Thy Enemy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter I'll be posting for a while. No offense, but publishing on AO3 so far has not been fun. What's the point of sharing my story when there's no reaction whatsoever to it? I don't even know if people are reading it. So unless I'm getting some feedback, I won't bother to keep updating the story.

ELENA

My heart gave an extra beat and I felt myself pale. Ignoring him and continuing towards my car, I started searching my pockets for the key. Damon dashed my hopes for a hasty escape, though. He was way faster than me and stepped in my way. "Going for a ride?"

"Leave me alone, Damon!" I said, avoiding his gaze. "I don't want to talk to you right now!" Fumbling with my key, I tried to open the driver's door.

"I don't believe this..." he noted, quietly observing me with crossed arms. "You're actually afraid of me!"

"Well, is that so surprising after what I saw and heard last night?" I asked, feeling slightly defensive.

He raised his brows. "Maybe not surprising. But you have to admit it's silly! I saved your life the other day, remember?"

I managed to open the door at last and felt relieved. "Yes, you did," I admitted. "But how do I know that you don't consider it rightfully yours because of that, to do with as you please?"

"Charming idea!" Damon smirked. "And I just know what I'd do with it right now!" He pushed the door closed and propped himself against it, effectively preventing me from opening it again. I eyed him suspiciously, wondering what he could possibly want from me. "And what would that be?"

"Take you for lunch."

"And dispose of my dead body right here on the parking lot?" I tried to sound sarcastic rather than nervous.

"Very funny!" he replied dryly. "I appreciate your attempt at humor, though." Clearly trying for patience he added: "Now, let me rephrase: I would like for you to accompany me over to this little place down the street and have a coffee with me. You might eat something, if you like. I have eaten earlier already."

"Why?" I simply asked, puzzled.

"Because I was hungry?" He evaded an answer by deliberately misunderstanding my question, which had me wondering – it had been harmless enough. Thinking that I might have found a weak spot in his armor, I felt my own confidence rise again. "Why would you want to have a coffee with me?" I insisted.

Damon rolled his eyes. "Because you're not the worst company in the world, Elena. Besides, I don't have anything to do right now – and neither have you. But that's just an excuse. The main reason is that I think we need to talk." The line sounded familiar, though neither with regard to the person who voiced it nor to the situation. "I don't think we're in that phase of our relationship yet!" I said, fully capable of irony as well.

"It started from a rather unusual point to begin with, so I'm hopeful." The fact that Damon wasn't protesting against the existence of a relationship sparked my curiosity, but also gave me a slightly guilty conscience. "What about Stefan?" I couldn't help thinking out loud, wondering if he shouldn't be included in any talk about last night, and what he'd say about me going anywhere with a professed, human-blood-drinking vampire.

"Uh! I don't want any kind of relationship with him," Damon responded. Then, as if he had followed my private line of thought, added: "I'm sure he'd advise you to stay away from me if he was here now – thank God he isn't! Yet I don't picture you as the type who always acts wisely. Deep down, you long to do something totally unadvised, something daring... like having coffee with a vampire in plain daylight and in a crowded, public place." He gave me an almost playful wink. "Come on, Elena! You sure weren't behaving cowardly yesterday, in a lonely mansion at night, all by yourself with two gruesome monsters. Please? I need some shade!" God, he could be sweet if he wanted to, turning his boyish charm on or off at will. Dangerous or not, I didn't have much to set against it.

"All right then, a coffee," I agreed. Beaten, though not willing to concede defeat, I added: "And I'll have some garlic bread with it."

A short while later we were sitting amiably at an outside table of a small café just a short walk away from campus. I was surprised to find that I was enjoying myself. Damon had been right: It was less freaky to think about what he was in bright sunlight amidst a crowd of people, in a commonplace setting as this, with Damon ordering two coffees and some garlic bread.

"I always thought vampires can't drink anything except for blood..." I said, as if we were talking eating disorders.

"I can eat and drink anything I like. And I happen to like coffee. Besides, caffeine is about the only drug that has an effect on us, taken in its pure form, and that's a blessing. It helps to keep our body temperatures at a degree that humans find non-suspicious."

"The only thing? What about whiskey? You seem to like it even more than coffee..."

"Alcohol regretfully doesn't have the same effect on us as on humans. But it does help curb the cravings..."

"You mean you can't get buzzed?"

Damon smirked. "Not by drinking from the bottle! Feeding from an intoxicated human, though..."

"Great!" I cut him off sarcastically. "So your fun is actually doubled by making your victims drunk before finishing them off!"

"I don't necessarily have to kill the people I feed from," Damon pointed out, though not ruling out the possibility. "Getting close enough will do, and alcohol sure does help to inhibit and dull awareness, so I can put other weapons to work."

"Like your power of manipulation?"

Again, that conceited smirk. "Like my good looks. My charms... "

I snorted. "Don't forget to add cockiness!"

"I can afford to be cocky." Indeed. Being incredibly strong, indestructible and psychic might make a person inclined to feel a little superior. "Well, I give you the looks," I consented, playing it down. "You and Stefan – you're fairly attractive."

"Fairly attractive?" He pretended to be insulted. "We're perfect, in the most literal sense. Have you ever heard that beauty is nothing but a perception of symmetry? People normally aren't symmetrical. Vampires are. When we go through the change, everything is altered, all damage undone – no scars, nothing lopsided. No flaws." He turned his perfectly angled face at me and smiled, flashing his pearly whites and allowing me to fully admire his beauty.

"Except for your lack of a healthy tan," I said, trying to find a real flaw and coming up empty.

Damon shrugged. "It's only been very recently that a tan is perceived as something worth acquiring. Up to the middle of the last century, we were all en vogue. And my aristocratic paleness has not placed me at disadvantage yet." Yeah, most likely it hadn't. He surely knew how to make the most of his gifts. If they were gifts at all.

"Still, I don't believe that humans line up to become your dinner just because of your good looks." Or else Bonnie wouldn't flinch every time she got within an arms length of him. "Don't tell me you never use force."

"I usually don't need to resort to violence. All I have to do is convince someone to allow me close enough to the neck to kiss..."

"Meaning you seduce unsuspecting women and attack them out of the blue?"

He arched his eyebrow. "You make it sound so brutish. It doesn't have to be. Besides, after a couple of drinks, most people don't really notice what's going on anymore."

"Sure – like they don't notice when someone is tearing their necks!"

Damon leaned in a little as if confiding a secret. "Believe it or not, Elena, there are woman out there who don't mind a little pain if it comes cloaked in pleasure."

I snorted. "Just my idea of a date: Getting drunk, getting laid, getting bitten."

"You may judge that all you like – although, you can't, really – but you're not going make me feel bad and guilty about it. It's a mutual satisfaction of needs."

I couldn't believe he was actually saying that. "You're lying to them, betraying their trust, using them. How can that not be bad?"

Again, some of his flirtatiousness came through. "Isn't that what girls really want?" he asked with a roguish glint in his eyes. "The bad guy?"

"Definitively not for the long run."

"Well, suits me. I'm definitely not a guy for the long run."

I averted my gaze, pretending to be distracted by the waitress who had just approached with our orders. Was he warning me off again? Why – it's not like I had signaled interest. I surely hadn't. Grateful for not having to reply to that, I offered my thanks to the waitress and took a sip of my coffee. Damon observed me quietly, obviously waiting for another round of questions. Fine, for I still had many. "What about the other myths and theories that abound relating to your lifestyle?" I asked.

"Like what?"

"Are you going to run away screaming if I wave a crucifix at you?"

Damon gave a snort. "Not even if you dip it in holy water and splash it on me."

"So everything in those books and movies – it's all myth?"

"No. It's more than myth – it's most likely the world's most amazing marketing success – and like many others, it was sold by the church. Vampires are a mighty threat to the establishment."

"Why would that be?"

"Well, think of it: We're better looking than humans, we're stronger, and we already have the gift of eternal youth and eternal life – and that's not even considering the fact that we don't need to couple like animals in order to have offspring. We create new vampires, which makes us creators ourselves. Now, who, again, does the church claim to be the crown of creation? Surely humans, considered to be God's chosen race, would have been given the means by their creator to defend themselves against a race of demons, that could only have come to life by the hand of the devil himself! The logical consequence is that vampires must fear holy water and crosses, and people were most willing to believe in the kind of protection the church offered. All you had to do was to make people believe that it actually worked – and the clergy has been successful in making people believe more ridiculous things than that."

"I can see what you mean. But still, they had to have some success, or people wouldn't have bought it."

"You're right. Crucifixes, in the old days, were often made of silver. We can't touch that. It reacts with the sweat film on our skin and becomes something like acid. It burns right through to the bone on prolonged touch. It would have worked equally well with a silver spoon, though. I guess nobody ever tried."

I remembered the blisters on Stefan's fingers when he had tried to put the necklace on me. So that's why he hadn't been able to do it. "What about wooden stakes? Fire?"

Damon raised his brow and fixated me with his eyes. "Are you intent on killing me?"

I shrugged. "Just weighing my options..."

"Well, anything driven straight into the heart works, it doesn't repair itself fast enough to maintain oxygen supply. Wooden bullets are pretty effective, too. Wounds don't close around wood. You might also want to try decapitation, burning or mutilation." He leaned closer, looking at me with a solemn expression. "Vampires can be killed, Elena. You just have to be thorough and quick in doing it, otherwise we self-heal before the damage is permanent. But we have been as efficiently done away with as we have killed humans."

I pondered asking him how many he had killed, but I didn't, for fear I wouldn't like the answer. Deciding for a more harmless question I asked: "How about sleeping in coffins?"

He knitted his eyebrows. "Now, why would anybody want to sleep in a coffin? Eludes me!"

"It's kind of fitting for a dead person!"

"You think I'm dead? Now, that's really stupid! How could I be dead, sitting here and having this discussion with you? The same laws of physics apply everywhere and to everyone on this planet, and dead people don't walk and talk."

"Well, undead then."

He rolled his eyes. "About as undead as you are. Another word for it is alive!" In an unexpected gesture he reached over and took my hand, pressing it flatly to his chest. "Here, can you feel that?" he asked, holding my hand in place with his own. "That's a heartbeat." Indeed, it was. I could feel it beneath firm flesh and toned muscles that made me itch to explore. I quickly withdrew my hand.

"We are just another species," Damon said, as if he hadn't noticed my reaction, "with a differently functioning metabolism and different nutritional needs. Predators, like many other living beings on this planet. We heal fast – basically, the rejuvenation of our cells never stops, as long as we get everything we need."

"What if you don't get enough blood? Can you be starved to death?"

"No. We just fall into a comatose state which we call death-sleep. At first, there still is a metabolism, but so slow that it would escape notice. Of course, it might have happened quite a few times in history that a presumably dead person was put in a coffin and left for burial. Now if he was in fact a vampire or a vampire in transition, his cells would repair whatever damage occurred, allowing him to 'rise from the dead'. Maybe that created the myth about the 'undead' or the 'sleeping in coffins'. I much prefer my bed."

"You said 'at first'. What happens if you still don't get any blood?"

"We dry up and mummify until we do." Uh! Not a topic to delve on while eating. I stopped myself from pondering further, concentrating on what else I believed to know about vampires. "What about this?" I asked, picking up the garlic bread. "Does that offer some sort of protection?"

"Well, they do say it's good for your immune system and your heart..." How typically Damon. Count on him to make a joke of everything.

"You know what I mean – vampires are supposed to recoil at the smell of garlic."

"I don't like to smell garlic, or any other kind of onion type vegetable. But it's not gonna help you if you just wave it at me. I can smell it in your blood, though, and that will make me less inclined to feed from you. It's not easily digested. Most vamps get cramps from it."

I took a bite of the bread and chewed with relish, enjoying his obvious dislike. "Good!" I said, after having finished. "If I ever decide to go out with you for real, let's make it Italian." I instantly regretted that I had involuntarily turned the issue back to that, for his eyes got that glint again. He brought his head closer to mine and lowered his voice by a half note. "If you think you need to have Italian food on a date with me, then you shouldn't suggest going out with me."

"I wasn't," I quickly assured. "Suggesting it, I mean." Wanting to, maybe. Despite his warnings. His eyebrow rose. "Sure!" he said, and continued to stare at me with a cryptic expression. I was relieved when the waitress showed remarkable timing and came back to refill our water glasses.

"So – how come you can even walk around in plain daylight?" I mused, bringing my mind back to more innocent issues. "I thought you're supposed to burn to ashes."

"Writer's imagination!" Damon replied dismissively. "Although direct sunlight on unprotected skin sure feels like we are! We're just hypersensitive to UV-light, and direct exposure can cause third degree burns within a short time. But as long as I keep most of my body covered and stay in the shade, I'm okay. Bless the guy who invented sunblock! You can't imagine what it was like in the old days..."

"Just how old are you, exactly?"

"Isn't that a tactless question to ask?"

"Only if you were a woman."

"I'll turn a hundred and seventy-four in November."

"Oh." That had me speechless for a moment, though I couldn't say what I had expected. He had been born around 1840 then. For the first time, the implications of eternal life struck me. How did one cope with seeing generation after generation of people come and go? How did one cope with losing his loved ones over and over again?

I cleared my throat, which had constricted for a moment. "How troublesome that must be!" I said, playing it light. "How do you get all the candles on the cake?"

"Believe me, after a hundred and fifty, you don't really celebrate anymore." There was a hidden pain and sadness behind his words that was impossible to ignore.

"I can imagine it must be truly horrible," I said softly, feeling suddenly sorry for him. "To see all the people you love grow old and die... how do you manage?"

"Simple enough," Damon said, "don't love."

I stared at him in disbelief, remembering suddenly what he had said about that at the dinner party. "You can't seriously mean that! Haven't you ever been in love? I'm sorry – I hope you don't mind me asking that..."

"I don't." He shrugged. "As long as you don't mind me not answering that."

"Why – did it end badly?"

"It always ends badly." Wow. That did come out gloomy. He must really have had some hurtful experiences if he was that pessimistic when it came to relationships. I felt I had to object to that. "Not every relationship is doomed to end."

"Sure it is!" Damon insisted. "Everything is doomed to end – in death!"

"But before that, there is a long life to live!"

"The human life span is pitifully short."

"I guess that depends on perspective! There are people who live without ever really living at all – without loving and caring for anybody. Those lives are basically wasted to begin with. It's only the relationships we have that make them worthwhile."

"Until death doth part them?" He scoffed. "Obviously, you're a believer – a big romanticist..."

"I don't think I am. The truth is, I sometimes have my doubts, too. So far, at least, it has never worked out for me."

He gave me a curious look. "Not even with Stefan?"

"Now, I'm not gonna discuss Stefan with you, of all people."

"Yeah, maybe we'd better not discuss him – just forget about him altogether." The twinkle in his eyes clearly conveyed the double meaning of his words. There was more to it, though. He kept his mesmerizing gaze on me, almost as if meaning to hypnotize me. I drew back, remembering what Damon had said about his mind-altering powers. Could he really make me forget things – including Stefan, just by staring at me like that? Or manipulate me into doing something I didn't really want to?

"Is that why I'm sitting here with you now?" I asked, suspicious now. "Did you use your mind-powers on me to get me to come with you?"

Damon frowned. "You think I needed to manipulate you for that? Why, Elena – is it so surprising and so unacceptable for you to think that you might actually be sitting here with me because you wanted to?" Again, I cowardly averted my eyes from that penetrating gaze of his; those unbelievably blue eyes that always seemed to strip your soul bare.

"I can't change the way people feel about something," he finally replied, not insisting that I answer his question. Or maybe I had unconsciously already answered it. "I can just try to make people forget certain things, by pushing them back and hiding them somewhere, deep below the surface."

"So you can erase people's minds?"

"No. I can only successfully hide a specific memory – one that people long to forget. Like realizing that a vampire just fed on them. Anything painful, scary or threatening that freaks them out. If they don't want it to be real, it's easy to convince them that it's not."

"Then why didn't you or Stefan use that trick on me, yesterday?"

"He – because he can't. Like I said – just feeding from animals makes you weak. I – well, because I didn't want to. It's kind of nice to have someone knowing – we wouldn't be having this nice chat, otherwise." Damon gave me a complacent smile before he put on his somber face again. "Besides, I don't think it would have worked, anyway. You were far too suspicious even before that. I would have needed to erase all those little, nagging thoughts that had at some point surfaced in your mind, which would proved difficult, given that each of them by itself wasn't freaky enough to make you long to forget it. It would have required deep and serious messing, and you never know how a human brain reacts to that. Last but not least, I had the distinct impression you wanted to know."

"Yes, I did. Although I'm not so sure now." I frowned, getting back to what had brought this talk about of mind powers on. "So, even if you can't go completely against my will when speaking of memory-alteration... what if it comes to manipulating people to specifically do something... 'to persuade' – as you had put it?"

"If I manage to make people do something, it's only because they've been secretly wanting to do it all along and just needed a little nudge. Or at least, they weren't averse to it. I can't force people to act completely against their nature. Besides," Damon pointedly shifted his gaze to my cleavage, "I'd have a hard time putting you under compulsion as long you're wearing that magical trinket."

Instinctively, my hands flew to the necklace Stefan had given me, blocking his gaze. "You mean it's really working? Not some sort of talisman to make me feel safe?"

"Stefan didn't tell you?" Damon gave me a quizzical look. "He put you under his protection. No other vampire can control you – as long as you're willingly accepting his patronage."

"His patronage? He just gave me a necklace..."

"No, it's a magical item – and it has to have his blood in it somewhere. Don't ask me exactly how it works, but it's some kind of rite or spell: In giving it to you, he offered his protection and made a claim on you, in accepting it from him, you made the magic work. No other vampire can compel you now."

"Not a very effective form of protection," I frowned. "You could always rip the necklace off. A few blisters would heal."

"You don't have to have it on you constantly for the magic to work. The necklace is just a token that carries the spell. Blood being offered, blood being accepted. Thus, it's reversible: If he takes it back or if you willingly return it or take it off, the patronage ends. But there's more to it than just protection from mind-manipulations..."

"Like what?"

"A human in a patronage usually freely shares her blood with her patron. Other vampires recognize someone else's claim on you and usually respect that by not feeding from you."

I stared at him in shock. "You mean I was branded as his personal blood bag?" I asked, wondering if he was just trying to rile me up again. Damon shrugged. "Sort of."

I shook my head. No way. Stefan wouldn't do that. He said he wasn't feeding from humans, and I believed him. "I don't believe in that esoteric stuff, anyway," I firmly told Damon. He was not going to drive a wedge between Stefan an me.

"You used to not believe in vampires," he pointed out, stealing the cookie from my saucer. "Believe me, witchcraft is for real, as you well know, having a Bennett witch as a friend. There are far more mystical things in this world than you care to know."

A thought hit me out of nowhere. Or maybe it was his talking about mysteries that had triggered it. "Can you turn yourself into a bird?" I asked him, not really sure myself what answer I was expecting.

"Come again?" His surprise was genuine, although it was immediately replaced by irony. "Well no, but I can change into a bat on a full moon..." I ignored it, holding on to the foggy thought that was becoming more clear. "I keep seeing raven-like birds all the time. Crows, except they're huge. And somehow, the sight of one always connects to a thought of you."

A lascivious smile spread across his lips. "So you're telling me that you're thinking about me a lot... now that's interesting!"

I blushed at my blunder. "No, that's not what I was saying – I didn't mean ʻall the time' in a literal sense – it was more along the line of ʻit happened a couple of times' – you know..." I broke off, realizing that I was babbling. Geez, what was wrong with me? Damon looked amused. "So what you actually meant to say is that you saw a raven once or twice and it made you think of me?" He raised his eyebrow. "Come on, you're not really thinking I'm some kind of shape-shifter!"

"I used to not believe in vampires!" I repeated his argument.

"You have a point there. So – when exactly did you see one?"

"At the cemetery, once. Another time, when I was looking for Caroline, on the night of the spring break party. Even at my window, once, when I woke up in the middle of the night. Which reminds me: First time was when I was down in Carolina, though that was way before I met you..."

The amusement completely faded from his face. "That's... scary," Damon said, and it sounded like he really meant it. Somehow, I was surprised he could even grasp the concept of fear.

"Why do you think I'm seeing it?" I asked, not even sure if I wanted to know. If the fact that I was seeing ravens unsettled him, it was probably something I shouldn't really delve into. Yet I couldn't help myself.

"I don't know. Maybe you should ask your psychic girlfriend."

"I did. She said, in mythology, the raven is a paladin who acts as a strong and protective guardian to those who are in his favor. Nice, but not exactly helpful. And seeing it didn't feel good. It felt creepy."

"Well, she didn't tell you the entire truth, then. In Celtic mythology, the raven is also associated with the god of the underworld. He's a harbinger of death and disaster."

I looked at him with mouth agape. He had to be kidding. Only it was a very bad sort of joke. You didn't tell people straight to their face about bad omens, least of all to people who already believed that they had a shadow above their heads. As I did. Ever since the tragic deaths of my brother and my parents, I had been thinking of death itself as my steady companion – walking along with me for a little while longer before it would strike one last time and take me, too. And there had been times when I thought it highly unfair that it hadn't happened yet. Still, having it told to my face that death was now haunting me in the very real form of a bird was not only mildly unsettling. It was outright terrifying.

"You think the fact that I'm seeing this bird tells me that I'm about to die?" I asked, requesting him – challenging him – to take it back. Which he did. "No, I didn't say that. Symbols are more subtle than that. That's why they're symbols."

"Then what?"

"Honestly? I think of it as a manifestation of your subconscious mind. You have a secret death wish."

"What?" I gasped, wondering if he had just been reading my thoughts. If so, he had been seriously misinterpreting them. Just because there had been times when I thought I couldn't make it through the day, times when I had been so overwhelmed with loss and grief that I had welcomed almost anything that would make the pain go away, didn't mean that I was suicidal. Not once had I considered that ending my life would be a good way to end it all. I was stronger than that. I knew my parents would have wanted me to be. Having experienced death first hand, I had just come to accept the possibility that my life could be over any moment. That didn't mean that I was hoping for it!

"I don't have a death wish! How can you say something like that?" I felt myself shake with anger. Or was it trepidation?

Damon's expression remained calm and unfazed. "Because it's true," he said simply. "How you went all by yourself after a potential rapist to save your friend. How you wandered off into one of the least respectful areas of the city all by yourself. The way you acted last night. The fact you're sitting here with me... It's plain obvious: You're courting danger. That's why you crave my company."

"I most definitively do not!" I forcefully objected, not sure, though, whether I primarily was negating the court danger or craving his company.

"Yes, you do!" Damon insisted, his eyes sparkling again. "It's unconscious. Probably because of the death of your parents. I think you blame yourself for being alive while they aren't, and you think you deserve to be taken by death, too. And a likely cause of death is what I am. That's why you find yourself drawn to me."

I could only stare at him speechlessly for a moment. This was absurd. Utterly ridiculous to the point of insulting. My eyes narrowed. "How can you be so incredibly glib and arrogant?"

"And how can you be so daring as to call a vampire glib and arrogant, if you're not looking for trouble?" he countered.

"You're not scaring me!" I claimed boldly. "If you wanted my blood, you could've taken it by now."

"Yes, I could have!" He raised his brow and gave me a meaningful look.

"But you haven't."

"Yet!"

"Then what are you waiting for? My consent?"

His gaze was thoughtful when he looked at me. "The right moment?" he offered.

"Well, good for you to be what you are," I replied snappishly, getting up. "Because you really can afford the time to wait forever."

Damon just smiled, and signaled to the waitress. "I guess we'll see about that..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you see, I've taken some liberties with those nifty vampire gifts. The important ones to keep in mind: Compulsion only works so far - compelling someone to kill a loved one wouldn't work. Garlic does have a similar effect as vervain. Contact with silver is worse than vervain and will cause severe injuries. And though vampires are sensitive to direct sunlight (it would hurt and injure them severely if they were exposed to it for a longer time), they don't need bespelled rings to walk in daylight. And I found the necklace protection highly questionable as the TVD writer's handled it, because it would be easy to rip it off. Besides, I liked the idea of having a potential bond between a human and a vampire - protection against blood. Stefan (being as righteous as he is) is probably not going to take Elena up on her end of the bargain, anyway.


	14. Handle With Care

ELENA

Strangely, the talk with Damon had helped me to come to grips with the most perturbing things I had found out about him, Alys and Stefan. His way of treating it all very matter-of-factly – as if it was normal that vampires roamed the world – somehow made the whole thing seem less of an out-of-world experience. At least I knew now what I had to fear. It was easier to watch out for a known danger than for a faceless and nameless one. This one had both, a face and a name...

I tried to shake off the feeling of uneasiness that I felt every time a thought of Damon crossed my mind. I had yet a different confrontation ahead of me, which probably would be easier than the one I had just gotten over with. When Damon and I left the café, we were well into the afternoon, and everybody from Mystic Falls was probably on their way home. I quickly sent a text message to Bonnie and Caroline, explaining that my return had been delayed – just in case they had seen my car in the parking lot and were wondering about my whereabouts. I promised that I would get in touch with them tomorrow.

Beforehand, though, I needed to talk to Stefan. Judging by the approximately 10 text messages he had left on my phone, he was desperate to see me and was already back in Mystic Falls. There was no sense in postponing it – I had to face Stefan again sometime, and the sooner I familiarized myself with that side of him, the sooner I'd be able to sleep again.

During my long drive home, I had ample time to think things over. Okay, so they were vampires. Maybe that didn't mean that everything else I had thought I knew about them was wrong. Stefan still seemed to be genuinely concerned for my welfare. Could I blame him for not telling me his secret earlier? It was definitely not something you slipped in when introducing yourself. I wouldn't have believed it anyway. Most likely, I would have shunned contact.

With Alys though, things were different. We had lived together in a tiny, cramped dorm room for almost a year, and I had considered her my friend. But only now did some of her peculiarities actually make sense to me. I even had a fair idea of what she might have needed that fridge for, the one I hadn't been allowed to touch... Still, more and more questions kept popping up in my mind, and I intended to get answers to all of them.

Instead of going home, I drove straight to Dr. Daniels's place, hoping that he was still at the hospital. Better to deal with one vampire at a time. I already knew for certain that Alys had stayed in Greenville with Damon.

Stefan opened the door. He seemed immensely relieved to see me. "I'm so glad you came..." he exclaimed, beckoning me to come in. "After last night, I was afraid you might never want to talk to me again." Yet he remained standing there almost motionless, as if he was afraid to scare me off by making a wrong move.

"Well, I can't say this is coming easy to me. But unless I'm willing to shut you and Alys completely out of my life, I need you to explain everything... at least those parts that Damon hasn't covered yet."

"Damon?" Stefan's face took on an expression of mild alarm. "Have you met him again after yesterday?"

"He waited for me at the parking lot today and took me to a nearby coffee shop."

"And you went with him?" He sounded dumbfounded.

"Well, he can be very persuasive if he has his mind set on something." Or someone.

"I'm amazed that he didn't freak you out for good. Please, come in. Unless you'd rather have us go somewhere more public, that is?"

"No, it's fine. I trust you."

"You can trust me, Elena," Stefan affirmed gravely. "I would never do anything to hurt you." He looked into my eyes imploringly, willing me to believe him. Okay. So he could be very persuasive, too. I wondered if this necklace was really offering any protection. Unbidden, Damon's explanation of its powers came to my mind:'No other vampire can compel you'. Meaning Stefan still could...

I shook off the unwelcome thought and followed Stefan into the living room, heading for the sofa. He took the chair opposite from it, anxious not to make me feel cornered. I could only marvel at how differently Stefan and Damon dealt with their vampire existence. Damon apparently didn't give it much thought, and cared even less about how people might react to him. He was what he was, plain and simple. Stefan, on the other hand, seemed very conscious, even ashamed about it. Though Damon clearly was a threat, Stefan was the one who behaved as if he was. Ironically, this constantly called his true nature to my awareness and was thus even more disconcerting.

"You were really brave, last night," Stefan eventually said. "Most people would probably have run away screaming."

"Yes, I probably would have, too, if my legs had taken me. It was a very scary sight..." I wasn't so much referring to how they had walked away from the trauma of the injuries they had suffered, as to the sheer brutality that had caused them. I hadn't thought that Stefan was capable of such violence – although the fact that he must have known Damon wouldn't be seriously hurt from his attack put it into a slightly different perspective.

"You must have about a thousand questions..."

"I'll probably keep coming up with them along the way. Damon told me about the technical details... you know – like how you can walk in the sun, how you can be killed, how you use your mind powers to trap your food..."

"I don't! I'm not feeding on humans!"

"I understand that. Just why aren't you?"

"Pardon me?"

"Well, Damon has it all right: You are vampires, you need blood to survive and you have the means to assure you get it. He also said that he doesn't kill his victims, but that they give it to him voluntarily."

"He said that? And you believed him? Elena – he has the power to take control over what people want – meaning he makes them want whatever he wants. Do you think any girl would willingly let herself be hurt and drained of blood if she knew about the risk involved?"

"What risk?"

"That the vampire to whom she was so generously offering herself might not be able to stop. I don't know how to explain that to you, because humans don't have any needs that are comparable – especially not the kind of appetite you have for a snack or a meal if you say that you're hungry. Our hunger for blood is more: it's an all-consuming, primal urge, a lust that demands to be sated, a sentiment that overrules all rational thinking. We're much closer to wild animals than human beings when hunger overtakes us."

"But you all seem to cope pretty well," I interjected. "I've seen neither one of you go berserk on any human around..."

"Because at least Alys and I are being extremely cautious not to evoke temptation. Why do you think she doesn't go out in crowds? She's extremely sensitive to the smell of human blood. Vampires become more sensitized to it as they grow older. It's hard for her to maintain control when assaulted from all sides with those delicious and intoxicating scents. Like I said, we much resemble animals in that way – being in the middle of a herd stirs our hunting instincts."

I tried to get my mind around the things he was telling me. "But you're going out to parties..." I pointed out the hole in his argument.

"I try to keep myself separated as much as possible. I only go after I've had a couple of days' worth of blood in me. So far, I've managed to stay in control, but sometimes, it's hard, even for me, though I don't even drink human blood."

"And Alys?"

"She feeds from blood bags, occasionally. She needs that to keep up her protection to UV light. We don't get that from animal blood alone."

"Wait a minute – what about you?"

He hesitated. "I'm still relatively young for a vampire. I still have some protection, but it will begin to wear off in time. As much as I'm dreading the thought – there might be at time when I will have to resort to blood bags as well."

"But still, Damon feeds from humans constantly. And yet he doesn't lose it..."

A frown creased Stefan's face. "Did Damon claim that he's never killed anybody, or never harmed the person he fed from?"

"No..." Reluctantly, I shook my head. He had just said that he didn't have to kill. Not that he never did or never had. Stefan gave me a meaningful look. "Well, then at least he doesn't lie."

"Have you?" I asked.

Stefan's expression changed. He averted his eyes, but not before I caught a glimpse of deep regret in them – and guilt. I thought he was not going to answer my question. But he did. "Yes," he said, tonelessly. "I have. Though I never meant to. I – lost control. Once. And it's been haunting me ever since. Knowing that I am responsible for someone's death, the cause of so much grief for the people left behind... it's very hard to live with that. I know that I'm not that kind of person, and I know that it was an accident. But it doesn't really make it any easier..."

His confession took my breath away for a moment. Though it didn't change my view of him, it was still hard to digest. It was easy to imagine that Damon had taken lives before. Most likely, he didn't even have regrets about it. It was just who he was – a vampire. But Stefan? This must be eating him up inside. I had rarely met anyone who had such high expectations, strong beliefs and unshakable moral values, and who tried so hard to measure up to them himself.

"I understand," I said softly, reaching out and touching his hand, meaning to tell him that I didn't think less of him because of what he had done. It could happen to any of us. A momentary loss of control, a moment where attention drifted... Most car accidents happened like this. It had happened with my parents.

Stefan gave me a peculiar expression. "It's something you can't possibly understand, Elena. You can't know how it is to have this monster lurking inside your own body, and how watchful you have to be not to ever let it take control. Damon might succeed in controlling himself most of the time, but there is no guarantee. His attitude puts people in danger. He is a threat to the life of every girl he feeds on, and he's a threat to your life, even though it might not be his intention to harm you. But I know that he wants you. He's been lusting for you since the day he first set his eyes on you. And he's willing to do anything, really everything to get what he wants."

His words exactly mirrored what Alys had told me before. Had he taken it from her, or the other way round? Or had they both come to the same conclusion? That Damon possibly had an interest in turning me into his next victim was not so surprising. He probably bit and bedded every woman with a heartbeat.

"There is this sort of rivalry between the two of you that I don't understand..." I said, wondering why Stefan took so much offense at Damon's lifestyle. If I hadn't known any better, I'd have said he sounded like a jealous lover – someone who had a claim. "Not that it makes any sense, though, now that I know how you feel."

"Oh, but it does!" Stefan objected. "As I said, I very much care about you. I want for you to be happy. And I have an inexplicable feeling that I have to protect you from Damon. Probably he knows that I'm watching his every move and that I won't let him have his way with you. I don't trust him."

"What do you know about him that you aren't telling me?"

"Only what Alys confided in me. Things from their past. How they got changed."

Funny. Now that Stefan mentioned it, I realized that I never asked him about that. It seemed like an awfully important piece of information – the way someone died and became someone different. An essential part of who they were now. "How did you get changed?"

Stefan's face hardened. "I... don't like to talk about it. It's still too fresh, even if it was quite a while ago. Time feels different if you're close to immortal. It was a lifetime ago, and yet, sometimes it still feels like it was only yesterday."

"Will you tell me – sometime?"

He looked at me with those deep and sad eyes that held so many secrets and so much sorrow. I wished I could do something about the latter, but for that he would have to deal with the first. I could only trust him so far, if the feeling wasn't returned. After a short while he slightly bent his head and nodded. It was enough for now.

"There is just one more question..." I said, feeling a little awkward about asking it. But I trusted Stefan to answer me honestly, and I needed to know. "The fact that you are a vampire – does that have anything to do with why we didn't work out?"

Again, Stefan hesitated briefly, as if silently debating if he should tell me. "That was definitely part of it, yes. Vampires and humans can't be together. It's a pairing bound for disaster."

"Why? You said you don't feed from humans..."

"That doesn't mean that I don't have the urge to do so. Just because I've so far successfully been fighting temptation, doesn't mean it's easy. Being together with someone, with all the intimacy involved, would make it so much harder."

"I don't understand. If you're in love with someone – shouldn't it make you make you even less inclined to hurt that person?"

"Not wanting to hurt the person is no guarantee that you won't do so anyway. Like I said, hunger is all too closely related to similar feelings, like lust, need, passion, even anger. It's hard to differentiate. To be together with a human and not bite them, it's impossible. Do you have any idea what it would be like to constantly live with that kind of temptation? Being around the person who's the most attractive to you, whose smell is enticing like no other? Who's always warm, welcoming and embracing? Can you imagine being in a relationship when you can never ever allow your control to slip, when you can never ever let go? Because from what I understand, that's what loving someone is about."

I swallowed. "What about Caroline? Do you think Damon's – feeding from her?"

"What do you think, Elena? Haven't you noticed the scarves she's constantly wearing? Why do you think that is?"

I remembered the marks I had seen on her. Of course he had been feeding on her. And with Damon's powers to alter memories, she probably wouldn't remember. A new feeling of dread settled in my stomach. I had told her that he'd been using her, but I hadn't meant it quite as literally as that. Using her as his own personal blood bag was even worse than using her for sex, and in combination it made me think of dungeons, chains and whips.

"I can't believe he'd hurt her like that! How come I never noticed anything? Shouldn't there be symptoms?"

"She might feel tired and lack energy. Does she seem paler to you than usual?"

"Maybe – but not so much as to have me concerned..."

"Well, if Damon's sensible, he'll not overdo it. Besides, it's not the blood loss I'm most concerned about, but the continuous removal of memories. It might seriously mess up her brain, in the long run. Vampires normally don't feed from the same source constantly, at least not if it requires altering memories. And given that Caroline obviously doesn't have a clue about what he's been doing to her, he must have done that a couple of times."

So, apart from drawing blood from her, Damon was seriously messing with her brain. And given the nature of their 'relationship', which doubtlessly included a lot of lust and passion and raw need, Caroline was in constant danger that Damon might lose it and mistake all that for hunger.

My reasonable, conscious mind felt the need to send a brief reminder to its potentially traitorous subconscious: Falling for a vampire was a bad move. Falling for a bad vampire was courting disaster.

*'*'*'*'*

As soon as I was back in my car and ready to finally head home, I picked up my phone and dialed Damon's number. I was worried, freaked out and angry. He picked up on the second ring, and I wasted no time with pleasantries.

"You'll have to stop seeing Caroline – immediately, understand me? I'm dead serious about it this time, Damon, and I'm not going to take 'no' for an answer."

"Well, hello to you, too, stalker chick. May I ask how you came by this number?"

"I've seen it on Caroline's phone enough times to know it by heart."

"I'm flattered," he said, probably grinning smugly. "But there's no need to be jealous. I hadn't expected you to change your mind so quickly about the biting stuff... even less that you'd want me to get rid of Caroline for that. I hate to disappoint, but I'm not going exclusive. You could always share, though..."

"Huh?" I was momentarily confused, until I remembered our last topic of conversation – his plans about drawing my blood. Of course, he had to twist everything just so that the outcome sounded naughty. "When hell freezes over, Damon! It was bad enough when I thought you were just the average jerk, but knowing now that you are a blood-sucking jerk with killer potential..."

"Geez, someone's being judgemental all of a sudden... You were so much nicer this morning."

"That's because I didn't know what you've been doing to Caroline then!"

"Seriously? Which part about 'I'm a vampire and I feed on humans' didn't you get?"

"She's not a random human, Damon!" I almost yelled into the phone. "She's my friend! She's your friend, for God's sake! Mosquito bites – kiss my ass! This won't continue. You'll let her down gently, or I swear I'll have you reported."

He snorted. "Really? You're going to go to Sheriff Forbes and tell her that I'm a vampire?"

"No. I'm going to the University board and tell them that you're screwing a student." There was a brief pause. "Are you threatening me?" Damon then asked with mild surprise in his voice.

"Well, I don't threaten people very often, so you have to cut me some slack if it wasn't obvious enough..." I retorted sarcastically. "Yes, Damon: I am threatening to make you lose your job if you don't put a stop to what you're doing with Caroline."

"See, I told you: You do have a death wish!"

"You can't scare me, Damon."

"Oh, I bet I could! But enlighten me – what turned you into an avenger in suicide mode all of a sudden?"

"I've seen the bitemarks on her body."

"All of them?" he asked, in that exasperating voice that he used whenever he meant to provoke. I could almost see his raised brows through the phone. I chose to ignore his transparent attempt at deflection. If his remark was meant to cause shock or embarrassment, it was all the more reason not to fall into either.

"You've been feeding on her and erasing her memory. Repeatedly. And you just confirmed what Stefan told me: There is no such thing as perfect control, especially not when you feel angry or passionate about something. You might lose it and kill her."

"Stefan told you that? Has he become an expert on live feedings, lately?"

"Is he wrong?"

"Not entirely," Damon answered straight off, without even a hint of guilt in his voice. As if it was inconsequential. "But there is nothing passionate about my involvement with Caroline – she is a necessity. I'm trying to keep a low profile here, and she came in handy for that. I have absolutely no reason to want her dead. So contrary to you, she's perfectly safe with me."

Meaning that he did have a reason to want me dead and that he was passionately angry with me? "I tried to ask you nicely, Damon." I pointed out, just for the record. "More than once. Caroline is my friend, and I care about her. So you either end it with her once and for all, or you'll suffer the consequences."

Again, he remained silent for a moment, and I started to wonder how he was reacting to my threats. Was he already pondering how to best get rid of me? At the moment, I couldn't care less.

"Very well," he finally said.

"Very well what?" I asked back, puzzled. It couldn't be that easy.

"I'll end it with her once and for all."

"Damon, seriously – are you trying to vex me? What is that supposed to mean? Are you planning on sucking her dry?"

"Well, from what I understood, that's not what you had in mind – correct me if I'm mistaken. You want me to get rid of her, and I will. As simple as that."

"Nothing is ever simple with you," I muttered, frustrated.

"I guess we're similar that way." I swear I could hear light amusement in his voice. He was probably smirking.

"Well, since you're obviously feeling generous tonight: If it's within your bounds of possibility, could you try to go easy on her? She's totally smitten with you, still, despite what you've been doing to her."

"I told you!" Another smug smile.

"Just let her down gently, okay. Please?"

"So we're now from insulting over threatening to flattering and begging... interesting strategy!"

"Does it work?" Given that he still sounded mildly amused and maybe slightly baffled, I dared to get my hopes up.

"I promise she's not going to suffer anymore. There – are you satisfied?"

Actually, no, I wasn't. Damon was the master of double meanings, and that was making me wonder if I had just agreed to something that I would regret. But given that I couldn't very well ask him to put down the exact terms and conditions and sign them, I agreed, if only reluctantly.

When I finally arrived home, Caroline was waiting there for me, obviously miffed. "What the heck's going on with you, Elena?" she scolded, as soon as Jenna was out of earshot. "You skip classes, tell us by a note under the door that you're heading home, and then you only show up hours after everyone else. Where have you been? Jenna would've had a fit by now if I had told her."

"So you haven't? Great, thanks for covering. I'm sorry I'm late. There were a few things that had happened that I needed to sort out. I just – needed some alone time to think."

"Did you have a fight with Stefan? Do you want to talk about it?"

"No, that's not it. Forget about it. Actually, I'd rather have a reprieve from boy drama. How about an all girls evening? We haven't had that in a while."

"Great idea! We can have a slumber party at Bonnie's, like we did last year, remember? That was fun! I'll call her right away..." Enthusiastically, Caroline picked up her phone and organized our evening, DVD's to be watched and snacks to be brought included.

Given that we hadn't briefed Caroline about Bonnie's witchcraft abilities yet, we never got to watch much TV, though. Once that cat was out of the bag, the topic pretty much monopolized our evening. Bonnie repeated the feather experiment, and gave another demonstration.

"Watch out now", she said, once she had scattered about 50 different kinds of candles all over the room. She closed her eyes again, took a breath and began mumbling something that definitively included the word "incendia". All of a sudden, the candles came to life – all of them, and the room was ablaze with light.

We gasped and stared in wonder. "Bonnie – this is awesome..." Caroline shrieked and clapped her hands, beaming with excitement. "I can't believe you actually did that! What else can you do?"

Bonnie and I exchanged a brief glance and I could see that she politely refrained from rolling her eyes at Caroline's exuberance. "I'm still learning. Grams is teaching me new things every time I'm home, and I'm supposed to got through her witchcraft books while I'm not. Most of it is very specific, though – how to break a curse, how to call on the spirits, how to weave a protection spell against supernatural evil. Given that I've never come across a curse or anything supernatural and wouldn't know why to call upon spirits in the first place, I don't really know what's the point in that. Admittedly, calling fire to a candle comes in handy when lightning a birthday cake, but otherwise I still fail to see the practical use of witchcraft."

I kept my expression carefully neutral and refrained from commenting. She had no idea that supernatural evil was a far more realistic danger than she suspected.

"Can't you do anything a little more gipsy?" Caroline inquired. "Like predicting the future? Cooking up a love potion? Curse Professor Anderson with warts and make Mr. Saltzman pick up the teaching of her classes?"

"I'm afraid not. I'm obviously not a gipsy."

"Too bad." Caroline made a face. "I bet your grams is purposely keeping those things from you for as long as possible. She probably doesn't want you to get into any kind of mischief."

"Probably. Grams made it very clear that you're not supposed to use your powers lightly. Upsetting the balance of nature will incur the wrath of the spirits, and apparently, you don't want to mess with those."

"Just keep up with whatever your grams is teaching you," I advised, thinking a little regretfully how handy a protection spell against supernatural evil would have been just a couple of weeks ago. "You never know when you might need it."


	15. Total Eclipse of the Heart

ALYS

I felt a wave of immense relief on hearing from Stefan that Elena had been over to see him the night before. When he had all of a sudden shown up at my drama class meeting to pick me up Thursday night, I had immediately known something was amiss. He had been utterly devastated, and ever since telling me how Elena had accidentally stumbled in on a fight he'd had with Damon and what she had witnessed, I had been, too. But I couldn't help feeling a weird kind of relief as well.

Elena knew – and this finally put an end to all the lying and hiding and keeping things from her. It had not been easy. How do you hide an essential part of what you are from someone, in the forced intimacy of a dorm room? I doubted that it would have worked out with anyone but Elena. She had never once opened my fridge. If she thought me a paranoid, psychopathic freak, she had been gracious about it from the day we met.

What would she be thinking now, knowing that she had spent an entire year with a vampire in the closet – almost literally speaking, considering the lack of space? That I had lusted for her blood? Not that I had. The cravings usually corresponded to the other hungers and longings people felt, and thus tended to focus on the opposite gender. It was manageable to be close with females, as long as I wasn't desperately hungry, and I always saw to that. With boys, on the other hand... I had never told Elena why I did not care get close to all her friends, or that I was meeting Jeremy at the library every other weekend. I still felt guilty about that.

At least I was now able to make my warnings about Damon a bit more specific, so that she'd be more inclined to listen to them. Provided she'd be willing to talk to me at all, after finding out that I had been betraying her confidence and her friendship for so long. Despite Stefan's reassurances, I spent my whole weekend worrying about seeing her on Monday.

But then, unexpectedly, Elena showed up at the boarding house on Sunday afternoon. I was in my room, writing in my diary, when Damon called up that she was there to see me. Nervously, I came down, still not sure what kind of reaction to expect from her.

Elena was obviously feeling awkward, too, at least judging from the glance she gave me. "Let's go for a walk," I suggested, not wanting Damon to be privy to our talk. "In a vampire house, walls definitely have ears."

Elena looked a little confused at that. "Extra sensitive hearing," I explained. "Didn't Damon tell you?" She threw him a quizzical look. "Well, we probably didn't get everything covered. I know about extra speed, super strength and frightening mind-powers. Is there anything else you forgot to mention?"

"We're awesome in the sack!" Damon put in, smirking. "But I didn't forget to mention it. I just don't brag."

Elena rolled her eyes and dragged me to the door. So apparently, she wasn't afraid or terribly uncomfortable around me.

"Have fun, girls!" Damon winked, cheerfully calling after Elena: "And don't get yourself bitten – there's mosquitos out there!"

I shot him a reproachful look and grabbed my jacket. The sun was just on the brink of going down as we passed the house and took the little trail that was leading into the woods bordering the premises. "I'm sorry..." was the first thing I blurted out, as soon as were out of Damon's earshot. "For having to lie to you all this time. I'm not saying that I normally don't – it wouldn't be true. In fact, you get used to it. It's all I've been doing, for decades and decades."

"Yes," Elena said softly. "I can imagine that you just don't think about it anymore, after a while."

I took a deep breath. "I didn't, in the beginning. Sharing a room with you was just an inconvenience I had to put up with. You might laugh about Bonnie being psychic and such, but she really is. She knew something was wrong with me, and I had to be extremely careful not to even touch her. I couldn't compel her, either – witches are immune to the mind powers, unless they allow you into their minds."

"Did you ever compel me?" Elena asked, fearful of my answer. At least that I could answer with complete and utter honesty. "No, never! I couldn't have done it, anyway, but it wasn't even necessary. You really respected my need for privacy, which I found hard to believe. I had learned long ago not to put my trust in anybody, and learning that you were actually worthy of it was making it ever harder to lie to your face. You felt like a friend, and I haven't had a friend in years. I'm afraid I'm not good at that." Elena smiled. "You did fine."

"Considering what I am, you mean?"

"Considering how hard it must be for you to be burdened with a secret so dark and dangerous that it requires being dishonest even with people you feel close to. Considering how hard it must be allow yourself to be close to anybody at all."

I gave her a surprised look. How was it possible that she understood how much of a curse eternal life really was? "It's kind of funny, actually," I said. "People are so obsessed with the idea of immortality... It's something that mankind has always been striving for – eternal youth, eternal beauty, eternal life. They never think about what it really means."

"Well, it does have some undeniable advantages to it. I think it would be nice never to worry about growing old, but keeping a young and supple body forever."

"You do? I envy you for being able to age."

"What's great about that?" Elena asked. "You get wrinkles, it gets harder to keep weight off, and eventually, your body might not be able to keep up with your mind anymore."

"Yes. So don't you see what I'll be missing out on? I stopped maturing at nineteen, and I will stay 19 for ever."

"Not really," she objected. "You just don't change appearance."

I sighed. Yes, that's what it must look like to humans – that we were living normal lives with the benefit of an ageless body. But the possibilities were pitifully restricted. Some things could only to be obtained with age, and were thus forever out of our reach. "I'm never going to be a mother," I stated the most obvious, probably hardest experience to miss out on. "I'll never know what it's like to worry about a teenage daughter. I'll never have to define my life anew after the kids are out of the house. I'm never gonna be a grandmother. I can never rise up to the challenges that come with a changing body, never prove myself in coming to grips with it. All these experiences shape what you are – it's how you sail through life that defines your own true self."

"But you still experience things..." Elena said, sounding a bit more hesitant and unsure.

"Only in an ever repeating environment. Do you know what's good about wrinkles? They force you to move on. They remind you physically every day that you don't belong into a certain phase of your life anymore. You don't hang out with 17-year-olds if you're 30, it wouldn't be fitting, and that would be plain obvious. But look at me – I am over a hundred, and yet the only company I fit into is that of those around twenty. I'll be a student forever. This is all I'm ever going to get. My lack of wrinkles and of certain experiences that come with age will not allow me to move on. I'm frozen in time. That's why they call us the living dead, I guess."

"You don't like being a vampire," Elena remarked, stating the obvious. I shook my head as my voice slightly faltered: "I hate it. I hated what Damon had done to us, although at the time, I thought I understood his motives. Now I'm not so sure anymore."

I didn't allow my thoughts to go back to that day when I had lost everything: the brother I had always loved and looked up to, my hopes and my dreams. "The most obvious reason to turn someone would be to do it out of love – so as not to lose them forever..." I sighed. "Maybe Damon did love me back then. But that was a long time ago. Now he's – different. Eternal life does that to you. Do you realize how many loved ones you're forced to watch die if you're immortal? Every time you find someone you care about, it comes with an expiration date, because you can't stay close to him for more than a few years without giving your secret away. Even if you find someone you trust enough, they die eventually, and you're staring at yet another grave. Sooner or later, you just give up and stop having relationships at all in order to prevent yourself from hurting. You get lonely and bitter."

"Is that what you think happened to Damon?" Elena asked.

Not really. "It's what happened to me," I said. Damon, in all those years, had never been looking for meaningful relationships, for stability. He lived in the moment, followed his instincts and always did as he pleased. I envied him that, sometimes. But it was only possible to live cheerfully as a vampire if you stopped caring and didn't give a damn about the consequences. "If you have lived for more than a century, 30 or 40 years are nothing to you," I tried to explain what made it so hard for vampires to keep their humanity. "Human life span becomes insignificant. You see people die over and over again, and it makes you care less and less. It's probably self-preservation. You can take human life as easily as you kill a bug or a fly, without giving a second thought, because its short, pitiful life doesn't have any meaning to you. But this is what makes you lose your humanity and turns you cold inside, arrogant and cynical. As it did with Damon. I don't see the brother I once loved in him anymore."

"You're judging him too harshly," Elena said, shaking her head. "He's never been cold around me. Arrogant and cynical, yes, but his indifference – I think it's just a facade. Obviously, he still cares for you, or he wouldn't have come back for you." Of course that's what it must seem like to her. But whatever had brought Damon here, I highly doubted it was me. "That's just you being forgiving, ever-understanding and nonjudgmental," I said teasingly, but still meaning every word. "Did I mention hopelessly optimistic?"

"Hey, I'm not that bad!"

"No, you're everything but. And I'm eternally grateful for that, because it would really suck to lose you as a friend."

Elena smiled at me. "I told you before, Alys, stop worrying so much. I'm not lost that easily."

 

ELENA

Damon must have carried out his promise and broken up with Caroline immediately after we got back from Mystic Falls. During our lunch break on Monday, Caroline almost cheerfully informed us that she and Damon were history. To Bonnie's and my utter bewilderment, she was neither crying her eyes out, nor having a tantrum, which would have been the normal, expected reaction.

First, we thought that she was deep in denial, or probably so shocked that she refused to let her feelings show. We both feared that it would catch up with her later and kept a close eye on her for the next days, in case she crashed in a postponed reaction. But even after a couple of days, nothing of the sort happened. Caroline wasn't heartbroken at all, but seemed full of energy and confidence. It was unnerving.

When I carefully inquired about Damon, she waved it off, like he had never mattered to her. She happily went back to Mystic Falls with us on the weekend and cheerfully hung out with us at the Grill, never once complaining about it being dull or boring. Bonnie noted the change in her, too, but given that she did not suspect an evil force behind it as I did, she just shrugged it off. "Maybe she's finally starting to develop some common sense. It's about time."

Yet I couldn't help but watch her behavior with wary eyes. When I met Damon at the campus cafeteria during lunch break the following week, I tackled Damon about my concerns. "Something's definitely wrong with Caroline!" I told to him, while eying the menu of the day in the food serving counters and pushing my tray along. "Have you heard that she's been hanging about with Matt the entire weekend? Matt, of all people. She always called him a boring nerd. Just what exactly did you do to her?"

"Only what you asked me to," he said, shrugging, and poured himself a coffee. "I took away her suffering."

That answer had me puzzled. "Whatever is that supposed to mean? What has she been suffering from?"

He raised his brows. "From a serious lack of self-esteem, if you ask me."

"Damon!" I said, exasperated, grabbing a salad and slamming it onto my tray rather forcefully. Why did I always have to drag every single detail out of his mouth? "Just what exactly did you tell her?"

"I just put the idea in her mind that she didn't need an incredibly attractive guy like me at her side to feel valued, and that she therefore had decided to dump me."

"You made her believe she actually dumped you for Matt?" I asked in bewilderment. If he managed to sell her that, his mind powers were awe-inspiring, indeed.

"The Matt part was none of my making. The dumping part was. I thought it was the easiest way out. No reason to complicate matters with rivalry and cat fights." Damon gave me one of his irritating smiles that was somewhere between mischievous, charming and incredibly annoying. I decided to simply ignore the implications he was making, and turned to get my cutlery. "The thing is – Caroline's been acting completely different ever since," I said, still not convinced he had nothing to do with her sudden change of behavior and suspecting foul play. "She's relaxed, and easy-going... it's like you turned her into a different person!"

"I told you, Elena," Damon said in a serious voice, following me to the register. "I can't change personalities. I can only make people believe what they have known all along on a subconscious level, or what they always longed to believe. In her case, it was both." He paid his coffee and turned back to me, giving me his signature smirk. "Problem solved – I'm free for the taking again!"

"Given that it's mostly you, taking for free... Sorry. Not interested!" And with that, I took my tray and headed for the table where Stefan, Bonnie and Caroline were sitting.

They were deep in discussion about the Founders' Party that took place every summer. Or rather – Caroline was deep into it. "Mrs. Lockwood has entrusted Matt and me with the organization of the party," she was explaining to Stefan, who she probably thought hadn't heard about it yet. "It's really a big thing! I know it'll be a lot of work, especially since I have a very tight studying schedule with all the stuff I need to catch up on for some of classes. But Matt and I already have some ideas worked out – it's gonna be brilliant, really. We thought we could maybe make it a theme party, like a black-and white party, or a decade thing..."

I listened to Caroline's elaborate depiction with my mouth slightly agape. I wasn't sure if it was the repeated 'Matt and I' part that still had me dazzled, her sudden enthusiasm for partaking in the community life of a town she had always found dull and boring, or the fact that she claimed to have worked out a tight studying schedule.

Caroline suddenly paused and frowned. "Why do you keep staring at me like that? Seriously, Elena, it's getting creepy!"

"Says the unknown woman who took possession of my friend's body!" I countered. "Where is the Caroline I knew and what have you done to her?"

Caroline's frown deepened. "Are you're talking about the annoyingly superficial, boy-hunting party-girl version of me?"

"Yes," I spontaneously replied, my brain-to-mouth checkpoint being momentarily unoccupied. Bonnie stared at me in shock. My hand flew to my mouth as if I could put the it back in. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it like that." I sighed, feeling frustrated without really knowing why. Maybe it all had been a little too much to take in. "It's just weird how everybody seems to change all of a sudden," I tried an explanation that left out the crucial details about people unveiling a side that had been carefully hidden before, and avoided meeting Stefan's gaze. "Jenna is really getting serious with Alaric – and I mean really super-serious – and Jeremy suddenly discovers his interest in poetry – of all things! – and you, I don't know... since when have you become so responsible? I mean, you've always had a talent for really pushing things and a determination to get what you want... It's just that you seemed to have applied them differently..."

"Like on irresistibly hot yet narcissistic and obnoxious jerks that treat you like dirt?" Caroline enquired, sounding relaxed and taking a hearty bite from her sandwich.

"Admittedly, I was particularly, but not solely, referring to Damon."

"Well, I guess I sort of had an eye opener that evening I dragged you to that stupid club. Everybody said it was cool because they knew it was dangerous – not in the nicest neighborhood, notorious for its crowd and for the drug dealing. I should have known better than make you go there with me."

"Stop feeling guilty about that. It was my fault – I was the one who ran away."

"But you were right to be mad. I was there because of Damon, and because I wanted to be hip, do something cool. And you were there only because of me. I never told you before, because I didn't mean to freak you out any more than you possibly were – but did you know that three guys got brutally slain just three blocks away from the club? It was a bloody massacre according to the headlines, supposedly meant as a warning to a rival gang. Just imagine if you had accidentally run into that!"

I felt the blood drain from my face. "Just when did you say that happened?"

"About two weeks ago. The bodies were found the same evening you got lost in exactly that area. You were extremely lucky, Elena."

I could only stare at her in shock. I should have known. At least, I should have suspected someting. But I was obviously too good at blocking unpleasant thoughts from my mind. "Elena? What is it? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"I sort of did, I mumbled faintly, grabbing my books and heading for the exit.

"Wait! Where are you going?" I heard Caroline call after me, but I was already out the door, heading straight for Damon's office. I didn't even consider that he might not be alone, but simply tore the door open and barged in. "Caroline just told me about a newspaper article concerning a gang related crime in Greenville about two weeks ago. Does that perchance ring a bell?"

Damon was sitting at his desk, not even looking up when I stormed in. Stupid vampire hearing. He had probably heard me coming from way down the hall already. "Nope, didn't hear a bell. Funny enough, I didn't even hear a knock. You know, that hollow sound of knuckles against wood when asking permission to enter?"

"Well, I'm familiar with the sound of wood slamming into wood when kicking a door shut, saying 'I'm not gonna leave before I have some answers'!"

He didn't even flinch at the loud bang, merely raised his head to look at me. A smirk lifted the corner of his mouth. "As much as I appreciate your urgent desire to see me, I'm afraid you're showing up out of my office hours."

I propped my arms against his desk and stared back at him. "How can you sit there and be smug like that? You killed three people!"

"I really don't mean to shatter your illusions, Elena, but I've clearly killed more than just three."

"Don't screw with me!"

His eyes lit up at that. "You sure? You might actually like it if I did..." he hummed suggestively. I ignored the lewd comment and narrowed my eyes.

"I'm talking about the three most recent ones that you hopefully still remember. Or at least I hope they were the most recent ones: The guys who attacked me two weeks ago... Caroline just told me that they were all found dead!"

He didn't deny it; didn't even make an effort to explain. He just continued to look at me as if waiting for me to say something else. "And your point being...?" he eventually questioned. I wasn't sure if he was really incapable of seeing why this upset me or just pretending to be. "Damon! They were human beings!"

"Yes, Elena, and I am a vampire!" he said, sounding a little exasperated now. "I'm a hunter, they're prey. That's just the hierarchy in the food chain."

"This had nothing to do with you needing to feed! They said it was a massacre – cold-blooded murder!"

"Well, if it's any comfort to you, it wasn't cold-blooded at all. On the contrary: My blood was boiling rather hotly and I was extremely pissed for a lot of reasons, one of them being the fact that they were holding a helpless girl down and had just started to rip the clothes from her body." His voice was still even, but I thought I could feel the tension in it. "Though I might admittedly have gone a little overboard when tearing them to pieces."

I felt my legs weaken at the memory his words brought back and slid into the chair in front of his desk. Of course they had deserved it. And a small part of me was satisfied that they were dead, no longer a threat to anyone, and that they had suffered beforehand. But it was not the death of my attackers that had shaken me up me so badly. It was the fact that Damon had ruthlessly and remorselessly ripped them apart. I had suspected that he was capable of violence, and Alys and Stefan had both told me so. But having practically witnessed him commit multiple homicide and being the cause for it, was disturbing. "But you said you didn't kill people..." I said weakly.

"I said I didn't have to – not that I didn't!" Damon waited for his words to fully register, before leaning closer and emphasizing his point: "If you think I'm just an ordinary guy who just happens to need an occasional sip of blood and likes to play a little rough sometimes, then you clearly have not been paying attention. I'm a predator. If someone gets on my wrong side, at the wrong time..." He snapped is fingers, startling me. "More often than not, I simply follow my instincts."

"Which is to kill whoever is facing you, even innocent people?"

Damon frowned. "As to those three I finished off, you'll surely agree with me that they were hardly innocent. Unless you entertain any doubts as to what they would have done to you if I hadn't been there in time..."

"I try not to think about it. But the fact is – they didn't."

"Only because I finished them off beforehand! Or would you rather have had me wait until I had proof?" He shook his head, as if he couldn't quiet believe we were having this conversation. Clearly, he didn't see the point in it. "Their intention was clear, and that was reason enough for me to finish them off."

"So you think you are always able to tell people's motives?"

"I'd say I mostly manage to distinguish between the victim and the culprit. Those jerks had it coming, and I don't regret for a second what I did to them! Actually, I think I was doing society a big favor by removing them."

"You are not the world's secret police force!"

"And I don't think of myself as that. I think I'm more like a virus – something nature put into place to make sure there is a balance. I don't follow moral considerations when doing what instinct dictates. We're much closer to animals that way. Only humans tend to have a soft spot even for those who endanger their own herd – trying to save everybody, even from their own cruel selves, believing there's a way to redeem them. Well, I don't. I think there's lots of people out there who don't deserve to be a part of society."

"That's saying that not every life has worth."

Damon shrugged. "Perception of the worth of human life has always been subject to time, place and the current line of ethics. When I grew up, there was slavery in our country. People were hanged and mutilated for committing crimes, there was male dominance over women who weren't considered to be equal or to have the same worth as men. Being part of society, I can't say the changes that occurred over the last century passed me without notice. But in the end, each of us has to follow their own principles, and it's quite obvious that my perception of right and wrong differs from yours."

He paused and gave me a scrutinizing glance. "I don't believe in trying to better people, Elena. So don't try and think you could better me!"

*'*'*'*

The weekend came, and to my surprise, Stefan invited me over to Dr. Daniels's house for Friday evening. It was unexpected. After all, weren't dating – and yet he wanted to meet me alone, somewhere private, and he seemed oddly nervous about it. "I need to talk to you about something," he said, sounding rather cryptic. "It's been on my mind for a long time now."

Given that the content of most talks recently had tended to be somewhat disturbing, the prospect of having another one was a bit unsettling. And it didn't help either that Stefan gave off a vibe that I could only perceive as guilt when he said it. So yes, I was slightly worried when I drove up to Dr. Daniels's house at eight. I had felt uneasy and nervous all day – as if I had suddenly become a focus of attention, though of what, I couldn't say. Having weird and unspecific forebodings was Bonnie's field of expertise, not mine. I was probably just being paranoid.

To my surprise, Dr. Daniels was home, too, and came to greet me. I hadn't seen him in a while. He wasn't partaking much in Mystic Falls' social life, probably purposely avoiding the company – and temptation – of humans. Despite his rather gloomy profession as pathologist and coroner of Mystic Falls, Elijah was amiable and gracious, and very much a Southern gentlemen. I vaguely remembered seeing him in our house when I was a child. He had been a good friend of my parents.

We exchanged a few pleasantries and he inquired about how things were going now that I was back in Mystic Falls and if I liked Greenville college. His interest seemed honest, but as often with people who had known me in the past, it carried a hint of regret and sadness. He probably remembered how things had been before my parents died and I had left town, and was fearful to raise the topic of my sad past. It was the only logical explanation as to why he seemed to be nervous, worried and oddly guilt-ridden as well – except for me clearly having my crazy day. Trying to shake of the feeling of uneasiness, I politely answered Elijah's questions and gladly followed Stefan upstairs.

It was the first time that I set foot in Stefan's room. He had never taken me there while our relationship was still somewhat hazy, probably afraid that it would be sending a wrong signal. He still didn't feel entirely comfortable about it now. His room was a little bit of a mess. Not that there were undies lying about or anything embarrassing, it was just cluttered with stuff, mostly books.

"I'm sorry, it's a little bit untidy," he apologized nevertheless. "I'm not the most organized person and apart from being a hunter, I'm also very much a gatherer, I'm afraid."

I had to smile at that. "According to Damon, you're not much of a hunter," I teased.

Stefan shrugged. "I guess that depends on how you look at it. I spend a lot of time out in the wood, chasing deer, whereas his activities fall more into the category of stalking." Since I didn't feel like discussing Damon with him again, I didn't dwell on that. I don't know why I had brought him up in the first place. I took a look around, wondering if his room would give away a little more about who Stefan really was. He had once assured me that I knew everything important about him. But that had been even before I knew he was a vampire, and I strongly felt that this did count as a crucial detail. So if there was something he felt he needed to tell me now, it had to be of vital importance.

The room, despite being cramped, was cozy and felt homey. Maybe it was the smell of all those books that lined the shelves, or the couch underneath the window. I could envision him sitting there, his feet stretched out comfortably and writing his diary. It was a position I was familiar with – except that I wasn't sitting on a couch, but on my upholstered window-bench. His bed was at least queen-size, and to give him credit – it was made. Not exactly neatly so, but you could see the intention. There was a poster of his favorite band on the back of his door, featuring a concert back in the late 90s. I knew already he was into that kind of music.

"Would you like something to drink?" Stefan asked. Given that he still seemed tense, he probably needed a reprieve. "I could also make us a sandwich, I don't know if you've eaten already."

In fact, I hadn't, as the growling of my stomach at his mention of food just reminded me. Stefan grinned. "I take that as a 'yes' to sandwiches. Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back."

He left for the kitchen and I resumed my inspection, wandering along the shelves and browsing the titles of the books. A lot of them we had discussed already, some of them were my favorites, too. Which couldn't be said for the music. His CD collection comprised mostly of music bands that I considered quiet retro. But then, so was the fact that he still had a collection of CDs in the age of clouds, streams and MP3's.

Finally, I decided to snuggle up on the sofa, where Stefan had obviously last been reading. On sitting down, I accidentally knocked down a book that I hadn't seen hidden in the folds of a blanket when pushing it aside. The bookmark fell out. Hoping that Stefan was not someone to rely on bookmarks to find the page last read, I bend down to pick it up. The bookmark was a photo. I stared at it and my world fell to pieces.

There, smiling happily while standing in front of our house were my parents – and a much younger me.

I immediately remembered: This picture had been taken by Jenna on my first day of summer vacation when I was fifteen – the very morning before my parents had left for their trip and died. I stared at the little piece of paper in my hand and started shaking. It was impossible. Stefan couldn't be in possession of this picture. He simply couldn't. It had been taken with my parent's old camera – the one they had taken with them when they left for their hiking trip. It hadn't been a digital one, but one with film rolls. How could this picture even exist, if their car had crashed into a river – with everything in it?

There was only on possible explanation: He must have been there when they had died. I felt a cold shiver go down my spine. Stefan hadn't met me at the cemetery by chance. He had known about me and my parents all along, and he had been lying to me from the start. My chest painfully constricted, and for a moment, I couldn't breathe.

My hand flew to my throat, involuntarily coming in touch with my necklace – the magic necklace he had given me and that I was wearing because I had trusted him. A complete and utter stranger that had been lying to me. A vampire who had known my parents and must have been in contact with them shortly before they died. Not sure if I wanted to jump to other conclusions yet, I only felt the desperate need to get out of here.

Without thinking further, I ripped the necklace off and laid it on top of the book. Then I grabbed the photograph and made for the door, running out of the house as if I had demons on my heels. Maybe I had – demons from the past, coming back to haunt me again. Desperately fighting tears that threatened to cloud my vision, I jumped into the car and took off with screeching wheels.


	16. Rescue Me

ELENA

I didn't even know where I was going. Unconsciously, I found myself driving out of Mystic Falls. Since I had not intention of going back to Greenville either, I just took a turn to the left at the next intersection, heading south. I disregarded the right of way of an oncoming car that might or might not have been Damon's Camaro – it was hard to see in the dark. The tears in my eyes and the onset of rain further obscured my view.

The driver reacted fast, though, and managed to avoid collision. When I glanced in the rear mirror and saw a car in some distance behind me, I first thought that it was indeed Damon who had turned to follow me. But it definitively wasn't a convertible, but the same truck that had been behind me for a while now. I simply kept going, though not at high speed. Finally, the truck driver lost patience and passed me. He was soon lost in the rain and I was alone on the deserted road.

The humming of the motor was soothing. Unable to put emotional distance between me and all of Stefan's lies and secrets, distancing myself physically from him seemed like the next best thing. I knew I couldn't continue driving like this forever. Eventually, I would have to turn around and head home. But for the moment, I just wanted to get away from everybody and everything. The need to concentrate on my driving prevented my mind from pondering the myriad of questions and suspicions that would surely flood my brain otherwise.

The rain was coming down harder now, and I turned the wiper to move faster. That's when I suddenly saw the shadowy figure of a man in the middle of the road, appearing out of thin air. I jumped onto the brakes, but it was too late. There was a forceful impact when I hit the body and sent it flying across the windshield.

The wheels lost traction on the wet road, and my car, completely out of control, started spinning. Subconsciously, I tried to regain control by steering in the other direction, which only made it worse. After a 180 degree turn, my Volvo ended up facing back in the direction I had come. It still kept going, sliding towards the narrow strip of loose gravel on the road side, and finally off the bank.

Perching precariously lopsided on the slope of a drain water moat, the car finally came to a dead stop, leaning to its side. Not daring to breathe, I noted that the wheels on the driver's side were slowly caving into the soft and muddy ground. Weight and gravity were pulling on it, and finally won. Almost gently, the car toppled over, sliding down the steep slope. Gaining new momentum from the movement, it finally came to lie upside down, barely a foot above the water, with me hanging helplessly up-side-down in it, held in place by the seat belt.

There was nothing but the sound of the rain coming down on the underside of the car and my own, ragged breath. In shock and slightly dazed, I tried to get my bearings, looking through the front window. The car was facing back the way I had come. Just within the range of my headlights high above my head, I saw a truck parked on a side lane leading into a forest – and the form of a human body lying on the middle of the road. One leg was stuck out at a weird angle, and the head was twisted unnaturally. I had never seen a dead person before, but I knew immediately that I was looking at one now. There was no doubt. I had felt the impact, the dull thump as the body was hurled across the car and hit the road, where he was now lying in a heap of bruised flesh. So there was no, absolutely no reasonable explanation for what my eyes were witnessing now.

The heap was moving. Impossible as it was, the man got up. I thought I even heard his twisted leg and neck snapping back into place, like plastic joints of a doll. It was a setting straight out of a horror movie: The dark, deserted road, the rain, and the dark-clad zombie who was now back on his feet, his face hidden in his hoodie jacket, slowly coming towards me.

Not for a second did I believe that he was coming to my rescue. I simply knew he wasn't. I fought to get out of the car, desperate to get away, but I was stuck, hanging helplessly in the wreck of the car, watching death come closer with each steady step.

That's when I started screaming. It got dark, there was pain, and suddenly a pair of blinding lights. Then, in the middle of the screams still tearing from my throat, I heard somebody call my name. "Elena! – Elena!"

The voice, getting more forceful as it tried to get through to me, sounded familiar. "Damon?" I didn't dare trust my eyes. But there he was, reaching through the open door of the car, cupping my cheek, soothing. "Sh-sh... calm down, it's okay! He's gone." Had he opened the door? I couldn't remember.

"Damon!" I sobbed, torn between immense relief, shock and fear, unable to think or speak coherently. My face was wet with tears. Or was it rain? I even felt the wetness burning its way down my throat. Damon leaned closer and stuck his head into the car. He was all matter-of-fact as he briefly analyzed and summed up the situation. "You're stuck."

"The seatbelt..." I croaked, trying in vain to get out of it. It wouldn't release. Panic rose again. I was trapped.

"It's alright", he said calmly. "I'll get you out!" He gabbed the seatbelt and tried to catch my gaze. His expression was serious, but reassuring. "Okay, listen: I want you to push your hands against the roof. Yes, just like that. Now, on the count of three..." He pulled down hard. With a tearing noise, the seatbelt ripped apart and I came tumbling down. Before I could hit the floor, or rather the roof of the car, I was safely caught in Damon's arms.

"There... I've got you. " He swept me up and pulled me from the wreckage as if I weighed nothing, and I could have cried with relief. Reduced to a bundle of overexcited nerves firing contradicting signals, I was clinging to him, shaking badly. All I could think was that I was safe again and, oddly, how good it felt to be in his arms. Damon seemed a little shaken, too. "Are you hurt?" he asked, his voice sounding strained, almost anxious. "Did you break anything?"

"No...I don't know. My neck..." My hand flew up, trying to figure out by touch what was wrong. I winced when my fingers met bruised skin. It felt sore and wet.

"Here... let me see..." Damon let my feet slide to the ground for extra support, still bearing most of my weight with the one arm that was still holding me. Using his free hand to brush my hair aside and turn my head sideways, he bared the sensitive and burning part of my throat and inhaled sharply. "You're bleeding!" He sounded shocked, appalled, even scared. Had I cut myself? I hadn't even noticed.

"It burns!" I merely complained, not at all aware of the perilous situation – heavily bleeding in the arms of a vampire who apparently wasn't unaffected by the sight. But now that I knew I was hurt, the tingling sensation that I had felt in the aftermath of shock intensified, starting to interfere with my clear thinking. Damon had obviously noted that, too. He tried to make eye contact – taking my chin between his fingers and turning my head to face him again.

"Elena, look at me!" he ordered, and when I failed to comply immediately, more urgently again: "Look at me!"

I did. His face was very near. Very beautiful. I felt like I was drowning in the depths of his ocean eyes. Something flashed in it, like rays of sunlight on the surface of the sea. I was briefly distracted by a fleeting movement of something dark and black flying through my peripheral field of vision. Unable to turn my head because of his hold I wasn't able to follow it. Instead, my searching gaze attached to his lips. They were moving, forming words that didn't carry any meaning. I tried to concentrate, which was difficult, given that my awareness was slightly blurred.

"Focus, Elena, please!" Damon urged, trying to call my attention to what he was saying, but I only caught half-sentences that carried the sense of a warning and growing despair. Something about my blood and that he needed to take some of it, urgently. "I will not let this kill you, I promise!" he vowed, his gaze with fierce determination. "Tell me that you understand!"

I finally managed to direct my attention back to his eyes, not comprehending anything he said. I felt funny. Almost like I was drifting under water – close enough to the surface to make out silhouettes, yet unable to distinguish sounds or structures. The burning had turned into an intense feeling of pain, getting stronger by the second. I wondered why the water didn't have any cooling effect, and couldn't concentrate on anything apart from that.

"This might hurt a little now..." Damon's tone was getting more intent as he tried to – what? Apologize? Details were lost on me. Still, a perception of danger put me back on alert when Damon suddenly bent my head back and made a determined move for my throat. Before my startled cry had left my mouth, his lips closed on the raw flesh of my throat and the throbbing artery.

A new wave of pain hit me as he started sucking forcefully, bringing tears to my eyes. I made a feeble, futile attempt to fight him off, which he probably never even noticed. My arms and legs turned wobbly. I would have fallen if it wasn't for his iron grip. The antagonizing pain dulled to a strange pulling sensation that quickly spread over my entire body, like all my blood had stopped it's normal path of circulation and reversed it's flow. As the burning pain subsided, my weakness increased, and I was overtaken by an icy cold.

My breathing turned shallow for lack of oxygen, and I was slowly fading into blackness. The realization that I was dying was the last thought that registered before my senses left me completely.

I was walking through a long and dark tunnel. It felt as if I had left my physical body behind, for there was neither pain nor any other sensation. Not even a sense of time. I felt strangely at ease – secure and comforted. From far away, I heard a voice rip through the cozy blanket of nothingness that cushioned my awareness. It was becoming louder and more irritating. I tried to ignore it, turn away from it, but it kept following me, pushing me closer to the edge of consciousness that only promised pain and discomfort. I could almost feel the incredible cold again that was numbing my body.

"Damn!" somebody cursed nearby. "Stay with me, Elena!" Something warm was shoved into my mouth and instantly, there was feeling again. The feel of something hard and fleshy. The taste of salt and metal. A thickly fluid running down my throat and forcing me to swallow. My eyes flew up, and I found myself back in my body.

I was lying in Damon's lap with my head in the crook of his encircling arm, his other wrist firmly pressed to my mouth. "There you go!" he murmured, his voice close to my ears, cooing softly and soothingly. His face was in my hair, his lips close to my forehead, caressing. The almost tender gesture stood in odd contrast to the unyielding pressure he still applied to my lips. "Just keep drinking..."

I didn't have a choice – the liquid that I now recognized to be blood kept pulsing from his wrist like a fountain, and I had no choice but to swallow, again and again. Something flooded my system – energy, adrenalin, rage – and my survival instincts kicked in. I started to fight his hold, trying to shake him off, and got totally panicky when I lacked the strength to be effective. Instead of kicking and thrashing, my limbs only responded with a weak twitch to my brain's command. Yet Damon suddenly let go of me. Immediately, I tried to get away from him. I wasn't getting very far, though. As I now realized, we were in his car – with Damon on the driver's side and me on the front passenger's seat.

"What are you doing?" I cried in horror, frantically pulling at the door handle. "Let me out!" Of course, the door didn't open. Most likely, he had locked it. He leaned over, trying to touch my shoulder, which made me even more panicky. "Elena, relax! It's okay. I'm not gonna hurt you." His voice was intended to calm me, but it didn't. Nor did his words.

"Yes, you are! You did! You bit me!" All of a sudden, my memory came flooding back. Damon, leaning over me with dark, burning eyes, his mouth on my throat, a searing pain as he forcefully and greedily sucked and gulped down my blood.

"I didn't!" His exasperated protest didn't register with my brain as it attempted to reconstruct what had happened. He must have completely lost it – probably at the sight of my bleeding wound. He simply hadn't been able to resist. Though he might not have meant to kill me, he almost had, and was now trying save my life by the only means he could think of. If possible, I felt my body turn even colder with shock. "You've fed me your blood. You're turning me into a vampire!"

"Actually, that's what I was trying to prevent. Elena, will you please try to calm down and listen to me..."

"Let go of me!" My voice become louder and my attempts to get out of the car got more desperate.

"You're in no condition to go anywhere," Damon pointed out rationally. "I bet you can't even stand..." He sighed, released the locks and the door suddenly opened. I almost fell head first out of the car.

"Oops", Damon said, already outside at the passenger's side and reaching for me when I tried to catch my balance. "I told you so!" he said reproachfully, yet still grasped my elbows and pulled me into a semi-standing position, propping me with my back against the car. He took a step back when he saw that I managed to hold myself upright, getting out of my personal space. This at least helped me to calm down a bit. I took a look at my surroundings, but there wasn't much to see. Only the car, pulled over on a deserted highway that didn't bear any resemblance to the street that I had been on earlier this evening. Clearly, I had missed some vital part of what had happened.

"Where are we?" I asked, never noticing that he evaded giving an answer.

"You were in an accident – your car overturned, remember?"

I did. Quite clearly. "There was a man on the road," I muttered, shuddering at the ghostly image of a cloaked figure appearing out of thin air. "I hit a man. He seemed dead. But then he got up and came towards me – I don't remember clearly... Who was he?"

"That's something I'd like to know, too. One thing's sure, though – he was no man. He was a vampire. He bit you. And from the look of that wound, he didn't mean to play." Damon's gloomy words brought back the dull, throbbing pain that had momentarily been blotted out by other, more prevailing concerns.

"My neck..." I gingerly touched the still hurting wound and found my fingers to be smudged red. "It's still bleeding!"

"No, it's not," Damon said soberly. "That's not your blood." Confused, I looked at my blood-smeared fingers. "Then whose is it?"

"Mine." He wasn't making any sense. Nothing was making any sense. "God, I feel sick! Everything's dizzy..." I leaned over, putting my hands on my knees and bending my head. "I'm so cold..."

"You're in shock." Damon took his jacket off and put it over me. "Now, will you please stop fussing with me and get back into the car?"

"No, I'm not driving anywhere with you!"

"Well, you already did – without your magical necklace, I might add. I could easily make you agreeable and save myself some trouble! Now, let me drive you home, okay? I promise I'll explain everything once we're there."

"You're going to drive me home?" Not that I really believed it, but hope sure dies last.

"Yes." It sounded truthful enough. Considering my lack of options, I was prepared to consider his offer. But after what he had done to me, I had every reason to be suspicious. "Am I going to be safe with you?" What a stupid question. Of course I wasn't. He himself had told me so. Yet I was in desperate need of some reassurance.

"Yes," he obliged me again, though slightly exasperated. "You are seriously stretching my patience! You are hurt, unable to stand or walk, let alone think straight, and here I am, discussing I-don't-know-what with you, when I could just as well pick you up and put you in the car. Good point! Why not do that?"

"No! And you have to promise me not to compel me, either."

"Fine!"

"Can I trust you?"

He gave me a queer look. "If you don't, then what's the sense of asking that question, huh? Now, get in the car!" Trust Damon to apply slicing logic when emotional reassurance was called for. Yet with my heart rate returning to normal and the effect of stress hormones fading, others kicked in, calming, relaxing. I felt a wave of fatigue wash over me, sweeping away my resistance and any desire to argue further.

"I just don't know what's happening to me. I'm so tired..."

"You lost a fair amount of blood," Damon murmured, maneuvering me back into the car. "Now just relax," he gentled, and his hand briefly cupped my cheek as he strapped the seat belt on me. "You'll be fine. I'll make sure of that!" A promise, after all. Some comfort. Having no strength left, I leaned back and closed my eyes. Damon started the car, and we were on the road again; the low, steady humming of the engine strangely comforting. Despite being incredibly cold, I felt myself drifting off to sleep.

*'*'*'*'*

I woke feeling dizzy and disoriented in unfamiliar surroundings. Alerted, I opened my eyes fully and tried to get my bearings. The room was semi-dark, due to the fact that the only light was coming from a dying fire in a fireplace.

As my eyes grew accustomed to the shadowy light, I realized that I was in a king-size bed that appeared to be from a different century, in a generously sized bedroom. My searching gaze found Damon slumped on a nearby chair, apparently dozing.

Alarmed and suspicious, I tried to sit up and immediately felt a jolt of pain moving through my upper body. I winced and stopped moving, instinctively clutching my hands to the source of the pain. Damon's eyes flew open when he heard my stifled gasp.

"Where are we?" I demanded to know, a slight feeling of panic seeping in. Nothing here looked even remotely familiar. "You said you were going to take me home..."

"I did. This is 'home' – my home, to be exact." Damon smiled sheepishly. "I cheated."

"What?" I tried to make sense of his words as my flying gaze searched the room. "This is not the boarding house..."

"No, it isn't. We're in South Carolina."

"No!" I insisted, pressing a hand to my forehead as if looking for a rewind button. "We can't be in South Carolina!" It was impossible. We hadn't been driving that long. Or had we? I tried to remember the last couple of hours, but the images that came were confusing and too disturbing. Briefly closing my eyes, I tried to calm down. "You can't do this," I told him, hoping to sound stern. "This is kidnapping!"

"Ah!" Damon scoffed and twitched his mouth. "Isn't that a little melodramatic?"

"You've got to take me home!" Another attempt to move made me wince. Damon leaned forward, his expression now one of concern.

"What is it? Are you hurting?"

"I don't know. I can't seem to move. Something's on my chest..."

"You probably bruised a rib. I don't think you broke anything. I checked."

He checked? What exactly was that supposed to mean? Underneath the heavy blankets, I felt for my jeans, and found that I was at least half naked, wearing only my shirt and my underwear. "Did you undress me?" I asked, shocked at the liberties he had obviously taken.

"I merely took off your shoes and the wet stuff to make you comfortable. I don't think that falls under that label."

I tried not to get panicky again on contemplating that I had been abducted, carried into a hitherto unknown hiding place of a vampire while in state of unconsciousness, undressed and subjected to a physical. It was simply something decent people didn't do.

"Seriously, Elena," Damon tried to reason with me. "You have just been in a traumatic car accident. Your car overturned, you were attacked by a vampire and suffered serious blood loss, among other things. And certainly you were in no condition to be alone."

"You could have taken me to a hospital!"

"With those bite marks on you neck? I think not!"

"Nobody knows where I am!"

Damon shrugged. "You can call Alys. But I can tell you, she won't like it."

"All the more a reason not be here with you. Whose house is this, anyway?" I was trying desperately to think of something else but the throbbing pain and the utter helplessness I felt at being totally at his mercy.

"Mine," Damon said simply.

"You have your own house?"

"I'm 177. Too old to live under parental supervision, don't you think?"

"And I guess an apartment wouldn't have satisfied your needs?"

Damon's eyes took on a wolfish glint. "In an apartment, it would be much harder to satisfy my needs, if you get my meaning..."

"I have a fair idea," I murmured faintly, averting my gaze to find something more calming to focus on. Willing myself to relax, I looked around. We were in a decent sized room in which the bed was the centerpiece of furniture. There were two doors, but I couldn't see where they were leading to. The interior looked ageless in design and definitively male. There were two comfy chairs, a small coffee table and a bookshelf. "You have a fireplace in your bedroom..." I remarked, not sure what to think of that. Basically, I was just talking because I was feeling nervous, helpless and wound up.

"It's an old house." Damon shrugged, got up and came to sit on the edge of the bed.

"What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously when he reached for the comforter.

"I want to take a look at your ribs."

"You wish!" I said, grabbing the sheets tighter.

"Don't be silly!" Damon chided. "I just want to make sure that it's not broken. If I see anything I haven't seen before in the process, I'll throw a dollar at it!"

"You wouldn't know what to look for, anyway."

"Says who? Actually, I almost made it to a degree."

I gave him an astonished look. "A medical degree?" Damon rolled his eyes in exasperation. "No, one in philosophy – that's why I think I know what I'm doing here... Of course, a medical degree – among others." The corners of his mouth lifted slightly. "Personnel have access to hospital blood banks, and I had time to spare in the 80s. How do you think I managed to handle those transfusions, otherwise?"

Transfusions? I frowned and followed his gaze. Only now did I notice the makeshift IV stand behind the bed, improvised from an old-fashioned hat-stand. An empty blood bag and a long tube were dangling from a hook. I felt myself pale. "Tell me you didn't hook me up to that..."

The obvious shock in my voice didn't faze him. "You lost about half of your blood, which left you more dead than alive. It's just so lucky that I happened to have a few blood bags in the fridge."

"You didn't even know my blood type..."

Damon merely looked at me from lowered eye lashes. "B positive. One of my favorite tastes, by the way. Now, move up that shirt." He was adamant, the stern look of his eyes telling me that he wouldn't be argued with. I sighed and gave in. At least, I still had my bra on, and no matter what he found, I wouldn't be taking that off.

Damon never suggested it. In an apparently professional manner he examined my ribs, probing the part that was especially tender. "Does that hurt?"

"Yess!" I hissed, when even the gentle pressure of his probing fingers sent another wave of pain through my body. And somehow, also caused my stomach to flip in a kind of roller coaster, upside-down, butterfly feeling.

"I don't think it's broken, though," Damon concluded, all matter-of-fact. "Just badly bruised. Even if it was, there's nothing that can be done about it except waiting for it to heal. Still, it's gonna be painful for a while. It's starting to color already." He helped me to get the shirt back down and put the blanket over me. "I'll get you some pain medication. Now, stay comfortable while I go down and do that. I'll fix you something to eat and drink, too."

"I'm not hungry." Which was funny, considering my stomach had been grumbling already at Stefan's place. I guess recent events had taken their toll my appetite.

"Eat something anyway," he advised, still in doctor mode. "Your body will need lots of liquids and energy to replenish the blood loss."

I frowned, trying to recall the events after the crash. "I can't remember him drinking from me – he was gone all of a sudden, it all went very fast. He can't have taken all that much..."

"He didn't," Damon said, returning my gaze. "I did."

On hearing him say this, my mind dutifully delivered shreds of memories of what had happened shortly before I had passed out. "So that wasn't a bad dream, either..." I said, unable to reconcile the idea of him taking advantage of me in a situation like that with the tender way he was taking care of me now. "Why?" I asked, failing to come up with the degree of outrage that seemed called for. "Couldn't you resist the opportunity?"

Damon raised his eyebrows at this. "Pulling you badly bruised and only semi-conscious out of a car wreck is not exactly my idea of an opportunity! As I said, I was trying to undo the damage that was already done – or at to least prevent it from getting worse. He used his fangs. They are... well, you could say they're venomous to humans. I merely tried to cleanse your blood."

"Cleanse it?" I echoed, mystified.

He sighed. "You didn't get a word of what I explained to you before, did you?" I shook my head, and Damon dutifully obliged and repeated what I had obviously missed. "The guy who attacked you... he bit you and injected his venom. It's what carries the virus that turns people into a vampires. If I had left it to spread through your body, your human life would have been over. I tried to suck out the tainted blood – or at least make sure you're not going to die."

I looked at him in shock. "You mean I might turn into a vampire? Is that what he tried to do to me?"

"No. He tried to kill you – in a very ugly way, I might add. But you're not in danger anymore. You are not hurting enough."

"You've no idea!"

"Believe me, I do. Since you're still arguing with me like that, it can't be that bad. You wouldn't be talking coherently, otherwise."

"But why, Damon? Why would he do that? I don't even know who he was. I saw the truck... It had been following me out of Mystic Falls. Then he passed me some time after that intersection. And after I had hit him, I saw his truck – parked it in a side lane, hidden from view. Why was he standing in the middle of the road like that? I can still hear that awful noise when I hit him... " Remembering what had happened a couple of hours before, I started to tremble and felt my eyes swell with tears again.

"Hush, it's alright," Damon soothed, patting my hand. "There's nothing you could have done – he was a vampire, and he wanted you to hit him. It was a trap. We'll find out about the why. But for now, stop thinking about it. You're safe. Okay?" I nodded and wiped my tears.

"Now, let me get the food and the pain killers. I'll be right back. Just don't go anywhere!"

"Very funny!"

He grinned and descended the stairs. Figuring that I had some privacy for a minute, I tried to get up and make it to the bathroom, which I figured the other bedroom door was leading to. It was no simple task, for my chest was hurting like hell and my legs felt like jell-o. Finally, I managed to make it forth and back and climbed back under the covers, hoping they would warm me up again. Aside from feeling exhausted just from the short trip to the loo, I was still feeling incredibly cold.

Within no time, Damon was back, carrying a tray with juice, a can of water and a stack of chocolate muffins. "Here, I hope you like it. It's not exactly a healthy breakfast, but I figured you could use the sugar. But take the pills, first."

There were three different ones on the tray. "What are they all for?" I asked a little suspiciously.  
"My, you're a distrustful little thing, aren't you?" Damon asked back, shaking his head in disbelief. "Don't worry, I'm not trying to drug you. They're just painkillers, some vitamins and an iron supplement."

Oh. "Thanks. I'm surprised you have anything in your fridge apart from blood bags."

"I have a housekeeper who keeps me stocked. I do have guests, every once in a while." Human guests, obviously, if they had muffins for breakfast. Unsuspecting women he fed on, like Caroline. I wondered if he gave them painkillers, vitamins and iron supplements with their muffins, too. Probably so, since he obviously didn't need any of it himself. I decided not to delve into the subject and obediently swallowed the pills before starting on the pastry.

The analgesic must have been a little stronger that ordinary aspirin, because the pain I felt in my entire body started to dull only shortly after I had finished the first muffin. "You said he tried to kill me by biting me..." I resumed conversation, gingerly picking at the second muffin. Hopefully, Damon wouldn't expect me to finish it. "Yet you bite humans all the time – without killing them or turning them into vampires..."

"That's because I don't inject them with venom, which is what he did. Once it passes into your system, it destroys the blood cells. It simply inflates them until they burst into small fragments. If that happens with all the blood still in your veins, they burst from the pressure, at least the smaller blood vessels. You suffer major internal bleeding. And I guess he did it to assure you wouldn't live long enough to talk about it."

"So if you hadn't been there..."

"Let's say, they wouldn't have been sure whether you died form the crash or from some strange infection when they found you."

"But why did you feed me your blood, if not to make me a vampire?"

"Our blood, if applied to wounds from the outside or if ingested, stops any kind of bleeding. It clots a lot faster than human blood – that's why our wounds heal so quickly. It also gives humans a kick of energy, more efficiently than grape sugar, adrenalin or anything. I was afraid you'd completely pass out on me – I couldn't feel your pulse anymore. I was afraid I had taken too much of your blood."

"Then why did you take so much?"

"I needed to ensure that I got all the venom out of your system. Or, in case that I hadn't, to make sure that you had only little blood left when going into transition. Normally, when creating a vampire, you'd do it the other way round: Deplete the person of most of her blood, inject the venom, then feed her vampire blood to complete the change and help her live through it. I told you, it's complicated. And it more often than not goes wrong."

I abandoned the muffin and had another glass of water, understanding now why he wanted me to drink so much. The pills were effectively working their miracle. I was starting to feel drowsy again. "So you were making sure that – in case I wouldn't recover – I'd be changed?" I asked, realizing that yawning was not effectively conveying my outrage. "How can you think that I'd sooner live as a vampire than die?"

"There was no time to ask. And yes – I think living is much more preferable to dying; I quite enjoy it myself, actually. In case you objected, there was always the option of driving a stake through your heart later."

"I wonder why you even bothered, turning me from prey to hunter," I mumbled. "I thought it's my blood you're after..."

He gave me this look again, his eyes mesmerizing. "Well, surely not alone your blood, which, as I know now, is delicious! Just as I had imagined... rich, sweet and fragrant. It's going to make me lust for it even more from now on..."

"You're trying to scare me again."

Damon wasn't fazed by my reproachful voice and stern gaze. "You don't seem scared."

"Didn't say I was. I said you are trying to make me!"

"Well, maybe I am, but only half-heartedly. That's because I'm a profoundly egoistic person. If I really tried to scare you, you'd be terrified, and it'd be only for your own good."

I looked at him and blinked. My eyelids were getting really heavy. "Alys tried to warn me away from you," I confided. Damon lowered his voice, too. "Then why didn't you listen?" he asked softly.

I sighed. "Because there are these moments... like now... when I don't think anymore about what you want from me. When it doesn't even seem to matter. Moments, when I feel safe with you..."

"Now, that..." His voice trailed off. "Blood loss does have an effect on the brain. It'll pass." I wasn't sure I wanted it to pass. It was nice feeling safe, taken care of and protected, especially if a very handsome and sexy vampire was evoking these feelings.

"There..." Damon pulled the blanket higher. "You need to rest. You're starting to talk gibberish again."

Maybe I was. I was definitely feeling light-headed, and now that it was slightly warmer with all those blankets, I was truly getting tired. Obediently, I sank back into the cushions. They smelled nice. Like him. I breathed in the scent and sighed. My eyes closed almost on their own accord.

"Sleep well, Elena," I heard him murmur, and that was about the last thing that registered with me.


	17. Because the Night

ELENA

I woke up to the sound of someone hustling in the kitchen and the scent of coffee drifting up from downstairs. Judging by the daylight that was coming in through the blinds, it had to be already late in the day. Carefully, since my ribs were still making themselves felt, I climbed out of bed. A bit more steady this time, I headed for the bathroom. Last night seemed like a strange, far away dream. I briefly wondered if Damon had anything to do with it – if he had messed with my mind to blur the ugly details. But then, it could be the pills, too.

Wondering if I looked as bad as I felt, I glanced into the mirror above the sink. A definite yes to that. I looked like a drug addict. My hair was all messed up, my skin flaccid and my cheeks hollow. There were dark rings under my eyes and dried blood on my neck – Damon's, probably, put there to close the wound. I turned on the water and wiped it off with a washcloth, gingerly probing the tender skin. It didn't hurt much anymore – in fact, it looked surprisingly good, considering that two vampires had chewed on it. There were still a few angry, red lines and dent marks that indicated how gruesome the fresh wound must have looked like. But those were beginning to fade already – except for two, deep puncture marks in the middle of it.

"He got you good, didn't he?" I jumped at the sound of Damon's voice. I hadn't heard him coming up the stairs, nor seen him in the mirror. Following that particular line of thought, I checked again, to find out if another myth was actually a fact. But no: There he was – dressed and shaved and looking all the more smashing contrasted with my own reflection.

"Damon! You startled me! You're not supposed to be sneaking up like this, especially not it the bathroom!"

"I wasn't sneaking. You left the door wide open. I was merely going to check if you were dead, alive or transitioning. You look okay, though."

"Hardly," I retorted dryly. "I look as if I've risen from the dead."

"Well, that's close to what happened. Take a shower, it'll probably make you feel better. There are clean towels underneath the sink, and extra toothbrushes in the drawer."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Always prepared for everything, are you?"

He smirked. "Every once in a while I order dinner to my house – and sometimes, it's still there in the morning." I couldn't think of anything to say to that.

"Your jeans are in the bedroom, washed and dried. Figuring that you might want to get out of that blouse, I also put out one of my shirts for you – just in case. Coffee is waiting downstairs, whenever you're ready."

Wow. Who would have guessed that Damon had housekeeper genes besides being a superhero rescuing damsels in distress? Could have fooled me.

About twenty minutes later, somewhat restored and resembling a living being again, I made it down the stairs. Damon was reading the paper, casually leaning against the kitchen counter, a mug in his hand. It was sort of an open kitchen within a living area that combined eating and dining room. The furnishing was tasteful, modern in style. The shaded windows filtered the incoming sunlight, making it soft and giving the room a friendly atmosphere. Not really like what I'd expected from a vampire's den.

"Hi," I said, feeling a little awkward of a sudden. "I guess I'm ready for the coffee..."

"Have some, then." Damon poured a cup and handed it to me. "Cute outfit," he said, gesturing at his shirt that – of course – was black and way too big for me. I had rolled up the sleeves and tied the fronts to a knot at my waist. To make the casually sexy look seem more like it was intended, it did show a bit of my midriff. "I admit: My shirt looks way more exciting on you. But then, you'd probably look exciting even without it..."

Unsure whether I should frown at this transparent attempt at flirting or thank him for the somewhat shady compliment, I merely took a sip from my coffee and ignored it.

"How are you feeling?" Damon asked, in a more serious tone. I shrugged. "Like I'm recovering from a severe flu."

"It'll take a while until you're fully back to normal."

"Is that what the women you feed from feel like – afterwards?"

He raised his eyebrow. "Given that I normally don't drain them half dry, I should think not. I probably won't need to feed for a couple of days!"

"Well, I'm glad I was good for something, then." I pointed to the marks on my throat. "This is a pretty ugly bite-mark. I never noticed wounds like this on Caroline..."

He shook his head, giving me chiding glance. "That's because I haven't tried to kill her, lately! Vampires usually don't tear people's throats out – unless they are either sadistic or seriously pissed. Feeding doesn't have to be a mess. You need to puncture the veins, not severe them. The vamp who got you obviously had other intentions. Be careful with those marks for a while – you might want to put something on it, so as to prevent them from being scratched open accidentally."

"Or from being seen by the neighbors..."

"That, too. Although we won't run into that problem here. There are no neighbors."

Curious, I pushed the shades aside and gazed through the window. Outside everything was lush green, with trees and blooming bushes everywhere. It somehow looked familiar, but I couldn't put my finger on it. "Where exactly are we?"

Damon seemed a bit reluctant to answer and kept looking at me as if he was trying to anticipate my reaction. He was saved by a familiar ringing tone from somewhere nearby.

"That's my phone..." I looked to where the sound was coming from and saw it next to Damon on the kitchen counter. He reached for it, checking the display. "It's your boyfriend."

"Stefan?" I stupidly asked.

"Are there others besides him?"

I folded my arms in front of me and shook my head. "I don't want to talk to him." Damon gave me a surprised look. When it continued ringing, he answered it himself. "Hello there – Elena's phone. How can I help you?" His voice was mockingly sweet. He listened for a moment, then answered to Stefan's inevitable questions: "No, I'm afraid she's not available right now... Yes, she's had a bit of a rough night but is now in perfect shape again. – Sorry, my bad. We had other things on our minds..." Just to piss Stefan off, Damon was being intentionally ambiguous in his responses. Stefan obviously didn't take it favorably, because whatever he said in reply made Damon smile, widely and smugly. "M-hm. Will do. Have a good day! Bye!" He snapped the phone shut and shot me a questioning glance. "I take it the love birds are singing out of tune?"

"Don't mock me," I said flatly.

"I'm not. Seriously. Is everything okay?"

"Seriously, I don't want to talk about it. Why did you answer it, anyway?"

"Because this phone must have been ringing all night, ever since I took it out of your jeans and put it here. Stefan must have been out of his mind with worry, especially if you left after a fight."

"Like you care!"

"I don't, really. But if he starts getting desperate, he is likely to alert your aunt, and that will ruin the alibi story I made up for you."

"You called Jenna? What did you tell her?"

"That your car broke down somewhere on the way to Mystic Falls. That I picked you up and took you to my place – I didn't mention exactly which one. She probably thinks you're staying with me and Alys in Greenville."

"Which brings me back to my previous question: Where exactly is this other place of yours?"

"In Fells Church," he said, carefully gauging my reaction. It was mostly surprise, followed by rapid thinking. "South Carolina... That's where we spent a night on our trip... the plantation we visited on our way back from Columbia..." I stared at him and my jaw dropped. "This is it? The hotel – it's yours?"

He nodded. I couldn't say anything; my mind was too busy sorting out the various implications that came with the information. Damon took the mug from my hand and put it down. Placing his hand lightly on my back, he lead me to the front door and opened it. I recognized the place immediately. It was the hotel. We were on the porch of one of the side buildings, facing the main house that was a little further to the right, half hidden behind the huge trees.

"These used to be the slave quarters..." Damon explained. "I had this one renovated to use as private house whenever I'm here. It's a little more intimate than being under the same roof with tourists."

"This is your home? All of it?"

"It used to belong to my family and their descendants for a long while. After the last one died – my great-great-great nephew or something – it was put up for sale, since there was no one left to inherit. I bought it and made a hotel out of it."

"So... when we stayed here, couple of weeks ago – you were here, too?" He merely nodded, still with that careful expression on his face. I was thinking back to that weird night and the things I had dreamt and felt. "So I had been right, after all..." I murmured, more to myself than to him. "There was something creepy about this place. It was owned by a vampire, who probably made a habit of feeding on his guests..." I added a note of doubt to my reproach, hoping he would instantly negate the allegation.

He didn't, which should have been confirmation enough. Yet I pushed it. I had to know. "Seriously? Is that what you've been doing here all along? Spiking the welcome drinks to make your victims complacent and taking advantage of them while they were sleeping? Oh my God! Caroline said something about a strange dream that night... The way she said it, though..."

"Made you think she actually meant sensual? Forbidden? Maybe even erotic? – She had a pleasant night, even though she doesn't remember it clearly. So don't start trying to talk a guilty conscience into me – it won't work."

"What about me and Bonnie? Have you...?"

"I haven't touched you."

"How would I know that?"

"Because I'm telling you." Strangely, I believed him. On some instinctive level, I knew he wouldn't lie to me. But that didn't mean he wasn't still keeping things from me. "Then how come you suddenly turned up in Mystic Falls? Coincidence? I don't think so! There's more to it than that!"

"You're right. There's far more to it than that. It's a very long story."

"Are you going to tell me?"

"I might – if you were to stay here with me for another day so I'd have the time..."

"Stay here?" I asked, incredulous. "With you?"

He rolled his eyes. "That's what I meant when I said 'stay here with me'! Or do you have other plans for the weekend?"

"Damon – I can't stay here! I wrecked my car, nobody knows where I am... Jenna thinks I'm in Greenville... I've got to go home!"

"Don't worry about the car. I turned it right side up again and pushed it back to the roadside. It has a few dents, bumps and scratches, but that will be dealt with. I already called a garage. They'll have it towed and fixed by Monday. We can pick it up on our way back. Nobody will notice that anything was amiss." Seeing that I still wasn't convinced, he tried a different approach. He put his hands on my shoulders and turned me to face him. When he had my full attention, he let go of me again, only pressing verbally, now. Funny that I almost missed the slight cool of his touch. But then, the humidity in the air combined with the early summer heat was really oppressing.

"You obviously had a bad fight with Stefan and fled in distress. Heading nowhere, judging by the direction you took. That tells me you wanted to get away for a while."

"How did you know? How did you even find me on that road anyway?"

"You almost bumped into me, remember? I didn't think much about it, until I arrived at Elijah's place and found Stefan all wrought up. He wouldn't talk about what had happened, just that he thought you had gone home. Since I knew you hadn't, I decided to follow you." Damon paused, looking pensive and a little smug again. " You know – I think I'm starting to develop some sort of sixth sense when it comes to you getting into mischief again."

"That's not me! I mean, I never used to get in trouble – now trouble seems to follow right on my heels. Why is that happening?"

"Well, for starters, you befriended a couple of vampires. Even date one. That's begging for trouble, Elena..."

I briefly marveled at his choice of words. I had befriended a couple of vampires. Did he include himself in that number? Were Damon and I friends? Considering that he had saved my life for the second time now and taken care of me like he had yesterday, we probably were.

"Come on Elena," he said, as if encouraging a child to approach a difficult task ahead. "What's the rush, hm? Trust me – all your problems will still be there when you get back to them. Just step away from your life for a few hours. I know that's what you're longing to do – otherwise you wouldn't have left. So – take a time out. Let's have some fun." I caught his gaze and was instantly lost. Something in those vampire eyes continuously played havoc with my mind. Not to mention the rest of my body, which tended to react rather strongly to it.

"I don't think that would be a good idea," I said weakly, already doubting whether I'd heed my own advice in this.

"Why? Are you afraid I could do something to you that you wouldn't want me to?"

Not really. I was more worried he'd do something to me that I wouldn't mind at all. At least not in one of my weak moments. But I couldn't well admit to that. Damon turned serious. "Just what are you so concerned about?" he inquired, and it sounded like he really was trying to understand. "Honestly?"

Where to start? That he was exactly the kind of guy I had always told myself to be wary about? That he was a serious threat to my life and not to be trusted? That he was about 9 to 10 times older and more experienced than I was – in every possible respect? That he definitely was not someone I should fall in love with, because he'd never return the feeling?

"Do you want it listed alphabetically or by weightiness of the argument?"

"Oh, come on! It can't possibly be so bad. Just don't think all the time – you've got to let go every once in a while. Or you'll end up like Stefan – a depressive control freak with permanent worry lines etched into his forehead. Oops. Sorry. I really didn't mean to bring him up!" His face contorted into a funny grimace of concern and mock disdain that almost made me smile. He could be really cute and charming if he chose to be.

Realizing that he was gaining ground by playing it lightly, he stuck with the strategy. "Now – I promise I won't bite – pun intended! I'll be on my best behavior. I can do the gentlemanly thing! You get a full day to try and make a better vampire out of me!"

"Well, if that's not an incentive..."

"Alright! That's the spirit! Now – what do you want us to do?"

*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*

We ended up doing exactly what he had proposed – simply hanging about and having fun. Damon showed me around in Fells Church, where there wasn't really much to see, and took me to out to a diner that was run by an old acquaintance of his. Obviously, it was the only place to go to, much like the Grill at home, and was crowded by the local youth in the evening.

We sat down at the bar and Damon was given a warm welcome by the lady who ran the place. Damon introduced us only by name – hers was Bree. She seemed pretty much aware of what he was, without seeming to mind. I wondered briefly if she was a vampire, too. Obviously, she mistook me for his girlfriend, since she made a few conspiratory, lewd remarks which suggested that she had known Damon intimately or at least had tried to get to know him that way, some time ago.

Unaware that I was under age – or maybe not caring – she put a glass of tequila in front of our noses, which Damon graciously emptied for me while she wasn't looking. We ordered a burger and some fries, and to my surprise, I was ravenous. I finished that plate and had a second, wiping it clean except for the inedible decorations. Damon reached over and finished those, too.

"You don't like pickles? What's wrong with you?"

"Didn't you say yesterday that you had your share – after almost depleting me of my blood?"

"Yeah – but that was merely assuaging hunger. This is for pleasure."

"Ha!" I said, not trying to keep the note of triumph out of my voice. "I knew that drinking blood couldn't actually taste good or even remotely pleasurable!"

"Quite on the contrary! I found it very tasty, and under different circumstances, I definitely would have taken pleasure in it. Well, there's always a next time." He was saying it lightly, but I knew that he had been eaten up with worry yesterday. I had seen a side of him that he carefully kept hidden behind this mask of irony, smugness and indifference – I had seen him protective, gentle and caring. Alys was wrong. There was still a lot of humanity in Damon.

"Thank you," I said with heartfelt sincerity. He gave me a questioning look. "For saving my life."

"My pleasure. It seems to be becoming quite a habit."

"I know. This was the second time you came to my rescue – after warding off the street gang attack."

Damon bent his head slightly and gave me a dubious look. "The street gang wasn't the first time I saved you."

"No?" Puzzled, I looked at him. I couldn't think of another moment where I had put my life at risk. I was normally a very cautious person.

"The first one was when you so recklessly came to the rescue of your friend."

"Caroline was reckless – taking off into the night with you like that! She didn't even know you, then."

"There was nothing she could've done about it. It wasn't exactly her conscious choice."

"You used those mind tricks on her make her follow you? I thought you were working with your looks and your charms..."

"There isn't always time for that. I was hungry. And I'm afraid I'm not very charming when I am. That's why it was extremely reckless of you to interrupt my feeding. Not a wise thing to do, with a vampire."

"Well, it wasn't a feeding I meant to interrupt."

"The result was pretty much the same. You have no idea how perilously close you came to meeting your destiny that night."

"To become your dinner, you mean? Is that what you think my destiny is?"

"Most definitely. But I meant something more final that just feeding on you."

"I wasn't in danger. You wouldn't have killed me." I said it with full conviction, only to have Damon cut it down. "Not on purpose. But there are always accidents... "

The way he said it made me frown. He sounded – contrite. What accident was he thinking about? Then it dawned on me. "That night in the park – that's when Vicky was attacked! By a wild animal, allegedly. But she said it was..." The word got stuck in my throat as I fully realized what Vicky had been knowing all along. "It was you! You attacked her after I had chased you away from Caroline!"

He didn't deny it, although I had been hoping for that. I stared at him in disbelief. "Are you insane? How could you hurt her like that? She ended up in hospital!"

"I said it was an accident. I'm not in the habit of leaving the girls I feed from to bleed to death. I would have taken care of the wound – at least that had been my honest intention – but unfortunately, her blood had left me a little light-headed. She was pumped with all kinds of substances, and all that on an empty stomach. My reaction was slightly off. She ran away screaming before I knew what had happened."

"She could have died!"

"Yes, she could have," he agreed, his voice firm. "That's what I've been trying to tell you all along." Damon turned his full gaze on me before he continued. He enunciated each word slowly and deliberately, willing me to understand. "I am a vampire, Elena. Though I usually do not kill humans for the mere fun of it, it's always a possibility. There are moments when control is easily lost: a hunger too strong, an all too enticing prey... I was ravenous that evening, just having arrived and without a source of supply. I had just taken a taste of Caroline when you suddenly appeared on the scene – flushed from excitement and the run, heart beating in your throat. I caught your smell even from the distance – a fragrance so much more appealing than Caroline's – sweet, intoxicating... it made my head spin. If I had lost control and allowed my lower instinct to take over to, like it happened a little later, when Vicky ran into me ... it would've been you, and not her. But I didn't lose it, then. I managed to erase Caroline's memories and then yours – and I somehow managed to get away from you."

"But I still have my memories of that night – I remember seeing you... Well, all but your face, that is... I never saw that."

"Yes, you did," Damon contradicted. "You even saw the blood on my lips and the wound on her neck. You looked straight into my eyes. And you were scared to death. That's why it was so easy to for me to hide those memories from your mind. You didn't want to remember, it was too shocking, too disturbing – threatening to shatter your world. So much easier to believe in someone kissing her than biting her, even if he was a stranger."

"The raven... there was this huge black bird, and then, all of a sudden, you were gone."

"I don't know how the raven ended up in this. I sure didn't put it there intentionally. I can only imagine that some small fragment of my messing around with your memories must have remained – like an imprint, a trace of me, a feeling telling you that something had happened."

Something dark, something menacing. Something fleeting. I remembered what Damon had told me about the mythology to it. A messenger form the underworld, a harbinger of death and disaster – that's what my subconscious had recognized him for. How fitting.

"It wasn't the only time you've been doing this to me – hiding yourself from my memories..." It wasn't a question, which was probably the reason why he didn't say anything to that. It wasn't necessary. My mind came up with more memories – not with the images he had erased, but the with the picture of the crow-bird he had involuntarily left behind. The night at the hotel, the Hitchcock scene at the cemetery, Caroline...

Yet there was no bird in my more recent memories, despite them being hazy. "Have you been messing around with my mind after the car accident, too?" I asked. "The funny thing is, I can't remember it all that clearly... "

"That was the intention. I partially erased your memories of the assault."

"Why?"

"Because I didn't want you to totally freak out every time a vampire came close to you," Damon said, before adding gloomily: "And believe me, you most likely would have, with your memories of that intact."

"Ha! Don't tell me you did that only for my own good!"

"I'm not saying that. It's also very much for my own good – after all, I might want to feed on you sometime, and can't have the memory of what he did interfere with your response to that. Have you ever heard of trauma?"

"You're manipulating me!"

"Admittedly so! But I only promised not to compel you – we never ruled out manipulation, persuasion and seduction..." He grinned, giving me one of these looks that made my heart jump.

I forcefully pulled myself together, concentrated on my food and wisely abstained from commenting on that. Being around him was getting more and more confusing. Even after all I knew about him, I couldn't help feeling attracted to him, which was unsettling for a number of reasons. Firstly, there was Stefan. How could I fall for two guys so quickly, one after another – that wasn't me. I wasn't that desperate. Or was I? I valued loyalty highly, and even feeling this hint of attraction for Damon seemed a whole lot like unfaithfulness to me. Maybe it had to do with the vampire-thing. Maybe one couldn't help being attracted to them, and probably I would feel the same about any other male vampire. Of course, this made me look incredibly superficial. I might have convinced myself that it wasn't Stefan's good looks that had attracted me, but his kind and gentle heart. But then, there was nothing kind or gentle about Damon. Or so I had thought – until last night.

Last night, I had caught a totally different glimpse of Damon. Bonnie's interpretation of the raven came to my mind again: that of a powerful guardian to those who stood high in his favors. Was I high in Damon's favors? The idea made my heart give another sudden jolt. Highly perturbing, indeed. Nothing good could come out of it.

We finished our plates and Damon ordered another beer. I signaled to Bree to make it two. If she didn't care about juvenile protection laws, there was no reason why I should. After all, I knew beyond doubt that it wasn't alcohol that posed the greatest threat to my juvenile innocence right now, and I needed something to put my wheeling mind to rest for a while.

Damon raised a questioning brow when she put it in front of me. I shrugged my shoulders. "Time-out, remember?"

He looked mildly surprised, yet didn't protest. "I should warn you", he said, "if only for the record: It's really not advisable to drink alcohol after a blood transfusion. It did substitute most of the blood you lost, but your body is still weakened. Any drink you have will pass straight into your system."

"Thanks, but I think I can handle a beer."

"If you say so..." He raised his bottle and we clinked. "Cheers!"


	18. Bring It On

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my one reader, who seems to be following this story :)

ELENA

Unfortunately, I didn't stop at one beer. It only served to slightly dull my feeling of responsibility and put me into party mood. Damon didn't make another effort to stop me, damn him, which is why I ordered a second. That, and every other drink that followed its path, efficiently annihilated every bit of common sense and self control I normally possessed.

The atmosphere got more cozy as I made friends with other guests in the bar and was invited to a game of pool. A girl and I teamed up against two of her friends, betting that with united girl power, we could beat them. Well, we couldn't. In fact, we were losing miserably, but had a lot of fun going down. Damon observed us from the bar where he chatted with Bree. From time to time, I could feel his gaze on me, which, for inexplicable reasons, sent shivers down my spine.

"Are you always this bad, or is this pitiful performance owed to your current level of intoxication?" his voice suddenly appeared close to my ear. Since I hadn't heard him approach, it made me jump.

"Nope. I suck at this game," I admitted, beaming a smile. "But I still love it!" I tried to focus on my next shot, aiming for the red and white striped ball that was a sure hit. Or so I thought. I managed to pocket the eight instead. Too bad – game over.

"Well, in that case – maybe you should invest a little effort and learn how to play it more successfully... especially if you're wagering money on the outcome. My money, if I might point that out." Damon gave our opponents a pointed stare, and they quickly caught the hint and retreated, without insisting on collecting their wager.

"You know, you don't have to be so rude..." I admonished. "They were really nice.."

"They were shamelessly taking advantage of two seriously inebriated girls, one of who doesn't know how to tell the front of the cue from its back."

"Hey, I'm not that bad!"

"Yes, you are. But I'd be more than willing to teach you..."

"You're probably an expert at pool, huh? I should have guessed! Is there anything you don't excel at?" Admittedly, I had been more than a little impressed with his medical 'almost' degree.

Damon shrugged. "There are a couple of areas that never sparked my interest. Surfing. Singing in a choir. Stepdancing. All that far-eastern stuff like yoga, origami and feng-shui."

"Riverdance is actually pretty cool."

"Yeah, well maybe next century." He tossed me the cue-stick. "So, do you want me to teach you how to handle that wood or not?"

I rolled my eyes at him. "I've just been waiting for you to make a pun like that..."

"Not my fault. It's an innuendo in itself. The origin of pool is actually French: Billard is the name of the game, and the cue-stick is called a 'queue'. Which is French for tail or penis."

"So you want to impress me with your French, now, too?"

"There a quite a few things I'd love to impress you with, Miss Gilbert!" Damon said seductively.

"Well, maybe next century," I retorted. "For now, I'd just love to hit some balls..."

He arched an eyebrow. "I'm sure you would. Now who's making improper and painful innuendos?" He placed the object balls in the rack and removed it. "Care to take the break shot?"

"Sure." I leaned forward and concentrated on the cue ball, striking it with force. With a satisfying, smacking sound it sent the object balls scattering across the table. Unfortunately, not a single one found its way into the pocket - except for the cue ball. Too bad. It might have worked better if my hands were less shaky and my head less fuzzy. Or maybe not.

"This is going to be a lot of work..." Damon sighed dramatically. "Now listen and learn. First of all, power is not what you should be concentrating on. Driving the cue ball into the rack will only result in it ricocheting off anything in its path, causing more damage than need be. Only utilize the amount of power you can control." I briefly wondered why this advice sounded strange coming out of his mouth.

He showed me where and what angle to position my feet. "You need to have your body in a stable position. Bring your legs together and bend your knees. It doesn't matter if you keep your legs straight, bent, or just the back leg straight for other shots, but for breaking, you want to keep your center of gravity lower for better stability. Now bend forward at the hips and line up your body with the intended break angle."

He stepped beside me and gave me a slight push, which resulted in me losing my balance. "If I can unbalance you as easily as that, your stance is not stable enough. Let me show you.."

He reset the rack for the breaking shot and demonstrated how to execute it, while explaining each step in detail and calling my attention to the various points he had just made.

I found that I couldn't really concentrate, though. I was too distracted by watching the play of his muscles underneath his all too tight, black shirt. The weren't over-pronounced like those of body-builders, which I didn't find attractive at all. Just strong and well-toned, like every fiber on his body, vibrating with power.

No wonder he preferred wearing shirts that were clinging to him like a second skin. Not only the shirts. When he bent over the table to take the shot, I was granted an excellent view of his rear and couldn't help but notice that his pants were just as tight, hugging him in all the right places. As I had never been a visual person, I was a bit taken by surprise by my body's delighted response to the sight.

Damon straightened up and arched an eyebrow at me. "I hope you like what you see, Miss Gilbert... Though I have a feeling you weren't really looking at the shot I just demonstrated..." I blushed, embarrassed that he had caught me ogling him shamelessly.

"No, I wasn't... I mean, of course, I was – watching the shot, I mean." Geez, I was babbling. Must be the tequilas. Hastily, I downed another one, just to divert my attention.

Damon gave me a lewd smirk and confidentially leaned closer. "You know... if you wanna see me naked, all you have to do is ask..." More heat shot to my cheeks and I smacked his arm before shoving him out of my personal space. He grinned and handed me the cue once more. "My turn," he said, quite in contradiction with his action, which had me confused for a moment.

"Watching," he specified, with another wicked grin, making it clear that he didn't really mean my performance. "Unless you want to chicken out?"

I briefly considered doing just that. But no, I didn't want to give him the satisfaction. I could handle this. "No. Of course not," I said bravely, straightening my back and approaching the table with determination and steady steps. At least, they still seemed pretty steady to me.

Quickly, Damon set up the rack once more. This time, he stepped behind me, nudging my feet into the correct position and correcting my stance. Well, maybe that was not his only intention. My heart picked up its beat, especially when he put his hands on my hips. "Hold the cue as level as possible and pull it back slowly, rotating your hips as you do," Damon said, demonstrating how he wanted me to move them. "When your arm comes forward, your right hip should come, too. The transfer of body weight is what generates power."

At the moment, all I could feel were his hands, and it despite his slightly cool body temperature, it generated heat and made breathing difficult. I should never have agreed to this. His teaching me was just a ruse to get his hands on me, and apparently, I wasn't handling his closeness very well.

Damon pretended not to have noticed my reaction and did an excellent job at hiding his smug contentment. "Now, remember," he continued in that low, even voice, close to my ear as he leaned over me to correct the angle of my cue. "You want this first stroke to be smooth – a controlled and fluid movement, not a jerking blast." It was probably no coincidence that his lower body was pressing against my behind and that his advice seemed to carry an innuendo. Evoking images and triggering an involuntary response was exactly what he had been wanting to achieve. God, I had to stop this! As much as I was astutely aware of the fact that he was arrogant, dangerous and a player – he still oozed sex, and much to my chagrin, my traitorous body was highly receptive to it.

With a trembling hand, I took aim and shot – missing the cue ball entirely. Damn it! Damon quirked an eyebrow. "You really are miserable at this..." he observed, humor in his voice. "Though I think it's your concentration that's off for some reason."

Yeah, why might that be? I huffed, slightly irritated with myself.

"Maybe we should try this again when you're sober..."

"I'm not drunk!" I said with as much dignity as I could muster, hurriedly bringing some distance between us. Unfortunately, I stumbled over my own foot, which didn't exactly support my claim. It seemed that my body refused cooperation on all levels tonight. Damon, ever the savior, caught my arm and helped me find my balance.

"Right," he remarked drily. "Just slightly buzzed. Mind you, I'm not complaining!"

"Maybe we can play darts instead?" I suggested, wondering if it was better suited to keep some distance between us. Besides, I was slightly better at that.

"No way! You don't get to wield any dangerous weapons tonight."

"You're a vampire. What harm could a dart possibly do to you?"

"You forget that there are fellow humans around, Elena. And with your aim, they'd probably be cowering behind the bar in no time. Besides, getting a dart in my bum would still hurt." I giggled at the idea, which somehow caused a hiccup. Beyond being embarrassed, I thought this was actually pretty funny and erupted in a fit of laughter. Damon arched an eyebrow. "Maybe we should just get you home?"

"No," I objected determinedly. "I don't want to leave just yet. Let's have another try at this. I'm sure there's a brilliant pool-player inside me that's just begging to come out."

"Hm... maybe if we do some really deep digging..." Damon mused, then shrugged. "Fine with me. Just don't hold me responsible for any of your actions later on!"

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. I remembered only fragments of it: Pool lessons that involved more banter and more shots – some of them consisting of more tequila – a lot of laughing and some touching, later on music and dancing.

I couldn't even recall how we got back to his house or what happened there. From looking around next morning, we had continued the party right there in Damon's living room, where I must have fallen asleep on the sofa.

At least, that's where I came to eventually – moaning and with the mother of headaches. "God, I never felt so awful in my life!" I groaned, when I heard Damon racketing about in the kitchen.

"That's probably because you never got drunk like that before," he offered. "It was fun watching, though..."

"What exactly happened last night? I'm afraid I don't remember much of it..." I frowned, finding what looked suspiciously like my bra on the arm of the sofa. Up to this point, I hadn't even realized I wasn't wearing it underneath the shirt anymore. The possible implications made me look up in shock.

"Don't look at me," Damon said, spreading his hands in a gesture of innocence. "I have nothing to do with it!" I wasn't convinced, trying hard to find access to the memories that surely had to be there. My searching mind wasn't coming up with anything helpful. Not even with birds. Oh my God! I couldn't have had sex with Damon without remembering any of it, could I? I felt myself blush. "Have I... I mean, did we...?

"Nope," he thankfully immediately negated, before adding with a lower voice and a hint of smugness: "Though I had the distinct feeling yesterday that you might be signaling interest..."

Gosh – I probably had. Groaning, I swore to myself that I was never going to get that wasted ever again. Especially not around a vampire who had openly admitted to lust for my blood. And who usually didn't say 'no' if an opportunity presented itself like I had probably presented myself last night.

"Then why...?" My unfinished question seemed to surprise him.

"Well, call me old-fashioned, but I usually don't have sex with women who are drunk to the point of unconsciousness..."

"Yes, you do," I said, unfazed and with utter conviction.

A small, lopsided smile played at the corner of his mouth. "Well, you're right – I do," he relented. "But only with women who I'd much prefer didn't remember afterwards." He turned, putting the full intensity of his gaze on me. Although he didn't say it aloud, I also heard what he had left unspoken. He would want me to remember. I gulped, my heartbeat accelerating by a at least a beat per second. God, did he know about the devastating effect his eyes had on me? If he could use them like that, what did he need his other weapons for? With great effort of will I managed to break the hold of his gaze. "Well, your method of seduction sucks. A true gentlemen wouldn't make guests sleep on the sofa."

"As we both have established before, I'm not a gentleman. But I did offer my bed – the night before, when you were in truly bad shape that was none of your making. Yesterday though – I warned you! You weren't listening – again! Besides, I was afraid you might snore."

"I don't snore!"

"Well, given that I slept in my bed while you didn't, I have no way to confirm that. But you're welcome to share it with me any time you like, and I promise you won't long for a gentleman ever again!" Damon smiled smugly and then pointed at the bra on the chair. "Now – do you prefer to get properly dressed before or after we have breakfast?"

I shot him an accusative glance, feeling slightly resentful about his cheerful manner. "How come you're so chipper?"

"As I said: Alcohol, taken in its pure form, doesn't have an effect on me. Yet you insisted on trying to drink me under the table. I didn't feel obliged to remind you. And given that, for various reasons, I figured it would not be wise to feed from you yesterday, which I didn't, I am fine and you're – not."

"Thank you! Don't think you earned any brownie points for that." He grinned, while I collected the various pieces of clothing that I was missing and retreated to the bathroom.

Again, I felt much better after having taken a shower and brushed my teeth. To my surprise, Damon took me to the main house for breakfast. "You'll get something more nutritious than muffins in Marisol's kitchen."

"What about the other hotel guests?"

"There aren't any for the moment. Mostly, we have visitors in summer or for the annual festival in town." Not that I had much experience in economics, but surely a hotel could not be sustained with guests as scarce as that. "How do you make any profit with it?"

"I don't. The hotel is more of a hobby, helpful to keep up appearances."

"Then what do you live on?" It couldn't be on a decent man's work. The salary he got paid for his assistant job surely couldn't enable him to entertain his luxurious lifestyle – driving a fancy car, dressing in designer clothes and maintaining at least two big houses.

"It's easy enough to generate money if you live long and plan ahead. An investment in time usually pays off if you can afford to wait."

"Investments like what?"

"Whatever increases in value with time: a piece of land, old cars, furniture, art. Even shares, though there has been the occasional economic world crisis that ruined some of those. Besides, I do have some skills that sell – I wrote a couple of books on history, on the civil war, for instance. Critics were amazed at my insights."

"Oh, I can guess..." We had arrived at the main building and Damon led me straight into the kitchen. Like the rest of the house, it looked like a place where time was lost – it was easy to imagine I was back in the era of Lincoln. On second glance though, I found that there had been added a few amenities – such as an electric oven and a dishwasher.

A middle-aged, black woman with an apron and a warm smile on her face came to greet us. "Elena, this is Marisol, my guardian angel and helping spirit. She's also a great cook. Marisol – this is Elena, a close friend of Alys's back from Mystic Falls."

Marisol didn't seem to wonder why I was here with Damon while Alys wasn't. Or maybe she did and had come up with an explanation that she didn't comment on. On Damon's request, she happily fixed us a breakfast worthy to write home about, with bacon, eggs, cheese and waffles. I had the distinct impression that she was one of these people who thrived on mothering others. She positively beamed on watching us dive into it and was clearly disappointed to hear that we were going to leave after breakfast.

"Will you be home again soon, master Damon?" She actually called him master! I raised my eyebrows at him, having a hard time choking my laughter. He gave me a reproving look and turned to answer Marisol's question.

"I'll probably come back in a couple of weeks. At the latest for the festival."

"You really should bring mistress Alys, then. I can't believe I still haven't met her!"

"I'm sure you will, Marisol. I promise!" Appeased, she retreated into the kitchen. "Don't laugh!" Damon told me sternly. I didn't. I merely grinned widely. "Yes, master Damon. Sir!"

"I haven't told her to call me that! She's pretty old-fashioned, and this whole retro thing has her really enthralled. Her family has been serving the Salvatores for generations. Marisol has been the keeper of this house even while our 'uncle' still lived here. Hiring her back was the logical thing to do after I bought the place."

"What's this festival she was talking about?"

"Something equivalent to your Founder's Festival. The only occasion that attracts people from outside town to Fells Church."

"Have you been attending it?"

"Not recently. I skipped it a few times while my relatives still owned the place – so as not to get people suspicious about my youthful age. But this year I can't bail out. It's kind of expected of me to be there, being the owner of one of the oldest plantations. Especially since I benefit from it – it gets tourists to town, some of whom spend the weekend at the hotel."

"How much is a few times?"

"About thirty years, I guess. Long enough to fog people's memories. It would help if they didn't have everybody dress up in period costumes, though – you won't believe what a different haircut and the current fashion can do to change people's perceptions."

"They all wear costumes from the late 1800s? That sounds like fun."

"If you really think that, maybe I should bring you next time."

I didn't say anything to that. This weekend admittedly had been pleasant, and Damon had really kept up his promise of behaving civilly most of the time. But I knew that this was due to the circumstances of my rescue – I wouldn't be able to count on it if I dared to came back into his territory again. It wouldn't be wise to push my luck. Still, I felt a pang of regret when we were on our way back to Mystic Falls again. This had been a short break, putting off the unpleasant things that waited to be dealt with. Especially Stefan.

As if he had read my thoughts, Damon threw me a quick glance before directing his attention back on the road. "Are you gonna tell Stefan?"

"About this weekend?"

"About the accident and what led to it. Because you really should tell him, Elena."

"I'm not sure. At the moment, I'm a bit out of sorts with him."

"Yes, I figured that much. May I ask why, exactly?"

I sighed. To my own surprise I found myself telling him about the photograph I found.

"So what are you making out of that?" Damon inquired. "You think he's got something to do with the death of your parents?"

"He must have, Damon! The photo was taken the morning they left for their hiking trip. I never saw it before – it hadn't been developed yet. They had the camera with them. It must have drowned with the car, and yet, Stefan somehow got his hands on it."

"But you don't know that for sure..."

"Well, no. We were mourning more significant losses at the time."

"They might have lost it before the accident happened," Damon offered. I raised my brows. "Sure. And Stefan just happened to come by and find it. Very likely."

"You can't seriously believe he killed your parents! Come on, Elena – it's Stefan we're talking about! He couldn't hurt a fly. He can't even stand the sight of blood. And I don't mean that as a compliment!"

"I know. I don't really believe he did it, either. But whatever the explanation: he lied about everything. We never met by coincidence. He knew about me beforehand." As Damon had. He must have been thinking about that, too, because he added soberly: "We all have our secrets, Elena. It might not have been the right time to explain."

"Why are you even bothering to defend him?" I wondered. " I figured you must be gloating inside!"

"Because you need to talk to him and tell him about the accident. You need protection."

"Protection? From what?"

Damon's eyes were dead serious as he tried to make his point. "Elena, this vampire – whoever he was... his appearance on the road wasn't coincidental. He was waiting for an opportunity to take a hit at you."

"What?" I stared at him in disbelief.

"Think about it! It's highly unlikely that he was idling about on the roadside, waiting for some attractive girl to drive along to make a road kill out of her. There are easier ways to get a meal, believe me. And you said he'd been following you ever since you left Elijah's house. That proves that he must have been stalking you for a while."

I felt an icy weight settle in my stomach. So I hadn't been paranoid. An unknown vampire had been stalking me, and he knew where my friends lived. He had tried to murder me in cold blood. Falling prey to a vampire was bad enough, but knowing that this had been something personal made my blood run cold.

"But why would he want to kill me? I don't even know any vampires except for you, Stefan, Alys and Elijah."

"That's about four vampires more than the average person is acquainted with. Maybe it doesn't even have to do with you, but with Stefan. That's another reason why you need to tell him. He might have an idea who the guy is and why he wants to hurt you."

"You think he might be coming back for me?" I asked, feeling outright scared now. Damon threw me another sideway look. "I think you shouldn't be taking any chances," he said, his voice carefully neutral. "Somebody needs to watch out for you. Just in case."

*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*

We picked up my car from a garage about 50 Miles south of Mystic Falls. Just like Damon had promised, it had been repaired and showed no traces of the accident. Damon settled the bill and refused to even discuss it.

He wanted to head straight back to campus for one of his seminars, whereas I intended to stop by at the boarding house first. I needed to talk with Stefan, and there was no sense in putting it off.

While Damon was inside the office to do the paperwork, I quickly typed a text message to Stefan, asking him to meet me at the boarding house in about an hour. He promptly answered back, promising that he would be there.

I had briefly spoken to Alys yesterday afternoon – before getting into my drinking contest with a non-intoxicateable vampire – and had told her about my fight with Stefan. Given that Alys had implored me to hear him out, he must have given her a convincing explanation for being in possession of the incriminating picture. I only hoped that it would be good enough for me, too.

I felt a little weird getting out of my car when I reached the boarding house. As if I was somehow stepping out of an alternate reality and back into a life in which fundamental things had changed. And yet the last 30 hours seemed surreal, like a far away dream.

Entering the parlor, I had a weird flashback of a very similar scene. Was it only two weeks ago that I had come to talk to Stefan about inexplicable events and unbelievable secrets? And here we were again, Stefan guilt-ridden and worried that I might react badly to whatever he had to say. If this was typical for our relationship, it was probably a good thing that we hadn't carried it any further.

Again, it struck me how different he was from Damon, who was just being himself, no matter what anyone thought about it. Everything seemed more natural with him, and that was saying a lot given that Damon was a truly complex person and not easily dealt with.

"God, Elena, I'm so glad that you're back safe and well!" was the first thing Stefan said, and I could see that he was fighting the urge to wrap his arms around me. Wisely, he refrained from doing so and ended up crossing them in front of his chest, as if completing the embrace without me. Alys pulled me into a hug, though. Since neither of them yet knew about the true nature of the danger I had been in, their relief could only ascribed to my coming out unscathed of a minor car accident – or a weekend with Damon. I briefly wondered what had been troubling them more.

"If you two want to talk in private, I can go up to my room..." Alys offered, but I stopped her by putting a hand on her arm. "No, please. From what I understand, you're privy to all of this anyway. You don't have to go for my sake."

"Not for mine, either," Stefan agreed. "If it wasn't for you, Elena probably wouldn't even be talking to me after finding that picture." Stefan's gaze shifted from her to me. It was full of anguish and pain. "I can imagine how upset you must have been, and I'm so sorry about that. I'd been wanting to tell you everything that evening – but I never meant for you to find out like that."

"Find out what?" I asked, my voice trembling a bit. What if it had been an accident? Damon had made it very clear that it was easy to lose control. And I had always suspected that there was a reason for Stefan's rigorous abstinence from human blood. "That you are somehow responsible for my parents' deaths? That you kept the picture and sought my company to atone for a feeling of guilt?"

His eyes went wide with horror. "What? No! God gracious – no! Is that what you've been thinking?"

"I really didn't know what to think," I said flatly.

"I can't believe you even came back to face me if that's what you thought... You got it all horribly wrong." Stefan ran a hand through his hair in a gesture of distress.

"Then tell me." I sat down on the sofa, prepared to take on whatever he was going to throw my way, despite my nervously twisting fingers. Stefan remained standing, one hand propped against the mantlepiece of the fireplace, the other rubbing his forehead. "I have never told you how I became a vampire," he said, quite out of context.

"No, you didn't. And I never pushed for an answer, since you clearly didn't want to talk about it. All I know is that you haven't been like this for very long."

"To me, it seems like eternity, but I still don't have a vampire's perception of time. I guess a while down the road, the stretch of a decade or more will be nothing but a blink."

"So, how did it happen?" I asked. I could not yet see what his personal story could have to do with the death of my parents, but it was clearly difficult for him to find a point to start. So if that's what was needed to understand, I was willing to go along with it.

"I was attacked – not by some stranger, but by a woman who I had known superficially. It's nothing I care to remember. She fed on me, fanged me, and left me for dead – I never understood why she did it. The emergency doctors pronounced me dead, and I ended up in the hospital morgue. The pathologist who was called and informed about a new entry got suspicious on hearing that the victim had suffered severe injuries to his throat and lost a fair amount of blood. He came in immediately, and, being a vampire himself, he recognized the symptoms. He completed the change and saved me with his own blood. He created me."

"Was there no way he could have saved your life without forcing you to become like him?"

"It was too late for that – I was in transition already. All he could do was help me live through it by feeding me vampire blood. It was either that or drive a stake through my heart, making real what everybody believed at that point: That I had died on the way to the hospital. He was very supportive about all this: He found me a place to stay and helped me and my family to learn how to live with me being dead."

"Your family? He told them?"

"He did. But even though they were incredibly supportive, I still had to leave them. But we stayed in contact for many years." His picked up the picture of my parents and me from the table, looking at it, then turning his gaze on me. "Until they died."

The meaning of his words struck like a blow into my stomach. I was rendered utterly speechless, stunned, unable to even think.

"No..." I breathed tonelessly, shaking my head in denial and refusing to consider what he was getting at. It wasn't possible. Stefan sat down on the small table right opposite the sofa and took both of my shaking hands in his. "Yes, Elena," he said, his eyes full of emotion when his gaze connected with mine. "They were my parents, too."


	19. Blood Lines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just found out that my wonderful beta-reader for this story, Dreamthrower, is on AO3, too. Go an check out her story 'Fallout', too! It's great!

ELENA

I should have known where this conversation was headed when he started talking about his family. Yet I hadn't seen it coming – not this. "It can't be..." I whispered, my voice breaking. "My brother died. His name was Steve. There is a grave with his name at Mystic Falls cemetery. I remember his burial..."

Stefan looked at me with a sad, sympathetic expression. "They buried nothing but an empty coffin. Allegedly, my body was not in a condition to be looked at. Officially, I had died in a gang-related street crime. That's what they always claim if it happens in a city. Animal attack for the more rural areas."

Again, I was unable to say anything. My rational self still clung to its memories – the version of a past that had been solid and valid up to now. The present could change at short notice and turn your world upside down from one minute to the next – I had learned that the hard way. But your past wasn't supposed to do that. I had fought so hard to accept reality back then – and as painful as my past was, it was mine, it had become a part of me. It couldn't have been all wrong.

Yet my gut was telling me that each and every word was true. Stefan was the undead vampire my brother Stevie had become.

"I don't recognize you..." I finally said, searching his face for some kind of familiarity and coming up empty. Why hadn't I been able to tell at first glance?

"Do you even remember what I looked like?" Stefan asked gently. "I don't think you could. You were only seven years old, back then. I was nineteen – a grown-up in your eyes. And you never saw any pictures of me after my death."

That was true. Mom had kept them locked way somewhere. She had always said they were too painful to look at. "She never showed them to me. After they died and I was moved to Pennsylvania, the albums were gone. They must have been lost in packing."

Stefan picked something up from the desk and set it in front of me. The photo albums. All of them. Flipping through the pages with shaking hands, I felt my eyes swell with tears again.

"After Mom's and Dad's death, Elijah took them," Stefan explained with a tone of regret. "He couldn't have sent them to you. It would have made it impossible for me to ever return here."

"Elijah? As in Dr. Daniels? So he was the vampire who changed you?"

"Yes. We wanted everybody to forget what I had looked like, so that I could come back eventually."

"But Jenna should have recognized you... She knew you!"

"Thanks to her living in California, we hadn't met all that often. The last time she had seen me, I had barely been an adolescent. And I don't take after our father, either, so there wasn't much of a family resemblance. Besides, people look different after going through the change."

I looked at the pictures, slowly turning the pages, and wiping the tears before they fell on the treasure in my hands: the memories of a childhood caught on polaroid. My parents smiling at me. Me and Bonnie in the sand box, all messy. And there was Stefan. Yes, if I had been in possession of these pictures, looking through the albums over and over again and branding them into my memory until I knew every detail by heart, there was no doubt that I would have recognized him, even though he had looked different back then. Less perfect, more – human. Only now that I was able to draw a comparison, did I realize how little human was left in him.

"Why did they never tell me about you?"

"They would have, eventually. At the time, you were simply too young. And then they died before they had a chance to tell you. Mom left her diary, though. I'll give it to you. You'll understand if you read it."

"You have my mom's diary?"

"Our mom's diary, Elena," he said gently. There was an aching tightness in my throat and unshed tears veiling my eyes. All of a sudden, I had a brother again. It was still hard to wrap my mind about that.

"You said they always knew and kept contact?" I asked eventually, trying to understand what had truly happened back then. I couldn't even begin to imagine what it must have been like for them: Learning about the death of their beloved son, and then hearing that he had been raised from the dead to live as a vampire... They must have been freaking out completely.

"They took up hiking. It gave them an excellent excuse to leave town and go out into the wilderness – where we could meet and spend a couple of days together without fear of accidentally running into someone who knew me."

"You met them on their last trip..."

"Yes. I saw them last the day before they died. They had their old camera with them, and Mom gave me the film roll that was in it, with all the pictures she had taken recently. She always did that when we met. To make me still feel part of the family, I guess." He pointed to the photograph of me and my parents on the table. "I liked this photo best. It's how I remembered them, and you. I've been carrying it with me for the last five years. It must have been very disturbing for you to find it. I'm sorry for being so careless."

"So their death really was a car accident?"

"Yes. A truck driver had gotten into their lane right in the middle of the bridge and their car crashed into the river. I only heard about it a day later through Elijah. I can't tell you how that felt. Losing them completely and forever, losing you..." Stefan's voice broke, too, and I saw tears swell in his eyes. "I was at their burial. I couldn't help it – I just had to go there to say goodbye, if only from a distance. It almost broke my heart to see you cry at their grave. More than anything, I wanted to be there, to comfort you and let you know that you were not alone." His eyes were full of sadness and grief, mirroring my own.

"Then why didn't you? I was fifteen by then. I would have understood!"

"In the middle of puberty, with the loss you had to deal with, your whole life being turned upside-down? No, I couldn't risk it. It didn't seem fair to you, either – you would have lost me again. There was no way I could have been around you without raising suspicion: A nineteen year old who took interest in a girl of barely fifteen... Jenna would have had me arrested. Not even she is as liberal as that." No, probably not. "When I learned that you were moving back to Mystic Falls to go to Greenville College, nothing could have kept me from coming here, too."

"Where have you lived before?"

"It's true what I told you: I've been living with a foster family in Chicago. Vampires who take in the newly-created under-aged, who can't get by all by themselves yet and or who simply need an alibi family. They often have more than one foster child – in my case, there was Alys."

Stefan looked fondly at her, and I couldn't help feeling a pang of jealousy. Not about how much he cared for her – because I did, too. But envy for all those years in which she had known my brother and I hadn't. Yet I was also glad that he had found someone who cared for him as much as Alys obviously did.

"I'm so terribly sorry, Elena," Alys said, "for yet another secret that I couldn't share with you. It made my heart ache to see both of you suffer. And I felt guilty for even calling him my brother in front of you – it felt like stealing. I never wanted to take him from you."

I quickly took Alys's hand and gave it a squeeze. "I know that. And you don't have to feel guilty. You did your best to be a sister to both of us. I just wish Stefan had told me sooner."

So much time had passed, and so many opportunities to tell me. Why hadn't he?

"It's not something you blurt out on a first meeting!" Stefan said in an attempt to defend his decision, although he clearly did feel guilty about it. "You wouldn't have believed it. And then Damon showed up and complicated matters further."

"Damon? What's he got to do with this?"

"Well, he clearly had his eyes on you, and I had a feeling that you returned his attention."

"I didn't!" I immediately said, maybe a little too defensively.

"You doubtlessly would have, if he had gotten serious. As it was, you and I had become friends – and this instant connection between us must have looked like love to Damon. I decided to leave it at that. It wasn't fair on you, I know that now." I blushed, remembering the incident that had made him aware of how mistaken I had been about my feelings. Of course, it all made sense now. My heart had obviously recognized him, even if my mind hadn't.

"I never meant for you to start having doubts about yourself on realizing that what we had wasn't anything passionate. It was very inconsiderate of me – my only excuse being that I hadn't thought that far."

"Well, I guess Damon will be surprised to hear about this, too."

"I'd much prefer it if you didn't tell him."

I looked at him in surprise. "Why?"

"Because Elijah has strongly requested that I not let him know. I have no idea why – but he must have his reasons. He's very distrustful of Damon. It might offer some kind of protection against his advances if Damon thinks we're going steady." There was a certain irony to the statement that he couldn't be aware of. Damon wasn't the main threat to me at the moment, and even if he was, I didn't think having Stefan posing as my boyfriend would discourage him much.

"You believe he'd respect that?"

Stefan frowned. "Did he not? I mean – when you were with him, did he make a pass at you?"

I wasn't even sure if it hadn't been the other way round. Thanks to my getting thoroughly buzzed, I couldn't be sure of that. And Damon was always making lascivious remarks and innuendos, that was just part of his play. "No, he was behaving like the perfect gentleman," I said. And he had, most of the time. "Actually, he saved my life on Friday night."

Stefan and Alys looked at me with alarmed attention. "What do you mean?"

Hesitantly, I started to tell both of them what had happened after I left Stefan on Friday night. As expected, neither of them took it well. "God gracious, Elena! Have you any idea how close a call that was?" Stefan gasped, jumping up all agitated and going through his hair again. "I've never heard of a human whose life could be saved after a vampire injected his venom. I can't believe Damon managed to do that!" His frown deepened. "Maybe he didn't – maybe he just made that up as excuse to feed on you..."

Remembering the look on Damon's face in the car, I knew that this didn't even hold a grain of truth to it. "No, definitely not," I said, wondering why he would even think that. "You haven't seen how shaken he was. Why is everybody always suspecting the worst in him? He isn't all bad, you know. He even tried to convince me to tell you about it, thinking that I would need your protection."

"Maybe he does have a soft spot for you," Alys said pensively. "At least he has neither fed from you nor slept with you yet, and that's normally all Damon ever does with women."

"Yet? It's not gonna happen – none of it! I'm not a human blood bag!"

Stefan smiled weakly. "You're making your point with the wrong vampires. You're safe with me and Alys. And given that Damon saved your life twice, I owe him deeply. But that doesn't mean I trust him."

I kept my silence, fearing that my disapproval would lead to another discussion about Damon that I didn't care to have.

"So – why does he think that this guy, whoever he was, will try to get at you again?" Alys inquired. Since I had no clue, I could only shrug. "I'm not sure. Damon just doesn't believe it was coincidence. The guy had been following me."

"Then we'll have to make sure you're always with me, or Alys, or even Damon in the next couple of weeks," Stefan said resolutely. "Until we find him." As much as I enjoyed being in their company, being under surveillance 24 hours a day didn't sound like fun. "Find him? How do you want to do that?"

"If he sticks around, he's likely to leave a trace," Stefan said rather gloomily. I had a fair idea what he was talking about. "Of dead bodies, you mean..."

"He'll have to feed on something. Provided he doesn't have access to a blood bank – which is a luxury not many vampires enjoy – his feedings won't go completely unnoticed, if you know what to look for." Stefan probably saw the concern in my eyes and put his hands on my shoulders in a comforting gesture. "Don't worry, Elena. Now that I finally have you back, I won't let anything happen to you. We'll catch him."

His voice was calm and firm, intended to be reassuring, and it was. I wondered if it would always have been like that, having an older brother. Maybe not. Given that I had been so much younger than Stefan when he died – I still kept thinking about the end of his human life in these terms – we probably would never have shared this deep understanding. Our lives would barely have touched at all. So maybe there was some good to be found even in disasters. Provided you made it through them.

Overcome with emotion, I pulled him into a hug and Stefan returned my embrace with all his heart. Once again I was blinking back tears, except they were happy tears this time. I felt like being home again.

*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*

I spent the next couple of days in bliss, rejoicing in my newfound sibling relationship and spending almost every waking moment with Stefan. There were so many years we had to catch up on, so many long forgotten memories that longed to be unburied and still so much to be found out about each other.

Seeing him as my brother instead of a potential boyfriend had eased out even the last wrinkle in our relationship. There was no need anymore to question myself if this absence of passion was normal, or to pressure myself into feeling something I clearly didn't. Knowing about the things we shared – parents, a happy childhood, the sadness of losing it all and the incredible emptiness it left behind – explained our tendency to delve into rather serious topics of conversation. We were so alike in our thinking that any other relationship would have bordered on incest, anyway. Finally, I was able to embrace the familiarity we had always felt around each other with untainted, heartfelt joy.

My happiness was only marred by a few unpleasant concerns, that I purposely shoved from my mind for the time being: A guilty conscience for neglecting Bonnie and Caroline, the underlying worry about my attacker and the horrible nightmares that tore me out of sleep every night and slowly made me look like a zombie.

I tried to ignore them at first, hoping they would stop once my subconscious deemed the incident sufficiently dealt with. Yet that didn't seem to be happening anytime soon. If anything, they got worse.

Starting to feel desperate, I finally went to have a talk with Damon about it. He was the one primarily responsible for them, anyway, having messed around in my head. He simply had to put it right and fully erase those haunting memories of menacing eyes, sharp teeth that tore through my flesh, and the abundant flow of blood that had me screaming in horror.

Given that I hadn't seen him since our weekend in Fells Church, I felt a trifle nervous when walking up to his door. As clear and pure my relationship with Stefan was, as nebulous and murky was the thing I had with Damon. And after he had saved my life at least twice, I guessed we had a thing – whatever it was. Friendship? It felt like that occasionally, but friendship normally involved a reasonable feeling of comfort, and that was not the word I would have used to describe how I felt in his presence. Besides, what kind of relationship could I have with someone who admittedly saw me as a food source?

Almost regretting to have chosen a time when I knew that Alys was out, I knocked, and mentally prepared myself for dealing with him – another sign that clearly didn't bespeak friendship.

"Elena!" Damon exclaimed on seeing me, putting on his signature smile. "What brings you by? I haven't seen you in a while..." His pretended casualness effectively hid his thoughts and emotions. He looked me over appraisingly, then frowned. "You don't look good. Did Stefan make you lose sleep? Tell him not to be so demanding. You're only human, after all, and those rings under your eyes don't suit you."

I shot him a glowering glance. Okay, so he meant to revert the tone between us to audacious, saucy and flippant – just like it had been before our weekend in Fells Church. I stiffened my shoulders. Fine with me. It was probably better to pretend nothing had happened. Nothing had happened, after all.

Damon beckoned me in with a nod of his head and led me into the living room.

"This memory alteration thing didn't work!" I told him, not feeling the need for polite chit-chat after his preamble. "I'm having nightmares. Though everything remains foggy, I find myself back in the car, unable to move, while he's coming at me... biting me, depleting me of my blood and ripping my throat out. You must take those memories from my mind!"

Again, Damon gave me a scrutinizing glance, his expression unreadable. "I already did," he responded, at least without irony.

"Well, then you'll have to do it again, because it obviously didn't work!"

"Yes, it did," he insisted. "Those are not memories torturing you – it's your imagination. Your subconscious is putting facts and fears together and creates a reality of its own. I'm afraid I can't do anything about that." He offered me a glass of whatever it was that he was drinking, probably bourbon – which I declined.

A hint of despair seeped into my voice. "Maybe you didn't hide them deep enough, or you just didn't erase all the fragments..."

"Elena," he interrupted, looking at me with a sober expression and a hint of regret in his eyes: "I did. Believe me. He never took your blood. And he did not rip your throat out. It never happened like this, so those are not memories. I'm sorry."

"Then maybe you should let me remember what really happened..." I suggested. "You know – so I can deal with it and get over it."

"No-o!" Damon said, pulling the O like a chewing gum. "Trust me – you don't want those memories back."

"But I can't sleep, Damon! Every time I see someone in a hoodie, it makes my heart stop for a second... I was scared to death. I still am, just thinking about it."

Damon's stern gaze emphasized his point: "As you well should be! He meant to kill you, Elena. Fear will help you to keep alive."

"You must be mistaken! Nothing has happened in the last days – there hasn't been a sign of him. It was mere coincidence, and now he's gone."

"Sorry to disagree. It was about you. Or rather about someone he mistook you for..." Damon sighed. "There is something I haven't told you yet..."

Oh no. I had come to dread that line. I looked at him with questioning frown.

"I meant to tell you in Fells Church, but then we went out and you got buzzed and, well, I didn't want to spoil the good time we were having." Damon beckoned me over to his desk, rummaging in the drawers. "There's something I need you to see..." He took out a leather bound book that looked like an old photo album. Seriously? Was I in for another stunning revelation? Like the confession that he was actually my great-grandfather?

Damon turned straight to the last page. Lying unattached between that and the cover, as if it didn't really belong into the album, was an old, sepia colored photograph of a girl. An ominous expression on his face, he silently handed it to me.

I took a look at it and gasped. The girl on the photograph looked – like me.

"A striking resemblance, isn't it?" Damon asked, his voice sounding slightly bitter. "If your hair was a bit lighter and curlier and your eyes a little more olive than chocolate, one could easily mistake you for her. On first seeing you, I did. Maybe your attacker did, too."

"Who is she?" I asked, flabbergasted. It was weird, having my own face look at me from a photograph that must have been taken at least a hundred years ago.

"Her name was Katherine, Katherine Pierce. She was the vampire who turned me." Damon's voice was oddly toneless, not giving anything away. It made me instantly suspicious. "Was?"

"She vanished in 1864 – at least out of my life. I never heard from her again."

"But she's still alive?"

He shrugged all too casually. "Most likely so. Katherine always knew how to watch out for herself."

Okay, I could sense an issue here. An iceberg submerged might not look like much, judging from what can be seen, but it gives a hint at what lies beneath. And I had the feeling that there were a lot of turbulent emotions hidden beneath Damon's seemingly calm aloofness.

"Am I related to her?" I asked the most innocuous of all the significant questions that came to my mind.

"Now that's an interesting thought. The thing is: Vampires don't conceive. If you are a descendant of hers, Katherine must have had a child before she was turned herself – before I even got to know her. She never mentioned anything like that, and she sure wasn't the motherly type."

"You were in love with her," I stated, not even questioning it. He had a heart, after all. Probably a broken one. "What happened?"

A careless shrug was meant to tell me that it didn't matter, a disdainful twitch of his mouth told me it did. "What always happens: People fall in love and, rather unpleasantly, fall out of it again. I wasn't the only one she left – there was a very disappointed husband, too, and a few lovers and admirers she had wrapped around her fingers."

His tone didn't fool me. Clearly, there was way more to his relationship with that woman. And it was equally clear that he didn't want to talk about it. "A vampire husband?"

"No – he was human. She was married to Benjamin Lockwood."

"Tyler's ancestors? Had she already been changed when she married him?" Damon gave an affirmative nod, and I questioned further: "Do you think the Lockwoods know about vampires?"

"I bet Tyler doesn't have a clue. From what I heard and saw, he's an idiot. But I strongly suspect that his father had a fair idea. He was the chairman of this ominous Founders' Council after all."

"It's not ominous," I objected. "My father was a member, and so was my grandfather. It's a kind of tradition – families who have been residents of Mystic Falls for more than two generations can join in. Which is about half of the inhabitants."

"Well, it wasn't a tradition when it was first established," he pointed out with slicing logic. "At the time, you qualified for membership if you were in on the secret. That must have been about half of the inhabitants back then, too."

"You mean it started out as something a secret society of those who knew about vampires?"

"Yes. There was a time when this town was very much aware of them. Katherine was the one who made sure of that. Not only had she turned me, but also her brother Frederic and her best friend Pearl, who in turn changed her own daughter and one of her slaves. Frederic changed his girlfriend Bethanne. I lost track of the ones after that. Once started, it was like an infection – people who got vamped wanted to make sure that their loved ones would remain part of their eternal life."

"Who did you change?"

Damon turned his back to me and put the albums back to the shelves. "Alys," he said curtly. "She didn't thank me for it, though."

"Did you thank Katherine?"

He narrowed his eyes when looking back at me. "I wanted this, Elena," he said with a no-nonsense voice. "Don't mistake me for an accidental victim. It was my decision. So yes, I was grateful to her for giving me eternal life. But I had not foreseen the consequences of her meddling. Things in Mystic Falls started to get – out of hand."

"What happened?"

"Too many vampires in one spot drew attention to themselves, competing for the same food source. There were a couple of ugly deaths, given that most of the newly created vampires were still inexperienced and lacked finesse. It's difficult to feed without killing if you don't have the practice yet. The townsfolk were in uproar. That's when they created the council – a last line of defense against the vampires – to take back control over the town."

"It doesn't sound like they stood a chance against a horde of vampires. What could they possibly do?"

"They invited vampire hunters to Mystic Falls. Hunters have means to track vampires and render them defenseless. They are experts at killing them, too."

I remembered what Damon had told us about the vampires that had been burned in that chapel. So that was probably what Bonnie's grams had meant when she said the comet had brought evil to Mystic Falls. Except it hadn't been the comet. It had been Katherine.

"The burning of the Pierce's property – and the chapel... it was the hunters' doing?"

He nodded. "According to witnesses, the captured vampires – rendered defenseless with a special drug that temporarily immobilized their bodies – were locked inside before it was set on fire. I was lucky. I was far away when it happened, somewhere in battle. Nobody knew that Katherine had vamped me, too. When I came back to Mystic Falls, they were all gone. The Pierce's home – that of Katherine's parents – was burned to ashes. Allegedly, the confederate army had believed them to be union sympathizers."

I shuddered at the thought of helpless, but alive bodies in the middle of a man-made inferno. What a terrible way to die. "How did Katherine survive?"

"She had loyal and powerful help." He hesitated, as if not sure how much to reveal. "A servant of hers was actually a witch and sworn to protect her: Emily Bennett."

"Bonnie's ancestor?" Again, he gave an affirmative nod. It was curt, though, and I noticed that his jaws clenched. "I bet her granny knows all about it. Seems like everyone was keeping a diary, those days."

I furrowed my brows, trying to make sense of the story. "I don't understand. Why would Emily help save Katherine when she brought so much devastation to the town? Bonnie said witches are sworn to protect the balance of nature."

"Because of a plea... and a pledge."

"Made by whom?"

He sighed. "By me. Call it a premonition. Or maybe it was just having learned from experience. Katherine was over-confident, and getting careless. I didn't know about the hunters at the time, but it was clear that sooner or later, her actions would be putting her in danger. I made Emily swear to protect her – and in turn made her a promise, too: To always protect her and her descendants, if need be even from Katherine."

Wow. Damon had made a pledge to always protect Bonnie... and she didn't have a clue. "How did she manage to save her?"

"I never found out. Emily wouldn't say. But everybody I asked confirmed that she had not been among those burned in the fire, and I must have asked and compelled everybody in town. They still didn't know that it was she who had started all of this. Rumor had it that Lockwood had thrown her out of his house for being unfaithful to him."

"And you never heard from Katherine again?"

"I told you – love is a very fleeting thing."

"Why have you never tried to find her?"

"I did, in the beginning. But it soon became clear that she didn't want to be found. That's when I left Mystic Falls, banishing her from my memories. Until I met you."

I frowned. "Is that why you came back? To find out if you could somehow find Katherine through me?"

"I was intrigued. You and Bonnie suddenly appearing at my doorstep was a hell of a blast from the past."

Yes, I could imagine... Damon sneaking into my hotel room in order to feed on me – and looking at his lost lover's face after 150 years. I wondered what he had said or done that moment – and if he would tell me if I asked him. But I didn't. "And you think my resemblance to Katherine has something to do with what's happening now?" I asked instead.

"I told you: I don't believe in coincidences. Do you realize that all of this happened exactly 150 years ago – just when this comet was last seen? Witches believe cosmic events to be more than signs. They are some sort of celestial power interfering with our lives. Something is building up, Elena. I can feel it."

I tried to shake off my own feeling of gloom, which had only been amplified by his words. "So you think this guy who attacked me – he mistook me for Katherine? It doesn't make sense – you can't kill a vampire with vampire venom, can you?"

"No. When he caught your scent he must have realized you were human, he probably couldn't resist. He simply would have killed you by taking your blood. Only that he was interrupted. So he used his venom to make sure you wouldn't live to talk about it."

"Provided he really mistook me for Katherine – who would hate her enough that they would try to kill her on sight?"

"Believe me, there are plenty of people who would probably like to see her dead. Katherine wasn't exactly well-loved for her kindness."

Yet he had loved her. "There must have been something in her that you wanted to protect..."

"Oh, there was plenty," Damon said with a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "She was witty and charming, very self-assured and strong-willed, which was uncommon in women of those days. And of course, she was the most beautiful girl I had everlaid my eyes on. Very much like you in that department. Being with her was like playing with fire – hot, intense, exciting – but she could be sweet and enchanting, too, if she chose to be."

Funny. It sounded very much like I would describe Damon. No wonder he had fallen for her – being a mere human, it wasn't easy to resist those vampire charms. But what did it get him in the end? Nothing but bitterness and disillusionment. I could do without that.


	20. Smells Like Teen Spirit

ELENA

"Elena!" Caroline exclaimed, spreading her hands in a gesture of exasperated disbelief. "Why aren't you dressed, yet? Don't tell me you have forgotten about the Decade Dance tonight!"

Admittedly, I hadn't. It had been impossible to forget with Caroline chatting endlessly about it all over lunch break. And not for the first time, either. The truth was, I wasn't particularly interested in going. Given that Caroline didn't know that I had almost been killed a few days ago by a lunatic vampire who might still be after me, she couldn't understand my reluctance to attend a party.

"I don't really feel like going anywhere tonight," I hesitantly fessed up. "These masquerades aren't really my thing – you know that. And I still have work to do."

"Seriously? What's going on with you lately, Elena? You are really turning into a spoilsport!" Caroline sulked. "I know you're blissfully in love, but all you ever do now is hang out with Stefan and shamefully neglect your friends. I can't even remember the last time Bonnie, you and I have been out together."

Well, she had a point there. Stefan, as promised, was not letting me out of his eyesight. He had even been sleeping in my dorm room ever since I was back from Fells Church, which was not only an infraction of college rules, but also seriously counteracted my assurances that he and I shared nothing but close friendship. To Caroline and Bonnie it must seem as if I was in the seventh heaven of love.

"I'm sorry," I said, feeling genuinely contrite. "I know that I have been a bad friend lately. I promise I'll do better."

"Well, you can start tonight," Carolyn said resolutely. "I've been looking forward to this party for weeks. And I want my best friend to come with me." Seeing that I was still undecided, she switched to begging. "Please, Elena – don't ruin this for me."

I sighed. She was right. I had had my chance to bail out when she mentioned it for the first time. So I guess I had to be in. "Okay, fine. But I'm going to bring Stefan along, too. I hope you don't mind."

"Of course not. I like him. And I'm really happy for you. How could I not be – I still feel a little guilty because of Matt. I know you dumped him a while ago, but... he was your boyfriend, and I somehow feel like I'm stealing him."

"Trust me, you're not," I assured her. "I'm glad that you finally found someone worthy."

"Maybe we should try to hook up Damon with Bonnie..."

"Most definitely not!" Bonnie exclaimed with badly concealed disdain. She still detested Damon passionately, especially after his affaire with Caroline. Somehow, Damon had a knack for making people react rather strongly to him.

"You're right," Caroline relented, "he's not worthy. I wonder what I ever saw in him."

I didn't comment on that. Damon sure had done a thorough brainwashing on her. But I had to give him credit: So far, it had turned out to be entirely to her advantage. Matt was so good for her. He loved to take care of people, and Caroline was an immensely grateful recipient of his attention.

Caroline sighed. "It's a pity that Matt can't be here. It would be so much more fun to have him around, too. I can't wait for the weekend." Another, rather ironic change. While Caroline had always been trying to talk us into staying here and going out in Greenville, she was now always eager to get back to Mystic Falls.

"Come on, let's get you changed," Caroline said resolutely, taking control of the evening. "What are you going to wear?"

About an hour later, we were all properly dressed up and styled, which left Caroline looking cute and charming and me feeling silly and out-of-place. I had always successfully avoided events that required wearing a costume – and the somewhat forced merriment that usually came with it. I had never been particularly fond of Halloween, either, and the only costume I possessed was a nurse's scrub dress.

But the theme of this party was the Fifties, so no, I didn't really have an outfit. Count on Caroline to be prepared for emergencies like that, though.

"Don't make a face, Elena!" Caroline tried to cheer me up when she and Bonnie positioned themselves next to me for a selfie. "Ain't you lucky that I got a little carried away when touring the vintage shops in town! You look gorgeous! Stefan will be so smitten!"

In fact, he was – but as I noticed with a little surprise, his admiring attention seemed focused on Bonnie, who did look lovely in her retro dress. More than once on our way to the dining hall he cast her a furtive glance, which she either didn't notice or chose to ignore.

The students who had planned this year's party – a tradition at Greenville College – had done a great job. The dining hall was lavishly decorated, and a few tables had been cleared away to make room for a dance floor.

We got us some drinks and sat down at a table, surveying the crowd. Except for Caroline, who had promptly found herself a dance partner and happily took off.

"Would you like to dance, Elena?" Stefan inquired. Judging by his expression it was more out of politeness than enthusiasm. After all, he was officially here as my date.

"No, thank you," I declined, not being much of a dancer. "Why don't you ask Bonnie? She's less likely to step on your feet. In fact, she's a great when it comes to dancing." Stefan's eyes lit up as he turned them to Bonnie, questioningly.

"You're sure you wouldn't mind?" Bonnie asked me, clearly torn between wanting to dance and but afraid to steal my date.

"Not at all," I assured her. "I'll have more fun and be safer just observing you guys. Go and have fun." I waved them off graciously, thinking that there might be more than the obvious advantage of not having to go in her place. Stefan really liked Bonnie, in fact, I was starting to suspect that he was pretty taken with her. It was hard to tell if she was reciprocating his feelings, though. Given that she believed him to be my boyfriend, Bonnie would sooner scratch her eyes out than to ever throw him a flirty glance.

I decided to have a talk with Stefan about her soon, to find out if my musings hit a mark. If so, we definitely had to find a way to explain our platonic relationship somehow, before things really got complicated and someone got hurt.

"Elena." The sound of my name spoken in a familiar voice tore me out of my reverie. I raised my gaze and met Damon's. I was momentarily stunned. Not that he was here – this being an official campus party, most staff were attending. But not many professors really pulled off the retro look like he did. Damon was probably the only one wearing authentic clothing and hairstyle and feeling comfortable in it. He looked dazzling.

"Wow," I couldn't help voicing my admiration. "You look – dashing. James Dean? Or rather Tony Curtis?"

He grinned cockily. "Much better: Me! In an old favorite outfit. I think I wore these pants last in Los Angeles, that night when... ah, never mind." He gestured vaguely at the crowd, and drily observed: "I've actually never seen so many people looking like people from the fifties. Not even in the fifties."

His gaze shifted back to me, slightly frowning. "Why are you sitting here all by yourself like a spinster? In case you haven't noticed, it's a decade dance, and everyone else is having fun, including Stefan, which is – strange. I could swear I even heard him laugh!" He reached for my hand and gestured to the dance floor with a bent of his head. "Come on!"

"No, Damon, really – I have two left feet when it comes to dancing, probably for lack of practice. It's gonna earn you nothing but blue toes."

"You're afraid of hurting me?" he asked, incredulous, and put a hand to his chest. "I'm touched! Now come on, stop worrying. It's all in the leading." Knowing that Damon wouldn't take 'no' for an answer, I reluctantly allowed him to pull me out of the chair and drag me to the dance floor.

Before I knew what was happening, I found myself being whirled around to a particularly rocky beat – Chuck Berry or something – in a way that one might have called manhandling if it hadn't been quite so exhilarating. At least, Damon hadn't boasted with skills he didn't possess; not surprising, really, given that he'd seen every new dance style in the last 150 years come up. His leading was smooth and skillful, so that even with me, he managed to draw admiring eyes. Still, I felt relief when the song was over and Chuck was replaced by some crooner.

I turned, intending to head off again, but again, Damon caught my hand again and pulled me back. Shaking his head in reprimand, he chided: "That was only half a dance, Elena. And since you managed just fine, this slow one should be no problem for you at all." Not even waiting for my response, he put his hand on my back and pulled me even closer.

This time, he was wrong, though. Dancing with him like this was a problem – though for entirely different reasons. It did nothing to calm down my heart rate after the gymnastic efforts of the previous dance. My lungs still seemed to lack oxygen and I was feeling slightly dizzy. I was strangely aware of his hand on the small of my back, which seemed to generate heat where it touched. Weren't vampires supposed to be cool to the touch? He must have had a lot of coffee this evening.

"Have I told you how sweet you look tonight?" Damon asked in an alluring tone of voice. "Whatever brought that rosy glow to your cheeks – it suits you!"

I wasn't sure if it was meant as a compliment or a challenge. I sometimes suspected that he just enjoyed trying to make me blush and get all tongue-tied. Successfully.

"You smell delectable, too." Damon buried his nose in my hair, sniffing. "Like vanilla and peaches..."

I pulled back a little. "Stop talking like I'm some piece of cake or candy."

He smiled lasciviously. "Can't help it – you certainly are something I'd love to taste."

"Damon! I mean it!" I felt myself tense with uneasiness.

"Am I making you nervous, Elena? I can hear your pulse, and it's beating rather fast."

"I'm fine. It was just the excitement from the previous gymnastic efforts." I avoided looking in his eyes by turning my head to the side. Damon brought his own cheek near to mine, his mouth close to my ear. "Really?" He asked, with a slightly teasing note, before his voice became sober again. "I think you're lying." I could swear I felt his eyes wander to my neck, and wished I hadn't pulled my hair into a ponytail. I felt strangely naked, all of a sudden.

"Don't worry," Damon said, still in that low voice, as if he had read my thoughts. "You're safe enough amidst all these people. Even though I have to admit I feel thoroughly tempted..."

"I'm not worried." At least not about him biting me here and now. "I just don't like you being like this..." His eyes lit up with interest. "Like what, exactly?"

"You know what I mean... flirtatious, provocative, ambiguous, you name it." It was the version of Damon that Caroline had fallen for.

"And there you are lying again," Damon whispered into my ear. "You know what I think?" Involuntarily, I looked into his ocean blue eyes that held my gaze. " I think no matter how things work out between you and Stefan – what happened in Fells Church... it did something to you."

"Yes," I said defensively, "it got me scared, alright? Being almost killed by a lunatic vampire does make people a bit jittery."

"You're not this uptight because of fear."

"No? Then why do you think?" I meant it to sound ironic, but realized to late that I shouldn't have put it like that. Of course, he had to rise to the challenge. His voice was almost a purr now, low and seductive, his eyes smoldering. "Because I get to you. Even though you won't admit it, you find yourself drawn to me. You're thinking about me even when you don't want to think about me. I bet you even dream about me..."

"Only in my nightmares," I said, forcefully withdrawing from his hold. "If you'll excuse me... I need... some fresh air." That was a lie. What I actually needed was distance, quickly. Stefan's magical necklace was a poor defense against Damon's powers. He probably knew that, given that he kept testing it, trying to get me under his spell. It almost worked.

Fleeing from the dance floor and the dining hall, I ran into Bonnie, who was probably on her way to the restrooms. "Elena – is everything all right?"

"Yes. No. I don't know." She looked at me questioningly, and, deciding we needed a minute, dragged me off into a corridor. The ladies room wasn't the place to be when searching for quiet – it was crowded with giggling and gossiping girls redoing their hair and make-up. We turned on our heels and headed for the library on the opposite side of the hallway.

"We're not gonna get in here," I said. "It's locked."

Bonnie shook her head with a sly smile and pointed her fingers to the keyhole, closing her eyes. She took a deep breath, and with a click, the door sprang open.

"Wow – how did you do that? I'm impressed. Seems like everyone around me is having mind powers, these days."

"Everyone? Who else is?"

"Damon," I said, sighing. "I guess he's starting to make me feel – creepy, too."

Bonnie frowned. "Why now? I mean, you said he saved your life when you had that car accident, and you said he was behaving civilly when you were in Columbia..." I hadn't given her the exact location of the place to where Damon had taken me. Connecting him to the hotel would raise questions I wasn't able to answer.

"He was – then. Unfortunately, he now seems to have set his mind set on – I don't know... He's like eating me alive with his eyes and keeps making lewd comments, which I find..." I never got to finish my sentence. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the door suddenly fly open forcefully. A man was standing on the threshold, illuminated only by the dim light in the corridor. Except for his eyes underneath his hoody. They seemed to have an eerie light of their own – a menacing, blood-tinted glow. I gasped and instinctively took a step backwards, as did Bonnie. I knew who he was the second he set his gaze on me. He had found me.

Panic set in, and I tore my eyes from him. Grabbing Bonnie by the arm and pulling her with me, I broke into a run, fleeing into the nearest aisle in between two rows of bookshelves. For a moment, it even seemed as if he would let us get away, for there was no sign of pursuit, not even a sound to be heard. Then he almost magically appeared only an arm's length away from us, making us scream and frantically turn again. I was still trying to come up with a brilliant escape plan, when I was suddenly grabbed from behind. His arm circled my neck, strangling me and forcing my head to the side. He was baring my neck for his deadly bite. I screamed, but it was more a strangled chortle for lack of air. Just when I thought I was going to faint, Bonnie delivered a thudding blow to his head with a thick book, and for a second, I was free. I tore from his hold and we escaped once more.

Panting, we fled through the aisles, never sure whether he'd be awaiting us at the next corner. He was making a game out of this, never letting us get near to the door. We had no chance to escape. On passing the working desks, I blindly reached into the jar with the writing utensils and came us with some sharpened pencils. The next time he caught up with us and tried to grab Bonnie, I successfully stabbed his hand with one of them. He immediately let go, swearing. We tried for the door again, but he blocked us, forcing us to flee into a side room used for presentations. Too late I realized that we had come to a dead end. There was nothing in this room but a line of chairs and a high desk in front of a whiteboard. Nowhere to hide.

We split up, forcing him to decide on one target. He was about to lunge for me, but that moment two familiar figures almost magically appeared at my side, as if they had materialized out of thin air – Stefan and Damon. Time seemed to come to a stop. While Stefan pulled me to him, our attacker got a hold of Bonnie, pulling her into a strangling embrace, using her as a shield. Only now did I see the stake that was pointed to her heart. Bonnie's eyes were wide with fear. For a moment, nobody moved.

"What now?" Damon asked provokingly, after having assessed the situation. "If you kill her, you're dead, surely you know that!" Boldly, he took a step forward and fixated his gaze on our attacker.

Bonnie's captor lifted his glowing eyes. "You!" he spit, his pupils mere pinpoints in his surrounding iris when fixing his gaze on Damon. "I know you!" Unperturbed by the loathing in his voice, Damon merely shrugged. "Well, then you're clearly at an advantage here, for I have absolutely no clue who the fuck you are!"

"I am the brother of the girl you murdered!" The words came out thick with hatred and full of gloom. Yet Damon maintained his apparently unruffled cool. "I've killed a lot of people. You'll have to be a little more specific than that." I held my breath, not believing that he dared to provoke the guy even further when he was pressing a stake to Bonnie's chest.

"Oh, I'll make you remember, all right! I'm gonna make you pay for every drop of her blood that was spilled in your creation. You will suffer for the rest of you miserable eternal life for the pain you caused. I'll kill each and everybody you ever cared for, including her." He jerked the arm around Bonnie's throat, wrenching a strangled cry from her.

Stefan tensed. "What's she got to do with it?" he demanded to know, clearly not as unruffled as Damon. The vampire briefly shifted his eyes to him and then back to Damon. "You two don't fool me! I know who she is!"

Damon raised his brows as if questioning his sanity. "Well, clearly you don't, if you think you can use her as leverage against me! Go ahead and kill her – I couldn't care less, and you, sucker, are dead anyway."

The vampire hissed. "I don't need leverage. I just need her dead. The witch is not going to help you and your vampire lover this time."

Damon strained his eyes as if having trouble with his hearing. "Hang on there a second and let me see if I get this straight: You believe she's Emily Bennett? From back in 1864? What – you think I cloned her or something? She's human, as your nose should be telling you, and clearly under 170 years of age!"

"Don't mock me! I know who she is."

"You're an idiot! You already mistook Elena for Katherine. What's wrong with you – have you been feeding on junkies much lately? You know how that interferes with your sense of smell, right? You are what you eat!"

"Tools of the devil, that's what they both are!" he said, and then his unholy eyes focused on me. "The venom should have killed her, and yet she lives! If that isn't proof enough for the powers at work here! The bitch should have burned to ashes for all her sins, and yet the witch protected her. You figure you have everything you need now to raise her from the dead, don't you – the witch, the doppelgänger, blood of her blood, and soon, the source of celestial power! So I know very well what's at hand here."

Damon frowned. "Really? I don't. It's all gibberish to me. Raise the dead? What the hell are you talking about?" Had I been able to think coherently, I would have wondered about that, too. Despite the vibe of lunacy he gave off, he clearly thought everything he said made perfect sense. But that was probably always true for madmen.

"I know you were behind it from the beginning. So I kept tabs on you. But this time, I won't let you get away. I'm willing to spare the witch, but the doppelgänger has to die. Give her to me and I let this one go." My heart gave sudden extra beat at that, but before I had a chance to react and even consider this, Damon's hand clamped my arm in an iron hold, his eyes not wavering from our attacker. "Over my dead body," Damon said icily, but I wasn't sure if his words were even directed at him.

The vampire snarled viciously and bared his fangs, aiming for Bonnie's throat.


	21. Death and the Maiden

ELENA

"No! Don't hurt her!" I screamed, but it was too late. Bonnie seemed paralyzed with shock – she didn't even blink until he tore into her flesh. Several things happened simultaneously: While I stared horror-stricken at Bonnie, who screamed and went limp, the vampire momentarily lost his grip on her, and for the blink of an eye the stake was no longer pointed at Bonnie's chest. Damon turned and, before the abrupt move could fully register with me, grabbed a blackboard pointer from a desk and tossed it to Stefan. As if it was one single, fluid motion, Stefan caught it and flung himself forward, and drove it deep into the vampire's chest.

There was yet another scream, this time out of the vampire's throat. He let go of Bonnie, who fell to the ground, and he stumbled backwards, tripping over a chair. With deadly menace, Damon threw himself at him and sent him crashing into the wall.

Finally able to move, I rushed to Bonnie's side. She looked dead. There was absolutely no color in her face, and she was still bleeding freely from the gruesome wound in her throat. "Oh my God, no! Bonnie! Please – she can't be dead!"

I pulled her up, cradling her head in my lap while Stefan bent over her and checked her pulse. "She lives!" he said, anguish on his face on seeing the bloody wound on her neck. "I can save her." In an almost exact repetition of the all too familiar, ugly scenario of the vampire's attack on me, Stefan did what Damon had done to save me. He sliced his own wrist with his teeth, liberally doused his blood onto the wound and also forced it into Bonnie's mouth. I felt my throat constrict, remembering the horrible moment in the car when Damon had done this to me – making me swallow the thickly, salty blood and it's nauseating, metal taste. Even though I knew now that it had saved my life and most likely would save Bonnie's, I still found the intake of a creature's blood revolting. I turned my back, not wanting to watch.

Damon, who was suddenly crouching beside us, put his fingers to Bonnie's chin and moved it to the side, dubiously inspecting her wound. "Have you made sure that he hasn't injected his venom?" Fearfully, I turned to see what had become of our attacker and found him motionless on the floor, the pointer sticking out of his chest. I quickly averted my gaze from him, too, not finding anything to focus on that was not deeply perturbing.

"No – why would he?" Stefan seemed bewildered.

"It's what he did to Elena. You should see if there's any taste of it in her blood."

"No!" Stefan visibly recoiled. "I can't! I don't, ever..." Even though he didn't say it, I understood exactly what he was so concerned about. He didn't take human blood – for fear of what it would do to him, afraid it might send him into a frenzy, trigger his bloodlust and make him the monster he fought so hard not to be.

Damon rolled his eyes. With a disdainful snort at Stefan's squeamishness, he took Bonnie's wrist and bit into it as if he was biting into an apple. "Hm..." he made, letting go after taking a sip and wiping his mouth. "Not as delicious as Elena's, but definitely worth a taste." Stefan shot him a killing glance. "Is it clean?"

"Pure as a virgin's. She'll recover. Elena looked worse after we were done with her." I evaded Stefan's gaze, knowing well onto which track this remark must lead his thoughts.

"What's with him?" I asked, nodding towards the other lifeless figure on the floor. "Is he dead?"

"Not yet! I hope he'll come around once more before I finish him off."

"Why?" I asked sarcastically. "So you can torture him a little before you kill him, just for the fun of it?"

"I'd love to!" Damon said flashing a fake smile as he got up and walked over to the motionless body. "But I also need to go over some of those crazy things he said once again." Grabbing end of the pointer, he gave it a tentative shove. The vampire moaned in pain and twitched weakly.

"Damon, don't!" Stefan pleaded. "Just kill him and let's be done with it. There are more important things to take care of right now. Like her..." He gestured to Bonnie, who seemed to be coming round. Her eyelids fluttered weakly.

"Yeah. You get the girls out. I've got this."

Stefan bent down, meaning to pick up Bonnie from the floor. "No!" I said, not liking the glint in Damon's eyes at all. It seemed that his evil vampire part was about to make an ugly appearance, and I couldn't let that happen. "I'm not leaving you alone with him!"

"Go, Elena," Damon advised with meaningful glance at Bonnie. "You'd better watch out that Stefan doesn't lose it. Her wounds are bleeding..." I shook my head stubbornly. Stefan wouldn't hurt Bonnie. Damon on the other hand, was about to commit murder – and other atrocities. I could see the bloodlust in him.

As if he had heard my thoughts, he added very matter-of-factly: "I'm gonna finish him off anyway. With or without you watching." He grabbed the guy by his jacket, lifting him up in a sitting position. He was definitely coming round fast, probably because the pointer was made out of metal and not wood. I remembered that Damon had told me vampire wounds didn't close around wood.

"Elena, please!" Stefan tried once more, visibly torn between his desire to get Bonnie out of the room before she came round and his need to stay and protect me.

The vampire opened his eyes and focused. Opening his mouth, he spat up blood. "You won't kill me!" he uttered, though it was more a groan than a pronounced sentence.

"I won't," Damon replied almost pleasantly, stepping closer and bending down. His eyes, despite glowing dangerously, were cold as ice. "At least not before I make you spill something besides blood! Now – explain yourself, and try to be a little more coherent this time. What is it that you want and why are you so hell-bent on killing Elena?"

"Take a wild guess!" The man gave him a queer look, as if he really thought his intentions must have been clear enough for anyone to see.

Damon gripped the end of the pointer and shoved it deeper into his chest, making him moan in pain. "I'm not really in a playful mood right now. You'd better quit this chit-chat so you can have a fast and painless death. I ask you again: Why do you want Elena to die?"

The guy winced, not holding up against the pain and the pressure. "So you can't use her..." he whispered, his voice barely audible, "... and bring Katherine back."

"What?" Damon froze in his move, a stunned expression in his face. His attention wavered for a fleeting second, and his victim used the moment of distraction. In a movement so fast that it was almost indiscernible, he tore the pointer out of his stomach and jumped out the window. The glass shattered into a thousand pieces as he crashed through it.

We all rushed to the gaping frame, looking down at the paved yard three stories below and saw him lying there, sprawled and unmoving. And just like he had after I had run him over, it took only a second before he was back on his feet, taking off into the dark.

"He's escaping!" Stefan was beside himself. "Damon! He's getting away!"

"Yes, I can see that," Damon said pensively. "I'm afraid there isn't much we can do about it just now."

"What if he tries to get to her another time?"

"Don't worry. We got him once, we'll get him again, now that we know who to look for. He won't catch me unawares a second time." He gave me a funny look. "Don't take it personally. This was quite obviously not about you or Stefan. It was about me."

Stefan looked puzzled. "You don't think there might actually be any sense behind his words and actions tonight?"

Damon looked thoughtful. "I don't know yet. But I'll definitely find out, once I've tracked him down."

"What about Bonnie?" I asked, cradling her head in my lap again. Her pulse was beating strong and steady and the wound had stopped bleeding. She was moaning softly, apparently about to come round. "What are we going to tell her?"

"Nothing," Stefan said. "She can't know."

"Oh, come on Stefan, lighten up!" Damon chided. "She needs to know. You heard the guy – she might be in danger, still."

"And I'll make sure she's safe. But we can't tell her. I'll take the memories from her and put everything about tonight in a context that makes sense to her."

Damon gave a snort. "Just in case you've forgotten, bunny-boy – you won't be able to make her forget anything," he cut in. "You don't have the strength to do it. Only human blood gives you that!"

"No," Stefan said, raising his eyes, which now had an unholy glint to them, "vampire blood should do the trick, too." At with that, he flung himself at Damon with that supernatural speed they both were capable of and which escaped the human eye. This time, it escaped Damon's eyes, too. He was caught completely off guard – which was the only possible explanation I had for the fact that Stefan somehow managed to crash Damon into the nearest wall and make a go for his throat. Most likely, Damon had never expected anything violent coming from Stefan, who, despite being a vampire, he hardly considered an equal.

Whatever the reason, he couldn't prevent Stefan from taking a deep gulp of his blood before he was able to shake him off and send him flying backwards.

Carefully controlling his temper, he felt for his throat, looking at the smudge of blood on his fingers. His eyes were narrowed, the only apparent indicator of his blazing rage. "I admire your guts, Stefan," he said, his low voice a silky menace, "and I understand you must be desperate. Yet, I strongly advise that you never ever try to pull a trick like that again, unless you don't mind me killing you. Understand?

"What, Damon?" Stefan taunted. "You don't like being fed on? Does it make you feel used? That's probably what your victims feel too, being on the receiving end of your attentions."

"Stop it, both of you!" I grabbed Stefan's arm, meaning to calm him while at the same time wordlessly imploring Damon to back down. "Please – can we just not have another fight tonight... I can't take any more of it right now."

There was a brief moment of strained silence, which had them both just staring into each others eyes. Then Damon's gaze briefly turned to me, and with an almost imperceptible nod of his head he relaxed his pose. "Mind my warning if you cherish your vampire existence," he calmly said to Stefan, then simply turned and left the room.

I took a deep breath, realizing only now that I had been holding it. Admittedly, he handled his defeat with grace – if it could be called a defeat at all, given that he had forgone retaliation, which would have been easy for him to deliver. Something told me that Stefan had just made a very narrow escape.

"There," Stefan turned his attention back to Bonnie, who was twitching. "She's waking up..." Her eyelids fluttered, and Stefan lifted her up into a semi-setting position, beckoning me to sit behind her for support.

"Bonnie, are you okay?" Bonnie opened her eyes fully, trying to get her bearings. Instinctively, her hand went to her throat. "My neck.." she winced. "It's hurting..."

"Don't touch it," Stefan said, gently pulling her hand away, "it's healing." Bonnie's fearful gaze flew around the room, taking in the obvious signs of fight and the destruction. Then she looked at Stefan, frowning as she was putting pieces of her memory together. "What's going on?" she asked, her voice trembling with shock and confusion. "I don't understand what happened... this guy – he attacked me and his face was like – not real... And then he bit me... He really bit me!"

"I know. Don't worry, he's gone. He won't hurt you again."

Stefan crouched down beside her, looking into her eyes. "Listen, Bonnie – I know how strange this all must seem to you. I'm sure you're frightened and confused, and I can't explain it in a way that would make sense to you, as much as I'd like to. But I can put everything right again – take away the fear and the pain, if you let me..."

Bonnie's gaze locked with Stefan's. It was full of questions she never asked, but there was something else that I couldn't put my finger on.

"I promise that everything is gonna be okay," Stefan said. "I just need you to trust me..." His eyes were pleading, betraying his fear that it might be too much to ask.

He needn't have worried. "I do," Bonnie simply said, calmly returning his gaze. The words came without hesitation and were spoken in utter conviction. I could only marvel at this. Even I wasn't yet willing to put my faith in him unconditionally – not after he had held back vital information about himself – twice. As he was doing with Bonnie now. And yet she didn't even question that, but just softly asked: "What do you want me to do?"

Stefan's eyes were smiling at her. "Just keep looking at me at me and try to relax." Bonnie took a deep breath. When Stefan caught her gaze this time, her expression suddenly turned blank, resembling that of a sleep walker.

"You will forget about everything that happened tonight, except for this: It was a wonderful evening, until some drunk jerk tried to have his way with Elena. You do remember what he looks like, and you're going to watch out for him from now on. You came to her aid, and you both fled to the library. He followed you, there was a fight, and a window got smashed. A piece of glass pierced your neck, but it's not a wound to be concerned about. Damon and I arrived and chased him off. All of this had you more angry than scared, and also little proud of yourself, because you and Elena put on a hell of a fight and managed to defend yourselves. You'll be careful not to hang about alone until I tell you that he's been caught, though. This is all you remember..."

"This is all I remember..." Bonnie repeated obediently, as if in trance. Than she suddenly blinked and looked around with a confused expression. "Wow. That's one hell of a mess," she said, taking in the signs of destruction around us. "Did I just pass out? My head feels a little funny..."

"I think you banged it on the shelf when he shoved you. Are you okay, otherwise?"

"Yes, I'm fine. I think a piece of glass hurt my neck, though..." She felt for the wound, which had stopped bleeding.

"Here, let me take care of that..." Stefan grabbed the first aid case from the wall and took out a disinfectant wipe and some bandages. Gently, he started to clean the wound. Bonnie was watching him with a very peculiar expression on her face, until Stefan paused, briefly closed his eyes and then thrust the bandage into my hands. "Ehm, on second thought, why don't you help Bonnie with this, Elena, while I'll see if I can find someone to take care of the glass and the broken window... "

"Sure..." I said, realizing that Bonnie's neck was still smudged with blood. Apologetically, I shrugged my shoulders at Bonnie. "You know, he's a little squeamish with blood – I'll get it. Now hold still – this is probably going to sting..."

*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*

ALYS

When Damon came home from the decade dance, he was in a weird mood. Agitated, yet also strangely pensive. Something was troubling him, but I knew better than to push and ask him. He'd tell me if he thought I needed to know. Or not. In any case, there was no sense in wasting time with second guessing him.

"You have to move back to campus," Damon finally said, taking a sip from his bourbon while staring into the fire. Okay, not what I had expected. I gave him a puzzled look. "Why? Are you sick of me already?"

"I need you to watch out for Elena and Bonnie. The guy who attacked her last time had another go at them tonight."

"What?" I snapped my book shut and shot mental daggers at him. How dare he not tell me right away? "Are they hurt?"

"Elena is fine. He bit Bonnie though. But she doesn't remember that – Stefan made her forget."

Wait a minute. "Stefan? How did he manage to do that?" I wouldn't trust myself to effectively compel someone with the minimum amount of human blood I consumed. Stefan, who lived purely on animal blood, shouldn't be able to even compel a goldfish, and their memory was said to be rather short.

"He totally freaked out when it happened. If I didn't know that he's totally smitten with Elena, I'd swear he has a soft spot for Bonnie, too. I admit, he had me impressed. I would never have thought that he could get so – testosterone-fueled. I wonder if Elena noticed. If Bonnie is getting under his skin, this might get really entertaining to watch..."

"Stop making those naughty comments about Stefan and Elena. It's not like you think. They're – just friends."

"Just friends?" Damon snorted. "Has he told you that? He's got to be kidding you. Or is he sworn to celibacy as well as food-abstinence? He's hanging around with the most attractive, sexiest girl in town... and he's just befriending her? Don't tell me he's gay, because after today, I won't believe it."

"I shouldn't have said anything." I really shouldn't have. But I was not on board with with Stefan's idea of leading Damon – and Bonnie – on. We had been lying enough. I had asked Elijah for the reason why he wanted to keep Damon thinking that Stefan and Elena were dating. He had just given me a puzzled look and said that Stefan had misunderstood his concerns. And that it was too late for worrying about that anyway, now. So I wasn't much the wiser – except for knowing that Elijah obviously had his secrets, too.

"I just thought that if you knew they are just friends, it would at least take your jealousy out of the equation."

Damon frowned. "I'm not jealous of Stefan!" he said, taken aback. "He's pathetic!"

"So are you. You can't even admit that you feel something for Elena."

"Yes, I do – feel something: Hunger! She's intoxicating – that tremendous smell of her, the fragrance of her blood... Any straight vamp would lust for a taste of her."

"You're not fooling me, Damon," I said in a bored voice. "If it was just her blood you were after, you could have taken it by now." After learning what had happened after Elena's fight with Stefan – Damon following and rescuing her and somehow managing to do the impossible by half draining her and then stopping right there to save her life – I was sure that there was more to his intentions with her. Different from what it was with Caroline. I still wasn't happy about his interest in her, but at least I knew now that she wouldn't die at his hands.

"I never choose my girls just for their blood, Alys."

"No, for their bodies as well, I know. But guess what – you're not gonna get either from Elena without gaining her heart, too. Unless you force it from her, of course."

"Isn't that what you've been so concerned about all this while?"

"Not so much as I was concerned you might actually succeed in winning it. You wouldn't know what to do with it – except break it."

Damon gave me a long stare, not really knowing what to make out of my reaction. And it was a little off, when I came to think about it. If I really was so concerned for Elena's sake, why had I told him the truth about her and Stefan? Not that it mattered – he didn't believe me, anyway.

"Well, for now, I'll have my hands full in keeping it beating," Damon redirected our conversation back to where it had started. "That's what I need your help for. You should be happy – isn't that what you always wanted us to do? Bonding, working together for a common goal – doing good?" He was mocking his own words as he was saying them.

"I'm still wondering about your motives. Why do you even bother, if you don't care for her?"

"Well, my motives are exactly what you said: I want her: beating heart, warm body and the hot blood in her veins. Not necessarily in that order." He smirked and gave me a wink. Not for a second did I mistake it as playful.

"I have a better idea," I said, as it was forming in my mind. "Have them move here."

"Excuse me?"

"Think about it!" I said, becoming more enthusiastic about my suggestion as I did so myself. "It would be much safer. The dorms are loud and crowded. Everybody comes and goes as they please – all her attacker needs to do is to compel himself a girlfriend. Here, we'll hear anything unusual from a mile away. We'll be much better able to protect them."

"You want them all to move in? Stefan and Bonnie, too?"

"There are definitely enough rooms."

"Yeah, it's not the room sharing I'm mostly concerned about. But having the little witch under my roof for a prolonged time? Not a good plan. We'd soon scratch each others eyes out. Or maybe do worse."

"I'm not sure if Bonnie would want to move in with you either... She detests you. I wonder why?"

"Must be my dark vibe. Witches tend to be a little over-sensitive to that. But Bonnie is neither my main concern nor that lunatic's main target. It's Elena he wants dead. Bonnie was just collateral damage."

"Fine. Then let's ask Elena. Stefan can stay in the dorms and watch over Bonnie."

Damon leaned a little closer and lowered his voice. "You do realize that this might prove kind of helpful with regard to my ulterior motives, right?

"No," I said, not feeling concerned. "You'll protect her from the crazy vampire out there, and I'll protect her from you. She'll be alright."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can see that at least one person must be following the story... I'm resorting to begging now: Please... if you're still reading after 21 one chapters, you must like it at least a bit. Can't you please leave a comment and tell me what you think? The only two comments I received for 21 chapters so far were 2 spams with commercials! Feedback from readers is the main reason writers are sharing their story with you - we're not getting any money for it!


	22. The House Guest

ELENA

Alys's suggestion to move in with her and Damon came as a surprise. Granted, her reasoning was sound, but living under the same roof as Damon – that was begging for trouble. I wasn't even going to suggest it to Bonnie, she'd have a fit. With her memories of the attack removed from her mind, I was lacking a convincing argument as to why she should still feel in danger. According to her altered memory, the guy had attacked us randomly and was therefore unlikely to strike at us again. Bonnie thought that she'd be perfectly able to protect herself with her witchcraft, now that she was prepared. She seemed even thrilled to have finally have found a good use for her abilities and had her nose in her magic books every single minute – probably learning to call a firestorm or a whirlwind of feathers in case another emergency situation should arise.

Yet the fact that Bonnie wasn't overly concerned was exactly what clinched it for me. Stefan couldn't possibly watch out for both of us constantly. With me out of the equation, he could better concentrate on keeping Bonnie safe.

I had once again tried to convince her that he and I were just friends, and that he had only been sleeping in my room because he was concerned for my safety, but I somehow doubted that she believed it. Without the knowledge that he was a vampire with super powers and also my brother, that didn't make a whole lot of sense. I wouldn't have allowed Matt to sleep in my room under the same circumstances, so yes, I couldn't blame her for not buying it.

There was another issue I could solve by moving to the boarding house: Stefan could continue to sleep in my dorm room, and thus have an eye – or rather an ear – on Bonnie. At least that way Stefan would get a few nights of undisturbed rest, even if I couldn't. He'd been woken from my nightmares most of the nights he'd spent with me, though being a vampire, the lack of sleep clearly troubled him less than me. Hopefully, my moving out would also lend support to our claim that we were not a couple.

Still, it was weird.

"Are you really sure that this is a wise thing to do?" I asked Alys, just to reassure myself. "You always warned me away from Damon, and now you invite me to live under his roof? Does that mean you are more trusting of him now?"

"Let's just say that he has convinced me at least that he's not a threat to your life. With the kind of control he has demonstrated by saving you, I'm no longer afraid that he might harm you unintentionally."

"Wow. On a scale of trust ranging from 1-10, with ten being the highest, that declaration would probably make a solid two."

Alys sighed. "I thought that lately I've been catching glimpses of the brother I once loved, which makes me hopeful that underneath all that scorn and bitterness and disdain there is still something human in him."

"I know there is. I have seen it."

She smiled at me. "You somehow bring it out in him." Did I? I doubted that I had that much power over Damon. "Maybe it's the fact that I remind him of Katherine." Alys gave me an astonished glance. "He told you about her?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Because I haven't heard him talk about her for over a century."

"He showed me a picture. Why did you never tell me that I look almost exactly like her? " Again, Alys's eyes lit up with surprise. "Because I had no idea. Do you really?"

"Yes. It was uncanny. Have you never met her?"

"No. I lived in Fells Church when Damon joined the confederate army. He got wounded on a special mission and somehow ended up in Mystic Falls, where he was taken in by Katherine's family and nursed back to health. Damon and I didn't hear from each other until after it was all over. He never told me much about her – just that he had fallen in love with her, that she had vamped him, and then left him without so much as a word of goodbye."

"Even in this short version it's a truly sad story," I said. "Damon must have been heartbroken."

"Raving mad is more like it. He was pissed with Katherine for over a century. So if seeing you brings back memories of her, it should trigger his anger. But obviously, that's not the case. So whatever it is that's been happening in his mind since he came back, I think it's good for him, and I want to keep pushing that. If he starts feeling for people again, then maybe it's possible for me to feel for him again, too."

"Well, I'm willing to give this flat-sharing a try. If anything, it'll be interesting."

'

'*'*'*'*'*'*'*

Interesting didn't even begin to describe it. I moved some essential things over to the boarding house the very next day – to one of the guest rooms Alys had prepared for me. I guess a girl could get used to that kind of luxury. And I didn't only mean the en-suite bathroom and the walk-in closet that I didn't really use to it's full advantage for lack of clothes, but also the fact that Damon usually prepared dinner for all of us in the evening, and just as he had claimed, he was a very accomplished cook.

We didn't sit down like a family and share the meal, though – Damon would leave whatever he had concocted sitting on the stove or in the oven, so that Alys and I could serve ourselves whenever we felt like eating. We didn't really see all that much of each other in the first two days. I almost had the impression that Damon was intentionally avoiding me.

This evening though, when I came down, I found Damon rummaging in the kitchen.

"Sorry, dinner's late today," he said, looking up when I entered. "Alys is always out for her drama class on Thursday evening, and I usually don't cook just for myself. I forgot our human guest depends on solid food." He gave me smile – a genuine one, not the one that he put on to express either scorn, smugness or disdain. I felt strangely touched by it, maybe because he wasn't very generous with those.

"Don't go to any trouble just for me. A sandwich will do just fine."

Damon frowned. "You need to eat properly, and you can't do that with the stuff they serve in the cafeteria. Am I really the only one around here who values a healthy variety in his diet?"

I hopped onto a bar stool and sat down at the counter of the island, where Damon was busy chopping tomatoes. With the kitchen towel thrown across his shoulder, , he looked deceptively domestic. "Good question – why do you? Eat and cook, I mean. You could live on blood alone, right? "

"I could survive on blood alone," Damon corrected, "but I wouldn't call that living. I'd still be hungry for food, although that kind of 'hungry' it a totally different craving compared to the hunger for blood. Just a nagging discomfort, not a driving need. It would still make me grumpy, though." Another simple, almost endearing smile, not a smirk. I couldn't remember having seen him so relaxed. Except in Fells Church. "You really seem to enjoy cooking a lot," I mused, wondering if it was the thing that did it for him. "But since you're doing it mostly on my behalf: Can I help you with anything?"

"Sure, you can chop the onions!" Damon suggested. I made a face and he chuckled. "Forget it – there are no onions in anything I cook. No garlic, either." He twitched his brow. "You can lay the table, if you want to make yourself useful..."

"Will do." I hopped down from the chair and headed for the dish cabinet. Just when I rounded the kitchen island, Damon turned and accidentally walked into my path, avoiding a full body collision only by bending slightly sideways and brushing his body against mine. Only I didn't think it was accidental. "Oh. Hm..." He made a soft humming noise and I caught a whiff of his scent as he finally moved by.

"Don't do that!" I chided, feeling that I shouldn't be putting up with him getting naughty.

"Do what?" he asked, innocently.

"You know what! That move was deliberate."

His expression was sober, but I could see that his eyes were glinting with amusement. "Well, yeah... I was deliberately trying to get to ... the sink." I huffed. Sure. That's why he was standing in front of the fridge right now. I shook my head disapprovingly and made sure my face showed a matching frown. Of course, he couldn't simply just behave for the length of an evening. I probably was playing with fire again, getting too familiar or amiable with Damon. Yet, when I had laid the table, I resumed my position on the other side of the counter, watching him. "So, what's for dinner?"

"Chicken Parmesan with pasta and grilled vegetables. If you still want to help, you can chop the cucumber and some peppers for the salad."

"Sure." Damon slid me the chopping board and an enormous knife, that looked professional, yet intimidating. Gingerly, I started working on the peppers.

"So – how is it going, with you and Alys getting reacquainted with each other?" I enquired, trying to concentrate on my task.

"I guess that depends which of us you ask."

"I'm asking you, now."

"Believe it or not, I care for my little sister. Always did. It's just that... things became complicated somewhere down the line."

"And do you think you can de-complicate them?"

"Possibly. It's just not so easy with me constantly disappointing her."

I raised my gaze and gave him a surprised look. "You think she feels disappointed with you? Funny – because I think she feels exactly the other way around. That you disrespect her for her lifestyle."

"It's not so much disdain as concern. Alys and Stefan are in denial as to what they are. They're trying so hard to be decent that they refuse to have the tiniest bit of fun in life. Have you ever asked yourself why Alys never goes out in crowds? It's because it's so hard on her to hold on to her civil self if in the middle of a herd of prey." That sounded familiar. I remembered that Alys had referred to larger groups of people as herds. Maybe it hadn't just been a saying.

"Stefan is sociable." I pointed out. "And he sure isn't going berserk on humans."

"He hasn't been around that long. Humanity is still too much a part of him to change his view on humans. He still thinks he can be one of them. He won't be able to hold back forever, no matter how hard he tries. Sooner or later, reality will set in, and then he'll be struggling, just like we all are."

"I don't believe that."

"You don't want to believe that, Elena," Damon said seriously. "That's not quite the same thing."

We worked in silence for a minute, and I thought about what he said. "Still, from what I see, it's mainly your food preferences that vastly differ. Why does that have to be such a big deal?"

"Because discussing vampire food issues quickly translates to questions of morals and ethics. Is it really more okay to sip blood from bags than from the vein? It's still the same kind of food, after all."

"Well, I guess I'm the wrong person to ask, considering that I'm the food in your eyes..."

"Oh, you're surely so much more than that..." He lifted a brow – giving me one of those looks. Meaningful, provocative and slightly smug. Another warning. Subtle, yet effective. Had he noticed that I had become a little smitten with him lately?

I blushed, feeling a little confused. Too busy avoiding his gaze, I didn't pay attention and cut my finger. The edge of the knife was sharp, indeed, and sliced into my flesh as if into butter. I stifled a gasp. Not successfully enough for his sharp ears, though.

"What is it?" Damon, who had turned to the sink, looked up with a frown. "Did you hurt yourself?"

"It's nothing!" Quickly, I covered the wound with a towel and hid my hand behind the counter, where he couldn't see it. I remembered all too clearly the look on his face the last time I had been bleeding in his presence.

Damon raised his brows questioningly. "Honestly, you're a bad liar," he chided, making a move towards me. "I can smell the blood."

"Really, it's just a small cut. Just – stay where you are!"

He chuckled. Ignoring my warning, he casually came over to stand beside me. "Do you think I can't handle a little blood? It's not me who is fainting on its sight!"

"It's not you fainting I'm concerned about!" I said weakly. "I thought that..."

"Seeing you bleed is gonna make me jump on you?"

"That's what I've been warned about..."

"Well, I guess if you were really bleeding – and if I was hungry, or desperate... or otherwise in dire straits, having trouble keeping control of my emotions... there might be reason to worry. But I'm not terribly needy right now." He probably meant that to sound reassuring. It didn't, really. "Now, given that I'm all calm and relaxed, why don't you let me have me look? I might be able to help."

"What could you possibly do about it? Kiss it better?" It was meant to sound ironic, but to my surprise it came out sounding – hopeful.

"Hm – sounds enticing..." Damon gave me a lascivious glance, as his thoughts turned dirty. "I guess I could kiss you better..." he mused, pleased by his own play of words. Obviously, he was not having my bleeding hand in mind. My heart skipped a beat. Damon broke our gaze and reached for my hand to have a look at the cut. It wasn't too bad. Or at least, I had seen worse. Still, the ugly gash made me feel slightly sick all the same.

"I wonder what kind of vampire you would make if I ever turned you..." Damon said, with a curious look at my face. It couldn't be waxen. I felt too heated for that.

"A starving one, I guess."

"Probably so. Now, relax and let me handle this." He slowly brought my hand to his mouth. The way his warm lips enclosed the wound – tasting and stroking the open skin with his tongue almost in a sweet caress – should have made me recoil. But instead of thinking of how disgusting this blood fetish was, I could only marvel at how quickly the pain subsided. And wondered how his lips and tongue would feel on other parts of my body. My mouth, to start with. Oh boy. Fearful that my erratic heart beat would give me away, I made an effort to at least not close my eyes in bliss.

Damon seemed to enjoy himself, too. The low 'mmh'- sound that resonated from his chest sounded almost like a purr. I wasn't too concerned by his obvious content – after all, I had never heard of a vampire who had sucked his victim dry from a wounded finger, not even in a movie, so I doubted that my life was in acute danger. Only my self-composure.

All too soon, Damon let go of my hand and again and bit into his own with his sharp teeth. He enclosed my finger, letting our blood mingle. When he let go of my hand, there was nothing but a thin, red line of clotted blood where the cut had been – as if the wound that had freshly bled just a minute ago, was at least a few hours old.

"Your awesome healing powers. They never fail to impress me..." I murmured. As if uncanny speed and strength, eternal youth, beauty and frightening mind powers weren't enough to make a mere human feel inferior to the point of utter insignificance in comparison.

"Primarily, they're self-healing powers. But they work on humans wounds, too." Of course. It was just another tool that enabled vampires to feed on humans. With their saliva numbing the inflicted pain, it would probably not even hurt so badly and thus make their victims offer less resistance. "Doesn't that come in handy..." I muttered.

"It sure does. I bet Elijah is using this trick in the hospital, if no one's watching." He was most likely referring to the blood clotting qualities of vampire blood - not the pain numbing effect of their saliva while drinking.

"What about blood type issues and possible infections?"

"You mean like HIV? We don't carry it. Our blood doesn't carry any of the human diseases. And it's compatible with all human blood types – no matter what the flavor."

The food reference made me uneasy. I knew he had made it on purpose, calling to my mind what he was. Not just a differently genetically structured human. A predator. I briefly wondered why he kept doing it – handing out subtle warnings whenever I was on the brink of lulling myself into complacent ignorance. Clearly, he would have more to gain in making me feel all warm and cozy and complacent.

"You can taste blood types?" I asked, pretending not to be affected.

"Yes. Although it's just something like the head note. The individual bouquet is much richer and varies with gender, age and personal food preferences." As if he was talking of wines. "Yours, by the way, is delicate – mellow, velvety, smooth... very tempting!" He looked at me with his typical 'damonish' half-smile, that was as bold and provocative as it was compelling. His eyes flashed.

"You have to stop doing this..." I said, pitifully failing in trying to sound firm and adamant.

"Stop doing what?" He was a far better actor and actually pulled off the innocent look.

"This eye thing that you're doing. It's not fair." Meaning I didn't have any protection against the weapons he used – his teeth, his mind powers, his charms. My hand went to my throat. This stupid necklace wasn't helping.

His smile deepened. "Who said life was supposed to be fair?" he asked, unscrupulously doing the eye thing again. The message was clear. He didn't mind playing dirty, and I was fair game. "All's fair in love and war," Damon cited, leaning closer. "You can't blame a man for trying!"

Although half of my attention was distracted by his sheer physical presence, the other half of my brain was still functioning and came up with something remotely helpful. "Then tell me what you think this is – love or war?" I managed to ask, trying to tear my gaze away from his truly inviting and sensual lips. I knew the 'L-word' made him uncomfortable. Not this time, though. The intensity of his gaze didn't even waver.

"Isn't it always a little of both?" he asked, before leaning closer and adding with utter conviction: "The important thing is that I'll win in the end. You might as well admit defeat right now."

"The hell I will!" I muttered.

"So fierce and feisty!" he grinned. "I like that!"

Before I could answer to his challenge, we both heard the door open and fall shut again and Alys was standing in the hallway. On seeing me and Damon standing pretty close behind the counter and staring at each other – him smirking slightly and me probably blushing, she frowned. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No," I said, a little too quickly.

"Yes," Damon answered at the same time. He pulled the corner of his mouth up and distanced himself by putting the salad bowl on the table.

"We're making dinner," I explained, busying myself with folding the towel. "How come you're here already?"

"Well, there's a frat party tonight that everyone wanted to go to, so we cut it short." Alys said, still looking dubious. "Looks like I came just in time."

I preferred to think she meant that as in 'just in time for dinner', but I wasn't sure. Still, it was the first evening that we all sat down and had dinner together in relative harmony.

Alys, who hadn't been feeling well all evening, came down with a bad headache and retreated to her room shortly after. If she'd been Caroline, I'd suspect she was pretending in order to give me and Damon more 'quality time'. But Alys was hardly one to play matchmaker, certainly not between me and Damon, so this had to be real.

"How can vampires even have a headache?" I asked him, joining him in the living room, where he sat down with glass of bourbon in front of the fireplace. "I thought you were immune to all these trivialities bothering humans..."

"We are." Damon said indifferently, opening a rather antiquated looking book and flipping through the pages. "Provided we feed properly. Vampires are not supposed to live mainly on animal blood."

I sighed. So we were back to that topic again. But I was starting to believe that Damon did have a point there. He at least didn't suffer from anything, but was the epitome of strength and vitality. I was about to open my own book and do some studying for my biology class, when something about the book in Damon's hand caught my eye. I had seen it before... it looked like one of the journals Stefan had given me to read. I hadn't yet, except for my mum's diary. The more ancient ones were incredibly hard to read and I was not so interested in the daily ramblings of my ancestors.

"Wait a minute – is that my grandmother's diary?" I asked, not quite believing my eyes. Damon briefly turned back to the front page and shrugged. "It does say Isobel Fleming inside the cover, so the answer would be 'yes'."

"How did you get your hands on it?"

He was totally ignorant of my swelling indignation and the alarmed note in my voice. "Hm – can we say I found and borrowed it?"

"You stole it from my room!"

"Well, technically, it's my room – and it's only stealing if I don't give it back – which I'll certainly do, eventually."

"Damon! You can't just take and read other people's diaries!" Although I had known that he had no sense of morality whatsoever, this really shocked me.

"Yes, I can – I already read yours. It's easy once you get used to the handwriting."

"You read my diary?" I asked, aghast. I thought Damon capable of many things, but that was an invasion of privacy that should be unacceptable even to someone like him.

"M-hm. I found it in the hallway of Elijah's house one day, shortly after I had come to Mystic Falls. I didn't really know anything about you then, and I was intrigued about your uncanny resemblance to Katherine. Unfortunately, it wasn't much of a help."

Frowning, I remembered the day I had met Stefan at the cemetery and lost my diary – after Damon had probably scared the hell out of me and had made me forget about it. There had been some confusion later on – Stefan having left it on Alys's desk, but she never seeing it... So that's what had happened to it!

"I can't believe this!" I shouted, clapping my own book shut forcefully and jumped to my feet. "How could you! It's an incredibly indecent thing to do, and you know it!" For the first time, he had me seriously pissed. I really poured my heart into my diary – all my grief, my worries, my insecurities. He had no right to know these intimate details about me. None whatsoever.

"Who said I was decent? I'm not, and you know that!"

I was not willing to let him get away with that, this time. "You can't use the fact that you're a vampire as an excuse for your behavior! It's not!" Obviously, the thought had never occurred to him. Certainly the defiant, rebellious quality in his behavior fit perfectly into the picture he had drawn of the world. Like he was doomed to be bad, not matter what he did – just for being what he was.

Could it really be that some small part inside of him was hating that? "You don't have to be an asshole all the time – Alys isn't, and neither are Elijah and Stefan. So don't give me that crap about 'I'm a vampire, I'm evil!'. How you behave is your conscious choice, and not something you are born into or, in your case, made into."

Damon gave me a queer look that I wasn't able to decipher. Astonishment and a bit of annoyance, for sure – though I couldn't have said at what. At the fact that I dared to lecture him, or at the idea that there might actually be a grain of truth in what I had said?

"Do you realize that this is violating, infringing, hurtful and even embarrassing? How would you feel if I was privy to your innermost thoughts and feelings, your weaknesses, insecurities and fears?"

His expression softened. "You have nothing to be ashamed about, Elena," he said.

"That's quite beside the point, Damon!"

He was silent for a minute. "You're right," he conceded. "It was not okay to snoop. But I usually don't care much for other people's feelings. And that's what you were then – other people. I've been hoping to find an answer to a burning question, that's all."

His insinuation that I was no longer 'other people' to him, didn't escape my notice. I wondered if that was because of my resemblance to the former love of his life, or because of myself. "What burning question?" I inquired, somewhat mollified, not daring to ask the question that was burning on my tongue.

"Why you look like her." His voice sounded broken, carrying a hint of his innermost feelings, weaknesses, insecurities and fears. They all seemed to circle around Katherine.

"And did you find out?" I asked.

"Yes," Damon said reluctantly, "though not through your diary. But I'm not sure if you're going to like it."

"Spill it, Damon. I've think I've been coping fine, lately."

He hesitated a moment, then he got up and searched his desk. "I spent some time in the city hall, going through birth certificates, wedding announcements and newspaper archives," he explained, coming up with a document that looked old and crumbly. "And I was able to track your lineage back to a child born in 1860 – a girl named Caitlin. The mother wasn't named. The child was marked as a foundling and adopted, by a certain Dr. Nathan E. Michaels, from some remote town not far from Greenville. You're descended from her lineage."

"How does that link me to Katherine?" I failed to see the connection.

"It doesn't. But it does link you to Dr. Elijah Daniels."

"You think he and that Dr. Michaels are one and the same? Because they're both doctors? Isn't that a little farfetched?"

"Not if you know that E. stands for Elijah – it's not a very common name. And Daniel and Nathan are both abbreviation of Nathaniel. I strongly suspect that his birthname was actually Elijah Nathaniel Mikaelson, and that he was related to the original settlers of Mystic Falls. Vampires often play around with their names, so as not to be so easily traceable. Alys used to be Alice when she was still human, and she called herself Alexia in the middle of last century."

I was going to say that a slight resemblance in names didn't really prove anything. But if it was true, it would give at least give a clue as to why Dr. Daniels, whose involvement with my family might extend well beyond his turning of Stefan, had wanted to leave Damon in the dark about Stefan's and my kinship with each other. It linked me to him, and thus him to Katherine. Obviously, he hadn't wanted Damon to know about this connection. Why, I wondered?"

Damon looked at me with an expectant expression, that soon turned into a quizzical frown. "You look awfully pensive, yet not really surprised..."

"Well, it wasn't hard to figure out – with that resemblance, Katherine had to be an ancestor of mine. And Elijah has probably been taking in foster children all the time."

"So he has. But usually, vampires don't adopt human children – for obvious reasons. And it's even more weird that a single, male vampire would do so."

"So what are you making out of this?"

"I think he did because of a guilty conscience. For changing the foundling's mother into a vampire."

"You think Elijah is the vampire who created Katherine?" Was that what Elijah had meant to keep from Damon? It still didn't make much sense.

"Yes, that's what I believe. He raised her child, who got married and had children and grandchildren – and one great-grandchild named Isobel, who married a guy named Fleming – your grandparents. This is her diary."

If Damon had been going through birth certificates, he might easily have come across that of my brother, Steven. Or had he just focused on tracing my bloodline back to 1860? Obviously, he hadn't made a connection between Stefan and me yet. I pondered briefly if this was the moment to tell him. If Elijah had meant to keep Damon in the dark about his involvement with Katherine, it wasn't a secret any longer. But telling him now 'by the way, Stefan is not my boyfriend' would probably sound like an invitation that I didn't want to offer.

"So – did you find anything of interest in my grandma's diary?" I asked instead, chiding myself a coward.

"Not really. Just the usual ramblings of a woman of her time. But there's a hint at a big secret that her mother had shared with her one day. Nothing specific. She seemed all excited about when it happened, yet never mentioned it again, as if she meant to keep it even from herself."

"And what are you making out of all this information?" I inquired, postponing my coming-out to some 'better moment' in the future.

"I don't know yet. But I have a distinct feeling that it's of importance. It's all coming together too neatly: You, me and the comet returning to Mystic Falls at the same time, 150 years after Katherine vanished. Not only are you a descendant of her blood, but also a doppelgänger. I did some research on that, and in mysticism, those are a manifestation of great power and supernatural forces. Ask Bonnie about it – your friend, who just happens to be a descendant of the witch that was sworn to protect Katherine's life, and who just happens to be coming into power just now... It's almost like the constellations of the past are repeating themselves, and I intend to find out why."


	23. I Could Never Love Like That

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little bit of lemony stuff for those who have been waiting... :)

ELENA

A heavy thunderstorm had moved in, turning day into night. I had never liked storms very much, and lately, I didn't like driving by myself in the dark, either – especially not when the rain was pouring down like this. I'd just gotten home from a late class meeting, and by the time I had parked the car and made my way to the door, my light summer dress was drenched.

In the boarding house, all the lights were out. I had expected as much – the power was down in this part of the town. Still, it was eerie. The only source of light was coming from the living room, where an inviting fire had been lit in the fireplace. There, in a cocoon of warmth and light, I found Damon, lazily stretched out on the sofa and immersed in another leatherbound book. Snooping into someone else's diary, no doubt.

"Look who the storm blew in..." Damon muttered, looking up from his lecture with sudden interest sparking in his eyes. "You are dripping wet, Elena..."

And he was half naked. It had been unbearably hot before the thunderstorm, which was probably the reason why he had unbuttoned his shirt. I couldn't help staring at his sculptured chest. So masculine, so beautiful. I caught Damon's gaze and felt myself blush.

"Where is Alys?" I inquired, suddenly nervous.

"Out. Hunting," he replied, as if it didn't matter. He got up and briefly disappeared into the hallway, only to return with a fresh towel from the powder room. "Don't worry about her. Alys can take care of herself, she probably took shelter somewhere. You, on the other hand, will catch a cold if you keep standing there like a drowned cat. Come here and let me dry you off. You're ruining the carpet." His flippancy almost made me smile. I knew it was meant to hide his concern for my well-being. He held out the towel invitingly and, when I hesitantly stepped closer, wrapped me into it.

For a moment, when his arms came around me, I was enveloped in his scent, which had always reminded me of exactly this – whiskey, wood, clean linen and summer rain falling onto fresh grass. I couldn't help but close my eyes and inhale in bliss.

Damon moved me closer to the fireplace and gently began to towel me dry. He wiped my face, then my hair, my arms, and soon, I was feeling warmth spread to every fiber of my body. I closed my eyes, simply enjoying the feeling of being taken care of. Until my mind wandered off into a different direction, pondering the question how it would feel if it were his hands touching me, and not the towel, and I felt the heat rise to the surface of my skin.

"Mmm..." Damon breathed into my ear, while I was suddenly having a hard time breathing at all. "I love it when your skin is all blushed and glowing. Looks like the fire is warming you up quickly, Elena..."

Except that the sudden warmth pooling in my belly didn't have anything to do with the fire. It wouldn't explain the goosebumps that I was sporting all over, despite its warmth. That was the effect Damon had on me. It was so wrong but I couldn't help it. My body responded to him like it was attuned to his voice, his scent, even his thoughts.

And those became very clear when he stepped back and took the towel with him. All of a sudden, there was a smoldering heat in his gaze as it slowly wandered down my body, which was outlined in detail under the wet and altogether transparent material of my white dress. Realizing that I stood practically naked in front of him, I self-consciously moved my arms across my chest.

He grabbed them and gently drew them to my sides, holding them in place. I shivered involuntarily, painfully aware of the fact that we were all alone in the house, with no Alys to guard or interrupt. Was he considering taking advantage of the situation? And – would I let him?

"Don't hide from me, Elena! You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are so beautiful... Don't you know how much I want you?" His voice was hoarse, laced with desire. My traitorous body instantly responded.

"Damon..." I protested weakly, intending to free myself from his hold. He wasn't using force, yet I found it impossible to move. "I can't. This is wrong..." I averted my head when his came closer, torn between wanting to give in and feeling the urge to run. I mustn't let him kiss me. I instinctively knew that if I ever did, it would leave an imprint on me that would never go away again.

"Why, Elena?" It was only a whisper, but it carried a myriad of emotions.

Why? Because he was Damon. He might be incredibly attractive, sexy and charming, but he was still dangerous. A predator. He'd strip me bare, get under my skin and eat me alive. Literally.

I tore free of his hold and hastily turned away. It'd be safer to escape into the darkness than to stay anywhere near all the fires that were burning in our midst.

He caught me again, more forceful this time, and bumped me against one of the pillars that supported the upper balcony of the parlor. It didn't hurt much, but it scared me.

"Don't..." Damon muttered, his eyes intense.

"Don't what?" I asked breathlessly, trembling in his hold.

"Don't be afraid of me," he responded, yet made no move to release me. His hands were cupping my face, his eyes still holding my gaze, willing me to believe. "I would never hurt you. You know that, don't you?"

I nodded. Not because I was entirely convinced of that. But because I wanted it to be true. More than anything. And strangely, I suddenly did. What kind of magic was in his touch that always instantly made me relax? My hand flew to my neck, finding it empty. I wasn't wearing Stefan's necklace. Why had I taken it off?

"Don't worry," Damon said, noticing my movement and guessing correctly what was going on in my head. "You know I couldn't make you do anything you'd never do of your own free will. Unless..." he paused, slowly trailing fingers along my jaw, my neck, over my shoulders and down my arms in a seductive caress. His body was pressing into mine, making it very clear what it wanted from me. "Unless this isn't something you really never considered doing..."

Of course I had considered it. More than once. Purely in theory, of course.

"Is it, Elena?"

I swallowed, not quite knowing what to say to that. I was afraid that if I negated his assumption, it might not be quite as convincing as I would want it to be. He'd immediately detect the lie, and I surely wouldn't tell him the truth. So I said nothing, letting my blushing skin speak for itself.

"Maybe you even want me to do it... to take the responsibility away from you," he said in a low voice, his thumb tracing my lips. "Deep down, you know what you're longing for, you're just too scared to admit to those feelings." He leaned forward, capturing my gaze again. I was immediately lost – there was no withstanding the power of his eyes. "This attraction between us – you cannot fight it any more than I can. Stop trying."

Yes. He was right. Life had taught me to hold my emotion in check, to be careful, to always stay on the safe path so as not to fall off the deep end again. But with him, I was finding it more and more difficult to stay on course. "Yes. I want you, Damon," I admitted, feeling helpless. "But I do not want to want you."

"I know," he said with the barest hint of a smile. "But you really don't have a choice in this. Let go, Elena. Trust me." He could be so convincing, seductive, persuasive. My resistance, as theoretical as it had been, completely faded when his hands began sliding the hem of my wet, see-through dress up my thighs. My heart drummed in my chest in an ever increasing pace, demanding me to breathe faster, too. Surely, something that felt so good couldn't be wrong? And oh, did it feel good...

I moaned – a sound he took as encouragement to continue his exploration. He was touching me, everywhere at once, it felt like. No longer hearing that nagging voice in my head warning me that I was playing with fire and that I would get burned, if not totally consumed by it, I pulled his shirt down and let my fingers roam across his arms, his shoulders, his chest, enjoying the play of muscles beneath his smooth and all too perfect skin. When he reciprocated, I dug them into his back, desperately needing something to hold on to.

He was right. There was no sense in fighting it. I was drawn to his darkness like a moth to the light. I had nothing to set against him – he knew exactly what he was doing. There was no hesitancy in his touch, no fumbling, no insecurities or shyness. We were opposites attracting: While his skin was soothingly cool, mine was burning like fire; where he was hard as steel, I turned soft as wax in his hands, and when he pushed, I yielded. I was dissolving, soaring weightlessly in his arms, I didn't know where my body ended and his began.

Suddenly, without me noticing that we had moved or undressed, we were lying entangled on the fluffy carpet in front of the fireplace. I had completely fallen under his spell – the passion in his eyes, the magic of his touch, the softness of his lips. I didn't have control of any part of myself anymore. Every nerve, every muscle, even the beat of my heart followed his lead and sang in perfect harmony to the rhythm he set. It was urging me on and working me up, goading, challenging, demanding. My mind had completely shut down under his continued assault on my senses, just like the town's power when lightning had struck. I didn't even recognize the incoherent sounds that were escaping from my mouth as mine.

"Open your eyes, Elena," Damon suddenly demanded, growling. I did – and immediately wished I hadn't. Although I had been warned often enough, I wasn't prepared for seeing him like this – not the man that I desired, but the vampire he truly was. All of a sudden, he looked exactly like my attacker had looked – the dark veins underneath his bloodshot eyes that had lost all their color, his distorted mouth with elongated, vicious looking fangs. Before I had a chance to react, he sank them into the tender flesh of my neck. And just like that I was back in my worst nightmare. Razor sharp teeth tore my skin and cut my artery. The pain was excruciating. Blood gushed from the wound like a fountain – I could feel it running in rivulets down my neck, hot, wet and burning, until I was bathed in blood. I tried to free myself, but my fighting only served to worsen the damage inflicted by those deadly fangs that were embedded in my flesh like hooks.

That's when I started screaming.

And screaming as I usually did in this particularly nasty nightmare, I woke up. Sweating, my heart beating rapidly, and, worst of all, still flushed with of desire. It took me a moment to get my bearings. I was in the guest room of the boarding house. There was thunder rolling outside, a noise that had somehow found its way into my dreams. Just like Damon had.

"Elena?" I gave a jump when the door suddenly flew open and he was there for real. "Are you okay? I thought I heard you scream..."

For a moment, I could only stare at him wide-eyed. He almost looked like he had in the nicer part of my dream. He wore nothing but a pair of sweat pants with strings untied – which made me wonder if he had thrown them on just before jumping out of bed. I swallowed and cleared my throat. "Yes, I'm fine," I said, my voice still a little rough. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"You're not afraid of the thunderstorm, are you?" Damon asked, then smiled. "You know, you can always crawl into bed with me, if you are..."

"I appreciate the offer," I said drily, fluffing and rearranging my disheveled sheets to divert my attention from the perturbing sight. "But no, thanks. I'm not afraid. It was just a dream."

"Must have been a hell of a dream..." He suddenly frowned, looking at me with those really intense eyes that seemed to see right through me. God, this was so embarrassing – having a wet dream about Damon – he'd have a ball if he knew!

"Just my usual nightmare of creatures that go bump in the night..." It was partially true. The last part had been nightmarish.

"If you say so..." He almost looked like he knew about the real nature of my dream. But that was impossible. Vampires couldn't read minds, I reminded myself. But could they invoke dreams?

"Have you been in this room before?" I asked, suddenly suspicious. Could Damon influence my dreams, compel me to have erotic dreams about him? Doubtlessly, he wouldn't have scruples about that. 'I bet you even dream about me' he had said to me not so long ago.

"No..." he answered, intrigued. "Why are you asking?"

"Nothing. Forget about it."

He still seemed dubious. "Are you sure you're okay? I could call Alys..."

"No, really Damon, don't bother. I've had these dreams before, and you said there's nothing you can do about them. So just – go back to bed. I'll be fine."

He hesitated. For a moment, he looked as if he was about to say something, then decided otherwise. "Fine. Sleep well then," he said, reluctantly closing the door behind him again.

I turned my head into the cushion and groaned. As if being bitten by a vicious vampire every night wasn't enough of a torture! But erotic dreams about Damon? Definitely worse, at least for my state of mind. How could I ever look him in the eyes again after dreaming of his hands and his mouth on me? It didn't help at all that I hadn't had much of a say in it. He had compelled me. Why on earth, if it had to be a dream of Damon having his wicked way with me, would my stupid subconscious come up with a scenario like that?

Compelling a woman to have sex with him was abuse, and even Damon wouldn't do that. What was even more perturbing was the fact that I had not felt any of the resentment this sort of behavior called for while the dream lasted – no outrage, no helplessness, not even fear. I had just accepted – and, admittedly – enjoyed it.

Probably being compelled hadn't felt threatening in my dream because – though it wasn't under my conscious control – it still was a creation of my own subconscious. It was safe. Unless Damon did have a hand in this...

Making love in front of the fireplace... the 'best make out place ever', as Caroline had put it. No, he wouldn't use that memory on me, that would be disgusting. And surely he wouldn't bite me in a dream of his making. Though I had no doubt he'd bite me for real, if I ever allowed him close – in a dream he could control, he'd never make it hurt like that.

As much as I disliked it – well, admittedly, not all of it – it looked like my own mind was entirely to blame for this. It was probably a warning. No matter how strong the attraction – in the end, I'd get hurt.

I had better keep that in mind – and any salacious thoughts of Damon out of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, guys, you knew this had to be a dream, right?!  
> It will still be a long while before this is happening for real...


	24. Fool Me Once

ALYS

Fuming with anger, I ran up the stairs from the basement, searching for Damon. God, this was incredible! I couldn't even leave my dear brother out of eyesight for even an hour! I cursed my own negligence. Running out of blood bags was never advisable, but with Elena in the house, it was plain stupid. I still had cow's and pig's blood in plenty, but while it kept my cravings in check, it still lacked certain ingredients that kept a vampire healthy. Living solely on animal blood might be manageable for a younger vampire, but for older ones like me it wasn't advisable.

Yesterday, the consequential migraine had forced me to bed early and adversely affected my intentions to chaperone – just after having found Damon all over Elena. My stockpiling blunder had forced me to drive back to Mystic Falls today, to see Elijah at the hospital. I had just gotten home and gone down to the basement to put my new supplies into the freezer, when I made my discovery. Thank God Elena wasn't home yet!

I found Damon in the study and, arms on my hips, called him out on his latest endeavor to inflict misery. "Just who is the guy I found locked up in our basement, and what exactly is he doing there?"

Damon didn't even look up from whatever he was reading. "Some serious soul searching," he said, unperturbed by my outrage. "Reflecting on whether it wouldn't be wiser for him to do what I have asked him to do."

"Which is?"

He shrugged. "To tell me everything he knows about Katherine, her whereabouts and what happened the day she vanished."

"Katherine?" Damon mentioning his ex-lover had me momentarily confused. It was the second time this week that her name had come up in a conversation – after roughly 140 years with no mention of her at all. "What brought her up again?"

"The guy in the basement did. He's the vampire who attacked Elena."

"What? You found him?" Incredulous, I looked at him. Sharing this vital piece of information would have helped me and Elena to lay some of our worries to rest and get a good night's sleep again. Withholding it on purpose to keep Elena in the house longer and play guardian was wicked and cruel. "When? Why haven't you told us?"

Noticing the reproach and disappointment in my voice, he finally raised his gaze. "Simmer down! I only found him today." Damon seemed vexed now, but he quickly shrugged it off. "For a vampire as old as he is, he's awfully clumsy," he remarked contemptuously. "He's been feeding on street scum mostly. Alcoholics, drug addicts, prostitutes – not the healthiest people. It was pretty easy to track him down, he left enough bodies in his wake."

"So who is he and what has he got to do with Katherine?"

"Apparently, he is another resentful member of her entourage of ex-lovers – a former slave she used for feeding and later turned. He hadn't asked for it, though. He said she did it just for fun."

That about fit what Daniel had told me about Katherine. He had filled in all the gaps that Damon had left in his description of her, and I couldn't say that I regretted that she had left him. Her influence on Damon had been bad. "Now, wasn't she charming?" I asked ironically.

"Katherine always did as she pleased. That's one thing that always fascinated me about her. Anyway, her toy-boy is still pissed with her. And with me." Knowing my brother, probably for a good reason. "What did you do to him?"

Again, Damon shrugged, as if it was a detail of small importance. "I might have killed his sister while in transition. Not that I remember, but he clearly does. And he's still holding a grudge, can you believe it?"

"Yes, some people are just like that," I said drily. "They have problems with forgiving murderers who don't even show remorse for their deeds. So that would explain an attack out of vengeance on you, but not on Elena or Bonnie. What do they have to do with it?"

"I don't know yet. He seems to believe there is a connection to Katherine. He's afraid she might come back here."

I snorted. "After 150 years? Not very likely." Damon couldn't be still hoping for that, could he? He surely wasn't as pathetic as that. The girl was a bitch, and she had left him. "Obviously she didn't think there was anything or anyone worthwhile to come back for," I pointed out a bit unkindly. "Her family were all dead, no one survived the fire." Except for Damon that is. But she hadn't come back for him, and I knew that it had been eating him up. I might have been more sympathetic to his heartache at the time if he hadn't taken his hurt at her loss out on me. I had always felt that he had changed me not only to make sure I stayed with him, but also to punish me for declining his offer when he suggested turning me. I had wanted to stay human, and Damon had reacted as if I had just told him that I didn't love him and would leave him, too. Because eventually, that would have been the outcome: One day, I would have left him – not for lack of love, but by dying a natural death. He hadn't been able to accept that.

"Or maybe there's more to the story, after all," Damon surmised, having followed his own trail of thoughts that still circled around Katherine. "I think the guy knows where she is – or at least where she went to. But after he realized that I didn't, he refused to say more. I'm intent on making him reconsider."

"By starving him?" I asked irritably.

Again, he shrugged. "I thought it was a little more civilized than torturing him. Though I admit I toyed with that notion, too."

Somehow, his casualness made me angry. I had known a different side of him – caring and warm – that I longed to see again as desperately as a thirsting plant longed for rain. I knew that it was in him, and that he wasn't as hardhearted and untouchable as he continuously pretended to be. Elena had seen it, too. But that made it even harder to face the one and only aspect of his personality that he cared to let people see – the coldness, the contempt and the cruelty.

"Damon! You can't do that!" I protested, not so much for the sake of his victim as for my own. Or his. But of course, he couldn't grasp that.

"Are you kidding me? The guy tried to kill Elena – twice! And he very nearly killed Bonnie, though that doesn't bother me half as much. Still, those are three good reasons for him to die. He can count himself lucky to find himself still alive at this point."

"And what will you do after he's told you what you want to know? Kill the guy to avenge Elena before starting to chase after Katherine again?"

"Well, I guess that depends on the mood I'm in after having heard what he has to say, but I'm doubtful that it'll be good enough to let him live."

He clearly hadn't gotten my point. It was probably impossible to make him see it. And just as useless to try and talk him out of this. But whatever he decided to do, I didn't want anything to do with it. "Listen, Damon, I'm saying this once now and in a civil way: You get this guy out of our basement, or I'll do it. This is not open for discussion. I don't want a torture chamber down there. And I don't like the idea of living with a psychopath under the same roof." I looked him straight in the eye, intentionally leaving the question of who I considered the psychopath open.

At least Damon caught the strength of my determination. "Very well." He sighed theatrically, got up and stretched. "I guess I just have to press my point with him, then."

About a quarter of an hour later, I heard Damon coming up the stairs, carrying what looked like a body bag over his shoulders. He took his keys and made for the door.

"Is he dead?" I asked, wondering if he was going to bury the body.

"Not yet," Damon said. "But he most likely will be by the end of the night. Watch out for Elena. And don't expect me back anytime soon." And with that, he was gone.

ELENA

Alys was in a sour mood all day, though she wouldn't tell me why, exactly. Apparently, Damon had successfully tracked down the guy who had attacked us and was dealing with him – whatever that meant. I guess I didn't really want to know. He'd been out since the afternoon and had not returned.

Alys and I had lit a fire, snuggled up on the sofa, and watched a DVD. I must have fallen asleep at some point, because when I was suddenly jolted by the sound of a door falling shut, the fire had nearly died and I was alone in the room. Apart from whoever had come in and was now lurking in the shadowy hallway.

My heart pounding hard in my chest, I slowly sat up, trying to get my bearings. The lights were too dim to see much, but there was definitely someone there. Someone who had stopped dead in his tracks.

"Elena?" I then heard Damon's familiar voice ask. "What are you still doing here?" His words were slightly slurred and he wasn't walking with his usual grace when he stepped into the parlor.

"I must have fallen asleep watching TV," I said, disentangling myself from the blanket Alys had kindly thrown over me, and got up. Belatedly, I wondered if I had misunderstood his question. Maybe he had meant it as in 'what are you still doing at the boarding house'. But I hadn't thought he would expect me to move out the very hour I learned that I was out of danger. Well, I was surely not considering it just now. "What time is it, anyway?" I yawned.

"Way past your bedtime, sweety!" Damon leaned on the wall, seemingly casually, and gave me an empty smirk. I frowned. Something in his voice and demeanor was slightly off.

"Wow – you look..." I groped for words, trying to put my finger on what I thought was wrong with him.

"Handsome? Dashing? Irresistible?" he suggested cheekily.

Well, I wouldn't deny that with a hand on my bible. But he had surely seen better moments. His hair was tousled, his shirt was half unbuttoned and he obviously hadn't shaved for at least a day. He looked even more like the typical bad boy than usually. I frowned. "Wrecked. You look wrecked."

Nonchalantly, Damon threw his keys onto the small side table in the hallway. Except that he missed, and the keys fell rattling to the floor. I got up and approached him carefully. "Have you been drinking?" I asked, sniffing. I couldn't detect anything, but Damon surely did look slightly off track. His grin was pained as he lifted his fingers to illustrate just how much he'd been ingesting.

"Wait a minute – you said vampires can't get drunk, unless... Oh my God! You fed on someone who was, right?"

He nodded. "More than one..." he admitted obligingly. "Just drowning my sorrows."

"This doesn't look like grief. It looks like you being spiteful again."

"I just made a world-shattering discovery. I've earned being spiteful."

On second glance, he did look shattered. It wasn't so much anger that I saw in his eyes – it was grief – and guilt.

I wasn't sure if there was a point in reasoning with him, yet I tried. "Damon, can we just skip my second guessing you and get straight to the part where you tell me what's going on? You're obviously upset – and drunk – which is not a good combination. What brought all this about?"

"Well, if you desperately need to know..." He walked over to the coffee cart and picked up the bottle of bourbon that was still his most trusted companion in times of need. I expected him to pour himself a glass, but he ignored the glasses completely and brought the bottle to his lips instead. Whatever had him this upset, it must be bad.

"I had a busy evening," Damon said, his light tone mocking the darkness of his expression. "Tortured a vampire – didn't like what he told me. Killed and buried him, snapped some drunken bar flies off the street and had a few drinks. Ran some errands – broke into a house, scared the wits out of a servant, stole a book, found out I was fooled, cheated and betrayed. Tried in vain to raise the dead. Drank some more. Like I said – bad night." He shrugged, smirked and saluted to thin air before setting the bottle to his lips again. His whole demeanor was so disdainful and mocking that it would have fooled me – a while ago. Before I had come to notice that pretending to be unaffected and blasé was just the kind of act he pulled when he was deeply perturbed. This looked far worse than just perturbed.

I stared at him, momentarily at a loss for words. I hadn't been able to make much sense of what he had just told me, but again, his intent had been to shock me and scare me away. Though I had no clue why he kept doing that. Especially since he had to know by now that this wasn't the most promising way accomplish it. I could be pretty stubborn, too.

"Okay, so I take it I don't need to be scared of guys in black hoodies anymore?" I asked in a light tone, picking up on the one piece of information that had stuck.

"Nope."

"So there's a bright side to it. As to the rest... Where did you break in and why?"

He reached into his jacked and pulled out a small, leatherbound book, something that had started to look familiar. Another diary, though not one of mine. He carelessly threw it onto the table.

"Whose is this?" I asked, picking it up and looking inside the cover. There was the name, in proud and elegant handwriting. "Benjamin Lockwood?" I asked. "As in Mayor Lockwood?"

"The very first mayor of Mystic Falls – back in 1864." Damon raised his eyebrows and gave me a conspiratorial smile that was bereft of any warmth. "You know, I'm really grateful that so many people kept a journal in those days. It'd be impossible to put all the little bits and pieces together without the written report of eye witnesses to rely on."

I spared myself the trouble of expressing outrage again. He was immune to that even when he was sober, which he clearly wasn't at this point. "What did you find in it?"

"Proof," Damon said rather cryptically. It also sounded gloomy, bitter and vengeful. "It was an eye-opening lecture, not to mention a very enraging one. You see – our dear Mr. Lockwood meticulously put down all his vile acts, every perfidious scheme he had come up with and all the wicked people who helped him to carry them out – the most vicious one being a certain Emily Bennett. That little witch can count herself lucky to be dead, by the way! I'm getting into a killing mood just thinking of her."

"Bonnie's ancestor? The one who saved Katherine?"

"Except she didn't." With a wry, humorless smirk, Damon took another sip from the bottle before he turned his eyes back on me. They had an unholy glow to them that revealed his true frame of mind. He was seriously, deadly and ravingly mad. "She betrayed her. And me."

"What did she do?" I asked, softly, my heart jumping to my throat.

"The promise she made about protecting Katherine, in return for my pledge to make sure her line continues – she broke it. She didn't lift a finger to keep her part of the bargain. Instead, she helped Lockwood to get rid of his unfaithful wife and played me for a fool."

"She was killed in the fire?" Oh my God – if Damon had just found out that the love of his life had been dead for over a century and a half, no wonder he was in this state.

"No." Damon said gloomily, surprising me again. "I just found out that she never left Mystic Falls. She's still around – locked away in the family tomb, a living corpse."

Wait a minute – what? "I don't understand..."

"I had a chat with the crazy nut this evening. Turns out he wasn't so crazy, after all. He gave me a rough outline. The rest was all in there." He pointed at the book. "Lockwood had it all pinned down neatly: How they spiked Katherine's favorite toy-boy with drugs and waited for her to drop. How they brought her into the tomb beneath the Pierce's chapel and left her there – in a tomb that was bewitched with a spell that trapped her inside. A day later, the vampires were burned to death in the very same chapel, but the fire couldn't harm the tomb. When it was out, she probably found that she couldn't leave the ruins. She has been trapped inside since 1864."

The news took a moment to sink in. All those years he had believed her gone for good... and now this. That was quite a pill to swallow. "God, this is terrible! How could they do this to her?"

"Lockwood probably didn't want to be guilty of murdering his wife. So he just did away with her by locking her up and starving her into a coma."

"So Katherine is still there – trapped by witches' magic, in death sleep but still alive?"

"As alive as you can be, all dried up and mummified."

"I can't believe this... Damon, I'm so sorry!"

"Guess how I feel!" Betrayed, most likely, eaten up with guilt and regret. Probably also fueled with a potent desire to take revenge. At least that's what I would have felt.

"It was my fault – I never should have trusted a witch. But I'm going to make it right."

His words made something in the back of my brain tingle. "How so?"

He gave a smile, and for a reason that I couldn't comprehend, it had me scared. "I'm gonna free her, of course."

ALYS

"Are you quite insane, Damon?" I stared at him in disbelief when I learned about what had happened last night and, even more shockingly, of his intentions. Damon was sober again this morning, so this wasn't the product of a drunken mind. "You can't bring a vampire back to life who's been locked away for over 150 years! You've got to let her rest!"

When I had gotten up this morning, the noises from his bedroom had told me that Damon was up and already awake. Wanting to know what had happened to our basement prisoner and if Elena and Bonnie were finally safe again, I had gone to his room and just caught him stepping out of the bathroom, halfway dressed.

On hearing about last night's events, it soon became clear that Damon hadn't slept at all. Small wonder, given that he had been to Mystic Falls and back, burying a body and getting totally buzzed besides. Yet the news he had just shared with me was much more unsettling. I sank onto his bed as my legs suddenly felt weak.

"Rest?" He repeated the last word with utter repulsion. His eyes were still blood-shot, as happens from over-indulging in blood and alcohol. But apart from that, he was back to his usual, spiteful self. And clearly a man on a mission. "Being trapped and starved, buried alive in a tomb is not resting! I'm not gonna leave her there. I owe her!"

"You don't owe her anything after what she did to you."

"She hasn't done anything to me. She did not leave me, Alys!"

Leaving him would have been the kindest thing she could have done. I wasn't referring to that. "She turned you!" How could he forgive her that, if even I had trouble forgiving him?

"Because I asked her to! Don't you get it? I wanted it! I wanted to spend my life with her. It was not her fault that it hasn't worked out. I just blamed her for it for 150 long years."

He had said so before. But I had never really believed it. I would have been so like Damon not to admit that he had been seduced, played and strung along by Katherine. It would have been so like him to justify even this vile act. He surely had justified all the others, before. Had he really loved her that much? I still didn't believe it. But obviously, he did. "Look, I understand that this must have hurt you..." I started again, trying for a more understanding, soft tone. Damon scoffed. "I don't get hurt."

Yeah, another thing he possibly really believed. "You just don't admit you get hurt," I corrected. "Instead, you lash out and cover it up."

"Wrong again," he said in a low voice that was icy and deadly. "I get even!"

I felt my stomach sink. There was no talking to him when he was in this particular set of mind. "With whom, Damon?" I asked desperately. "There is no one left to blame!"

He smiled ominously. "Why – with the Bennett witches, of course," he responded. And I so didn't like the glint in his eyes.

ELENA

Four days had passed since Damon had killed our attacker and learned the truth about Katherine. I had moved back into the dorm, given that Bonnie and I were no longer in danger – or at least not in that kind of danger. Alys was concerned about Damon's plans to free Katherine and possibly take revenge on Bonnie's family. Funnily enough, I wasn't. I knew Damon well enough now to know that he wouldn't murder my friend in cold blood for a crime she hadn't even committed.

Besides, Damon was suspiciously absent, even from campus. Whatever scheming and plotting he was doing, we weren't privy to it. He was probably busy robbing the members of the Founders' Council of their ancestors' journals and reading them all for a clue about how to open the tomb.

I only wished I could talk to Bonnie about this, but without unveiling the secret that vampires were roaming our world, I could neither tell her about Stefan nor about Damon's ominous plans to break a spell that was cast by her ancestor. So she and Caroline were blissfully unaware of the ongoings in the underworld, and much more concerned about things going on in Mystic Falls.

"I will definitely drive back home, tomorrow," Caroline informed us about her plans for the weekend. "A friend of Tyler's has come back from an extended trip to Europe and is throwing a party in the woods."

"What guy?"

"Klaus, Michael or something."

"Klaus Mikaelson?" Bonnie asked. "I know him. The guy's a total ass. A wealthy, sophisticated snob." Caroline shrugged. "Who cares – he buys the beer. Besides, Matt has asked me to come. It's a date."

"So, the two of you are dating now?" I asked. "Just how did that happen?"

"Well, he's actually a very sweet guy. A bit clumsy and rough around the edges, but he has a good heart. Too bad that his mother is such a failure at her job. Instead of being able to go to college and get a decent education, he has to work two jobs just to get by. And Vicky sure is no help either."

"Is that why you have suddenly become so studious and diligent?" Bonnie asked in amazement. She was thrilled about the change in Caroline that Bonnie attributed to getting out of Damon's influence. To her, it just went to prove that Damon was all bad news.

"Well, looking at things from Matt's perspective made me realize that it's not something you can take for granted, and that I should be grateful to have the chance. Besides, since all the fun things now tend to be happening back home on weekends, there's nothing better to do during the week than use the time for studying, anyway. Which brings me back to the topic of our plans: Are you coming to Michael's party with me?"

"It's Klaus Mikaelson," I corrected. "I thought it was supposed to be a date?"

"It still can be," Caroline smiled wickedly, "party first, private make-out session later." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Why not?" Bonnie asked, shrugging. "Just because a psychopathic killer was after us last time we partied doesn't mean we can't go to a party ever again. I'm sure Stefan will come if we ask him. He'll watch out for us."

"It's Mystic Falls, girls!" Caroline chided. "Nothing bad ever happens in Mystic Falls!"

*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*

The welcome-back party took place at a clearing in the woods that was a notorious partying spot. It was halfway between the old Pierces' and the Mikaelsons' property, and sufficiently distant from other residences. I remembered having been here a couple of times while still in high school. Just like back then, there was big bonfire in the middle of the clearing. Fallen tree trunks made for seating – for anybody who cared to have grilled marshmallows with their beers. The good thing about being in the woods was that no one had to clean up the mess when people got sick from it.

Someone had brought speakers, and music was blaring through the trees. Roughly estimated, there were about 60 people milling about. Either Klaus was still very popular, or people were here for the free beer.

The party was already in full swing when Stefan and I got there a little belatedly. We had left Greenville a little later than usual this afternoon, because I had wanted to finish a paper beforehand. As so often happens when in a rush already, we had been further delayed because I hadn't been able to find my phone. I had probably left it the pocket of another jacket, and with bad luck, it was still at the boarding house. We had finally left without it. I guess I could do without a mobile for two days – people used to live like that for ages, after all. Still, it felt weird.

Walking into the clearing, we immediately spotted Tyler, Matt and Caroline, who were in a group of people that I didn't know. Jeremy was there, too, and came over when he saw us.

"Hi! You finally made it. Caroline and Bonnie had been wondering if the two of you had bailed out. Drinks are there in the cooler, on the back of Matt's truck. Serve yourselves."

"I'll get that," Stefan offered. "You want a beer?" I nodded and he headed off.

"So – I take it you couldn't persuade Alys to come, huh?" Jeremy asked.

"Alys?" I asked back, wondering. "How come you're asking about her? She doesn't go to parties."

Jeremy shrugged. "We met in the library a couple of times. She helped me out with an English essay on poetry. She's pretty cool."

I eyed him in wonder. "Pretty cool?" Was it possible that my little step-brother was actually smitten with my friend, who just happened to be a 170 and something year old vampire?

He must have picked up on my reluctance. "Look – I know she's way older than me, but I really like her." Way older! That's one way to put it. He had no idea. "And I know she's not into partying, so you should be all the more pleased I've been hanging out with her. She is a role model, after all. So far, I've only been seeing her in sort of a work environment, except for that one dinner at our house. And I think it'd be good for her to get out of her shell a little. I mean, while I obviously overdid it with the partying, there's no harm in going out every once in a while with friends, right?"

Right. Yet another amazing turn of character. What had brought that about? Knowing that Alys neither could nor would use her manipulation powers on anyone, it was probably just due to the fact that he was outgrowing puberty. Looking at him now, I realized that he had changed in the last couple of months. He was already towering a head over me and must have started to work out. Never before had I noticed how muscular his arms were and how toned his chest was. He certainly didn't look like a kid anymore. When had that happened?

"Why do you keep looking at me like that? Would it be so bad if I actually asked her out?"

He wanted to date her? Wow – he definitely had some confidence if he thought that Alys might be interested. Yet, I couldn't deny having mixed feelings about it. There was the obvious age difference – him being in his last year of high school, she being a college student. But Jeremy had always had a thing for girls that were slightly older than him. But 170 years older?

"No. Maybe. I don't know, Jeremy. This is – unexpected. I hadn't even known that you guys were speaking to each other." Alys had never mentioned him. Was she afraid of my reaction or simply not finding him noteworthy? "Are you even sure she's into you like that?"

"No, I'm not. But I'd like to find out. I thought you could probably feel her out for me..."

"Okay..." I was going to have a talk with her anyway. Hopefully, she'd laugh. I liked Jeremy and felt protective of him. And I wasn't sure if I wanted him to date a vampire. We were experiencing a little too much of a supernatural influence on our lives already.

"Thanks, Elena. You know, you're pretty cool yourself. And by the way – I really like Stefan. You two make a nice couple." He winked at me and was off again. I sighed. Could things really get any more complicated?

Stefan came back with our beer, Caroline in tow. "I just met that Klaus-guy, awh!" she exclaimed, shuddering in exaggeration. "Can you believe it – he actually had the nerve to call me 'love'! Is that a usual British endearment or just a real creepy pick-up line? The guy has even acquired a fake accent in the year he's been over there. He sounds like Prince William – but he's got more hair. Admittedly, he's also pretty good-looking, but terribly blasé."

I rolled my eyes. "Sounds like someone we know..." Caroline grinned. "I have no idea who you might be talking about!"

"Where have you left Bonnie? I haven't seen her anywhere yet..."

"Haven't you just met up with her? She was here until recently – she said she got a text message from you and went looking for you."

I frowned and exchanged an uneasy glance with Stefan. "I sent her no message. I didn't even bring my phone."

"Hang on, I'll call her." Caroline pulled out her phone and speed-dialed Bonnie's number. "Bonnie? Where are you? Huh? What are you doing there?" She turned back to us, a deep crease on her forehead. "She's over at the ruins near the old Pierce's property. She said you had asked her to meet her there because you needed her help with something?"

"This is weird." I had a real bad feeling all of a sudden. Someone else must have used my phone to text her. And given that I had already lost it in Greenville, I had a fair idea who that someone was. "It's Damon." I said to Stefan. "It has to be." His expression mirrored my own concerns. He had already turned on his heels. "Come on, let's go! We'll get her."


	25. Friday Night Bites

ELENA

"Bonnie! Thank God! We thought we'd be too late." I felt immense relief when we found Bonnie waiting alone in the dark, and gave her a hug. She looked confused. "Too late – what do you mean? I came as soon as I received your message. Why did you ask to meet me here?"

"I didn't! It was Damon – he used my phone."

"Damon?" She frowned. "Why would he do that?" Before I could answer that, the sound of his voice made us all turn. "Because I need your expertise on something..." Damon said, appearing out of thin air and strolling over casually. He gave me and Stefan a displeased look. "What are the two of you doing here? You weren't invited!"

Bonnie's gaze quizzically went back and forth between us. "I don't understand. What's going on? I take it that none of you need my urgent help as the text message claimed?"

"No. That was a ruse. He stole my phone." I gave Damon an accusing look that he returned with a crooked smirk. "Sue me!"

"What do you want, Damon?" Stefan inquired, eying him suspiciously.

"I have business with Bonnie that is none of your concern. Go and take care of your own girl, Stefan!"

"You leave Bonnie alone!" Stefan moved protectively in front of her, trying to shield her from Damon's gaze.

"Well, isn't that charming!" Damon mocked. "Seems like you have a soft spot for the little witch... You surprise me, Stefan! Doesn't seem like you – hitting on two girls at the same time. I'm afraid you can't have both, though. And for the moment, I need to borrow Bonnie."

"That's unfortunate, because she's not going with you." Stefan's usually solemn face had taken on an expression of grim determination.

Though Bonnie was clearly at a loss about what was going on, she was fully aware of the rising tension in the air. "Would somebody please enlighten me as to what's going on here?" she demanded to know.

Damon gave her a look of feigned astonishment. "Haven't they let you in on the secret? How insulting – to hide such vital information from your best friend..." He paused, relishing in her confusion. Then he lowered his voice, giving it a fake conspirative note and a touch of drama. "See, Bonnie – what they have not been telling you is that I am – a vampire! So is Stefan, by the way. And right now, I very much want you to come with me, because I have some questions that require the expert opinion of a witch."

"It's about the tomb!" I said flatly, as his intentions became clear to me. "He wants to know how to open it so he can free Katherine."

"I see someone's been paying attention!" Damon smirked, briefly turning his gaze on me. "Now, that being cleared up, can we all get down to business?" Bonnie was obviously still trying to put the pieces together. Yet there was no sign of shock, fright or disbelief in her face, as surely should be the natural reaction. Either Damon had her already under some sort of mind control, or she was clearly better acquainted with the supernatural than I had thought.

"Vampires...," she echoed thoughtfully. "Yes, that clears it all up..." Her gaze flew back and forth between Stefan and Damon, who was trying to establish eye contact and beckoned to her. "Come over here, Sabrina!"

"Don't look at him, Bonnie!" I warned. "He's gonna use a mind compulsion on you and put you under his control!"

Stefan instantly grabbed her arm to make sure she wouldn't follow Damon's command. "No! He can't manipulate or compel her – witches are immune to mind powers."

"That is not entirely right," Damon corrected. "I just can't compel her by force, as you are fully aware since you already compelled her once yourself. And that's why I'm so kindly asking her to give herself over to me – voluntarily. And I won't ask nicely again!"

Stefan maintained his protective stance and refused to let go of Bonnie's arm. "She's not gonna help you with this, Damon."

"Yet I believe she will. She might just need some incentive." At that, Damon launched himself forward so fast that his movement almost went unnoticed. Except that I found myself with my back pressed to his chest before his last word had left his mouth. He was holding me immobile in an iron embrace; his hands shackling my wrists in front of me like bands of steel. My heart gave a jolt, and I wasn't entirely sure if it was fear or just his unexpected nearness that brought it on.

"Now, Bonnie, if you want to save your friend an unpleasant experience, just do what I asked you to – lower your shields and come over to me."

"You won't hurt Elena!" Stefan said firmly, but he didn't sound entirely convinced himself. Damon raised an eyebrow at him.

"Oh, and you're perfectly sure about that?" he asked almost casually. Yet there was an unmistakable menace in his tone, his muscles were tense and his hold unrelenting. Whatever it was that Damon wanted, he was clearly very determined to get it, no matter who or what stood in his way. He definitely succeeded in frightening me. My fear turned into outright panic when, all of a sudden, he pulled my wrist to his mouth and, without warning, forcefully sank his pointed teeth into my flesh.

I cried out, more from shock than from pain, although it was sharp and piercing. When he raised his head again seconds later, there was a hint of blood on his lips which he licked off, yet he showed no inclination to feed on me. With a part of my mind that was strangely detached from the rest of my adrenalin flooded brain, I realized that he still kept his fingers clamped like a tourniquet around my arm, a little above my wrist. He was effectively cutting off the blood flow, and I had a fair idea what that meant. My stomach sank and my knees went wobbly. Damon must have noticed, because he enforced his grip around my waist and prevented me from sliding to the ground.

"Now be a good girl, Bonnie, and come over here," Damon suggested in almost friendly tone. "You just do that, and I'll let go of your friend."

"You said I needed to give myself over voluntarily for your compulsion to work. How is this voluntarily – with you using Elena as leverage against me?" Bonnie asked, shaking.

"Don't worry, I'm sure the mind powers don't mind these little subtleties."

"Bonnie, no!" Stefan reached for her arm again when Bonnie made a move towards Damon. But his anguished gaze was on me. He looked like a man torn apart inside. He probably was.

"Don't scare her, Stefan!" Damon chided. "You know that she'll be perfectly safe with me – I need a living, human witch; killing or changing her doesn't gain me anything. Elena, on the other hand... Now, I wouldn't mind having a vampire girlfriend. Would you?"

"Let her go! We'll do whatever you want, but not before Elena is standing safely at my side!"

"You forget that I do not trust you. You'll have to make a choice, Stefan – you can't have both girls, surely you understand that."

"Bonnie, stay where you are!" I managed to croak, feeling dizzy. My hand was starting to prickle. "He's bluffing. He would never do this to me, I know." I could feel Damon's breath on my neck when he lowered his head to my ear. "Are you willing to bet the transiency of your life on it, Elena?" he asked almost softly. "I always knew you had a death wish, and now it's not even a secret one anymore." Turning back to Stefan and Bonnie, his voice became harsh again. "See, Bonnie, you have to take a decision here: whether you think I'm ruthless enough to taint Elena's blood and risk her becoming infected – or if I am indeed only bluffing. But if you decide wrong, the vampire community will welcome a new member before the night is over."

Bonnie looked shaken. "I don't understand – what did you do to her?"

"He bit her with his fangs and most likely injected his venom," Stefan explained tonelessly. "As soon as he releases his grip on her arm, it will pass into her bloodstream and start the change. Or kill her – with all of her blood still in her system."

"Oh, but you can prevent that, Stefan," Damon helpfully pointed out. "All you have to do is to suck it out in time. That should be fairly easy, given that I only bit her wrist, which will keep the venom out of her bloodstream a little longer. Last time, when Elena got bitten in the neck, I had to drain most of her blood in order to get it out. Now, Bonnie, your friend here clings to the belief that there's good in everybody, even in a vampire – Stefan on the other hand definitely doesn't. You have to decide, and be fast about it – I can't keep her hand cut off from circulation forever."

"I don't trust you," Bonnie said, her voice grave.

Damon's cheerful answer only fit for the meaning, not for the tone. "I'm really glad to hear that! Now..." He slightly moved his head to indicate where he wanted Bonnie to go. Freeing herself from Stefan's hold with a regretful glance, she silently obeyed.

Damon took my other hand and positioned it to replace his own. "Just keep up the pressure, until he has it all sucked out." Then, almost gently and somewhat reluctantly, released me from of his restraining embrace. For a moment, I could feel his breath in my hair and his supporting hand lingering on my back – steadying my first stumbling steps until I was out of his reach and safely caught in Stefan's arms.

"Now, you take care of her, while Bonnie and I take a little walk. I hope for Elena's sake that you'll be able to overcome your principles. In any case, you'd better stay here until we're back." With that, he led Bonnie off, heading for the chapel ruins.

Stefan's face was tortured as he took hold of my arm and looked at the two puncture marks. "You don't have to do this," I said through clenched teeth, still keeping my blood from circulating. My hand was ice-cold and almost numb by now. "I still don't believe he really did it."

"If I have to choose how to risk your life, I'd rather trust myself to not lose control than to ever put trust in Damon," Stefan said, pulling my injured hand close and holding it tight. His voice sounded firm, yet I could sense the fear in it: Fear for my life, fear his control might not hold, and fear of the consequences that might result from opening Pandora's chest. With a look of determination, Stefan put my wrist to his mouth and I felt his lips close painfully on my bruised skin. When he first started sucking, there was hardly any sensation – except for the pulling and the warmth. Then it felt as if my hand was being put under vacuum. Totally emptied of blood, my veins had probably collapsed. Stefan slowly released his grip on the artery to let the blood flow into my hand again, that was when the real pain set it. I remembered how it felt to come back into the house after playing in the snow for hours, and then putting almost frozen fingers under warm water. It hurt like thousand needles pricking into my skin, the feeling lasting longer than Stefan kept up the suction.

When he finally let go, he more or less pulled himself away from me, putting some distance between us and turning his back on me. I could see that he was shaking, breathing heavily, clamping his hands into a tree trunk. He held on desperately, until his knuckles were white, trying to cope with whatever was tormenting him. Bloodlust, I supposed, a long dormant hunger now forcefully awakened and attacking his senses.

I didn't dare to move, afraid to fuel his need by sending my scent his way. Cautiously, I pulled my sleeve down to cover the wound that was still bleeding. For what seemed like an eternity, none of us moved.

When Stefan finally seemed to relax somewhat, I let out a breath, only now realizing that I had been holding it. "Are you okay?" I timidly asked, feeling an urge to embrace him for comfort, but not daring to.

"I'm not sure if 'okay' is the adequate term to describe how this feels..." he murmured. "But at least I think I can handle it, for the moment. What about you?"

"Slightly dizzy, but I guess that's normal after being fed from. Not as bad as the last time, though. What are we going to do about Damon and Bonnie?"

"I'm afraid there isn't much we can do – without putting her in danger."

"He's not gonna hurt her," I tried to reassure him, but Stefan only snorted. "Yeah, like I'm gonna believe that after what he just did!"

"He's not all evil. He's just trying to do everything he can to get Katherine back."

"How can you still defend him, after everything he did to Caroline? To Vicky? Or to Alys, as for that matter. Damon clearly doesn't care about anybody but himself. He needs to be stopped!"

I kept silent. There was something wild and aggressive about Stefan just now – probably an effect of the blood. In any case, his current state clearly called for caution and appeasement. Defending Damon's actions didn't seem the right way to achieve that.

"We'll deal with it..." I said calmly. "Bonnie is going to be fine." At least, I was very much hoping for that.

The minutes dripped by with neither of us talking. Stefan was careful to keep his distance, and I was feeling strangely lonely without him at my side. It seemed like an eternity until Damon reappeared – alone. Anxious, I jumped to my feet.

"Where is Bonnie? What have you done to her?"

"No worries, she's fine – or at least, she will be. Someone better take her home, though. She needs some rest." Stefan and I exchanged a short look, and I nodded to him, silently telling him to go. It'd be easier for him to take care of Bonnie. At least, she wasn't bleeding.

Damon didn't care much for keeping a safe distance. He came over to me and reached for my arm again. Pushing my sleeve back, he dubiously looked at my wrist.

"Looks like I finally got Stefan to feed on something of substance...," he muttered, taking note of the fact that I was still bleeding.

"How can you be so smug about it?" I asked, forcefully trying to tear free of his hold. Yet Damon held tight. "Actually, I think I did him a favor," he said, biting into his palm and pressing his slightly bleeding hand to my wrist. "It was high time for him to face who he is. Now that he's had a taste of human blood, there's hope he'll come round."

"Doing that to him is simply disgusting, even for you."

"Funny that you should be complaining about that – without even mentioning what I did to you. You've really got some nerves, Elena!"

"I know that you don't give a damn about Stefan. But you're not gonna make me believe for a second that what you did to me was for real. Not after all the pains you went through to save me from that fate just weeks before."

"Ah, but that was different."

"How so?"

Damon stared at me for a moment, his eyes burning with a fire from deep within. "Vampires are always, on some deep level, bound to their creators – the vampire who made them," he said, pausing a moment to let the meaning sink in. "Maybe I simply wouldn't have you blood-bonded with some jerk who tried to make a roadside kill of you. But maybe I wouldn't mind so much having you bonded to me..."

Yes. No matter if his heart was still with Katherine, I knew without a doubt that he meant it. Yet, I shook my head as a realization hit me: "No. That's not it. It might be the venom that carries the virus, but it was still your blood that kept me alive last time; your blood that would have helped me live me through the change if it had come to that. If you wanted me bound to you, you could've had that already."

"Well, looks like you're never gonna know that for sure!" he said lightly, his expression unreadable. With a wink he let go of my arm and turned to leave.

"Damon?"

He halted briefly, only half-turning his head. I was unable to see his face. "Was Bonnie able to give you the answers you desired?"

He hesitated. "Not exactly the one I wished for," he finally said with an unusual somber tint in his voice, before he set out going again, vanishing in the dark.

BONNIE

I woke from sleep with a start, and the memories from last night came flooding back. I remembered everything – until the somewhat fuzzy moment where I had suddenly felt my eyes go weary and my limbs heavy. The last thing that had registered with me was Damon catching me and lowering me to the ground when my legs gave in. I don't even know how I got home.

I sat up and switched the light on, and was surprised to find Elena beside me in my bed, curled up on her side and in one of my PJ's. My alarm clock read 3:15. Okay – so I had definitely missed out on a couple of hours.

Disturbed by the sudden light, Elena stirring and opened her eyes. "Bonnie – you're awake!" she said, coming to her senses a little quicker than I had. "Are you okay?"

"I guess I am – though I wouldn't know for sure." I rubbed my forehead, feeling a little fuzzy. "How did I get home?"

"Stefan carried you out of the tomb and we both brought you back. Do you remember what happened?"

"Most of it, I think..."

"You were thoroughly knocked out. It's good that your house is a one storey, otherwise we wouldn't have managed to get you in without your grams noticing. Stefan was unable to enter the house for some weird reason, so he had to lift you in through your window."

"How did you get in?"

"Through the back door, with the hidden spare key. Honestly, getting you from the windowsill to your bed was an ordeal, although it's right next to it. I had never guessed that a slightly framed girl like you could be so heavy to move when unconscious."

"Gee – thanks!" I said, feeling a little regret at having missed out on that. Especially the part where Stefan had carried me all the way from the tomb to his car. Obviously, I had not been too heavy for him. What can I say, I'm a girl, and a sucker for romance and chivalry. I focused my attention back on Elena. "Why did you stay here?"

"Well, we were a little concerned... Damon said that you were gonna be alright, but we didn't know if he had taken away your memories. We figured you'd be most likely waking up with tons of questions, and thought someone had better be here to answer them."

"Okay, then – spill!" I said, sitting up straight and propping my back against the headboard. The last hours felt like a strange dream, though an awfully realistic one. "Did Damon really bite you and threaten to turn you into a creature of the night?"

"Well, we're not entirely decided on that," Elena said dubiously. "Stefan believes that he actually did it, whereas I – don't."

Interesting. I filed that information away for further investigation. "So – Damon, he really is a vampire?"

"Yes. They both are."

"I see." That was all I could think of saying for the moment. It made an awful lot of sense now. A lot of things did. Elena still looked dubious. "Are you alright? I mean, you sound awfully okay with it – like you just learned he's gay or something."

"Gay? Damon? – Now, that really would have made me doubt my instincts! But vampires... it's not like I haven't ever heard of them. And I'm not talking teenager romance or TV series. Grams has told me that there are more creatures walking this planet than what is commonly believed. Again, it seemed silly at the time – I was even struggling to come to grips with being a witch. As to Stefan and Damon – there was something really off with them, something that triggered my supernatural alarm bells, but I never thought of vampires! Now, at least, my world is back in perspective: All systems are working properly."

"Well, maybe I shouldn't be surprised. You are a witch after all, so probably vampires and such are not supposed to scare you. It sure scared the hell out of me when I found out."

"Do you remember when I first met Stefan in the Grill? When I took his hand and had that vision about a tomb..."

"Of course," Elena said, "it was pretty freaky at the time. You said you had seen a grave. Since I had met Stefan at the cemetery for the first time, I thought that was what you were seeing."

I shook my head. "It was his grave I saw," I said, still having an eerie feeling when thinking of it. "It had his name on it. And that had really freaked me out – it seemed like I was having a death vision. How could I have known he was already dead at the time?"

Again, Elena gave me that peculiar look – as if there was more to it, something she hadn't told me yet. "What?" I demanded to know.

"Well, technically, vampires aren't dead. They come close to death when they are turned, and when that happened to Stefan, he was officially declared dead. They even had a funeral for him – except there was only an empty coffin. I had no idea at the time..."

"You had no idea at the time?" I echoed stupidly. "Whatever does that mean?" But as soon as the words had left my mouth, something started to dawn on me. It couldn't be. Could it? Elena took a deep breath. "The name, on the tombstone? I bet it wasn't Stefan. It was Steve. As in Steve Gilbert."

I was thunderstruck. "Your brother's grave...? Stefan is your brother Stevie? The one who died when we were seven?" Elena nodded, looking guilty. "I'm so sorry for not having told you earlier. I didn't know myself, for a long time, and when I did, Stefan begged me not to tell anybody."

Stefan was Stevie. For various reasons, this came more as a shock than learning that both of them were vampires. And it made so much more sense. Those unsettling feelings that I had kept hidden all of this time, the familiarity I felt between us and my guilty conscience for pining after my best's friends boyfriend... I always had been.

"I was in love with him," I admitted, confessing my childhood crush that had miraculously survived the years. Curiously, all I felt now was relief. He wasn't her boyfriend – he was her brother, and he was alive!

Elena seemed thunderstruck, so I hastened to elaborate. "I had a crush on him ever since the day you and I played basketball in your backyard, do you remember? It was the summer before he died. Jimmy Jenkings, that stupid neighbor's kid – he was such a mean boy – had climbed over the fence and taken our ball. He had pushed me hard, too, and I had fallen and bruised my knee. It was bleeding badly, my trousers were ruined and it hurt so much... that's when your brother came to our defense. He soothed me, put a band-aid on it and promised everything would be alright. Then he pulled Jimmy's ears and gave him a lecture he most likely still remembers today. He was so cool."

Elena looked at me flabbergasted. "You still remember that? God – that was like a lifetime ago."

"How could I forget? He had been my hero ever since. I can't believe I didn't recognize him."

"Well, he was my brother, and even I didn't have an inkling about who he was – until he told me. Appearances change with the turning. And we were mere kids back then..."

"Yes, but something in me must have recognized him." I shifted uncomfortably, not sure how to continue, avoiding her gaze. Even if it turned out that it was okay to feel what I had felt about Stefan all these weeks – it still felt like I had been cheating on my best friend.

"Because you're still in love with him," Elena finished the sentence. I nodded. Obviously, I had not been as good at hiding my totally unacceptable feelings as I had thought. I felt myself blush and averted my gaze.

"Oh my God," Elena breathed, an anguished look on her face. "I can only guess what you must have felt like all this time." She moved closer and pulled me into her embrace. "I'm so sorry, Bonnie. I did have my suspicions, lately, but... I was so taken up with everything that I didn't really push to find out if they held any truth. I tried to tell you that Stefan was just my friend, but you didn't really believe me. The truth is that our relationship had felt more like a sibling relationship from the beginning." Elena wiped tears from her eyes now, which made my own eyes water in sympathy. "Bonnie – I'll be the happiest person in the world if you continue to love him, especially now... if your feelings don't change because of what he is."

"A dark one," I murmured, just voicing what was going through my head. Elena withdrew a little and gave me a questioning glance. "That's what witches used to call vampires," I explained. "Because blood magic is black magic, and using blood to feed their powers is what they do. There has always been hatred between witches and vampires."

"Stefan isn't like that! He doesn't even take blood from humans, and he only did it tonight to save my life. He's been living on animal blood all this time."

"I didn't say that I thought of him in that way. On the contrary – he's the most decent guy I know. I already loved him when I was seven. And I guess I still do."

That made her smile. "I'm really happy about that. Because quite obviously, Stefan greatly cares about you, too."

"Grams would have a fit."

"Don't tell her. In fact, you mustn't tell anybody. Damon doesn't know."

"Wait a minute... Damon has no clue that Stefan is your brother?" I frowned. This wasn't right. "But keeping it from him – letting him believe that Stefan is your boyfriend... isn't that doing to him what it did to me?"

"Damon?" Elena protested, a little too defensively. "He's not in love with me!"

I gave her a dubious look. "No? And you know that for sure? Then tell me, what's this thing between you and Damon?"

Elena hunched her shoulders. "I don't know. I'm not even sure if there is a thing."

"Oh, believe me: There is! A blind man could see that with a stick."

Elena shifted uncomfortably. "I guess we have – an understanding," she said after a brief pause.

"You're in love with him," I noted, very sure about it, even if she obviously wasn't. At least she didn't deny it. I carefully controlled my expression. I didn't want to appear like I was judging. But how anybody, especially Elena, could be smitten with Damon was beyond me. She wasn't one to get blinded by good looks and charms – not like Caroline. She was deeper than that. So what did she see in him that even his own sister did not?

"He doesn't believe in love," Elena said. "At least not anymore."

"Does that by chance have anything to do with the girl – Katherine – he so desperately wants to get out of that tomb?"

"It's all about Katherine," Elena sighed, and told me the whole story: Damon, Katherine, Mystic Falls' vampire problem and the inglorious part another Bennett witch had played in it.

"For someone who doesn't believe in love, Damon seems to be going to a lot of pains to get the girl back," I remarked, wondering if I had been wrong about my assumption that Damon had a thing for Elena. Why would he be trying to get his ex-girlfriend back if he did?

"It might not be love that's driving him," Elena mused somewhat gloomily.

Suppressing a yawn was hardly a fitting reaction, but I couldn't help it. It was a lot to take in, and my brain was slowly starting to feel like a cotton ball in my head. Small wonder. It was almost a quarter past four in the morning.

"I'm sorry, Elena, I think we'll have to continue this talk tomorrow. I'm not able to process any of this right now. Let's get try to get some sleep. It was a freaky night."

"One in a row of many..." Elena muttered, as we snuggled back under the covers and switched off the light.

ELENA

We were pulled from sleep by the persistent beeping of Bonnie's phone, which she finally managed to locate in the jeans that I had taken off her when putting her to bed. "It's Stefan," she said, obviously not sure whether she should pick up right now. It was most likely going to be a longer talk, and we hadn't even finished last night's.

But Stefan was probably out of his mind with worry. "Talk to him," I said, swinging my legs out of bed. "He deserves to know that you're okay – about everything. I'll take a shower in the meanwhile."

Purposely taking my time, I re-emerged from the bathroom about half an hour later. Bonnie had just finished her call. She smiled. Good. So obviously, that had gone well. I guessed it would take some time to define their relationship now, and work through all the supernatural issues.

"About last night..." I said, sitting down next to Bonnie on the bed again. "You never got around to telling me what exactly Damon wanted from you, which appears to be crucial information..."

"He wanted me to open the tomb underneath the chapel, of course."

"And?"

"And nothing." Bonnie shrugged. "I couldn't. It was magically sealed. You'd have to know exactly how it was done in order to open it. Which I don't. It's pretty easy to cast a spell, but a totally different thing to reverse one, and I'm not even an accomplished witch yet. Besides, a spell like that asks for way more power than I have – more than any witch has, in fact."

"And that's what you told Damon?"

"Yes. It was strange – I couldn't tell him anything but the truth, and he kept asking for details."

"That's because he compelled you to, and it's not against your nature to be truthful. At least he did not erase your memories. Or did he?"

Bonnie frowned. "I'm not sure. My recollection of the night does get a little fuzzy towards the end."

"Did you see a raven?" I asked as the thought hit me.

"No – why are you asking?"

"Nothing. Forget about it." I had only seen the freaky bird whenever Damon had erased himself from my memory. But he hadn't obviously done that with Bonnie, given that she remembered talking to him.

"So how did he take the fact that you couldn't do anything about it?"

"Not kindly. He got angry at first, then didn't say anything for a while, just stood there, pensively. That's about the last thing I remember. I felt awfully tired all of a sudden, as if his questioning had been making me weary."

"I wonder why that is..." I said, pondering the question. We were definitely missing out on something. "I don't have a good feeling about this. I can't believe he's going to give up on this so easily."

Bonnie shrugged. "He'll have to accept it. Without knowing how the original spell was cast and what was used to bind it, even having access to power wouldn't help. I guess when Emily put Katherine in there, she really wanted to make sure that she stayed put."


	26. Disturbing Behavior

ELENA

The new week started anything but smoothly. Too many things were still unsettled and waiting to be dealt with. Firstly, there was this non-relationship between Bonnie and Stefan. Given that they had both admitted how they felt about each other to me, I'd expected them to have their talk and be riding off happily into the sunset by now. Yet they weren't.

Stefan was behaving funny, and it was getting worse as the week went on. He almost seemed to be avoiding both of us, and I found it hard to believe that he had that much work to do all of a sudden. Besides, who cared – it's not like there was any time pressure on him to get done with college – I knew by now that he had already majored in Economics and in Chemistry, so his whole being here was just pretense.

Determined to get an explanation for his strange behavior, I went to see him in his room, not bothering to knock and wait for permission for fear he'd either pretend not to be in or send me away again.

Seeing him with the petite brunette in what almost seemed like a compromising situation at first glance stopped me dead in my tracks. On second glance, I saw that the girl who was standing with her back against the wall was in our biology class and that this was clearly not a romantic setting.

"Stefan? What's going on here?" I asked, taken aback at the scene in front of me. I had no idea what Amy Bradley was doing in his room. Certainly, she had not expected to find herself cornered by her much taller and right now very menacing classmate, who looked like he was ready to pounce on her any second. He probably was. His gaze was transfixed on her neck, his eyes glassy, as if he was in trance. Amy, who held a stack of books pressed to her chest, looked scared and confused.

At the sound of my voice, Amy looked up, relief in her face. She made a move in my direction, but she didn't get far. Only now I did I see that Stefan was holding her wrist in a tight grip. It looked painful.

"What are you doing? Let her go!" He still gave no sign that my words had even registered with him. "Stefan, do you hear me?" I repeated more forcefully and crossed the room to pull at his arm. 'Let. Her. Go!' The physical contact seemed to tear him out of his trance, but not in a way I had expected.

"No!" he roared, shoving me forcefully away from him. A bit too forcefully, as I flew into the drawers and sent a lamp crashing to the floor. For a moment, the shock of seeing him act this aggressively and the force of the impact knocked the wind out of me.

Stefan seemed shocked, too. Obviously, he hadn't anticipated his own reaction either. He immediately let go of Amy's arm, who rushed to my side to help me up. "Oh my God, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

"I'm so sorry!" Stefan gulped. "I shouldn't have.. I don't know what got into me.." I carefully avoided his gaze for the moment, afraid of what he might see in my eyes. It was more important to deal with Amy. "What about you? Are you alright? What happened?"

Nervously, Amy threw a glance at Stefan. "I honestly don't know. I came here to borrow some books, and we talked, everything was fine – until all of a sudden, Stefan started giving me this weird look and didn't react to anything I said anymore... it really freaked me out."

"I'm sorry!" Stefan repeated, sounding contrite. But his voice was also tense, and his hand, raking through his hair and betraying his upheaval, was trembling ever so slightly. "I didn't mean to scare you, Amy." Yet the fact that he was pacing nervously back and forth like a caged animal and still looked tense did nothing to calm either of us.

His eyes shifted back and forth between us, clearly perturbed by something. I thought I saw the same torn expression in his face that I had seen last Friday – first, when he'd had to choose between protecting me or Bonnie, and second, when he'd realized he'd have to bite me to undo any damage Damon might have done. He looked like he was going to lose it any second. I needed to get Amy out of here, fast.

"It's the medication he's taking..." I quickly said the first thing that came to my mind as an explanation. "He's been having migraines, and the doctor gave him this prescription. In rare cases, it can make people just blank out like that... We'll have to get something different, I guess..."

"Yes, you better..." Amy murmured, throwing a last suspicious glance at Stefan when I gently moved her to the door.

"I'll take care of it, don't worry. It won't happen again."

She left the room and I closed the door, exhaling deeply. "Something tells me that the poor girl just made a very narrow escape... Please tell me that you weren't about to feed on her!"

"I wasn't! I mean, I surely was never intending to... It's just that... she was standing very close and her scent was so intense. And all of a sudden, I couldn't concentrate on anything else but... No!" His hand shot up in a warning gesture when I made a move towards him. "Don't come near me!"

The fact that he was almost shouting and the horror in his face made me halt. "Stefan – what's the matter? You're scaring me..."

"I know. I'm sorry. It's just that I can't tolerate any more of it right now..."

Any more of it? And then the pieces fell together. Her scent. My scent – the scent of human blood.

"It's my blood that did it to you, isn't it?" I asked, realizing what this was about. "Tasting it again after such a long time – it rekindled your appetite and now you're having trouble keeping yourself under control..." I suddenly wished that Damon was here, if only to be able to kick his ass for putting Stefan through this.

"Everything is so much more intense..." he murmured, his voice betraying how overwhelming this all was to him. "My head is pounding. I feel like my skin is on fire. I have this hunger inside of me that just won't go away, and all I keep thinking about is how I promised myself that I wouldn't even think of human blood ever again. And I don't want to you to see me like this, I don't want you to know that this side of me exists. I tried so hard to keep it together all this time, and it was working. It was working!"

The pain in his voice was hurting me more than my back, which would probably be purple by tomorrow. I shoved the thought of how Stefan had hurled me through the room to the very back of my mind. "And it will work again," I said firmly, trying to sound encouraging, as much for my own sake as for his. It was obviously working.

"Yes..." Stefan agreed, "you're right. It's only been a few days..." He stopped pacing and seemed to calm down. "I probably just need to lay low for a little while and let my body readjust."

"Have you talked to Alys about it?" I gently asked, a bit confused by his rather sudden mood swing.

"No," he admitted, contrite again. "I felt too ashamed. It shouldn't be such a big deal. She's resisting this pull all the time, too. I shouldn't be so weak."

"Alys is about 140 years older than you. I'm sure she'll understand. Stefan, you're gonna get through this, we're gonna help you pull through. It's gonna be okay."

As much as I was hoping that this was true, two days later I wasn't so positive about it anymore. Though Stefan wouldn't admit it, animal blood no longer entirely curbed his cravings. He was constantly hungry – and edgy. Yet he refused the bags of human blood that Alys offered him, insisting that he would get over it eventually. He wanted to ride it out. After all, it had worked for all the years before this, and it simply had to work again. He also still refused to see me or Bonnie – we were obviously even harder for him to resist than Amy or any other girl on campus, because our scent was either familiar and comforting or especially alluring.

Alys was at a loss. "I don't know what to do anymore. He's obviously having blood issues, and that's definitely a reason for concern."

"Blood issues?" I echoed. That didn't sound good.

"Human blood does something to you that animal blood doesn't: It enhances your senses. He must be much more aware of people now – their smell, their warmth, their heartbeats... It's probably overwhelming, given that he has been on a strict 'vegan' diet for a very long time now."

"But it was only once, and not even that much... shouldn't any effect it had on him have worn off by now?"

"Probably... I don't know. You might want to ask Elijah. Or Damon. I bet he had a pretty good idea about what would happen."

And just so, my unresolved issue with Damon was back on my plate. I hadn't seen him since Friday night, and honestly, hadn't felt like seeing him. But now, having to deal with the possible consequences of his actions, I was getting thoroughly pissed at him. Alys was right: Damon had known exactly what he was doing to Stefan – he had even told me so. I simply hadn't thought that it could be really this bad. It was my fault that, once again, I hadn't entirely believed him.

By the end of the week, when there was still no sign of improvement in Stefan's demeanor, I decided I'd had enough. He needed help, desperately. And there was only one person who had the ability as well as the moral obligation to give him that.

*'*'*'*'*

Nobody answered the door on my repeated knocking, but since I could hear loud music from inside the boarding house, I knew Damon had to be in. I tried the door and found it unlocked.

"Damon?" I called, not meaning to intrude on him. There was definitely someone in the living room, where the music came from. Even though it had sounded like he was throwing a party, I hadn't expected to find that he really was, else I would never have burst in like that. I immediately wished I hadn't.

Damon wasn't alone. There were three girls with him – one lying on the sofa as if knocked out, the other two dancing around with bottles in hand. Neither of them was fully dressed. The dark one was only wearing her jeans with a bra, the other looked like she hadn't been dressed in much to begin with. It was hard to tell if part of her outfit was already missing or if it was supposed to be that scarce. Damon's shirt was completely unbuttoned, baring his chest, which, as I realized despite being dumbfounded, was quite a sight.

He was dancing, too, only taking notice of me when a move turned him in my direction. He came to a dead stop, clearly surprised at my sudden appearance in his living room. If he was equally embarrassed – which conceivably he wasn't – he had managed to mask it quickly. "Elena!" he greeted me with one of his annoyingly smug smiles. "What a surprise! I haven't seen you in a while..."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to barge in!" I said, flustered and momentarily unable to cope with the situation. "The door was open..." I pointed back to the hallway, only realizing now that it wasn't anymore.

"Well, come in, then!" Damon suggested, as if I wasn't already standing in his living-room, feeling silly and awkward. He turned down the music, caught the still dancing girls, who were clearly oblivious to my intrusion, by their arms and whispered something into their ears. Whatever he had said made them smile. One leaned in for a quick but definitely deep kiss, the other pouted and gave me a pointed glance before passing me on her way upstairs. That's when I saw the bite marks on her – one on the inner side of her elbow and another one on her throat. Damon checked on the girl who was lying on the sofa, shaking her slightly by the shoulders. She bore marks, too. When she didn't show any reaction, Damon shrugged. "Don't mind her," he said dismissively, "she won't be up within the next couple of hours."

Without bothering to button up his shirt, he poured himself a drink and pointed question ingly to the glass in his hand. I wordlessly declined, trying not to stare at his naked torso, which looked like something ancient Greek, skillfully carved out of marble. I briefly wondered why this should have an unnerving effect on me – except for the fact that it clearly shouted 'vampire!' at my face. No mere human could ever look like this without spending every waking minute in a fitness studio, molding and toning his body.

"So – what brings you here?" Damon inquired, almost in a conversational manner. "I thought you'd never dare to come near me again."

"Why not?" I asked lightly, still trying to regain composure, but not willing to let it show. He gave me a meaningful glance and lowered his voice. "Because last time I saw you, I scared you to death."

Well, he had a point there. Yet I shook my head in denial. "I wasn't scared," I claimed, but Damon was not one to be fooled.

"Yes, you were..." he insisted, and turned the full intensity of his gaze on me. Leaning slightly closer he gave his voice an even darker tint: "I could smell the fear on you!"

"Don't put on that bad-boy act again!" I said, narrowing my eyes. I simply refused to be intimidated by his words, his looks or his posture. "I don't buy it."

Damon's left eyebrow rose skeptically. He clearly wasn't convinced by my demonstration of confidence. "You definitely bought it then," he remarked, sounding smug. I raised my chin challengingly. "So – you're admitting that it was all an act?" I still refused to believe that he really had injected me with his venom and risked turning me into a vampire without my consent.

Damon frowned. "I'm not admitting anything!" he said, a bit defensively, though. "You're asking silly questions again. No matter what I say, it'll still come down to believing or not believing me." He put his glass down and came nearer, purposely invading my private space to put my confidence to the test. I shifted uncomfortably, which made his mouth twitch. "Talking about you, though," he said close to my ear as if confiding a secret, "I do believe this sudden show of bravery to be an act."

I braced myself and held my ground. "Well, maybe I was scared," I admitted, deciding that honesty was probably the best course to sail. "But I'm not anymore." Fortunately, this came out as firmly as I meant it, and I was able to hold his gaze. Either that or my bold assertion seemed to fascinate him. "Now – why would that be?" he asked with piqued interest.

"Because – counting yesterday, you could have killed me, changed me, compelled me or fed on me about a hundred times. Yet you didn't. And I guess that means that there's something that's keeping you from violating my will."

Damon held my gaze, and I couldn't help noticing again how incredibly blue his eyes were. "I hurt you," he reminded me, purposefully calling to my attention what he was capable of and contradicting even the insinuation that there might be anything trustworthy in him.

"Yes." There was no denying that, and I knew we weren't talking about merely physical pain. "But I understand why you did it. And no lasting harm was done."

"It could have been," he insisted, "if Stefan had messed it up."

I shook my head. "You knew he wouldn't. So stop trying to convince me that you're all evil. I know you aren't."

"You're amazing," Damon said then, sounding as if he actually meant it. "Why are you trying so hard to find something good even in my worst acts?"

I felt more confident now. "Maybe because you're trying so hard to hide it."

"I'm not hiding anything. Others have looked before, and came up empty."

"Like who?"

"My father. My little sister. Basically everyone I've ever come across." God help me – somehow I had managed to drill a hole into his walls, for this came out with a hint of badly concealed bitterness – and hurt.

"Katherine, too?" I wondered. "She must have found something in you that she loved..."

"Yes – but she loved only the dark parts: Everything that was devilish about me."

"So you think you need to be devilish in order to be loved? Or is it just to keep people from getting too close?" I knew when I said it that I had ruined it – not that it wasn't true, but too blunt and too obvious. I could've bitten my tongue.

"Oh, don't give me that crappy psycho-shit about childhood trauma and such!" Damon promptly replied, rolling his eyes. "Surely, you're above throwing around such cheap clichés as that!"

Still, there was nothing wrong with my argument. "Actually, there's a reason for things to become a cliché," I pointed out. "It's because they happen frequently."

He couldn't argue with that, so he simply let it pass without comment. Instead, he tried to bring the discussion to a dead end by summing up the facts as he saw them: "I've been who I am since even before I got changed, and I haven't changed in the last 162 years."

I guess some of my amusement at his slightly confused explanation must have shown on my face, for he seemed irritated. "Just what are you laughing about?"

"Nothing." I quickly sobered. What I definitely didn't want to do right now was to upset him. "You know, people can never change who they were. But they can always change who they will be."

"Are you lecturing me?" he asked, incredulous.

"Do you need to be lectured?" I countered in a friendly voice.

Damon obviously had no clue what to make of that. "I told you before: You're not going to make a better vampire of me, just in case you thought of giving it a try," he said firmly, trying to get a grip on the conversation again. "So if you're here for an apology, you clearly came to the wrong address."

"I'm not. Actually, I came here for help."

"You're coming to me for help?" Damon echoed. Apparently, he found the idea pretty ridiculous.

"Yes. For Stefan."

His bewildered expression turned into a sardonical frown. "Sure. What can I do for him? Give him some advice on style and hairdo? Teach him how to be funny? Take him to the zoo so he can add something wild and exotic to his diet?" He switched back to irony – just like he always did when a topic became somewhat disconcerting.

"I'm worried about him. He says he's doing okay, but he's clearly been struggling after what happened. He has locked himself into his room since Saturday night, and has hardly ever come out. He's missing classes. I tried to talk to him, but he refuses to see me."

Damon knew immediately what I was talking about. Blood issues. "Well, that's probably wise," he said, emptying his glass and turning his back on me to get a refill. "It'll would be awfully hard for him not to jump on you if you got through the door."

"I need to understand what's happening to him, and there is no one else I can ask. Why is it so hard on him? You don't have any problems staying in control."

"Does is seem like that to you?" He set the crystal decanter down again and furrowed his brows. "Elena – if you had any idea how hard it sometimes is for me to stay in control, you'd never come near me."

"You always manage just fine."

"Well, I never denied the vampire in me its rights, whereas Stefan is taking great pains to step out of harm's way and avoid temptation. But temptation can't be avoided. It just turns up when you least expect it, and then it needs a great deal of practice to be able to resist it. It's always hardest in the beginning."

"Why?"

"Because the urge is strong in newly created vampires, especially in the years following the change."

"Was it ever difficult for you?"

"Of course it was – how could it not be?" I was surprised he freely admitted to that, even if it came out slightly aggressive and was followed by a warning. "But don't let yourself believe that I'm only a victim of my urges, or that I feel regret for what I did. I'm not, and I don't feel remorse. I killed plenty of people in those first years. I was soldier in the war, and I was used to killing. Except that after the change, I used different weapons. I didn't mind killing my enemies, and doing it like vampires do, it was exhilarating."

"You enjoyed killing?" That shocked me a bit. I had guessed it was a necessity, something vampires didn't feel guilty about. But relishing in killing... that was just cruel.

"Sure I did! We are predators by nature – the excitement of a hunt, the adrenalin that comes with the chase, the fright of your victim and the power of killing – it's beyond description. But in the beginning, when you're still close to your humanity, you try to justify your killings. During the war, that was easy – you had to kill the enemy. When it was over, I realized how much harder it was to kill if you didn't really have a motive for taking a life – except for your hunger. For a while, I only attacked people who deserved it..."

"Like those guys that had attacked me?"

"Yes. Sometimes, people make very clear what they are by their actions – believe me, you would have agreed with most of my choices: A stalker following a young girl into a dark alley, an abusive father or husband, someone manhandling his servants..."

"You were feeding on men, then? I thought you were only after females..."

"I can live equally well on the blood of both genders. Like I said, at that time, I was after the miscreants, and those happen to be mostly male. It was just getting awfully hard to find a murderer or rapist every time I was hungry, so that wasn't a long term solution. With time and with practice, I acquired a certain control over my urges – I knew my body, I recognized the stirring before it got out of control. You have to understand: those are hungers that can't wait to be sated. If you suppress them, they only get worse, more powerful and all-consuming. I found out that by giving my body what it was craving as soon as the need arose, I didn't necessarily have to kill."

"So that's when you started seducing women to become your dinner?"

"Oh, I didn't seduce them solely for that – I was learning fast to combine the necessary with the agreeable." Another naughty smirk. I hunched my shoulders. "So – basically you're saying that becoming a predatory version of Casanova is the only way to live if you don't want to go round killing people?"

"No. I'm just saying it's the nicest way, in my opinion."

"I doubt that Stefan would want to live like that."

"Yeah," Damon said, disdain in his voice, "I doubt that, too!"

"So – what is he supposed to do now? When will this urge fade again?"

"It won't ever fade, Elena," Damon said resolutely. "Sooner or later he'll need human blood – otherwise he'll get more sensitive to the sun with every passing year. Without feeding from humans, he'll never be able to leave the house in plain daylight. It's just how it is – there's no sense in fighting it. It'll only get harder the longer he keeps abstinent, especially now that he has gotten a taste of it. It's probably like deciding to become a priest after you've had sex – you will always know what you're missing."

His calm and accepting way of looking at the ugly facts and the almost lighthearted manner in which he put them in words for me ignited my anger. "Don't you care at all that you annihilated Stefan's choice of how he wants to live by forcing him to taste my blood?"

"No!" Damon said forcefully. "Because there is no choice! People can't forget who they are, and neither can vampires! Constantly fighting what's natural for you – it can't be healthy. He won't be able to keep it up – sooner or later, he'll snap under the pressure, and that's going to be really dangerous for the humans around him. He should be grateful for my preventing that."

"Yeah, sure! Because his outlook is so much more positive now! Screwing around, chasing criminals or going to war!"

"There are other options. Getting access to a blood bank, getting a housekeeper..."

"A housekeeper?" I was momentarily confused, but my mind was quickly putting the pieces together. Then I got the picture, which Damon helpfully painted out for me nevertheless. "Someone for the cleaning and the meals."

"You are feeding on that woman who looks after your place?"

He shrugged. "Sometimes it's nice to eat at home."

"Meaning she's what – your mistress?"

"Marisol?" Damon was visibly taken aback. "Are you out of your mind – she must be in her fifties! No, she is what I said – a helpful spirit."

"So she knows what you are? And yet she's staying with you and accepting to be – used?"

"She's perfectly happy with that. Why should she not be? I take good care of my employees. She's been with me for decades. Sometimes I feel as if it's more her house than mine. Marisol has everything she could want for – a good salary, health insurance, a life-time's rent and a job that is not going to kill her."

"Just an employer who might!" I said, just because the opportunity for sarcasm was offering itself. Damon didn't appreciate my attempt at humor, though. Or maybe he had just not recognized it as such, for he seemed truly appalled. "I'm not going to kill her!" he said, forcefully rejecting the notion.

"I know. Just kidding." I smiled. Again, he stared at me with an almost bewildered look in his eyes. "You sure are in a strange mood today."

"I told you, I'm without fears. I feel relieved!"

"You're without fears? Well, that might help Stefan a great deal. I never got to make my third suggestion as to what he should do."

"Which is?"

Damon raised his eyebrows and gave me one of his looks – knowing, smug and very provocative. "Getting himself a girlfriend who isn't afraid of being bitten." Again, he managed to paint some really perturbing pictures in my mind. They weren't about Stefan, though. I cleared my throat. "Well, that's not gonna be me, for sure."

"So much for being fearless!"

Knowing that I had to make my confession now, I raised my eyes to meet his gaze. "No – it's not because of fear..." I said. "It's because our relationship is not at all like that."

"Not like what? Not sexually experimental enough to include a little biting?"

I took a deep breath. "Not sexual." It took a second for the meaning of my confession to sink in. "You've got to be kidding me," Damon said, disbelief in his voice. I shook my head wordlessly. Again, he frowned. "What's wrong with the guy – apart from the obvious? Is he gay? Are you going to tell me that you're just being friends and he's like a brother to you?"

"Something like that. Except he's not like a brother – he is my brother." Damon stared at me with a totally dumbfounded expression. I was starting to feel honestly sorry for him. Never before had I seen him lose control of a conversation like this – surely not with me. But then, he was only getting what he had so generously been dishing out: Tidbits of facts that were hard to digest, served with no decoration whatsoever. Something to hit people on the head with.

"Your brother who allegedly died in a street crime?"

"It was a vampire attack. Except that he wasn't just being fed from, he was vamped. Probably just to spite my father, who was on the council. It was an act of revenge. Stefan was brought to hospital and declared dead on arrival. But Elijah saw what had really happened and decided to save him. His name hadn't been Stefan, then. It used to be Steve."

There was a moment of silence. Damon got himself another refill, probably only to have something to occupy his hands. He never even took a sip. "Well," he finally said, his voice steady. "That sure comes as a surprise. It explains a lot, though... When did you find out?"

"After Fells Church."

"You never told me." I wasn't sure if there was a hint of accusation in his voice – if so, it was skillfully hidden. Stefan and I had both been leading him on – never giving a thought as to how he might feel about it. Because I had never deluded myself into thinking that Damon might have other intentions than jumping me – be it for feeding or for bedding. I still wasn't, really. I dropped my gaze, feeling slightly guilty. "I'm sorry. He asked me not to."

"Oh, well, I have a fair idea why that is... Though why he would think I'd have scruples about trying to steal another guy's girlfriend eludes me."

"I didn't even know you were looking for a girlfriend." Again, I knew I had made a point there. Damon was starting to say more than he intended to. I thought of it as an encouraging step into the right direction. He tried to backpedal. "I'm not!" he said, a bit irritated and defensive, though. "I only said I would consider stealing another guy's girlfriend – not that I'd want her for myself."

Sure. Only for the feeding and the bedding. "That's probably one of the reasons why Stefan didn't want me to be with you."

"Then why are you telling me now?"

"Because I thought you'd be more inclined to consider helping him if you didn't think he was my boyfriend. I want you to stop hating him."

"I'm not hating him. It's more something like – disdain."

"Please, Damon! I don't know what to do, and neither does Alys. You're the only one around with the experience to cope with what he's facing. If not for him, would you do it for me? Please?"

His expression was hard to read when he silently held my pleading gaze. After what felt like at least a minute, he averted his gaze, slightly shaking his head, and wordlessly headed for the stairs. I felt my heart sink. Why should he even consider helping me or Stefan after what I had just admitted to? He had every right to be mad.

Damon was already half up the stairs when he called after me, not even looking back. "Why are you still standing there? Go and drive ahead – I'll meet you at the dorms."


	27. My Brother's Keeper

ELENA

Alys was waiting for me in my dorm room. "How did it go?" she asked, clearly expecting me to admit defeat. I smiled. "He's coming."

Her eyes lit up in surprise. "I'd really like to know how you're doing it, Elena. I'd have sworn that Damon would sooner go on the bunny diet himself than help Stefan deal with this." I merely shrugged, not knowing how to respond to that. I didn't really know myself. "I told you: You're judging too harshly. Damon's not as bad as he makes himself appear. So – how's Stefan? Anything new?"

"No. He's still cloistering himself in his room, refusing to even talk to me."Alys sighed. "I hope Stefan's not going to hate us for bringing Damon into this," she said in a strained voice, probably wondering if this had been the right thing to do. "Maybe we should have asked Elijah for help. He'd be more sympathetic to what Stefan's going through than Damon..."

"Sympathy might not be what Stefan needs right now," I mildly objected. We had tried patience and understanding, and it clearly hadn't worked. The situation called for more desperate measures. We needed someone who wouldn't put up with Stefan's antics and wouldn't take 'no' for an answer. "We need Damon."

Before Alys could say anything else, there was a knock on the door. Talking of the devil... I got up to open it. There he was – with one of the party girls in tow. At least she was decently dressed now, and so was he. He must have driven fast to get here this soon. I felt immense relief. "You're here!"

Damon smirked. "You ask, I come. I'm easy like that! Where is he?"

"Locked up in his dorm room." Damon slightly bent his head sideways, pointing to the hallway. "Well then – rescue team's here! Lead the way!"

Given that it was Sunday and most of the students had gone home for the weekend, the hallways were thankfully deserted. We climbed to the floor where the male students had their rooms and found Stefan's door still locked. "Stefan?" Alys called, knocking again. "Can you please open the door? We really need to talk to you..."

"Go away, Alys! I don't want to talk," came Stefan's voice from inside. It sounded totally unfamiliar – tense, aggressive, carrying an undertone of despair. Just as I had guessed, Damon didn't waste time with idle chat. He moved Alys out of his way and, with an almost playful shove of his shoulder, simply knocked the door open, splintering the wood around the lock. Again, the hidden strength in his vampire body caught me by surprise. It was so easy to forget what he was.

Stefan gave a outraged gasp and jumped to his feet with uncanny speed. I thought he was going to attack Damon, but before he could, Damon was already there, forcing him to back down by clasping his throat.

"Don't even try to mess with me! I'm older and I'm stronger, and besides, I came here help to you – though only because Elena so very nicely asked me to." Stefan eyes flew to me, immediately suspecting a hidden meaning behind Damon's words, which he clearly had intended to insinuate. I shook my head, trying to signal him not to let himself be provoked. "It's okay, Stefan – he's telling the truth. I'm sorry – but we had to do something..."

"Why don't you all just go to hell and leave me alone?"

"Because that's not gonna help you, stupid!" Damon scolded. "You need to feed – unless you're planning on starving yourself into a vamp-coma. That would take days, and believe me, it's ugly!"

"Haven't you done enough damage yet? This is all your fault! I don't want any more of your help, and I surely don't want to become like you."

"Trust me, you're in no danger of that!" Damon pulled a blood bag out of his jacket, ripped it open and sniffed at it. "Disgusting. I prefer mine at 98,6. Anyway," he shoved it against Stefan's chest, "take it, or suffer the consequences if you don't. Because sooner or later, you'll be jumping on Elena – or any other human who comes your way." Damon squeezed the tube and a little bit of its contents came out. "You know you can't resist it, so you might as well stop trying."

Stefan forcefully inhaled and went rigid. Unable to resist what was right under his nose, he ripped the blood bag from Damon's hand faster than I could look. Turning his back on us, he brought it to his mouth and gulped down the content as if it was a canned coke. I felt nauseated and averted my eyes.

"There you go!" Damon said, satisfaction in his voice. "Much better now, isn't it? – Now, this was just to give you the taste and relieve the worst hunger, so you won't go berserk on the real thing. Since I figured that Elena wouldn't volunteer after all her previous biting experiences, I brought someone for you." At Damon's glance, the girl stepped forward, almost in a flirty way. She stopped right in front of Stefan, who instantly recoiled, turning his hands into fists.

"You don't have to be shy – she's used to this, and she won't mind giving you a little of her blood."

"No. I can't!" Stefan took another step back, clearly horrified. "What if I won't be able to stop?"

"Then I will make you! Now don't be a sissy!" Stefan was hesitating still, and Damon turned to me and Alys. "Why don't you two go downstairs for a while and give us some privacy, hm?" I nodded and pulled Alys along, trying to in vain to close the broken door behind us. She was reluctant to leave Stefan alone, clearly not trusting Damon, but still allowed me to drag her with me. If she'd been seriously resisting, I wouldn't have been able to budge her an inch.

"Relax, Alys!" I tried to cheer her up. "Stefan's gonna be okay. Do you think I would have called Damon for help if I didn't believe that? He's my brother, too." Alys looked at me, mild surprise in her gaze.

"Thank you for that..." she said softly and slightly squeezed my hand. I knew she wasn't referring to my trying to comfort her, but to the fact that I had just acknowledged her bond with Stefan to be as significant as mine. There was no doubt about that whatsoever. Alys had become the sister of his heart during all those years that Stefan and I had been separated, and notwithstanding the blood connection between the two of us, Alys would always be a part of it. If only she could find her peace with Damon, too. But the prospects for that hadn't brightened, no matter how good his intentions might be.

"What's he thinking – to bring along those prostitutes for feeding?" Alys gave vent to her annoyance when we were back in my room. We didn't really know what to do with ourselves. "Does he think it's making it any better if he's paying them for it?"

"Well, it's sure better than most of the alternatives," I pointed out. Not that I was a firm supporter of prostitution, but Damon was right. They were clearly consenting adults. Paying them to satisfy his needs was way better than simply taking what he wanted from someone who was unwilling.

"What's so wrong with Elijah's and my way of living? We get along fine without having to take advantage of anyone."

"Yes. But maybe Stefan will have to make that choice for himself. And he can only make a choice if he has an alternative, and that means he needs to have control over himself, even when faced with temptation. You've been around much longer. Maybe you have forgotten what it was like."

"How can you be so understanding about this?" Alys asked after a while, looking at me with a frown. "All this should freak you out."

I shrugged. "It does, every now and then. But, I don't know, somehow the way Damon is handling this – making it seem almost normal – is making it easier for me to accept what you are."

"Well, aren't I glad to hear that..." We both turned, noting that Damon had come down again, looking smug.

"How is he?" Alys asked. Damon leaned his back to the door and folded his arms in front of his chest. "Sated, for the time being. How lucky that I had someone around when she was needed."

"And where is she now?" Alys asked, sounding worried. Damon looked at her dispassionately. "Well, after finishing her off, we cut her into small chunks and put them in a plastic bag. I'm gonna dispose of it when I leave."

I rolled my eyes at him. Alys had probably meant to inquire if the girl was still with Stefan and if it was wise to leave him alone with her. As usual, he had chosen to purposefully misunderstand her. Observing Alys and Damon's interactions from the sideline, I believed I saw a pattern. Damon was always quick to assume that Alys thought the worst of him. Just instead of defending himself, he mostly reacted in a way that seemed to confirm all her suspicions – probably in order to hide that it hurt him. Which resulted in Alys being offended because he thought so badly of her. It was a really twisted thing they had going.

"I'm going to check on Stefan," Alys said, shooting Damon an angry glance and pushing him to move out of her way.

As soon as she was out of the room, I raised an eyebrow at him. "And I suppose you couldn't just have told her that you've put the girl in a cab and sent her home?" I asked a little ironically, pretty sure that's exactly what he had done. He shrugged, not answering, but since I had been looking out for it, I saw the tiny twitch in the corners of his mouth.

Damon lazily sat down on my bed, putting his arms behind his head. He scanned the room with curious eyes before focusing his attention on me again. "Are you sure you don't want to move back into the boarding house?" he asked. "This is really kind of cramped. I can't imagine how Alys managed to live here without jumping you. I surely would have..."

I didn't deem that worthy of an answer. As a matter of fact, the room seemed even smaller with Damon in it. But given that he had managed to shrink even the parlor of the boarding house with his mere presence, I couldn't see how living there would make much of a difference.

"The girls at your house – did you compel them?" I asked, trying to direct my thoughts to something other than Damon lying on my bed. It was kind of unnerving. "I mean... she was taking it all so calmly – as if she'd done it several times before. As if she knew."

"That's because she did."

"But I remember you saying that it's against this vampire codex to let any human in on the secret..."

"Well, there are exceptions to it – for sworn blood servants."

"Blood servants?" I choked. Damon innocently spread his hands. "Don't look at me – I didn't come up with the term. As you might remember, I always refer to Marisol as my housekeeper or my helping spirit. Besides, it's an old expression, though still better than the even older one. In ancient Rome and, admittedly so, before the American civil war, they were called 'blood slaves'. Well, they weren't paid for their services, back then. Even vampires go with the times, to some extent."

"So you're saying there are actually people who volunteer to become someone's personal blood bag? Like your 'housekeeper'?"

"The world is full of vampire groupies – you wouldn't believe it!"

"And whose 'housekeepers' might your party guests be?"

"You can swear loyalty not only to a living person, but to a legal body... a community, a company, or a club."

"Okay, so they really are prostitutes, then."

"If doing something for money that we wouldn't necessarily be doing without receiving it is a definition of prostitution, all working folk are prostituting themselves."

Looking at it that way, I had to admit that he had a point there. "If it's as simple as that, why does Alys have such a hard time dealing with it – even though nobody gets killed or harmed? They don't get killed or harmed, right?"

Now it was Damon who rolled his eyes. "No, Elena, they don't! It would kind of thwart the whole concept. As to Alys – you'd have to ask her, for I really don't have a clue. She refuses feeding from the vein, but does take the same blood if it comes in bags. Doesn't make sense to me."

"Maybe she sees a difference between an animal and a sentient being. Maybe it's the victim's knowledge that he is being used as a food source that makes it unethical for her."

"Then Alys is a hypocrite. If you can't slaughter a pig, you shouldn't be eating the meat." I raised my brow at that, not quite liking how Damon equated slaughtering pigs to feeding from humans. It made it sound as brutal as I imagined it to be. Not wanting to dwell on the images arising in my mind, I turned and occupied myself by tidying up a few things. Damon stretched out his legs and observed me silently.

"How long is it going to take before Stefan's back to normal?" I asked him, eventually facing him again.

"Depends on what you consider normal for a vampire." He shrugged and picked up my stuffed bear, Mr. Snuggles, and gave it a once over before placing it on his stomach to face him. I tried not to be distracted by that, either. "Back to how he was before! He's not himself like this."

"Yes he is. He just spent way too much time not being himself before. The Stefan you know, this good-behavior Stefan, rein-it-in Stefan, fight-against-his-nature to an annoyingly obsessive level Stefan – if you think that's all he really is, then you haven't been paying attention."

"He's not you. He's not even close."

"He doesn't want to be me. That doesn't mean, that deep down, he's not." He sighed, taking pity on me and my growing despair. "Look, he might still decide to sign Alys's version of the human rights act, but he should do so only after he's made sure that he can control himself in every situation. It might take some time to get there, though."

"So – what are we to do with him until then?"

Damon shrugged. "Stock up on blood bags. See to it that he feeds regularly. Make sure someone's with him when he's feeding on a human in the beginning – until he get's a feeling for it."

I hadn't realized that Alys had come back in until Damon's attention shifted to her. Turning, I saw her standing at the door, crossing her arms in front of her just like Damon had a while before, mimicking his pose. She smiled with fake cheerfulness. "Great!" she said in answer to his advise. "That sounds just like the job for you. Which leaves only one option: Stefan will have to move in with us."

"Us as in you and me?" Damon asked, frowning. "No way! I'm not gonna play babysitter for a toddling vampire who'll most likely spit his morals in my face every time I urge him to something as vile as to feed!"

"There's no other way. I'm not exactly an expert on the straight-from-the-vein thing. And what are we going to do during the week? Stefan can't possibly stay in the dorms in his current state. He'll end up practicing control on our fellow students."

"I fail to see how any of this is my problem."

"It will be, if Stefan loses control. You're in it, Damon, whether you like it or not. See it this way – there might even be a chance for you to get this male-bonding thing going. Isn't that how you guys normally do it? Drinking and picking up girls together?"

"I have absolutely no desire to bond with Stefan," he retorted indignantly. "And I bet my bottom dollar that Stefan will tell you the same with regard to me."

"Well, then don't bond – but keep an eye on him and help him to get back together. You owe it to him. You owe it to Elena."

Damon got up in one smooth, rapid move, shoving Mr. Snuggles into my arms. "Just to make it clear," he said, looking from me to Alys. "I don't owe either one of you anything. But before Elena goes all Bambi on me and starts groveling again: Fine! I'll give it one week, just to get Mr. Morality through the worst of it. But we'll do it my way."

"Which means?" Alys asked suspiciously.

Damon grinned. "Prostitutes, sorority chicks, and a lot of drinking."


	28. Under Control

ELENA

It took a great deal of arguing, begging and persuading to get Stefan to agree to Alys's idea of moving to their house. He finally relented, as his concerns of losing control with any of us outweighed his reluctance to deal with Damon.

I had to take Alys's word on it, because I hadn't seen Stefan since the day Damon had broken into his room. Stefan still refused to see me or Bonnie, not trusting himself around us. Only now did I realize what a vital part Stefan had become in my life over the last months – just a couple of days without him and I missed him dearly.

When he finally agreed to speak to me in person again – under Damon's supervision at the boarding house – he smiled at me from what he considered a safe distance and carefully maintained it. It seemed pretty exaggerated to me. "So, how have you been doing?" I asked, feeling a little bit silly talking to him with an entire room stretching between us. Stefan shrugged. "Fine, compared to how I felt a few days ago. It's getting better."

"But you still think you can't handle it?"

"It doesn't work for me, Elena," Stefan said wistfully. "Feeding how Damon thinks it should be done... I can't bring myself to do it. It doesn't feel right. And it just isn't me."

"So what are you going to do then?"

"Sticking to blood bags, like Elijah and Alys do. Apparently, I won't ever get clean of human blood again." I mused at his choice of words. Clean – like he was a drug addict or an alcoholic. But maybe he was. They couldn't even drink a glass of beer without having to go cold turkey all over again.

"I guess I will have to keep myself away from crowds and girls for a while. And that includes you. We need to keep a distance."

"How much is a distance?" I wanted to know, not fully able to keep the irony out of my voice. "Are you planning to move out of state?"

"No, of course not. There would still be humans around, with no one to control me."

"Who's controlling you now?"

"Damon," Stefan said matter-of-factly. "He won't let me kill you – or anybody you care about. That's the only reason why I agreed to see you."

I marveled briefly at his assumption that my human life held value for Damon – enough that Stefan was entrusting it to him. Of course, Damon wouldn't let me die – he'd proven that at least twice already – but would he really mind being forced to vamp me, if Stefan slipped?

"What if it's not going to work for you? What if you'll never be like before again?"

"Alys has been coping for many years," Stefan argued. I reminded him that Alys had also been keeping a safe distance from humans of the opposite gender for as long as I'd known her. It was a lonely prospect for the future. "What about Bonnie?"

He dropped his gaze. "I don't know. I can't be around her just now – it's even worse than with you."

"That's because you want her," came Damon's snippy voice from the door that made us both turn. "And it's not always easy for a vampire to distinguish between hunger and – hunger, if you get my meaning." Damon was leaning in the doorframe, looking as if he was up to something. A nearly invisible smile played around his mouth. "I brought someone for you," he informed Stefan cheerfully, who responded with a distrustful and suspicious frown.

"I hope it's not another sorority girl, prostitute or vampire groupie volunteering as a blood donor... I told you, I'm not gonna do that again. It's revolting."

"No to the first and to the second. A definite 'maybe' to the third." Damon turned his head back to the hallway. "Come on in, Sabrina!"

He took a step aside to let another person enter. "Bonnie!" Stefan gasped in shock when he saw who Damon had brought along. "What are you doing here?"

"I asked her to come," Damon said without a trace of guilt. "Since we're having this little get-together, I figured she shouldn't be left out. After all, she's as much part of the problem as the solution to it."

"No – please, Bonnie! This is not good – you have to leave!" Distraught, Stefan scanned the room for possibility to back off even further, but there was no escape. So he just clutched the back of a chair as if that could prevent him from involuntarily flinging himself forward.

Damon shot him a disapproving glance and cocked his head to the side. "You have to excuse him, Bonnie. See, the reason why he is behaving like a jerk is this: No vampire can feel attraction for a human for long without feeling the hunger, too. Judging by his reaction to you, I'd say that Stefan has reached that stage already. So unless the two of you decide to never see each other again, Stefan has to learn to control his urges – so he won't accidentally kill you when his lower instincts are taking over. Unfortunately, he's been acting rather coyly up to now – at least towards the girls who were freely offering their services. He walks on a moral plane way out of our eye line, believing that feeding from the vein is unethical, immoral, politically incorrect... you name it."

"That's because I still have moral principles, whereas you don't give a damn who you hurt, who you use or who you kill, as long as it suits your needs! I'm not gonna become like that! I'd sooner die!"

"Only you can't!" Damon said with a sarcastic smile. "You're immortal!"

"But not immoral!"

"Yeah. That's a hell of a mantra. You should tattoo it somewhere." Damon rolled his eyes. "Given that you don't want to feed on a girl who gets paid for it, the most reasonable thing to do is to feed on one who'll do it for free. That's why I asked Bonnie over."

"What?" Stefan and I stared at him, totally aghast.

"If Bonnie is willing to sacrifice a few pints of her blood, this should not put you in an ethical predicament, right? You like her and she likes you... nothing to get your morals worked up about."

"Damon, will you please shut up before I make you!"

"But he's right. I want to help." Bonnie seemed neither surprised nor shocked about any of this. Obviously, Damon had given her the details beforehand, and she had a good idea about what she was getting herself into. I had to admire her courage. If I hadn't been so much of a coward, I might have offered myself, but I had recoiled from that thought the moment it had crossed my mind. Just as Stefan felt that he wouldn't be able to sink his teeth into anyone's flesh, I could not stand the idea of having anyone sink his teeth into mine again. Not after what had happened. I was glad that Damon hadn't suggested it.

As sound as his arguments were, I could understand that Stefan was seriously pissed with him for including Bonnie in this without consulting him first. But of course, he wouldn't have considered it – not for a second, just as he was not going to consider it now. "Bonnie, no – stay away!" Stefan implored, clearly taken aback. "I don't want to feed on any human, least of all on you!"

"Now, Stefan, there is no reason to be rude!" Damon chided, turning to Bonnie again. "Don't listen to him, I'm sure he didn't mean to be offensive. He'll love your blood – just as much as he likes everything else about you."

His gaze wandered from her to me, so when he continued, I knew this wasn't just about Stefan and Bonnie any more. "The more he falls for you, the more he'll get attracted to it – until he'll no longer be able to resist. It's inevitable." This warning was also directed at me. Either I stayed away from him, or I'd suffer the consequences. There was no pure and untainted love to be had with a vampire. No kissing without biting.

Bonnie put down her jacket. "Please, Stefan – why won't you let me help? You've saved me, before. I'm not afraid." Her pleading voice made him look at her, but his face was like stone. "I'm not gonna do this to you – nor to anybody else. Using people as if they are walking blood bags – I don't want to be like that."

Damon snorted. "Ah, Stefan! Always the white knight! Well, here's some bad news for you: You already are! And there's nothing you can do about it! Face it – you are a vampire! Feeding on humans is what we do, so you might as well enjoy it." His words were harsh, but there was no denying the facts. Yet Stefan could be sarcastic, too.

"Sorry if the idea of hurting someone does not really excite me. Something must have gone seriously wrong when I got vamped!"

"It surely can't be that bad..." Bonnie shrugged her shoulders. "Otherwise Damon wouldn't find anyone willing to become his playmate. Just try to be careful."

"I think they're right, Stefan..." I reluctantly put in, only to have Damon interrupt me. "Of course I am!" he said cockily. I scowled at him, then, on turning to Stefan, softened my glance. "Being a vampire doesn't change who you are. You can still be a decent person, you can still make the right decisions. And you don't have to become flippant or cynical about it, nor ignorant of people's feelings." Like certain other vampires.

"It's not the fact that you need blood that makes you a bad person," Bonnie added, "it's what you're willing to do to get it that makes the difference. And you don't even have to make a habit of it."

Damon nodded. "Certainly not. You can always go back to chasing squirrels or sucking food from bags – provided you don't mind a little fur between the teeth or the plastic taste."

"Will you please stop being snarky?" I begged him, exasperated. "This is not helpful." He shrugged. Then, with another totally unexpected move, he grabbed Bonnie's arm and pulled her over. "Well, then maybe this is," he said, bending his head down and sinking his teeth into her wrist. Bonnie visibly flinched.

"No!" Stefan shouted, instinctively jumping forward and only stopping dead in his tracks when Damon immediately looked up again, licking his lips. "There," he said, and softly pushed Bonnie towards Stefan. "See if you manage to resist her now."

Clearly, he wasn't managing it. His nostrils flared, and a desperate, animalistic sound tore from his throat. Something indefinable happened to his features – they sharpened, suddenly turning darker and less human. His eyes seemed to sink into dark hollows, which, I soon realized, weren't shadows at all: rather, the thin layer of skin beneath his eyes was all of a sudden showing a fine net of veins that hadn't been there before. While the white of his eyes appeared bloodshot, his pupils had contracted to mere pinpoints in the unholy glow of his irises, emphasizing his non-human appearance. It looked alien, unsettling and definitely threatening. I knew that if he were to open his tightly pressed lips now, his mouth would show fangs. Instinctively, I stepped back.

Stefan averted his face, obviously aware of the change. I could see that he was breathing hard. Yet Bonnie's eyes remained fixed on him and she kept drawing nearer. Amazingly, she still seemed very composed as she stood in front of him, gently putting a hand on his chin to make him face her again. On doing so, she also brought her bleeding wrist close to his mouth, and that's when he lost control.

I turned my back on them, unable to watch, I heard Damon calmly say: "Okay, that's it – let go of her for now." His slightly strained posture made clear that he was ready to jump in any moment, if need be. But Stefan seemed able to cope. He raised his head and slowly lowered Bonnie's arm. His face, which still bore a trace of that unfamiliar strangeness, was slowly transforming back to normal, but he remained tense and keyed-up.

"There," Damon said again, satisfied. "That wasn't so bad, was it? Seems like our practice is paying off."

I looked at Bonnie, who was a little paler than usual, but most likely, that was due to the situation as such, and not a result of the blood loss. Stefan surely couldn't have taken that much in such a short time. She sat down on the sofa with slightly shaky legs, careful not to look at her wrist.

Damon poured a glass of bourbon into a glass and offered it to Bonnie. "Have some – it'll calm your nerves. If I can persuade you to have some more after that one, we might even enjoy seeing Stefan drunk for the first time in – well, probably at least ten years. Provided he ever got drunk while he was still human."

Bonnie accepted the drink, but declined a refill. "I might be a little shaken, but not that much, thank you. I'm a witch – I'm familiar with the concept of spilling a little blood. Like you said: It wasn't so bad."

"Well, good for you, because he'll have to chomp on you again. The idea is to make him learn how to stop any time. So you just stick around a little longer and – and then let's see if he can do it once more." He looked at me questioningly. "You look as if you could use a drink, too."

I shook my head and turned to the kitchen. "I need a glass of water." Above all, I needed to get away from Bonnie, whose wrist was still bleeding slightly, and Stefan, who stood with clenched fists beside her, not really able to turn his gaze from it. Whatever it was that he was fighting, it scared me. Maybe because seeing Stefan, who was always so calm and composed, this worked-up at the sight of blood did not make him feel-good company. I could only hope that he would get things under control, because I definitely did not care to see that expression on his face ever again.

"Are you all right?" I looked up to see Damon leaning in the kitchen's door frame. From there, he still had a view of the living room – just in case. "I think I've seen dead bodies with a healthier glow than yours just now..."

"I've never seen him like this," I said, hunching my shoulders. "It's like he turned into a completely different person... His eyes – they were like..." My voice faltered, I was unable to describe what I had seen in them.

"Just a very visible sign of hunger or heightened emotions," Damon said calmly, "nothing to be concerned about."

"It's unsettling – as is everything else that's going on in there."

"Awkward and about as sexy as artificial insemination," he agreed, then gave a snort. "And you call me a freak!"

"Well, I guess there is simply nothing sensual in being bitten," I said, which earned me one of his penetrating stares. "Oh, but there is!" he objected with utter conviction, before gesturing towards the living room with a slight movement of his head, a touch of disdain back in his face. "This, on the other hand, is disgusting to watch – makes me feel like peeping Tom. Just instead of seeing a naked woman on a horse, it's more like observing an uninspired coupling in the dark for the sake of reproduction."

"You are feeding from Marisol," I reminded him, recalling how aghast he had been on my presumption that he was sleeping with her. Obviously, sensuality was not a part of it.

Damon frowned. "Bonnie is not a middle-aged, slightly overweight housekeeper, but an attractive young woman. Besides, even my feeding from Marisol has more sensuality to it than this."

I had troubles imagining it – but then, the whole concept of having a personal blood servant seemed strange to begin with. "Stefan just isn't comfortable with it."

"Yes, and it shows," Damon said reproachfully. "How could he ever make Bonnie enjoy this if he himself is so awkward about it?"

I thought about the few times I had witnessed those teeth in action. It was nothing I cared to repeat. "I can't see how anyone could enjoy being bitten," I said, shifting uneasily.

"I guessed as much." Damon gave me an intense look that was impossible to read. "But there is a reason for people to become vampire groupies. You know, Elena – quite a few women actually get off on it..."

I felt myself blushing. For some reason, I also felt a bit defensive. As if he had just called me a prude. "Well, Bonnie and I both have had our first hand experience, and there was nothing even remotely enjoyable in it – not when I was attacked in the car, not when Bonnie got bitten or when you bit me last Saturday."

His reaction was astonishingly frank. "That's because those were all acts of violence," he said matter-of-factly. "They were never intended to be anything but cruel."

Although I had been careful not to let any sign of reproach tint my voice, I was a bit surprised that he so readily filed his own actions into that category. It was impossible to tell if he had regrets about it, but he obviously knew that by biting me, he had left his mark on me in more than a literal sense. I might not be afraid of him for what he had done, but I was afraid of becoming the subject of his most primitive urges.

"Then how can she do it?" I wondered, not really having meant to say out loud what I failed to understand. "Why isn't she scared to death after what happened in the library?"

"Because Bonnie doesn't remember any of it. It was easy to take the memories from her – the biting at the time didn't fit into her perception of events. In fact, everything made much more sense without this particular detail. For you, it was different. You were aware of what had happened, even though I erased the details from you mind. Unfortunately, your imagination filled in the missing pieces. Adding that to your other experiences, which admittedly haven't been pleasant, I guess we can call you traumatized, after all." He leaned closer and, with a smug smile, added: "But you know what? I'd be perfectly willing to help you get over it! I'm actually very good at making it pleasurable..."

I merely stared at him and audibly swallowed. Well, if that didn't make everything so much less disconcerting!

BONNIE

There was an awkward moment when Elena left for the kitchen and Damon followed close behind. Not because I was scared – I wasn't. But Stefan and I were both fully aware of the intimacy involved in his feeding on me, and we had taken that step before having had a chance to sort out our feelings and admit them to each other.

After Friday night, there had just been that one phone conversation, before Stefan had visibly distanced himself from me. At first, I had been afraid that he had become aware of my feelings and didn't reciprocate them. When it became obvious that his detachment didn't have anything to do with me, but all to do with Stefan's predicament, I had felt relief rather than worry.

So when Damon had shown up and told me what he wanted me to do, I hadn't thought twice about it. Still, this would have been easier if our relationship had at least been acknowledged.

Stefan obviously felt the same. He was standing beside the window, turning his back on me and avoiding even looking at me. "Why did you agree to this, Bonnie?" he asked, staring into the green that was slowly turning dark grey with the fading light.

He probably was going to delve into guilt and self-loathing again, and even though I felt a little unsure myself, I slowly walked over to him. Silently leaning against the window, I looked up into his tense and anguished face, wishing I could wipe the hurt, the pain and the fear from it.

"Because I wanted to," I told him honestly, hoping that I'd be able to make him believe me. "Because I care about you. And because I want nothing more that to get near you again."

There was doubt in his eyes, though probably not at my words. But there was also a glimmer of something else – hope?

"Did you ever know that you were my very first real love?" I asked, smiling in memory of my childish, eight year old self, and smiling at the man who the hero of my childhood had grown into. "You were so cool, so kind and caring. I always felt like there was nothing in the world you wouldn't be able to put right. My diary from back then has your name in it on almost every page, mostly framed with hearts."

This had him finally turn his gaze on me. The ghost of a smile twitched the corner of his mouth. "No, it hasn't!" he said in honest disbelief. I noticed that some of the tension seemed to leave his body.

"I still have it if you want proof," I said solemnly. "When I met you at the library that day – before Elena even laid eyes on you – I had this feeling again. Like the day you saved me from Jimmy Jenkins." Given that he obviously didn't remember, I related the incident that was still etched into my memory in detail, making him smile for real this time.

"I didn't have the slightest idea that I was superman in your eyes back then," Stefan said softly and a little sadly. "I wish I had known."

"You still are, Stefan." Reaching out, I gently touched his face, fully aware that I was bringing my wrist with its oozing wound dangerously close to his mouth again. The veins around his eyes immediately became prominent and his eyes darkened. He was about to turn away, so I quickly put my other hand to his chin, cupping his face and holding it in place. "Don't..." I begged, hoping that he would not shut me out again this time.

"How is that even possible?" he whispered, holding my gaze in wonder. "How can you love me still, seeing what I have become – a monster?"

"We can never choose who we love. And you are no more a monster in my eyes than I am just food in yours. I know that I'm not."

Stefan slowly raised his own hand and covered mine, gently caressing it with his thumb. His gaze held me captured, and though his eyes looked alien and unhuman right now, the passion in it didn't. "In my eyes, you are the most beautiful, courageous and selfless woman I ever met," he said almost reverently. "You're sweet, and warm, and I find myself drawn to you more that I ever thought possible. I can't resist you, Bonnie."

"Then don't," I whispered, seeing the veins around his eyes darken at my words.

He turned his face slightly sideways until his lips were almost touching my skin, his cheek rough against the soft skin of my wrist. He took a struggled breath, taking in my scent and that of my blood. I slightly nodded my head, silently telling him that it was alright.

He wasn't able to fight it any longer. Or maybe, I hoped, he had finally stopped feeling that he had to. Giving in to his instincts, he sank his teeth into my flesh again, his left hand firmly holding my wrist in place, his arm encircling my waist and pulling me close to his body. Despite the slightly burning pain that soon ebbed off, I felt good in his embrace.

When he managed to release me after only taking about three gulps of my blood, he slowly lifted his head and searched my gaze. His face no longer looked dark and forlorn, but was filled with immense relief, wonder and hope. Stefan reached out a hand to tenderly touch my cheek. "I might not have known it when I was still human," he said, his voice slightly shaking, "but I know it now: I love you, Bonnie. You're coming to me in the heart of all this darkness, like a beacon of light, and I can't even begin to describe how that makes me feel..."

"Ahhh, please!" Damon's contemptuous voice interrupted our moment. "No need to get cheesy!" He stepped into the living room again, contorting his face in mock disgust. Elena, who was close behind him, smacked his arm. "Damon!" she chided in outrage. "There is also no need for you to be an asshole again!"

I felt myself blushing, which fortunately did not show on my dark skin. I disentangled myself from Stefan, but when my fingers slipped away from his face, he quickly took my hand into his and refused to let go.

Having untied the knot and strings that had kept us wrapped up in our emotional turmoil, I was overcome with joy and happiness. But I also found renewed strength and determination. I knew exactly what I wanted now, and I was going to fight for it.

"Your timing sucks," I said to Damon, lifting my chin. "Though I really appreciate your concern, we were doing just fine without you."

Damon actually chuckled. "That's the spirit!" he said approvingly. "Soppy ending aside, that was a vast improvement to the pitiful show you gave us before. Keep it up, but..." he raised a finger in mock warning, "... don't try anything kinky yet! You don't want Stefan to get carried away."

Elena rolled her eyes and mouthed an apology. Though Damon probably enjoyed embarrassing us, I still thought that his advise had some merit. If control was the issue, we had better avoid situations in which control was easily lost. For now. I wondered if there wasn't a way to protect myself. I was a witch, after all. According to grams, the dark ones were fearful of witches, and there must be a reason for that. I decided to consult the grimoires and look for some hints on the matter. It'd be nice if I could threaten Damon with something... like turning him into a frog.

"Now," Damon poured himself a whiskey and sat down on the sofa, fixing Stefan with his gaze. "I suggest you keep practicing your control by getting into a routine. Have a little bit of Bonnie for breakfast every morning – just a few sips, just like you did now. For added security, do it somewhere semi-public, where the fear of discovery will help you not to get lost in rapture – provided you don't like being watched. If you do, you can always ask Alys, at least she'll be able to stop you, if need be."

Geez. Did the man ever form a sentence that didn't ooze with sexual innuendos? Catching Elena's flustered gaze, it dawned on me that Damon's intent was not provoking me or Stefan – he was trying to get under Elena's skin, and he was succeeding. For her sake, I hoped only figuratively speaking. If the frog thing didn't work, cursing him with warts shouldn't be so hard to do...

"Every morning?" Elena asked, concern in her voice. "How will that affect Bonnie? Isn't that too much blood to lose?"

"Well, we don't want him to still his hunger on her. On the contrary: She'll be something like an appetizer. The idea is to learn to stop at any given time." Damon turned his gaze to Stefan and added with a disdainful smirk: "Just always make sure you have a squirrel at hand for the main dish!"


End file.
